Archive for June, 2009

Britney Spears wearing wigs again. Not good.

June 29th, 2009 // 51 Comments
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Apparently wearing a bra is all it took to make Britney Spears feel like a caged beast and activate her crazy switch. Here she is on Sunday wearing a wig, messing with the paps and still sporting a ring on her finger. I don’t think I need to point out the obvious warning signs here, so hopefully the SWAT team’s prepping Frappucinos and tear gas as we speak.

“Y’ALLLLLLLLLLLL”

She’s standing on her hind legs! Retreat! Retreat!

Photos: Fame, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
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Sacha Baron Cohen Understands the Promotional Power of Tanks

June 29th, 2009 // Leave a Comment
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Despite the fact he purposefully wants the promotional appearances of Bruno to be as flamingly homosexual as possible, even Sacha Baron Cohen can’t escape the greatest persuasive tool known to man: The tank. To put things in perspective, I’d actually considering marrying a woman there were promises of a tank at the reception. Of course, I’m only joking. Unless it talks like KITT from Knight Rider. Then you got me.

Bruno in theaters July 10.

- ADVERTISEMENT-


Photos: Splash News
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Lindsay Lohan’s Swimsuit Party

June 28th, 2009 // 168 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 23rd birthday at the Wet Republic pool in Vegas Saturday, and does anyone else find it hilarious they actually bothered to make her a cake? Surprisingly, she ate it which means she’s a fatty now and will never find work again. YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG, LINDSAY! MUAHAHA!

I’m going to hell.

Photos: Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN
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Billy Mays dies at 50

June 28th, 2009 // 95 Comments

TV pitchman Billy Mays was found dead in his Tampa home this morning. Early reports are saying he suffered a head injury during a flight landing yesterday which the FAA is saying was his fault for not wearing a seat belt. TMZ reports:

After the flight, Billy told FOX 13 in Tampa that something struck him in the head — here’s Billy’s actual quote:
“All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping. It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head.”
We called the FAA for comment, and a spokesperson told us, “The passenger needs to wear a seat belt during landing and he didn’t.”

I wasn’t even going to post about this until a surprising amount of e-mails rolled in. Turns out OxiClean is a more prominent thread in our nation’s tapestry than I realiz- Wait. It gets out hooker blood doesn’t it? Now I get it, and 100 gallons, please.

Rest in Peace, Billy.

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Kendra Wilkinson & Hank Baskett wed at Playboy Mansion

June 28th, 2009 // 112 Comments
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Former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett of the Philadelphia Eagles were married Saturday at the Playboy Mansion and, wow, nothing like having a wedding at the same place your future wife played with an old man’s balls for cash. So, was the strip club booked that day? Or would that have been too classy?

Photos: Splash News
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Britney Spears wearing an engagement ring?

June 28th, 2009 // 56 Comments
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Here’s Britney Spears wearing what appears to be an engagement ring while walking around LA Saturday. So someone explain to me how a person who’s been declared mentally unsound by the state can get engaged? Isn’t that kind of like Jason Trawick walked into the psych ward and picked himself out a bride with promises of cake? Also, how’s the wedding night going to work if her dad has to approve every decision?

JASON: *picks up phone* Hello, Jamie? It’s Jason. Listen, we’re at the honeymoon suite. Would you mind if I went ahead and had sex with your daughter now?
JAMIE: Aw, geez, sport, I’d love to say “yes,” but I gotta wait until Monday morning for a judge to give the okay. Just give her a ball of string, and she’ll stay out of your hair.
JASON: I see. Very well then. Thanks, uh, dad?
JAMIE: Whoa, what did I say?
JASON: Not until the check clears.
JAMIE: Good man. You kids have fun!

Photos: Fame, Splash News
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