Archive for May, 2009

Brooke Hogan’s mom is a piece of work

May 29th, 2009 // 67 Comments
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Brooke Hogan has apparently been accusing her mom of drug use which caused Linda to make a statement that pretty much proves she’s high as shit. OK! Magazine reports:

Linda then responded by saying her daughter had breast implants, among other things, in a letter to Perez Hilton.
“[If] Brooke continues to spew lies on behalf of her father’s lame attempt to distance himself from the reality that he is no different from the homicidal OJ Simpson, [Charley Hill] will be forced to put aside his paramedic/firefighting career path and release an album called ‘Redemption’ which will easily surpass any of Brooke’s records sales.”

So, let me get this straight, Brooke is being threatened by the secret musical awesomeness of her mother’s 19-year-old boyfriend who will be forced to stop saving lives in order to teach Brooke a lesson via superior record sales? — Nope. No signs of drug abuse here.

Photos: Flynet
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Adam Lambert’s gayness is news

May 29th, 2009 // 62 Comments
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Apparently there’s been some confusion over whether Adam Lambert is gay or not (Wow. Seriously?), so American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi took it upon herself to set the record straight on The View, according to Us Magazine:

“I don’t think that Adam was ever in [the closet],” she says in a taped interview airing Friday on ABC’s The View. “I think he was always openly out.”
Walters then asked again if Lambert — who has never publicly said he’s gay — “was always openly out.”
“I think he was,” DioGuardi replies. “I mean, from what I’ve seen … I do. I never thought he wasn’t.”
Asked by Barbara Walters whether Lambert’s perceived sexuality may have influenced Idol voters, DioGuardi says, “Well, first of all, I hope not … because we should be judging on talent and viability in the music industry and they both [Lambert and winner Kris Allen] had that.”

Wanna know how I knew Adam Lambert is gay? He was on AMERICAN IDOL. And before anyone’s panties get in a bunch, I would’ve thought the same thing if he was a woman, robot or ham sandwich. So relax.

Photos: Splash News
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Megan Fox on Wonder Woman: ‘Do not want.’

May 28th, 2009 // 50 Comments
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- Megan Fox will not be playing Wonder Woman because she’s a “lame superhero.” Somewhere, thousand of fanboys almost stopped masturbating. Almost. [Just Jared]

- Lindsay Lohan tones down the crazy to keep the acting gig she only landed because Katie Holmes backed out. And by backed out I mean Tom Cruise activated her collar and demanded a Xenu Sandwich. [Lainey Gossip]

- Michael Lohan denies threatening to kill his fiancee and says he must be innocent because now she wants the charges dropped. The only thing I believe about that excuse is Michael Lohan is dumb enough to think it would work. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Katherine Heigl’s demands a larger salary than Julia Roberts for an ensemble role only to get the boot from producers. Somehow this will be Judd Apatow’s fault. Or the writers of Grey’s Anatomy. Either one. [Celebslam]

- Gisele Bundchen is NOT pregnant. She’s currently satisfied with the child Bridget Moynahan birthed that Gisele tells everybody is her’s. That’s how you protect a vagina, ladies. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Photos: Pacific Coast News
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Shauna Sand keeps wearing bikinis

May 28th, 2009 // 80 Comments
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I don’t really know why I keep posting pics of Shauna Sand. I mean, her only claim to fame is being married to Lorenzo Lamas who hasn’t been relevant since 1996. But then again, she’s wearing a bikini. God, my life is hard.

Photos: Mavrix
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Robert Pattinson shirtless-ness continues

May 28th, 2009 // 121 Comments
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Here’s some more pics from the set of New Moon in Italy because I know how you ladies like seeing Robert Pattinson unencumbered by a shirt. You may now begin fantasizing about him being so sensitive he’ll take you to Olive Garden without expectations of a handjob on the ride home. Ha! Science fiction is craaazy.

Photos: Splash News
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Britney Spears in ‘The Grossest Story Ever Told’

May 28th, 2009 // 99 Comments

I’ve heard a lot of Britney Spears stories in my day, but this is the first one that made me want to immediately die afterward. Page Six reports:

The pop tart took time off from her “Circus” tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster. “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes — and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”

The scariest part of this article? Britney’s menstrual cycle suggests she’s still able to bear children. — Mommy!

NOTE: Please feel free to correct me on that assumption in the comments, but keep in mind I have a penis and therefore secretly think vaginas can talk.

Photo: Mavrix
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