Archive for October, 2009

Chris Brown should stop talking

October 29th, 2009 // 96 Comments
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Seen here performing in New Jersey this week, Chris Brown has been actively posting to his Twitter and fired off the following message to the blogosphere:

OFFICIAL ALBUM DATE: DECEMBER 15… GRAFFITI… NOW BLOG ABOUT THIS..LOL

INSTEAD OF HOW I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF RIHANNA… ROFL… AND SENT HER TO THE ER… LOL… THEN DID NO JAIL TIME CAUSE I GOT DIAMOND SHOES… LMFAO… NOW I’M GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER MILLION OFF HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WHO THINK RIHANNA HAD IT COMING… LOLOLOLOL… KANYE TAUGHT ME HOW TO COMMUNICATE ONLINE… ROFLMAO

Photos: Fame
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Hailey Glassman: ‘Jon Gosselin acts like a dick to me’

October 29th, 2009 // 64 Comments

Hailey Glassman appeared on The Insider yesterday where she revealed Jon Gosselin has anger issues and basically treats her like shit. But how do you leave all that handsome? Via PopEater:

“He’ll call me and take his anger out on me. He has ‘mantrums.’ I shouldn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused.”
She adds, “I cry and say, ‘Why are you so mean to me?’ “
“Sometimes he has trouble with the truth,” she says, “and he will dance and dance around his lies. He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. But I still love him.”

I’m going to interpret that last part to mean former Star magazine reporter Kate Major is about six months away from squeezing out her own reality show: Jon & That Other Kate Plus Does It Really Matter? You People Will Watch Anything. Only on TLC!

Photo: INFdaily
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The 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorers Edition

October 28th, 2009 // 97 Comments
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Welcome to the mother lode of all bikini posts. Here’s the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorers Edition featuring Bar Refaeli, Brooklyn Decker and a bunch of other models whose names I’ll eventually learn once they bang Leonardo DiCaprio. In the meantime, it’s sort of a recap collection for the year, but if anybody actually feels the need to complain about them being old, the Spencer Pratt Fan Club is a few sites over conveniently next to Tom Cruise’s Blog on How to Fake a Straight Marriage. Can’t miss it.

Photos: Sports Illustrated
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Sophie Monk is wanted by the police and other news

October 28th, 2009 // 33 Comments
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- Jennifer Lopez and Will Smith: The new face of Xenu? [Lainey Gossip]

- Dax Sheppard sees Kristen Bell looking at babies and immediately tries to fuck another woman. You can’t teach that. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Teri Hatcher doesn’t have swine flu, everybody. She’s just old. [Just Jared]

- Angelina Jolie banged her mom’s boyfriend. But still not Rosie O’Donnell right? Okay, good. [Celebslam]

- Khloe Kardashian could ruin Lamar Odom’s basketball career. [PopEater]

- Patrick Dempsey apparently just shows up places and juggles. [PopSugar]

- Pete Wentz gets a dude’s face tattooed on his arm leg after losing a bet. Seems like Pete won in the end if you ask me and Ashlee Simpson’s neglected vagina. [The Blemish]

- Ice-T never has to worry about finding a cup holder. [Socialite Life]

Photos: Pacific Coast News
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Amber Heard in FHM

October 28th, 2009 // 38 Comments
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To make up for the one-two punch of Rosie’s camel-toe and Kate Gosselin, here’s Amber Heard in FHM. I know nothing short of a bunker full of porn and Everclear will help in this situation, but right now it’s occupied, so you’re stuck with Amber here. On that note, if I don’t update my Facebook page in a couple hours, send someone in after me who should be prepared to make my corpse look like I died punching a ninja. (Note: Not a reference toward my penis despite both possessing similar skill sets.)

Photos: FHM
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Kate Gosselin isn’t ready to date

October 28th, 2009 // 51 Comments
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Unlike her ex-husband Jon “I Never Met a Vagina I Didn’t Like Including Lopsided Ones” Gosselin, Kate is swearing off dating according to her recent appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Via Celebuzz:

“I’m not thinking about [dating] but the thought has crossed my mind at some point [that] it’s going to be scrutinized. Let’s not talk about it.”
Kate did, elaborate, however, that she wouldn’t want to subject any new suitors to the glare of the spotlight and “the 18 cars [of paparazzi] that follow me around.”

Listen to Miss Hollywood here complete with Starbucks grip: “Oh, I don’t want to frighten the poor man with my glamorous lifestyle.” Notice how her answer isn’t: “I’m not sure how my kids would respond to it.” I mean, it’s not like she wouldn’t be concerned about that because if they’re all out of whack and not filming, who’s going to foot the Lexus lease? And cue the panic attack.

Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News
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