Here come the Locust, just in time for the holidays.

Late Flight Superfish?

I hope Britney wiped off the stripper pole before using it! Hygiene first!

Superfish, The least you could of done was put up a post filling us in on your trip...we've been carnivorously chewing on each other here while we faithfully awaited your return and this is how you pay us back...huh?!?

Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I'd go beserk

Well you left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind

And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away ha haaa

You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed
You laughed when I said
That losing you would make me flip my lid

Right? You know you laughed
I heard you laugh. You laughed
You laughed and laughed and then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad

And they're coming to take me away ha haaa
They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away ha haaa

I cooked your food
I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind unselfish, loving deeds
Ha! Well you just wait
They'll find you yet and when they do
They'll put you in the A.S.P.C.A.
You mangy mutt

And they're coming to take me away ha haaa
They're coming to take me away ha haaa ho ho hee hee
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats

And they're coming to take me away
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away ha haaa!

And that was amusing how?

Oh sure. It's all Paris's fault Britney is like that.

2006's biggest losers at:

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

Get the alcohol wipes! Ugh... that poor pole.

Question to the masses:

Paris was only in the spotlight in the first place because her father owns Hilton hotels and is a brilliant businessman in his own right. No reporter that I've seen has ever tracked him down to stuck a microphone in his face to get his stuttering and (I can only imagine) completely embarrassed reaction.

Is he dead?

Um, Brit? That shirt and skirt don't fit.

who gives a shit, ok let's get moving with the posts.

#10- the openings on her ever so tight shirt is suppose to match her tacky outdated open toe shoes.

Welcome back. I now know I am addicted to your blog. Should probably get some therapy.

Hope your family is okay.

Did someone say therapy? hehe

Is Britney borrowing Paris's shirts now as well as her stripper poles?

Why oh why couldnt this be adriana lima and salma hayek? Seems like the all the steamy lesbian gossip belongs to chicks nobody really wants to screw.

http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

can you imagine the smell of that pole? musty musk.

and what's up with that mark on Brit's left wrist? didn't know she had a tat there....maybe it's half a heart with Paris getting the other half tattooed on her privates...that way when Brit fists Paris, the heart becomes one....

Lesson in Futility 101 - you have to wear underwear in order to strip it off.

Could you imagine Paris' house on MTV cribs? "This is my own personal striper pole, this is the BDSM room and here is my on-site abortion clinic!"

I bet that pole has the smell and texture of a floor on a deep sea fishing boat!!!!

Let's hope *this* happens to both of their stupid asses.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGzu8kkw49Q

um...so did k-fed burn all of britneys clothes? cause whats with the skirt and fishnets..did we get a little scissor happy?...and i wasn't gunna mention it but...i must warn you...everyone better watch out....her shirt buttons might go at any minute...don't want anyone to get hit in the eye or anything....i guess this is what happens when white trash tries to mingle with high class....er wait...stripper pole involved...and paris hilton involved...nope ok sorry scratch the high class part...my mistake. white trash all around!

#21
In Britney's case let's hope not - when she lands like that there'll be breastmilk all over`the floor.

wtf is brandon davis doing in the background of those pictures? wasn't he banned from hyde for being an utter dickhole? the glare from his greasyness actually distracted me for a moment from the hideousness of brit's shirt.

"Private striptease lessons"? Showing your vajajay to the world 4 days in a row is private?

And Paris' eye looks particularly wonky in that photo...*shutter*.

Welcome back, by the way. While you were gone, I had to get my daily fix at Perez Hilton and I'll tell ya, I think my IQ dropped a few points in the process.

Britney seriously doesn't have the body to be doing stripping!!! Paris has a pretty face and body, so she could get somewhere :|

Oh yeah and the last pic of Britney, the dude in the background to the left looks like Elvis Presley lol :p
Also, the first pic of Paris, her eyes are so mysterious, she looks like she's seen a cock!

"bloated hooker receptionist" is britney's new look. those buttons look like they are strained beyond all hope trying to hold in her girth.

i can't wait to hear about britney being paris's scat pig. she's so easy to manipulate because she has no brain.

@24 hahhaha Brandon Davis. That oily sonofabitch has to be the luckiest guy ever. I can't tell tou how many guys like him have approached me over the years that I have given the old "Sorry,I am a lesbian" or "Sorry, But I only fuck black men" lines.

Why is he so oily and greasy????????/

#17 lol! The pole obviously smells like Paris's puke and vagina! Maybe privately since she can't have sex for more than a month and that's it, she humps the pole instead and leaks over that.
I bet she's gonna have soooo much sex once that bet or whatever it is over....or maybe she's already broken the bet since she's been so drunk she can't even remember what happened!

I'm glad to see Paris is giving back to todays youth, where would we be without her guidance?!

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

#29
PrettyBaby, I think he is his own lube machine because if he DOES get lucky it has to be quick. Like before she has time to wake up.

i suspect the pole doesn't go all the way to the ceiling for when paris needs something more "substantial" than a human rod.

I've seen her sex tape, and based on that her idea of stripping must be laying on her back and occasionally giggling.

Oh, and spreading herpes.

#29 - prettybaby: i'm pretty sure that his sleaziness has manifested itself into his skin, and so as long as he keeps behaving like he's god's gift to women he's going to shine like he just took a bath in baby oil. i never got what those girls ever saw in him...o no wait he's rich...so basically, they're whoring themselves....got it.

doesn't britshit have enough cash to hire a stylist?

It's good to see that Britney picked a capable mentor. I mean where would she be without Paris' guidance.

It's good to see that Britney picked a capable mentor. I mean where would she be without Paris' guidance.

#37 Yeah, she DOES need a hair stylist. Her hair just makes her face look like her eyes are taking over her face *_*

"She looks like a tranny up close."--Tina Fey
Truer words have never been spoken.

Brit and Paris sex video... that would be interesting.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-video.htm

Well, damn. That pole's got to be carrying enough yeast for a loaf of bread.

What the hell is up with her eye? It's not just a lazy eye, it actually looks like it came from another person's face. How does that happen?

Ok,

You are a supposedly Hot, Rich, Stylish celeb. Yet you always get up and do stiptease dances in whatever clubs you are in. How pathetically insecure can you get? Whats Wrong Paris, did Daddy give Nikki more attention when you were younger?

#42 - it's because she wears blue contacts. her eyes are naturally brown and she wishes she had blue eyes. she also insists that when she does photoshoots for magazines that they edit the photo so her eyes look naturally blue....and that is one of the many reasons her eyes look so fucked. it could also be because the stds have made it impossible for her to see straight.

Look at that picture and then try to imagine what she will look like in 10 years...Does Donatella Versace come to mind?
http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2006/WORLD/europe/03/24/donatella.versace/story.versace.gi.jpg

and, 43 you nailed it. Paris has everything, yet she is an insecure stupid young woman.

Can't wait for the sex tape yo!

http://wampoon.com

So I guess Brit & Paris are the new Paris & Nicole. I wonder if Paris will be as bitter when Brit loses all the baby weight as she was when Nicole got skinny. Hmm.

strippers, ballerinas and lesby sex....yeah, i can see how they interrelate. *rolls eyes*

why is britney cutting all her skirts shorter?! My goodness, I think she can afford a tailor.

There'll be enough fake hair and animal diseases for us to make our own pet pony!

why do I pay a tailor to hem my skirts? I am so yesterday! obviously, its so Today, to just cut them off with the scissors and wear the ragged edge.

Oh my god! Her eye really is freaky!!! It doesnt look real! Who's the plastic guy in the back?

Jesus be praised! I could not go one more minute without meaningless celebrity news.

WTF would anyone want to watch Shitney strip? Isn't she showing her funky monkey to the general public anyhow? Those colossal funbags of hers cannot be attractive to look at this point, either.

God, welcome back SF guy.

All I can think of is Britney's greasy va-jay-jay smothering that poor pole....(in the bathroom throwing up)....

The funny looking eyeball is the glass one.

Dear website overlord,
I am so glad you are back. I was afraid my brain was beginning to re-solidify over the weekend.

i'm starting to miss EARL :(

Is "put on a tutu" some kind of code language for "they got nekkid and made sweet love all night"
?????????????????????????

Ugly.

Ugly.

can anyone else hear the buttons on britney's shirt screaming, clinging & grasping for dear life?

God she is a fucking porker!

brandon davis looks like he smells like an old Wendy's burger left under the passenger seat during a heatwave.

Good for her.

Let's not forget that Brit kissed Madonna on stage. In the vein of being totally unoriginal and petty, I wouldn't be surprised to see her kiss Paris just to get publicity.

Paris Hilton looks hot! I think Tina fey looks like a Tranny. Britney on the other hand looks like Britney that took a bath. Ooooooo, so glamorous...NOT!!!

Paris looks hot? You mean like a "seething pot of venereal disease in a petri dish" kinda hot? Cuz that's the only 'hot' I see.

She's genetically a frumpy brunette with dull brown crossed eyes, a big nose, and a high-mileage vag. Nothin' hot about that, even if she can buy all the blonde hair, blue contacts, and nose jobs in the world..

Her kid, if she had one, would still be a frumpy brunette with dull brown crossed eyes, a big nose, and a (probably) high-mileage vag. Typical Mississippi teenager...

Britney's buttons are screaming yet some of you say "she's not fat".

She looks like she's trying to be Paris with the blonde extensions and all but she looks more like a blonde Peg Bundy.

I can't figure out which Paris I would most like to see destroyed, the one full of bread munching, smelly Frenchman and violent, anarchist Muslim youth or old wonky eye here.

Look at that fucked up wonky eyed poster child for natural selection, can you imagine the type of kid this one would squirt out if god actually loved her??

The end days are truely upon us =)

Who in the hell keeps leaking this bullshit PR stories about Britney and Par-ASS. They are so unbelievable. Next someone will tell me they seen these two riding on a set of pink unicorns on a rainbow set for the friggin moon. I mean Britney is a trained dancer and despite her current level of sexy I bet she could work a strip pole up, down and sideways since the age of 2. And Paris teaching someone to dance!? what a fucking joke!!! Her dance moves are horrid, we all seen the music video she couldn't dance her way out of a paperbag.

Since when do strippers wear tutus????

I keep hearing that pole dance is a great workout, finally my husband put a pole in my house and he bought me some dvd's to start my workout.
I know some of you are wondering where I got my new toys, you can visit www.exoticdanceforyou.com
I don't think is wrong that women want to feel sexy using the pole at home.

Exotic dance for you is the dvd