Archive for May, 2009

Rihanna ordered to testify against Chris Brown

May 28th, 2009 // 37 Comments

Chris Brown’s assault trial is apparently full steam ahead because Rihanna has been ordered to testify against her abusive ex. E! News reports:

The singer’s attorney, Donald Etra, told E! News that Rihanna will be called to testify at the June 22 preliminary hearing in Brown’s felony assault case.
“The judge advised me that there will be a subpoena for Rihanna as a witness at the preliminary hearing,” Etra said following a morning hearing. “She will definitely comply.”
And she will be doing so while facing her alleged attacker.
“He has to be here anytime a witness is called,” Brown’s attorney Mark Geragos said, confirming that the “monster”-denying R&B star will indeed be present to hear the testimony.

Things Chris Brown Should Probably Not Do During Rihanna’s Testimony:

1. Scream “I’ll kill you!”
2. Wave his fist at her. Then the jurors.
3. Dance for the judge. (That’ll be a tough one.)
4. Hug O.J.

Photos: Splash News

Paris Hilton shits on The Hills

May 28th, 2009 // 40 Comments

Paris Hilton took a lanky swipe at Doug Reinhardt’s old show The Hills last night, according to Us Magazine:

“The show is, like, so lame and fake. He doesn’t even want to be a part of it,” Hilton told Usmagazine.com Wednesday at the Fifi Awards in NYC.
Lauren Conrad famously dumped Reinhardt on the show. Brody Jenner later accused Reinhardt of going behind Conrad’s back by pursuing Stephanie Pratt.
But Hilton told Us the show portrayed Reinhardt “in a way he’s not.”
“They make up relationships when they’re not there, and he just thinks it’s lame,” she said. “I’ve never seen the show in my life. I have no idea what it’s about. But he just thought it was cheesy.”

What Doug doesn’t find “cheesy” is being hired as the producer of My BFF Dubai. Because Paris Hilton searching for a fake brown friend to add to her collection is way classier than The Hills. — Actually, I’m not being sarcastic. It is.

Photos: WENN

Lady GaGa is bisexual, too. Of course.

May 28th, 2009 // 92 Comments

I expected some originality from Lady GaGa, but in her interview with Rolling Stone she plays the tired bisexual card that seems to be the soup du jour of every female celeb lately. But at least this anecdote includes tons of blow and Marilyn Manson trying to get laid:

Lady Gaga’s devotion to being a star drove her to order bags of cocaine and spend hours perfecting her hair and makeup in a tiny Lower East Side apartment after she dropped out of NYU several years ago — well before she was actually famous. “It was quite sick,” she admits. “I suppose that’s where the vanity of the album came from.” Her debut, The Fame, was almost entirely inspired by her relationship with a heavy-metal drummer named Luke, and their breakup profoundly changed Gaga. She tells Hiatt she’s bisexual, but her attraction to women is purely physical. It’s an aspect of her sexuality that makes boyfriends “uncomfortable,” she says.
Her sexuality proclivities don’t seem to offend Marilyn Manson, however, who lobbed a series of awful pickup lines at his new friend at our cover shoot (grab the issue to hear his worst). “She knows exactly what she’s doing,” he tells RS. “She’s very smart, she’s not selling out, she’s a great musician, she’s a great singer, and she’s laughing when she’s doing it, the same way that I am.”

Oh, that’s nice. She’s uncomfortable with men as it is and fucking Marilyn Manson tries to pick her up. Jesus. I’m amazed this interview didn’t end with Lady GaGa marrying Anne Heche and watching The L Word. On a golf course.

Madonna nude painting is… I don’t even know

May 28th, 2009 // 62 Comments

Here’s a nude portrait of Madonna and Guy Ritchie painted in 2005 that goes up for auction on Saturday in Scotland. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume the artist is blind, so no one had the heart to tell him: A.) He was supposed to paint Madonna not Britney Spears. And B.) Guy Ritchie isn’t a 1920s caricature of a black man trying to steal “the white womens.” Stop me if I’m getting warm.

NOTE: Pic links to NSFW version, so don’t get fired looking at cartoon nips.

Jon Gosselin caught drinking with other women

May 28th, 2009 // 77 Comments

Jon Gosselin was caught flirting at a New York bar and grill on Memorial Day while Kate and the kids were in North Carolina, according to TMZ. Great. Now there’s going to be another “Extra Special Episode” where Jon explains why he’s drinking with strange women again. Let’s just cut to the one where he rationalizes his children finding a dead hooker in the sandbox. You know it’s coming.

Photos: Splash News, TMZ

Chris Brown sued for assault – by an idiot

May 28th, 2009 // 28 Comments

Chris Brown and LA Fitness are being sued by paparazzo Robert Rosen who tried to get a picture of Chris at the gym just days after the Rihanna incident. Robert instead got his ass handed to him by Chris’ bodyguard and is suing for personal injury, according to People:

Rosen claims he was chased by the bodyguard, who yelled at him after taking the picture while Brown was playing basketball, and attempted to run away, but an employee of L.A. Fitness Club allegedly “tried to block [Rosen's] exit and grabbed his clothing and body.”
Rosen broke free but then fell down a flight of stairs, the lawsuit says. The bodyguard then allegedly “picked [Rosen] up by his shorts, and physically assaulted him,” according to the lawsuit. Rosen adds he was “severely injured and disabled, both internally and externally,” claims he was falsely imprisoned, and is seeking damages covering his medical bills and emotional distress.
Rosen, who’s also suing the fitness club for negligence and other claims, argues its employees did not adequately protect him.

Okay, sounds believable. Except if you watch the video above taken immediately after the “attack,” Robert claims full responsibility for his broken leg, calls Chris Brown “a good guy” and says the bodyguard was just doing his job. If I was Robert’s lawyer and saw this for the first time today, I’m pretty sure I’d have legal grounds to kick my client in the nuts. Or at least give him an Indian burn.