US Weekly is reporting that Michael Jackson’s dermatologist, and Debbie Rowe’s former boss, Dr. Arnold Klein is allegedly the biological father of Michael Jr. and Paris:

“He is the dad,” says a Jackson insider. “He and Debbie signed an agreement saying they would never reveal the truth.”
Though neither Rowe nor Jackson ever confessed to their kids’ true lineage, she did admit in 2002 that she carried his children as a personal favor (and would not confirm that the marriage was ever consummated).
“I said, ‘Let me do this. You need to be a dad. You have been so good to me,’” Rowe — who met Jackson when she was a nurse’s assistant in the 1980s — has said.

It was revealed earlier today that Debbie Rowe isn’t even the biological mother of the children, and now it turns out Michael technically never adopted the kids. That would just make too much sense. TMZ reports:

We’ve learned Jackson never filed legal papers to adopt any of his children. Legal experts tell us Jackson would be presumed the father but it’s not conclusive by any means.
As for why Jackson didn’t formally adopt — we’re told at the time the kids were born there was no third party whom he believed would try and claim custody. For some reason, Jackson never thought Debbie Rowe would mount a custody challenge.

Jesus. At this point, I think it’s time we all stop bullshitting each other and admit what happened to these kids: Michael Jackson flew into their window with a diamond jetpack and stole them in the dead of night. As for “Blanket,” I’m 90% certain DNA tests will confirm he’s just a really convincing robot.