Archive for August, 2006

Kate Beckinsale still doing outside squats

August 17th, 2006 // 48 Comments
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Kate Beckinsale was spotted doing some squats outside her gym in Brentwood yesterday morning. At least I think they’re squats. Whatever they are they involve a giant rubber band. And a raging hardon. But that’s on my end. It’s hard for me to see a thick green rubber band like that and not get one. God forbid I walk into an Office Depot unprepared.

And just in case you’ve forgotten here’s Kate Beckinsale and Kate Beckinsale and one more of Kate Beckinsale. Becauese if there’s one thing I know, it’s that Kate Beckinsale’s name is Kate Beckinsale.

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Paris Hilton still needs powerful deodorant

August 17th, 2006 // 44 Comments
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Thanks to Howie for sending in this additional pic he took of Paris Hilton at her CD launch party in New York City last night. Either Paris has the shiniest armpits I’ve ever seen or her deodorant situation is seriously out of control. Maybe she has her Secret confused with Elmer’s glue. Or cocaine. Or whatever other gooey white substance she can get her hands on.

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Kelly Clarkson rocks out with Chivas Regal

August 17th, 2006 // 40 Comments

This is one of the more bizarre things I’ve seen latey. Kelly Clarkson is watching a performance of Metal Skool on the Sunset Strip when she gets brought up stage, chugs Chivas Regal from the bottle, and then sings some Guns N’ Roses cover songs with the lead singer from Yellowcard. The whole clip is 10 minutes long and not particularly interesting, but if you’re a fan of Kelly Clarkson or the Yellowcard guy or Guns N’ Roses cover songs you might get a kick out of it. Otherwise just skip it and go straight to the Lindsay Lohan topless pics. I know that’s why you’re here anyways. That and the free cake.

Thanks to P for the tip, and for having the shortest name of all time.

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Haley Joel Osment is in so much trouble

August 17th, 2006 // 63 Comments
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Haley Joel Osment was charged with four criminal counts today including: driving while having a blood alcohol content of .08 percent or higher with the special allegation of having a blood alcohol content of .15 percent or higher (especially bad!), and possession of marijuana while driving. Osment’s blood-alcohol content was 0.16 (double the legal limit) and the charges come from an incident last month when he crashed his 1995 Saturn, flipping it and breaking a rib.

I don’t think anybody saw this coming. At least Mel Gibson has a history of drinking, but the only thing Haley Joel Osment is known for is looking cute and hitting puberty. If convicted he faces up to six months in county jail, but considering it’s Haley Joel Osment the judge will probably just ask him to say “I see dead people” and then let him go for being a national treasure.

NOTE: Speaking of which, Mel Gibson pleaded no contest to his DUI charges today and faces no jail time but has to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Which should be good, because nobody is more anonymous than Mel Gibson. Except maybe Mr. T. Or the Kool-Aid man.

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Paris Hilton needs powerful deodorant

August 17th, 2006 // 56 Comments
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Brandon Davis is living in the past

August 17th, 2006 // 79 Comments
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Brandon Davis recently got out of rehab but showed up drunk to the launch of party of Paris Hilton’s debut album at Suite in Miami and, after crawling on stage, starting yelling about a Firecrotch song he wrote for Lindsay Lohan.

“I wrote a special new song called ‘Firecrotch,’ and it’s for Lindsay Lohan!” He proceeded to ramble on, reminding folks about his infamous online video rant against the actress, which led to him checking into rehab in the first place. An insider tells us the “Firecrotch” song is real and was produced by Scott Storch, who twiddled knobs on Hilton’s album.

It was amusing the first time he called Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch but now it’s getting kind of old. With that much money you’d think he could come up with better ways to get attention than just rehashing his old material. Like buying a couple of bald eagles and eating them in Times Square. Or taking a dump out the window of his solid gold car.

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