Archive for September, 2009

DJ AM overdosed (In case there were doubts.)

September 29th, 2009 // 34 Comments

DJ AM’s death has been ruled an accidental drug overdose by the New York medical examiner’s office, according to the AP:

The toxicology report showed the 36-year-old had in his system cocaine, OxyContin, Hydrocodone or Vicodin, antianxiety drugs Xanax and Ativan, Klonopin which also controls anger, Benadryl, and Levamisole, a drug apparently used to cut cocaine.
The cause of death was acute intoxication due to the combined effects the drugs, the medical examiner’s office said. The dosage of each drug was not released.
He was found Aug. 28 in his apartment in New York City’s trendy SoHo neighborhood after a friend called 911. Paramedics had to break down the door before they found him, shirtless and wearing sweat pants, in his bed around 5:20 p.m.
Six pills were found in his stomach and a pill in his throat when he was found dead in his apartment. The pill in his throat appeared to be OxyContin. A crack pipe and prescription pill bottles were discovered there.

No one’s saying if it was a suicide, but I don’t really know what a person expects to happen after shoving that many drugs in their face. For example, if I went out back and chugged a can of Raid, that’s not so much accidental as a purposeful act of self-inflicted dumb. So if somebody could maybe change that on the death certificate…

Photo: WENN
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Jon Gosselin dropped from Jon & Kate Plus 8, tries to stop divorce

September 29th, 2009 // 69 Comments
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Jon Gosselin, The Marlboro Man of Mediocre Trim, has been axed from his own reality show which will now be called Kate Plus 8, according to Us Magazine:

It will continue to focus on the lives of the young Gosselin twins, 5, and 8-year-old sextuplets but with a deeper focus on Kate’s role as a single mother.
“Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family,” TLC president Eileen O’Neill said in a statement. “The family has evolved and we are attempting to evolve with it; we feel that Kate’s journey really resonates with our viewers.”
She added that the network is in development on a Kate project for 2010.

Coincidentally, InTouch reports Jon has filed papers this morning to delay the divorce another 90 days so communication between him and Kate can improve:

“This will enable Kate and me to restore our relationship as cooperative parents and to open up our lines of communication. I hope that she will be as receptive and enthusiastic as I am to do what is best for our family.” He also pleaded with her to set aside their anger so they can start interacting amicably. “I would like to get back with Kate as a partner in parenting,” Jon tells In Touch. “Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That’s why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family — not destroy it.”

Read: “Parents should really exploit their children as a team, and also, how the fuck am I supposed to bang marginally attractive women on ATVs without a reality TV gravy train? You’re killing me here.”

Photos: Splash News
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Mel Gibson and a euphemisim for a vagina go for a jog…

September 29th, 2009 // 50 Comments
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MR. BEAVER: What are we gonna do tonight, Mel?
MEL: Same thing we do every night, Mr. Beaver. Blame the Jews.
MR. BEAVER: Wow. Really? I thought we’d just get drunk and drive around.
MEL: Can we say it’s the Jews’ fault?
MR. BEAVER: … I can’t hang out with you anymore.
MEL: Is it because of the Jews?
MR. BEAVER: Get your hand out of my colon.

Photos: Splash News
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Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush are back together

September 29th, 2009 // 58 Comments
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With one sister pregnant and the other sister married, Kim Kardashian had to act quickly before she became the lonely spinster housing 28 cats under her ass. So she’s back with Reggie Bush. People reports:

“They’re totally back together for real,” says a source close to the couple. “Kim and Reggie spent a few months apart getting their priorities together and figuring out who they were as individuals so they can make it work together.”

Honestly, I never believed these two were dating in the first place, so it makes me wonder what exactly Kim and/or her publicist have on Reggie Bush that makes him get in line and play the doting boyfriend again at the drop of the hat. Maybe she’s letting him have sex with her, but the guy’s in the NFL, so it’s not like he’s hurting for it. He could even have somebody build him a life-like, non-talking version of Kim’s ass out of two beanbag chairs and diamonds for God’s sake. I don’t get it.

Photos: Splash News
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Dita Von Teese for Wonderbra and other news

September 28th, 2009 // 92 Comments
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- Jessica Biel needs to stop losing weight before there’s irreparable ass damage. I’ll notify the UN. [Lainey Gossip]

- Janet Jackson’s bosom: We don’t talk about it enough. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Lindsay Lohan might be on Celebrity Big Brother. Somebody needs to get Spencer Pratt on there then tell Lindsay he’s hiding uncut Colombian snow in his aorta. Or not and kiss an Emmy goodbye. It’s your call. [Celebslam]

- Leonardo DiCaprio carries around dogs now. Why not? [PopSugar]

- Kristin Cavallari deserves more than Lauren Conrad. [JustJared]

- Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married. Whee. [PopEater]

- Jenny Slate won’t get fired from SNL for dropping the F-bomb which was less offensive than Megan Fox’s “acting.” [The Blemish]

- Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson pout about being famous. [Socialite Life]

- Pamela Anderson denies she’s broke which is actually true. Unless her vagina stopped working, then maybe. [Celebitchy]

Photos: Wonderbra
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Fred Durst is divorced already

September 28th, 2009 // 28 Comments

After roughly three months of marriage, Fred Durst announced on his Twitter today that his marriage to Esther Nazarov is over:

For those of you inquiring I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our seperate ways and we both thank you for your support.

So I’m going to go ahead and assume Esther woke up one morning and realized she doesn’t hate her father anymore. In a way, it’s almost like Fred Durst is providing a service to women – once you ignore all the sex he has with them which they’re going to want to repress as soon as possible. That said, I don’t normally advocate the use of heroin, but sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to forget Fred Durst intercoursed you.

Photo: WENN
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