79th Annual Academy Awards

February 26th, 2007 // 124 Comments
superficial

  1. SoupaSarah

    First??

  2. queenbuzz

    Second? and my first comment.

  3. fritobandito

    wow, how did J-Lo get Skeletor to attend with her? That is seriously one ugly MoFo

  4. queenbuzz

    and now for my real thoughts…someone needs to tell Jennifer Hudson that Reynold’s wrap is soooo last year.

    Somewhere in a small town…a bakery is missing that confection Zhang Ziyi is wearing.

    Nicole Kidman proves why looking good is the best revenge. Reese Witherspoon…doesn’t.

  5. fritobandito

    OMG!! Look at the guy behind Penelope Cruz in the 3rd Pic. Who said Mullets were dead? Yeah! Go Joe Dirt!!

  6. chris2

    Fuck the academy awards. And Jennifer Hudson is a cow.

  7. queenbuzz

    There’s Anne Hathaway looking bow-dacious.

    Penelope Cruz is being attacked by a large blanket!!!

  8. BritishBitch

    Anne Hathaway – is that half a waiters waistcoat you’ve strapped to your dress?

    Cameron Diaz – Did you borrow that dress from a collection of costumes from Star Trek series one?

    These are some boring pics though in general – I look forward to seeing the after party pics where everyone will get really drunk and forget about looking all perfect. I think Nicole Kidman will get wasted and start to table dance and people will throw their drinks at J-Lo and Skeletor for trying to inflict another one of their crappy spanish love songs on the other celebs. Oh, and there will def be a bitch fight between Cameron and Scarlett in the ladies toilets..my money’s on Cameron

  9. damon2020

    WTF is up with Jennifer Hudson’s luttle pimp jacket? Her dress was ok, but that jacket is off the chain and in a bad way.

    And Cameron Diaz should really just go away. She’s not pretty and the sound of her voice makes me cringe.

  10. Sheva

    Hmmm, skipped the boring awards but did watch the Departed on the big movie screen in HD-DVD this weekend.
    It’s not so fomulaic like most screenplays and riveting.

    Penelope still looking like she has some sizzle, Hathaway looking healthy and no longer appearing as the daughter of The Joker from Batman’s original series.

    The Chinese girl is cute, but have no idea who she is.

    JLo appears with her grandchildren at the event. Worst puffy “Am I or am I not pregnant” dress.

  11. woodhorse

    this isn’t “holding me over” – much better was FameIsFunny’s TRIBUTE which had me laughing and wishing I could think of a snappy come-back – if only I were clever like Wally who maybe should be called “Shock and Awe” but George W. already took that one.

  12. Carrie in Key West

    I have seen a lot of lame on the internet over the years, but these people being proud of getting first post? WOW. “Get a life” has never been more appropiate!!!!

  13. Celetina

    Who can say these are boring pictures? Nicole Kidman has been replaced with an artificial mask; Kate Winslet has had sex reassignment surgery; Cameron Diaz showed up in stylized toilet paper; Reese Witherspoon’s chin has morphed into a sentient evil being hellbent on world domination; Zhang Ziyi apparently misunderstood somebody’s explanation of a “tart”; and Naomi Watts is channeling Charlie Brown. That’s not boring, that’ freakin’ awesome.

  14. woodhorse

    Jennifer Lopez looks like she’s wearing a maternity dress,(this is an improvement over the two titty straps she wore a few years back), Zhang Zihi is wearing a birthday cake and Cate Blanchett is encased in steel. Reese Witherspoon’s and Penelope Cruz’ dresses are passable.

  15. woodhorse

    I’m going to withdraw my vote on Penelope Cruz’ dress. Too many swans had to die to make that dress.

  16. velveethra

    Penelope Cruz looks like she’s swathed in Muppet puke. Terrible.

  17. Jenster

    Zang Ziyi or how ever you spell it looks like a little cupcake. Ironicaly she looks like she’s never had a cupcake in her entire life.

  18. leezastudio

    Cameron’s hair looks like ther’s all kinds of glue in it.

  19. Defcon

    The dresses sucked this year.
    That’s the best part too. So all in all it was boring plus did J-Lo bring her unread husband? Shit I didn’t even notice.

  20. leezastudio

    and anne hathaway, wtf, are you kidding me? a huge bowtie on your tits or some kind of wings or something? did she put that on and looked in the mirror and said “this is perfect” i hate her even more now. pay your stylist bitch!

  21. RichPort

    What??? No pics of the nominees for Best Sound Editting or Best Costume Design???

    Worst. Recap. Ever.

    For Jennifer Hudson, one word: Salad.
    Okay fine, two words: Titty Fuck.

  22. Captain Walleye

    Someone should do a photoshop morph of Kidman’s eyes (with the evil eyebrows) and Cameron’s Joker mouth. That would be one mean looking bitch!

  23. julema

    Boring, boring, boring dresses!!!!!
    I think that the best dresses woman of the night is a 60 years old actress: helen MIrren!!! I never tough that i ll say that!!!!!

  24. NipsyHustle

    marc anthony must be an award winning fuck because he is really busted in the face. or maybe he’s the only person on the planet who can put up with that taco diva.

  25. biatcho

    Ellen DeGeneres was definitely the best dressed man last night, aside from Alan Arkin & Kate Winslet.

  26. snot_rocket

    eww JLo has a huge zit on her forehead and you can see all the red bumps and irritation at her armpit where stupid-ass celebs like her injects large amounts of botox so they won’t sweat.

    Cameron looks high and clown-faced as usual.
    Nicole can’t move her face or her skin will come off. and I just want to grab gwenyth by her hair and throw her back across the pond.

    reese and penelope look awesome though

  27. Wow Just Wow

    Giant Galactic Congatulations to Jennifer Hudson!

    She blew that boring slice of talentless cardboard, Beyonce off the stage.

  28. biatcho

    I secretly hope that Cameron Diaz & Jessica Biel beat the crap out of each other at an after-party. They’re both equally annoying & mannish. I am not sure when or why D-List celebrities were given permission present at the awards but such is the state of Hollywood these days.

  29. Diaz’s ass looks fantastic. Something thick and 8 inches should be in that now!

  30. fearsarewishes

    Hold on. Some women wore dresses somewhere? Really! Oh please, do go on!!

  31. jpjrocks

    Ok i found my jerk of material today, Cameron Diazes ass, dude that thing is mind blowing

  32. chiris

    I think Reese is the best dressed of them

  33. llllllllll

    What is the big deal with big ol’ Missy Elliot lookin Jennifer Hudson? She looked like a big turd wrapped in aluminum foil.

  34. jrzmommy

    The sight of Gwenyth the Fishstick causes me to have violent outbursts……like a filth-ridden Tourettes outburst gets together with a homocidal steroidal rage……

  35. Mylene

    JPo had that big old jaw/chin shaved and bought some cheekbones along with her Churchlady wig, and nice job hiding the trunk treasure.

  36. jrzmommy

    And why does JLo look like she’s a 55 year old housekeeper?

  37. RichPort

    #25 – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  38. TaiTai

    Remember a few years ago before anybody had ever heard of her, and JLo showed up at the Oscars in that green dress with the neckline that came below her navel? Just look at her now: “Honey, does this dress make me look fat?” Um, yes. But at least you don’t have a giant bow on your shoulder. Or your chest. Or your ass.

  39. cayana

    Gwyneth Paltrow has some serious hair static problems going on..

    ==:-o

  40. Do Freebird

    1. I think that it’s truly inspring that you can look like a grotesque pasty skinned troll and still marry a babe.

    2. Why is it that Marc Anthony is always trying to hump some body part of Jennifer Lopez.

    3. I always had the hots for Nicole Kidman. But her face is so full of botox that it looks like it’s been embalmed. There’s really nothing wrong with being a babe with some wrinkles on your forehead.

    4. This is the Oscars dammit!!!! Where are the idiot looking “designer” gowns, the see-through tops, the nameless bimbo starlets with their Big Gigantic Silicon sacked ta-tas hanging out?

    Where’s Brittney when you need her?

  41. cayana

    Dang so does Nicole Kidman.. AHH Bride of Frankenstein!

    These people can spend thousands of dollars on expensive dresses, jewelry, and whatnot, and they can’t buy themselves a decent hairspray that doesn’t make their hair stand straight up?

  42. RichPort

    If my housekeeper looked like JHo, I’d be dirtying shit all the fucking time. I’d walk around with a bag of potting soil and a spray bottle. And I’d throw lots of shit under the couch. To protect myself against her emaciated husband, I’d just throw a syringe, spoon, rubber tubing, and bag of smack in the opposite direction. Or I’d point a huge fan in his direction and wax the floors. As you can see, I’ve thought of everything.

  43. jrzmommy

    That jacket thing on Jennifer Hudson looks like she outgrew it about 10 sizes ago. Not the look for a chubby. Thank God she won the Best Supporting Actress…..now her career is over and we can be done with her.

  44. llllllllll

    Nicole Kidman has always reminded me of the rodent family…a white rat with pink eyes..does everybody else see it?

  45. RichPort

    This is the first time Jennifer Hudson’s worn jewelry that didn’t come out of a candy machine. Good thing too, she might have eaten it.

  46. jrzmommy

    And you KNOW Ellen DeGeneres was getting piiiiissssed that Melissa Ethridge was cutting in on her Alpha Dyke role of the night.

  47. biatcho

    I hear Nicole Kidman is prepping for the role of a lifetime as Bill Laimbeer in the story of the Detrot Pistons. Thankfully they won’t need to use any outlandish makeup or props for the “face mask” years he went through towards the end of his career.

  48. thestraightshooter

    Reese Witherspoon…no one else matters. She’s had 76 kids and still manages to look gorgeous. Cameron Diaz is childless and looks like Mike Piazza’s catcher’s mitt.

    I wonder how may times Ryan Phillippe has cum on the panties he stole from her drawer?
    Nice job loser, next time you’re saddled with perfection, sit there quietly with your hands folded.

    As for the others, Jennifer Hudson looks like she ate the other Dreamgirls. I guess her next gig will be signing up with Jenny craig, doing speed and appearing on Oprah looking svelte from the neck up.

    Kirsten Dunst should disguise her see through meth teeth a little better.

    I’m pretty sure my neighbor’s house fell into Cameron Diaz’s mouth last week.

    J’Lo is going for the Lena Horne look. Too bad it’s the 90 year old version of Lena Horne.

    I can practically hear the bone cracking from these skeletons. It must have sounded like the red carpet was made of bubble wrap as these anorexics, bolemics and orange juice and cotton ball addicts clacked into the building.

    Once again, Reese Witherspoon, no one else matters.

  49. Proteon

    Only on this site would last nights academy awards show where Martin Scorcese finally won an award for his deserved work behind the cameras for The Departed be imortalized by Beyonce and fucking J-LO.

    Wasn’t Paris Hilton anywhere near this? What fucking slackers you folks are.

  50. Stink

    #3 looks like J-Lo could be pregnant too. I’m sure the baby will be as healthy and cute as the hybrid from Alien Resurrection.

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