Archive for September, 2009

Madonna eats our lowly mortal food and other news

September 30th, 2009 // 51 Comments
View the Gallery / 8 Photos »

- Dustin Diamond reads an excerpt from his tell-all book involving Mario Lopez’s sexual conquests – with women. Nice try, Screech. [PopEater]

- Jessica Biel really did get dumped by Justin Timberlake: A convincing argument. [Lainey Gossip]

- Denise Richards: I’d still hit it. I don’t care if she talks about Charlie Sheen’s fear of breastfeeding the whole time, I’d do it. That needed to be said. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Katie Holmes should be using this time for something more useful than taking Suri shopping. Like, oh I dunno, fleeing the goddamn country and adopting a new alias. Kids love that shit. [PopSugar]

- Jon Hamm in Muppet form. [Just Jared]

- Jessica Alba finds acting work in the third Fockers movie. — Why did that sentence feel like an oxymoron? [The Blemish]

- Kate Gosselin on slowing down the divorce: “Fuuuuuuuuuuck that.” Okay, maybe not her exact words, but it’s what she was thinking while stuffing her children in brown sacks with dollar signs on them. [Socialite Life]

Photos: Splash News
Posted Under: , , , , , , , ,

Lady GaGa really wants you to look at her crotch

September 30th, 2009 // 114 Comments
View the Gallery / 16 Photos »

Here’s Lady GaGa performing the final show of her tour in D.C. last night, and apparently she wanted the audience to think she was totally free-vag-ing it. This would be kind of cool if I wasn’t afraid the clown from Stephen King’s “It” is going to roll out and shank me which, let’s be realistic, is exactly what would happen.

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News
Posted Under: ,

Khloe Kardashian’s wedding scripted to the last detail

September 30th, 2009 // 62 Comments

While Khloe Kardashian’s hawking the OK! Magazine wedding issue on her blog, TMZ has audio that proves pretty much every single detail of her still-not-legally-binding marriage to Lamar Odom was entirely scripted by the producers of Keeping Up with the Kardashians:

Forget bridesmaids … Khloe Kardashian needed TV producers for her faux wedding. Listen to the walkie-talkie chatter behind the scenes, choreographing Khloe’s every move.
Everything was planned … even the moment when Khloe told Bruce Jenner she considered him her “real dad.”
The production was staged right down to the number of steps Khloe would backpedal before taking the plunge — about 10.

Of course, when using Sasquatch actors it’s best to be fully prepared so you can avoid such unfortunate instances as “Holy shit, it’s eating that baby!” And “Can someone bring me a new plate of chicken? This one has a Sasquatch on it.”

Photo: OK Magazine
Posted Under: , ,

Courtney Love has nipples because God’s a sick bastard and hates your eyes

September 30th, 2009 // 64 Comments
View the Gallery / 12 Photos »

Here’s a clearly bra-less Courtney Love walking around SoHo yesterday, and this is pretty much on par with seeing my grandmother naked. If not worse. There’s no chance of fresh-baked cookies after this one, just tears, hyperventilating and the inability to ever get an erection again. Seriously, I could try to take a Viagra right now and it’d probably jump out of my hand before saying “I quit.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News
Posted Under:

So Freaking Hot: Best of September

September 30th, 2009 // 30 Comments
View the Gallery / 10 Photos »

In case you were in a coma for the entire month of September, here’s a look back at the Top 10 So Freaking Hot posts for the month. Feel free to catch up on what you missed, or relive the memory of getting fired for pretending the fax machine was Blake Lively’s breasts. Wait, I did that. Anyone know when will I stop peeing toner?

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions because I care.

1. Milla Jovovich is totally nude
2. Pink seems like an interesting fellow
3. Olivia Wilde in GQ is just… goddamn
4. Lily Allen is topless again. What are the odds?
5. Audrina Patridge does Maxim
6. Teri Hatcher’s vagina. Maybe
7. Blake Lively has nipples
8. Blake Lively’s cleavage is my new best friend
9. Megan Fox is f-cking batshit in Rolling Stone
10. Victoria Prince in a bikini and K-Fed’s shirtless girth

Posted Under: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake don’t look broken up

September 30th, 2009 // 36 Comments
View the Gallery / 8 Photos »

Reports are coming in that Justin Timberlake kicked Jessica Biel to the curb (Possibly for Rihanna according to Star.), but here’s the two of them together last night after a romantic dinner. Then again, this could just be the always awkward “Please stop nailing dead bats to my door” dinner that inevitably ended in sex because Jessica Biel’s ass was sculpted by cherubs on a magic cloud of assy goodness. It’s in the Bible.

Photos: Splash News
Posted Under: , ,
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next »