Archive for January, 2009

Orlando Bloom is expanding his range

January 31st, 2009 // 84 Comments
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Here are some shots of Orlando Bloom sporting tattoos all over his body and walking around topless in leather pants. And yeah, sure, I guess I could mention he’s on the set of some movie, but then you probably wouldn’t believe me when I tell you this is how he spends all his Fridays. Because this is how Orlando Bloom spends all his Fridays. Topless. In leather pants. Now where’s my Pulitzer?

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News
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Britney Spears’ dad slaps Adnan Ghalib, Sam Lutfi with restraining orders

January 30th, 2009 // 38 Comments
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Jamie Spears has obtained a temporary restraining order against Sam Lutfi, Adnan Ghalib and John Eardley, an attorney who, a year ago, attempted to challenge Britney Spears’ conservatorship without having any legal grounds to do so. The three have been conspiring together to make a new run at the conservatorship, so Sam and Adnan can get their collective douchebeards on her money and toned sober ass. TMZ reports:

Sam allegedly was calling lawyers saying that Britney wanted to hire her own lawyer, presumably to fight the conservatorship. Sources tell TMZ that is definitely not what Britney wanted.
Under the TRO, Lutfi, Ghalib and Eardley must stay 250 yards away from Britney, her parents and her kids. The TRO also prohibits the trio from “acting on Ms. Spears’ behalf…inducing or assisting another person to file legal pleadings” on her behalf.
Interesting fun fact: In the petition for the TRO, it says Brit has been communicating with Adnan and that “Ms. Spears innocently informs Mr. Ghalib of her destinations and that he then arranges for paparazzi to meet and film her to his financial benefit.”

If there’s anyone out there who thinks Britney should be left to her own devices, just scope out the pics I’ve included which are surprisingly not from Predator 3: Give Me Chalupas or Give Me Death. I’m not saying she was completely crazy back then, but I’ve seen crackheads at the bus station I’d leave a child alone with first.

Photos: WENN
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Kim Kardashian milks Jessica Simpson for more free press

January 30th, 2009 // 121 Comments
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Kim Kardashian continues her defense of Jessica Simpson, but this time taking it to a venue that’s pretty much the mecca of insight and empowerment. Ha, just kidding. She wrote on her blog:

I was doing Super Bowl interviews for my Leather & Laces party I’m hosting down here in Tampa, Florida, and EVERYONE seems to be asking me about Jessica Simpson’s alleged weight gain.
I think it’s absolutely ridiculous!!! She is not fat at all and I am actually offended that people are giving her such a hard time over this! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
First of all, her outfit was FABULOUS! I loved that Fendi leopard belt with those high waisted jeans!
She is so drop dead gorgeous and the fact that the media is sending this message out to young girls is mind blowing!
I am probably twice Jessica’s size, so what do you guys think of me then???

Folks, never ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to. Because chances are it’ll have something to do with you only being famous for hanging out with Paris Hilton before hawking your own sex tape which garnered you just enough spotlight to exploit your bulbous ass that by all laws of physics should have its own orbit, moon and why the hell not? An Arby’s.

Words to live by.

Photos: Splash News
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Jessica Alba gets greatest massage of her life

January 30th, 2009 // 45 Comments
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Here’s Jessica Alba getting what has to be the best massage ever at a nail salon in Beverly Hills yesterday. She’s enjoying the hell out of it, trust me. I’ve seen that look before on a woman. It cost me extra I made it happen all by myself.

Photos: Fame, Pacific Coast News
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Elisha Cuthbert uses body doubles

January 30th, 2009 // 44 Comments
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Sad news, everybody. Elisha Cuthbert uses body doubles for her nude scenes. Although, I shouldn’t judge, I use one in the bedroom. (Ladies?) Seen here posing for the latest issue of Complex, Elisha talks about picking out naked chicks that best exemplify her body of work:

You don’t do nudity but instead employ body doubles. What’s the process in selecting someone?
Elisha Cuthbert: I’ve only had to do it twice. To be honest, it was really quick and pretty basic. I saw three girls and chose one out of the three. It wasn’t a long, drawn-out process. It’s not looking for someone [with] the perfect breasts. Nothing to do with that, really. I think it’s trying to find someone that looks natural, someone that looks good.
You mean someone who acts natural in front of a camera or someone, y’know, natural?
Elisha Cuthbert: You never see their face, right?

Anyone else imagining Elisha Cuthbert examining three topless girls’ breasts? Uh, yeah, me neither. I was just sitting here thinking about how much I love to marry and respect women first before getting intimate. Which, obviously, explains why I have no pants on. A ha ha ha don’t look at me.

Thanks to Joe who once doubled for Hugh Jackman – until the cops showed up.

Photos: Complex
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Michael Lohan wants YOU to break up Sam & Lindsay

January 30th, 2009 // 79 Comments
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Michael, I’m sorry MIKE Lohan is lamenting the reunion of Lindsay and Samantha Ronson. In a desperate cry for help/attention, he recently took to his blog to call Samantha a gold-digging lesbian who’s ruining Lindsay’s acting career. Enjoy some crazy:

Like I said in the past, “if I see or hear of anyone or anything causing harm or is seen as a threat to my children,” I will speak about it, and do anything I can to try to intervene regardless of the repercussions on me.
With that said, after seeing promise and thanking God for Lindsay’s freedom from SaMANtha’s bondage, I see now, that since SaMANtha has once again, weaseled her way back into Lindsay”s life, things have taken a dark turn.
While I was enthused that Ali was with Lindsay, rather than SaMANtha, I am torn to see that SaMANtha has once again manipulated Lindsay into leaving her little sister in LA, only to join SaMANtha on another DJ gig in Boston.
Was this again, a means for SaMANtha to earn more money through Lindsay”s presence? Did SaMANtha’s fee drop so much and so quickly when word got out that they parted ways? Are we so blind? Is Lindsay so blind? I know Dina and my kids aren’t because they tell me so. But then again, why does Dina tell me one thing and do another?!
When a mother or father sees their child in turmoil (losing weight, not working, and purportedly cutting herself) are we supposed to stand by , remain silent and pretend it isn’t happening? Or are we suppose to step to the plate and not care what people think, and do something about it?
Well, as you can see, I’m not going to sit back and let it slide.
I am asking everyone out their to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay, and quite possibly, save her life. Help this wonderful, good hearted and gifted young lady to see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life.
Help her to see that ever since SaMANtha came into her life, nothing good has come of it. As a matter of fact, Lindsay hasn’t used her gifts like she did before meeting SaMANtha.
Just LOOK! The proof is there! These aren’t just words, but FACTS! PLEASE HELP!

I think he’s trying to say Samantha Ronson is a man. I dunno, it’s hard to tell underneath all that subtlety.

Photos: Splash News, WENN
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