Jun 6 2007Jessica Simpson and John Mayer break up for good

Frist!

Well fuckin maybe I can have a chance now. If I don't fuckin cum on myself before, just thinking of her.

Did he take her dog, too?

4th

Is she wearing a towel?

Also, I'd never break up with Jessica Simpson. She could eat piles of dog shit all day, and step on my balls with stiletto heels on. Shes like the sexiest chick alive and shes loaded. Whoa.

John will rebound just fine, he's got hundred of thousands on women who want to have his babies.
Jessica has....her dad?

they either broke up, or he realized that her time machine to witness other Neanderthals was all a scam.

he probably got a glimpse of what was between her legs in the first picture & took off. who sits like that with just a towel on?

the dog probably ran off too. the smell was too pungent.

They need balloon captions:

Mayer: Jessica, I know we had our thing, but you are dumb as a rock, and your face resembles Fred Flintstone.

Jessica:

Time to sell the sex tapes John. We're waiting.

of* women

and #5. Sexiest chick alive?? Are you mad???
Alessandra Ambrosio takes that spot thanks.

Care...

How does it feel knowing your sister has become hotter than you? That sucks for her.

"Hey, Jessica"

"What"

"I predict that something crazy is going to happen to you today."

"Like what?"

"I am not sure, but it involves a plaid flannel shirt, a small dog, a towel, a bed of lettuce, candles, and a single palm frond. Also, you will be shoeless."

"No way. that will never happen..."

Jess. did he forget to tell you he was GAY!? fag and hag .. happens all the time.

she's a beautiful girl .. but dumber than my left toenail.

mayer just needs to accept the fact he prefers sausage to a taco...

mayer just needs to accept the fact he prefers sausage to a taco...

she looks like the Walmart customer holding up a sign. Who knew Nick Lachey was smart to move on?

Rednecks love that horsey girl.

silly girl

I get where he's coming from... the last time I had to share an ex with her dad was torture. After fucking her for a few months, I was sick of her saying "that's not how daddy does it..."

Jezzica==girl thank God
that zhit iz over.....
U don't need hiz old gray
ballz, I'm gettin sick juzt
thinking about them...
Cheer up and get your shit
together, U don't need a
daddy type to screw.....
therez plenty of other
dickheadz out there..

Whats the point of dating after you've broken up and gotten back together this many times? That would make for a hell of a marriage. Maybe John didnt really end things. theres no telling what he says half the time.

is she wearing a towel?

imran karim

I love how he broke up with her while holding a poodle. How manly of John. He's a beast.

She seems like the kind of chick who probably breaks down into tears at least 3 times a day. No hot amount of hot cans are worth that.

He was waitin' ... waitin' on the girl to change.

Oh snap! He took the dog too.

Bern - crazy DMBS, but the dialog - you sound too much like Mr. Fish. Cut that out.
I HAVE PICS FOR YOUR DBMS - HOW DO I GET THEM TO YOU?!?!?

This one isn't Jessica's fault. John finally realized, after years of begging girls to chafe his anus raw with strapon dildos, that he really loves something: thick ropey salty semen, shooting out of a cock that was just in his ass. The gagging, the tearing of the eyes, the sudden spurting, the hand at the back of his head to force his mouth down juuuuust a little too far...heaven. Just a little piece of snort-glug-yak-glug heaven. The ladies know what I'm talking about.

How on Earth JS continued dating a guy that looks like Edward Scissorhead for this long is beyond me. He is one ugly dude. She must have some real low self esteem, which means many dudes here might actually have a shot with her.

These pics made me feel really really bad for her. Give her a break, John: it's not her fault that she is so dumb. Growing up, her dad probably kept feeding her his cock instead of real food with protein.

seems odd as john is on tour (in idaho on sunday)

He's mad because she's been spending so much time at my house.

Who needs him.

Spit, Spit, Spit!

She should just go out and get another puppy. A Golden Retriever puppy would be the best choice. I love puppies.

Dude, this is old news. Those photos came out sometime last week. You need to get with the program!

You got penisbutter in my chocolate!

i think its great that this ugly big headed freak show of a guy is like "breaking her heart" hahahah poooooor baby, look how serious and intense he is, then a pic of her
sitting all alone, weeping bitterly.

Part of me wants to feel bad for Jessica because she's a human with feelings and everything, but it's just so hard to feel sorry for a person with a lot of money and an easy life whilst so many people in this world have to suffer.

He was saying "Jessica, no matter how hard you try, you will never be as smart as this dog."

40 - Your comment made tears flow on my cheeks, both from laughing so hard and feeling bad for Jessica at the same time...

Yeah, did anyone honestly think they'd last?

John, I'm very upset. I asked my sister and she's really really smart and she said there's no such thing as the "cum fairy." So I'm asking you again: why is there always cum dripping out of your ass when you get home?

PoorJessica...you are a better person than I am. I don't feel sorry for her in the slightest. She looks like Ricky Martin in drag and she's dumber than a box of hair.

#40 - Exceedingly funny!
#30 - it amazing that I can post that much material in less than one minute!
Doesn't it suck Mr Troll, when all of the fucked up effort goes to waste because I posted just before you did.
Take that, thunder.

correction: it's amazing

#3- BWAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHH!!!!!

JESSICA, JESSICA, JESSICA.....SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH NICK. JOHN PLAYED YOU FOR A FOOL. CARMA.......ANYWAY WHO CARES ABOUT HER BRAINLESS ASS.

I would never break up with Jessica Simpson because I would have never allowed myself to be sucked into a relationship with a girl with a negative IQ. If that's picky, then I am proud. I can't stand ugliness or stupidity.

xoxoxo Wally,
whether gallant and slashing
or cold and ripping
I always have to catch my breath

xoxoxo Wally,
whether gallant and slashing
or cold and ripping
I always have to catch my breath

and I thought Typekey was bad, excuse the double post.

Look it is all bullshit John had his hair like that in 2004 I saw him in April and he doesn't even look like that anymore. Besides you can't take trash like her back to CT to meet mom. Get real!!!

haha first thing he said at his concert on saturday june 2nd...
"so whos sleepin' in my tent tonight?!"

Jessica: how come they're called buffalo wings, they can't fly!

Jessica: Why is it called Chicken of the sea, Chickens can't swim!

Hey Jessy Bitch, stick to what you do best--spread your legs for me, nobody takes you seriously as a person and as an actress! Your dumber than my pet rocks. Wait a minute, they might be smarter!

Goes to show you, even if a chick gets DSL plastic surgery, it doesnt make her pro. I like the pictures....wonder how that conversation went:
John: yo jess last nite BJ was pretty bad u used teeth on me again
Jessica: I am sorry john I am still getting use to these lips
John: yah your lips are like getting in way of my music
Jessica: what are u trying to say
John: no more bad BJ and no more J.S.....is your sister available?

Isn't he doing that dude from Maroon 5 now?

Finally.She is such a dumbass.Most intellegent men like women with a higher IQ of 10.

Tell me how you can't feel sorry for this sad face?...

http://parishilton.snagapic.com

i feel bad for jessica. she's so fucking beautiful and all guys do is treat her like shit. ah- to find someone with the same problems as me....jk