In the smartest – and sleaziest – move yet, Kevin Federline is using his alleged 4-hour sex tape with Britney Spears to leverage custody of the children and $30 million. He’s already been offered $50 million by companies wanting to distribute it on the web, but says he’d sell it back to Britney for $30 million and custody of their two kids. A source close to Federline says:

“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex – and play the odd game of chess. They were insatiable and they believed they would be together forever. Britney didn’t think twice about making the video at the time. She mistakenly believed that their love would last. They adored filming each other. They lived their lives in front of the cameras – even making a short-lived reality TV show of their exploits. Sex was no different to them, it seems. Now this video could prove very costly to her. Millions of people will be prepared to pay to watch. Kevin has told Britney she should comply with his demands otherwise the whole world will see her having sex, which will be devastating. At the moment Kev is in talks with a company in Arizona about putting the four-hour sex vid online. If it all goes to plan he’ll make [$50 million] from it.”

If Britney doesn’t cave and hand over the children I’m sure a judge will. Because when you see a man of such moral character and integrity as Kevin Federline there’s no way you can deny him the privelege of raising children. This guy makes Abraham Lincoln look like Hitler.

And just cause, here are some shots of Britney Spears rocking a Santa hat in mid Novemeber at a New York pharmacy. Don’t ask what’s going on in that above shot, because even God himself wouldn’t be able to tell you.