2006 Miss Universe passes out

July 24th, 2006 // 80 Comments

18-year-old Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza from Puerto Rico won the 2006 Miss Universe title yesterday but fainted briefly (don’t worry, somebody caught her as she fell) after a post-pageant news conference. She was wearing a dress made entirely of metal chains and had been standing under hot stage lights, although she quickly recovered after being given liquids.

If you saw the pageant it looked like Miss Japan was going to win, but then they announced Miss Puerto Rico and it was just confusing as hell. And above we’ve got Donald Trump looking really angry standing next to her which is also confusing as hell. You can’t stand next to a woman that hot and look that angry. It’s physically impossible. Unless you’re a woman, in which case that’s about the only face you can make. That and crying. Because seriously, next to her you might as well just cut off your face and call it a day.


  1. Wouldn’t YOU faint too if you were standing beside someone with hair like Donald Trump?


  2. tits_on_snack


  3. Donald Trump looks soooo depressed in this picture. Maybe he needs a good prostate massage! This might release the constant brown nosers he usually enjoys-


  4. jane's eyre

    I’m fascinated how her boobs are managing to stand up that perkily and closely together while wearing a dress made of chains. It’s just a guess, but I’m thinking the answer might include the words, “silicone” and “implants”. But that’s just a guess.

  5. jane's eyre

    But she’s very gorgeous, in case someone was going to call me a “jealous hater”.

  6. pinky_nip

    Pass out? Shit, I’d kill myself if I found out part of my crown duties were to lick Trump’s nutsack.

  7. BarbadoSlim

    I like puertorican girls, and this one has a nice pair o’jugs. But I agree, the Japanese broad shoulda won.

    *cue oriental gong in the background*

  8. VanillaSalTyBaLLs

    That’s one tasty set of zuleyka’s she’s sporting!!!!

  9. Boy, she has a lot of cleavage considering I don’t think she’s wearing a bra. I’m jealous.


  10. jrzmommy

    a dress made entirely of metal + heat from hot lights = OUCH–MY SKIN IS BURNING!!!
    she is gorgeous, however, even if her ears are half the size of her head

  11. SpecialAgentWind

    #6 That’s just wrong to make me visualize Donalds nutsack – esp on a Monday. That’s just wrong.

  12. jhchan

    I was so disappointed by the pageant overall. The one host was trying, in vain, to quell the craziness that was Carson Kressley; it was so ridiculous.

    Ms. Puerto Rico looks like a starved chihuahua; she = butter face..

    Ms. Japan should have definitely won over her

  13. Look at that frown Donald’s sporting–even he thinks Miss Japan should have won.


  14. pinky_nip

    @11: Sorry ’bout that.

    You know, I’m all for “fucking for dollars”, but this dude could promise to shove diamonds in all my orifices, fuck me on a solid gold bar and I’d still rather rock the little man in the canoe by myself.

  15. BarbadoSlim

    One thing about this pageant is that it’s become a Donald Trump gig, I read he has final say on 5 semi-finalists and it’s not hard to imagine he MIGHT have final say on who wins.

    Zulkeyka and her tits looked as surprised as the rest of the world that she’d won.

  16. Sheva

    It takes a village or a metal dress to support those lovely tatas on such a beautiful slender frame.

    She’s hot. Donald is angry cuz his wife is on the premises.

  17. Diane

    There are sticky suction type bras that create cleavage like that while giving the impression that no bra is worn (no straps + back). Victoria’s Secret sell those along side their “chicken cutlets” and the like.

    Plus, most boobs in modeling and pageants are also assisted by some tape!

    But yea, I’m glad Miss Puerto Rico won. She was the prettiest (although Japan was the smartest) plus Miss USA looked like a Jerry Springer guest attending their highschool prom. Eww!

  18. SpecialAgentWind

    #14 Thats cool. I opted to visualize Melania giving Universe head – made it all warm and tingly.

  19. jane's eyre

    I think you are going to get some of the guys here excited with the words “sticky”, “suction”, and “cleavage”. If I know the superfish guys at all.

  20. RichPort

    The pageant is just the manner in which Trump picks his next wife. They’ll be serving chicharones and platanos at his next business leaders dinner, as soon as he’s done closing (BANG!) the (BANG!) deal (BANG!).

  21. GossipMonkey

    I’m torn – I think she is beautiful, but kinda looks like a Bratz doll. But still beautiful, so I hate to say this – please tell me it’s running makeup and not the Hilton Wonky Eye affliction…

  22. BarbadoSlim

    Quick factoid: Puerto Rico has been a U.S. colonial posssession since they forcibly took it from Spain during the Spanish American War.
    So it’s pretty accurate to say that the US entry won.

    The one that wasn’t a refugee from a My Name’s Earl episode.

  23. PapaHotNuts

    She’s Puerto Rican, so she probably stole that dress off a clothesline from her neighbor’s shack.

  24. BarbadoSlim

    Nah, she stole it from the American contestant’s porta-potty next to the trailer she drove in on.

  25. Jacq

    #4 – You mean that your boobs don’t just magically float up and together? Weird.

    #23 – It’s made from chains – she stole the clothesline.
    What was her talent? Riding a donkey?

    Miss PR: The Donald had just made a rowdy caca in his Depends and the stench was overwhelming. So, I pass-out.
    Interpreter: She’s honored. She says she feels much better after being given “liquids.”

  26. Jacq

    #20 – I bet that’s not all you can BANG!

  27. pinky_nip

    How many people does it take to bury a Puerto Rican?

    Five. One to lower the Puerto Rican, and four to lower the radio.

  28. biatcho

    Wow, I am so relieved to hear that someone caught her. Because it would have been awful to read about how she passed out, fell on her head, broke her skull,and somehow her sternum, and then the dress cracked open exposing herpes soars and various other STD realted lesions on parts of her body she was trying to cover up.That story would have blown goats. This onwe was much better.

  29. HarryNipples

    I can see her dirtypillows…

  30. Italian Stallion

    I would knock the Rican out of this chick, then she will be Puerto Talian…………..

    Oh yea, and Trumps just pissed off that he didn’t get to say “Your Fired”………

    I hope I don’t get charged for saying that…….

  31. i recognize that posture and look on the donald’s face…my two year old niece gets that same still, calm look of concentration while she’s crapping her diaper…which explains why the pretty stick next to him passed out…

  32. I have a tiara like that. It says ‘BIRTHDAY GIR” on it because I got drunk and fell and broke off the L.

  33. twzzlrgirl

    What’s with these women who faint and won’t take anything but liquids? If I faint, I want someone to administer mouth to mouth and then buy me a pizza.

    And squeezing her breasts like that was probably cutting off the oxygen to her brain.

  34. I bet she feels pretty, oh so pretty, and witty and gay.

  35. jrzmommy

    21–HA HA!! She DOES look like a Bratz doll. That’s really funny.

  36. YoMamma

    To me she looks like a rat-mouse. A rouse. Bred for their skills in…holy crap those are some big boobs.

  37. PapaHotNuts

    Now Trump has new maid.

  38. andrewthezeppo

    I like all this talk of “the Japanese girl should have won” mainly because its admitting that you watched the pagent….I hope you look forward to a life with your partner and cats

  39. frangly

    Boobs too big. God but I hate implants.

  40. Ya ya ya so she’s got plastic tits and all. And The Dumpster, err, Trumpster looks as hot as ever. Hot like a sweaty ball sac.

  41. Justin Igger

    @37 are you a caveman? cuz you sho do talk like one.

  42. PapaHotNuts

    @41 Im Justin Eanderthal.

  43. HarryNipples


    I’m Jack – Jack Meoff…

  44. juuso89

    maybe he’s so angry looking ’cause earlier there was rumors suggesting that the latin TV network Telemundo demands Miss Universe 2006 to be hispanic…and that what just seems to be happened, unfortunately..! :(

  45. Justin Igger

    @42 dats actually really funny yo, you funny yo, you funny

  46. I don’t think she’s got big boobs… I think they’re squeezed together to make the cleavage more imposing…

  47. Dragulf

    Alright you punks, stop bashing the pretty girl.
    I lived in Puerto Rico for 12 years and the girls are all hotties! some are really blonde hotties! Blonde hiar and brown eyes! woot! and PR food is 500 times better than mexican food.

  48. Recipe: take 1 Miss Canada, place in metal dress, cook under stagelights for 365 days until collapsed, pour in cool water, and present Miss Universe 2006. Serves 1 (Donald Trump)

  49. It would have been nice it Miss Japan would have won – to add more diversity to the Winners List

    But it was vitually impossible to resist Miss Puerto Rico’s chain Gown during the finalists

    The gown ultimately won it

    Was really suprised that Miss Trinidad did not win – She seemed to really give off an aura

    Here are video archives of all the candidates – before they take it down


  50. JollyJumjuck

    I think the Donald is mad because his trousers just became, er…well, you notice it’s not a full body photograph. (And Zulie is probably thinking, “Oh thank God for that!”)

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