Archive for January, 2009

Jessica Simpson shows her face in public

January 29th, 2009 // 99 Comments

Jessica Simpson, perhaps you’ve heard her name in passing this week, was spotted arriving in Charlottesville, Va. last night where the paparazzi told her she looked gorgeous earning them a smile. I gotta hand it to Jessica Simpson. Most celebs *cough Lindsay cough* would’ve gone crying to their blogs if they were in her shoes. I mean, sure, Jessica can’t read or write, but why would you even bring that up? Seriously, not cool.

Photos: Splash News

Britney Spears has definitely worked those Frappucinos off

January 29th, 2009 // 57 Comments

Britney Spears posted more rehearsal pics on her website, and apparently she workouts in a bikini top. While typically my reaction would be “Britney? Bikini? Take me, sweet death!“, she actually looks insanely good for someone who spent a good chunk of 2008 keeping Taco Bell in business. Wait a minute, didn’t the economy start collapsing once Britney dropped the weight? Get me Washington!

Kim Kardashian defends Jessica Simpson

January 28th, 2009 // 97 Comments

Seen here in, admittedly, the best shape I’ve ever seen her in, Kim Kardashian is the latest celebrity to defend Jessica Simpson whose startling plumpness has become our nation’s greatest crisis. Not counting that war and the stuff with the money. In a move that just sent Jessica teetering off the edge to depression, Kim gave an interview for People which they described as “one curvy girl to another”:

“I actually love the outfit. I think she looks amazing. I love high-waisted jeans, I loved that belt, and her hair looked fabulous.”
Adds Kardashian, who’s attending the Super Bowl this weekend with football player beau Reggie Bush of the New Orleans Saints, “I get that she does look curvier, but to me, there’s nothing wrong it.”
No stranger herself to barbs about her own curvy physique, Kardashian says, “It doesn’t really bother me anymore. I love curves. Being super skinny just isn’t attractive to me. When I saw that picture, I knew everyone was going to say something. And I thought, ‘You know what? Leave Jessica alone!’ She’s fabulous, she’s a really sweet girl, and I admire her for putting up with it.”

PEOPLE EDITOR #1: Quick, who’s a celeb that will basically let us call her fat just by asking her opinion on Jessica Simpson in exchange for free publicity?
EDITOR #2: Kim Kardashian.
EDITOR #1: Oh, good call.

Photos: WENN

Paris Hilton makes getting drunk look classy. But not really.

January 28th, 2009 // 67 Comments

Paris Hilton got plastered last night in London while she’s in town promoting the British edition of My New BFF. She also made probably the most sensual face I’ve seen in my life. I’m actually contemplating a lifetime of itchiness over here.

In the meantime, I may have added some captions to a couple of these photos just like I’ve been secretly doing to previous posts, but who’s to say? Hint hint nudge nudge.

Photos: WENN

Joaquin Phoenix not crazy or good at keeping secrets

January 28th, 2009 // 34 Comments

So Joaquin Phoenix might not be one voice inside his head away from crapping on the red carpet at the Oscars. Damn. Turns out his “rap career” could just be an elaborate ruse he cooked up with Casey Affleck, according to Entertainment Weekly:

Either Phoenix is perpetrating an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax (with an assist from his friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck, who’s ostensibly shooting a documentary about his career transition), or he’s truly lost his marbles. The truth, it seems, is closer to the former. “He said, ‘It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,’” says one source who recently worked with Phoenix.

Before everyone says “I told you so,” I should probably point out that was an overheard conversation between Joaquin and a banana. They were married later that night and divorced/turned into a smoothie the next morning when Joaquin realized it was the government trying to steal his toothpaste. Love is a cruel mistress.

Photos: WENN

Hayden Panettiere wears a thong

January 28th, 2009 // 51 Comments

Here’s Hayden Panettiere on the set of Heroes yesterday showing her thong while riding the back of Adrian Pasdar. Six months ago this would’ve seemed like the second coming of Christ to me, but now? Nothin’. Actually, let’s not even go there. There’s still an empty hole in my heart that burns each day. God, I’m so sensitive. Like Shakespeare but less queer and shit.