2007 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

February 15th, 2007 // 75 Comments
marisa-miller-ipod-bikini.jpg

Need something to do for the next eleven hours? I’m pretty sure this should cover it.


  1. Lowlands

    I owe you one.

  2. woodhorse

    This probably makes up for any mistakes Sports Illustrated has made in the past.

  3. Prazzie

    Where’s Britney looking haggard? Where’s Lindsay stumbling out of rehab? Why are there hot models all over my self-confidence booster site? *sniffles*

  4. sid

    Oh yeah…that covers it, all right.

    I’m gonna go get my ipod and download some really long podcasts about politics.

  5. crazyotto

    Now thats cover material,not that over rated tenament howler Beyonce

  6. ImaCracka

    She is never going to get the smell out of that Ipod!!!!!

  7. Cabaret

    Looks like paris hilton except you know with boobs..

  8. Even the Port’s gonna sprout a little wood over this one, very, very, very little wood.

    Wait for the incredible claims of horse-like sexual scale and prowess, …

  9. BritishBitch

    Agree with Prazzie, my self esteem took a battering looking at this. There had better be some fat, haggard whorish celebs further down today’s posting or I will be filled with even more self loathing than usual

  10. Niecy

    Hey, that will be great for Apple’s new iPod campaign.

    iPods. Great for listening to all your favorite music AND keeping your privates warm.

  11. WiseMan

    You people need to see what all those whores look like without all the airbrushing and make-up/shit on the face. They most likely look like used & abused sluts who have been spunked on too much.

  12. bush twins

    nice iPoon

  13. Joe

    OMG< There is a heaven after all!

  14. This was far to much false advertising. Most of those models had far to much swim suit and far to little ipod.

  15. jrzmommy

    Her tits look like they’re about to choke her for her ipod.

  16. jesseeca

    where’d her swimsuit go?

  17. BarbadoSlim

    I was enjoying this, greatly and then Beyonce had to fuck it all up. bleh

  18. NicotineEyePatch

    I think eleven minutes is enough time to bang out at least two or three loads. But what about the other ten hours and forty-nine minutes? No sandwich takes that long.

  19. kmddmk

    AWESOME! They’ve finally invented invisible swimsuits! Nice one, “Sports” illustrated :)

  20. Awesome stuff.

  21. hamacus

    Dude! You now know I will get NO work done today because of you! Good looking out!

  22. hamacus

    #11…and the downside is?

  23. GooniesNeverSayDie

    Is that a 20G or a 60G ipod?

  24. RichPort

    Slim, I have to respectfully disagree. Beyonce is unfairly attractive. I didn’t even look at the other chicks. Too bad she likes camels.

  25. Binky

    I feel kinda dumb wearing these 3D glasses, but women have told me they make me look like a scientist ;-)

  26. LL

    Why is there an iPod on her bajingo? And where is her swimsuit? I thought this was a “swimsuit issue.” With no swimsuit, it’s more like the “naked issue.” No problem, I guess, but let’s have some truth in advertising.

    BTW, could we have some decent pictures of men on this site some time? I know The Superficial is all about the ladies, but I think he/they should be secure enough in his/their masculinity to give the ladies and the homos something to look at. Just a suggestion. Nudity is for everybody.

  27. BritishBitch

    Good point 26# .. bring on the men!

  28. misanthrope

    I’m a gal… and a straight one at that, but I have to say she accessorizes well.

  29. misanthrope

    I agree with bringing on the men… and the good looking ones, please?!?! (I think that needs to be clarified.)

  30. Italian Stallion

    I’d like to bust a nut in her Ipod………

  31. shameshame

    has anyone even looked at those models?
    jesus it’s so fucking downhill!
    totally average, all of them and marissa miller is pretty much the only one with the killer body. so sad..so true. i’m not going to buy it.

  32. Man0lo

    where’s the ipod shuffle when we need it?

  33. Cat Fryer

    Killer body? Are you fucking kidding me? Anyone who says this haggard, leathery bitch has a killer body has obviously never fucked a woman before.
    Severe case of anorexia? Check
    Leathery, sun-fucked face? Check
    Ugly, horrible tit job? Check

  34. cardio

    That cord running around and through her tits looks like the pearl necklace I need to give her.

  35. Prazzie

    Remember, girls asking for more nekkid men…we got Harry Potter the other day.

  36. GooniesNeverSayDie

    #26 There is actually a very specific reason that there are not many pics of men on this site.

    Two words: Cisco Adler

  37. cardio

    Or if I can’t give her a pearl necklace, perhaps a Cincinnati bowtie.

  38. Charm

    #26, agreed!
    I believe the last nude pic of a guy on here was mischa(sp?) barton’s bf. enough said.

  39. shameshame

    yeah..now that i took a closer look at her..they’re all pretty gross looking.
    11 hours i spent a whole 11 seconds looking at that page.

  40. Michael1

    Look in some Shape magazines from like mid 90′s. marissa miller first showed up in those, all flat chested and freckly. Then she got DD implants and a permatan and is almost unrecodnizable as her “former” self.

  41. Cindy

    Don’t ask for pictures of naked men! Women’s bodies are beautiful, men’s are disgusting. Nobody wants to see them naked in full lighting. At home, in the bedroom, with the right lighting, the right mood, they’re ok. But otherwise, bleech.

  42. whitegold

    Damn!!! And to all those people that were trying to say Beyonce deserved to be on the cover cuz actual models bodies aren’t hot, umm, yeah, I think this picture helps end that debate…Beyonce who?

  43. ponk

    driver side and passenger side airbags fully deployed. Volvo has her tagged for their next ad campaign. FUCK that’s a lot of silicone.

  44. bigponie

    what the fuck, couldn’t they have used a nano instead.

  45. meee

    am i the only person who thinks having uncomfortable gritty sand stuck all over your body in a weird smeared pattern is NOT attractive?

  46. bedbugsandballyhoo

    There is only one thing I do not understand; why do they even bother using real people for American photo shoots anymore? They should simply computer generate one orange-glo image with an emaciated body, huge tits, huge lips, fake hair, and tons of pancake make-up, and a “I want to get banged and suck dick 24/7″ expression on their face. It seems the more fake a woman is, the more attractive she is considered. I can’t seem to get my head around that one…

  47. Lowlands

    Could i borrow your iPod for a while…?Please.

  48. RichPort

    She must be lip synching.

  49. misanthrope

    @48… Ha! I don’t know which RichPort you are, but *that* was funny.

  50. LL

    I did specify decent pictures of men (“decent” meaning attractive), I was assuming everyone knew that meant no more like that heinous Cisco “My Genitals Are Deformed” Adler picture (in fact, I think Superficial owes us just for that one). I didn’t mind Harry Potter naked. A little on the scrawny side, but other than that, not that bad. I disagree that naked men are disgusting; sometimes, they are very, very awesome.

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