Archive for February, 2007

Jennifer Lopez booed to tears

February 16th, 2007 // 160 Comments
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Jennifer Lopez had a screening at the Berlin Film Festival for her new movie Bordertown but started crying after the audience responded with muted applause and boos. I almost feel bad for her, except maybe this’ll stop her from making any more movies. I mean Anaconda was a masterpiece, but what are the odds she’ll ever recreate that magic?

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Niciole Richie charged with DUI

February 16th, 2007 // 65 Comments

nicole-richie-dui.jpgNicole Richie was charged with a DUI today for the incident in December when she was arrested for driving the wrong way on the freeway in her SUV. The case allso alleges she had a prior misdemeanor DUI conviction in 2003 and according to Calfiornia law, if convicted of a DUI twice within 10 years a person faces a sentence of 90 days to a year in jail, a fine between $390 and $1,000, and a suspension of driving privileges.

So here’s to hoping Nicole Richie gets convicted. If prison is anything like my DVD collection has taught me, she’ll have the time of her life in there. You wouldn’t believe what those security guards do with their nightsticks during shower time. Oh, no, you would not believe. It is wonderful and arousing to say the least.

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Britney Spears enters and exits rehab

February 16th, 2007 // 69 Comments
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Britney Spears checked into a rehab facility two days ago but refused to stay and checked out less than 24 hours later. The facility was located outside the country and she’s currently on her way back to Los Angeles.

Wow, a whole day of rehab. I wonder if we’ll even be able to recognize her anymore she’ll be so different.

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Anna Nicole Smith’s will leaves nothing to Dannielynn

February 16th, 2007 // 71 Comments
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Anna Nicole Smith’s will has been leaked and apparently it leaves everything to her dead son Daniel. The will was written in 2001 and wasn’t updated after the birth of her daughter Dannielynn Hope. Howard K. Stern is named as the executor of her estate and there’s a clause in the document that says: “I have intentionally omitted to provide for my spouse, including any future spouses or children” meaning Dannielynn will be excluded and receive nothing.

Now every single one of those people claiming to be the father is going to issue statements saying they were just kidding. They’d probably be like ten feet away from the paternity testing facility when they heard the news, then they’d slow down, casually turn the other direction, and start sprinting away.

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The Hoff goes drag

February 16th, 2007 // 49 Comments
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I was tempted to put this picture up of David Hasselhoff dressed in drag without an explanation but I figured that’d be unfair. He’s currently appearing in a Las Vegas run of The Producers. Which explains why The Hoff is wearing a dress, but not why he has a lifesize cardboard cutout of himself in his room. Does he carry that thing with him wherever he goes? I thought I was the only one who did that.

Check out the rest of the pictures of The Hoff in drag here.

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Jayden James Spears makes an appearance

February 16th, 2007 // 52 Comments
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BreatheHeavy.com

has a scan from the upcoming issue of OK! Magazine that features a pretty good shot of the top half of Jayden James Spears’ face. I can’t say for sure, but Jayden James looks infinitely cuter than his older brother Sean Preston (in the circle). Although he could have scales and an extra eye growing out of his cheek and he’d probably still be cuter. Jesus, Sean Preston looks like he could bring dolls to life and turn you into a jack-in-the-box with his mind.

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