first!

and that's not shocking is it

The funny thing, to me, is that we're concerned with what the furry little fucker may or may not have given Paris.

Shouldn't we be more concerned with what Paris most likely gave that little mon-chi-chi? Skankatitious

Did they give the kinkajou a shots? Poor creature.

i SWEAR that's how i got my genital herpes! honest. me visiting that hooker was just coincidence.

When is the kink gonna eat the tink? Huh?

I only wish it had bitten her on her big fat smelly vagina instead of her arm. Damn monkey. And by that I mean Paris.

rabies? i've never been less surprised in my life...it's only a matter of time before she adopts that monkey from outbreak as her next pet...

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

Shouldn't the headline read:

"BABY LUV MIGHT HAVE HERPES"

Some things on my mind...

1.) That's why these kinkajous are NOT meant to be pets.

2.) Did they give the kink anti-biotics after he bit Paris?

3.) Maybe kink saliva cures STDs. Modern medicine be damned!

4.) How sad is it that the ONLY person that was around to take her to the emergency room was her publicist?

5.) Does publicist = babysitter/chauffeur/yes man/"I want my daddy!" substitute?

6.) Did the hospital have to pay her $500,000 to make her appearance?

How does one go about obtaining a f'ing pet kinkajou? And why is she allowed to have one??

Oh shitballs, I didn't get to be FIRST. Let me go cry in my soup. I'm shocked that she didn't already have rabies to go with the other 457 diseases she has.

I'd like it if the little fucker dug those monster claws into her ugly face and Milhoused the shit out of her.

with what appears to be "Vulcan ears", her alienistic transformation is now taking effect.

She also might have the worlds largest collection of STD's!

http://www.VeryLiberating.com

I'm not sure which diseases a kinkajou might carry either, or whether the germs would survive in that environment.
I understand 'Jacques Brel' does well in there, but, to be honest, that's always been a bit of a surprise to me.

Her dog must feel like an asshole. I mean, after coming in 2nd place for the Taco Bell campaign, this shit has to be pretty embarassing.

She gave up sex for a year, but only with humans. She was actually trying to stuff the furry little guy into her cavernous pussy. He freaked (who wouldn't?) and bit her. Poor little guy; he didn't want to end up perpetually shaking like Tinker Bell.

Does this mean poor little Kinkajou has herpes now? Where's PETA?!?!?!

Her vagina actually secretes confetti.

its jus a matter of time b4 all her ex "lovers" bite her on the face 4 givin them all these diseases. and by lovers i mean anyone thaat was dumb enough to let her suck their cock

People aren't supposed to own Kinkajous. I mean, maybe it's cool and all, but it's not a domesticated animal. I'm not surprised it's bit her.

I feel bad for the Kinkajou. I mean, maybe it has a nice life and all, being pampered by her, but she seems pretty creepy. It probably got scared when it saw her big nose coming at it.

i h8 when ppl type like a prince song title. dont u?

# 22 Indeed. Only variations of LOL, FU, and TCLTC should be acceptable. IDK, no1 undr 18 yrs old shud b aloud 2 post... morons.

I'm a KinkyJew, and I would be glad to catch all kinds of nasty penis infections from Paris Hilton. Any chance I get to add to my collection of STDs, infected boils - I've got room for them all! Love, Horseonovich (Google me!)

24--kinkyjew. hee hee.

23 u r so rite

what does TLTC actually maen??

i mean TCLTC lol

Curiousity led me to wikipedia.

"In 2005, kinkajous were made popular as pets by celebrities such as Paris Hilton, who named hers "Baby Luv". In December, the celebrity heiress was reportedly attacked by her pet kinkajou, which she had taken shopping with her in Los Angeles."

This will be reported attack #2.

"Kinkajous do not like to be awake during the day, and dislike noise or sudden movements. If they are agitated too much, they may emit a scream and attack, usually clawing their victim and biting deeply. Their bites are particularly dangerous as their saliva contains a tenacious, species-specific bacterium - Kingella potus."

In other words, kinkajous don't like shopping at Barney's or going to clubs.

Great. For her already immense resume of crimes against society, add cruelty to animals. You know, if she gave the poor kinkajou something AND made it listen to her album, she could clearly be arrested for cruelty to animals.

http://www.reidaboutit.com

"Kinkajous do not like to be awake during the day, and dislike noise or sudden movements. If they are agitated too much, they may emit a scream and attack, usually clawing their victim and biting deeply. Their bites are particularly dangerous as their saliva contains a tenacious, species-specific bacterium - Kingella potus."

Why, that describes Paris Hilton!!!

Funny, I heard she likes to be bitten.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-sex-tape.htm

#28: Tom Cruise Loves The Cock

How will we be able to tell if she is foaming at the mouth or if she just had a date behind the local trash bin on 32nd st?

Word of caution: When standing next to Paris Hilton it is now a violation of federal law to NOT wear a HAZMAT suit.

Paris is a skanky ho. However...that kinkajous of hers is hot. I'll bang that creature hard, doggie style, of course with a condom on. Better yet, throw in the little doggie and it'll be a sweet threesome.

That's not a kinkajou- that's her vag, turned inside out! Beware, horny party goers: that thing has teeth! (As if the thought of her STDs aren't scary enough for ya.)
Oh, yeah- TCLTC. Perhaps we should call his Sir Cocksalot? Just a thought...

#36...hehe..Sir Cocksalot.

Anywhore....this should be a sign to that cunt that wild animals are not her effin accessories.

If this kinkajou's saliva manages to kill Paris, I think it should replace the bald eagle as our national animal.

This is lame.

You want Paris. I got some Paris for ya......

Click on my screen name.

WTF!

Try this...

http://www.jordanisyourhomeboy.com/viewpicture/paris-hilton-look-alike-in-playboy/003.htm

good - she deserves to have rabies

If calls from people like Paris at 3 am are part of the deal, why the fuck would anybody wanna be a publicist? Unless the little monkey* tore her arm off, why couldn't she drive her own dumb ass to the hospital? Other people have had to cut off their own limbs without anesthetic and crawl out of ditches for help, and she couldn't drive after receiving a bite from a tiny animal? She's got a $400,000 car, for the love of cheese. For that kind of money, it should have driven her to hospital itself. Eh, I've just stopped caring...

* I know it's not a monkey, it's probably related to possums or racoons or whatever. Still, good for you, odd-looking creature. Next time, go for the eyes.

its pathetic that she would have an animal that is supposed to be out in the wild jungle in wouth america, is happiest in its natural habitat. that pisses me off that she has one. people like her who displace pets should be shot.

Might have rabies? Uh huh...

http://www.exposay.com/paris-hilton/1/c/1751/

Didn't Baby Luv bite somebody on the face not that long ago...I seem to remember that.

What I don’t understand is why she was even home at 3:00am. Shouldn’t she have been out partying at some club or something??

Will someone please, for the love of God, gift this moron with a badger or Tasmanian Devil. Fuck the kinkaju, those little baddies would make short work of her nose, eyes, clitoris and anything else within sight. Did any of you see the Simple Life where she has these midgets stay at the Hilton and make their room up to look like a forest so they can camp out and still get room service? She brought a couple of bear cubs, on loan from some zoo she probably donates to, and had the little midgies cuddle them. I bet daddy midge was quietly praying one of those bears mauled his kids. Like that would ever go to trial. Judge - "Ms. Hilton, you brought a pair of bear cubs into the room?" Paris - "That's right, your Honor." Judge - "And you see nothing wrong with that?" Paris - "I can't see at all, your Honor. God damned Baby Luv took my eyes." Case settled out of court.

has anyone else notice the creepy, blank, i-have-no-soul look in her eyes in like, every single picture? she's scary.

what the fuck is that thing clinging to her shoulder

it looks like a fucking mutant bat that lost its wings

holy fuck, maybe if turning into a vampire...

#49 oh its ok...

...its just paris
...didn't recognise her for a moment

Somebody get that monkey to a Doctor FAST!

I've heard that aids may have come to humans from monkeys.
Now we will have our revenge in the form of whatever diseases Paris Hilton has.

Take that, You Damn Dirty Apes!

Too bad. Now that little kinky-what's-it is either going to bite itself to death or run out in traffic. It's a faster death than allowing whatever exotic diseases it picked up from PH

to eat away at it

Stupid bitch deserves it.

If the thing turned blue, it would look like stitch.

Does everyone remember that this happened a few months before? While she was shopping? This thing obviously does not like her very much. She should change its name from Baby Luv to Eatsmyface.

I like Paris!

Suck ass.

so what if she has rabies does it matter i mean i gave this dumb white bitch aids

I met "The P-ster" and cannot confirm she was foaming at the mouth, but can confirm that her milkshate DID NOT bring me to the yard.

i don't know what's got into her :)

she must realise the "free passes" are above the normally famous

...especially "the very rich famous but have never done anything for africa" type of people

learn your place bitch and read a dictionary...africa [or just a non-us newspaper]

no superfish, you're not thinking of rabies. miz hilton might have scabies. Easy to mix up the 2. Call me when Paris Hilton might have babies, then i will worry.

*56 LMAO

Ah, that'll teach that bitch to treat her pets as if they were fashion accessories. I hope she really does have rabies and that they're gonna put her in a cage for the rest of her life.

Once you go kinkajou, You NEVER go back!

http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/