August 09, 2006
The Superficial Ketchup

• Robin Williams has entered rehab to treat alcoholism, after being sober for 20 years and finding himself drinking again. If what we've seen for the past 20 years is Robin Williams sober I can't imagine how annoying he is drunk. I picture a wild monkey, but with less poo throwing and more lame impressions. And probably more body hair too.
• Bruce Willis is suing a childhood friend claiming he tried to extort him for $100,000 and a new car by threatening to release private photos of him. Which really makes you wonder what kind of photos we're dealing with here.
• Drummer Travis Barker has broken up with his Playboy Playmate wife Shanna Moakler after just two years of marriage. I can't even find the energy to pretend I care about this.
Previous Entries
» Nicole Richie with creepy mystery man» Kate Beckinsale still can't afford a real gym
» Heather Mills breaks into Paul McCartney's house
» Janet Jackson likes her water cold
» Lindsay Lohan is an American hero


Comments
1. Posted by cookiemonster on August 9, 2006 06:09 PM
first!
2. Posted by griffmills on August 9, 2006 06:12 PM
I love the picture of the yawning lady beside Robin, she must be watching RV
3. Posted by I Fucked Your Honor Student on August 9, 2006 06:12 PM
First I fucked cookiemonsters honor student then I fucked his cookie.
4. Posted by sharkbite on August 9, 2006 06:23 PM
Yeah, I'm with you. It's been an awfully slow newsday.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
5. Posted by herbiefrog on August 9, 2006 06:28 PM
Robin Williams has entered rehab to treat alcoholism, after being sober for 20 years and finding himself drinking again.
http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1224730,00.html
...its just fuel man
...you are sposed
...to be smart enuf : )
...to figue it out
6. Posted by thesarahficial on August 9, 2006 06:32 PM
this news is so exciting
7. Posted by MissaRB on August 9, 2006 06:34 PM
I really don't believe he was sobber for 20 years, there is just no way he wasn't on something.
8. Posted by Tanor on August 9, 2006 06:35 PM
Maybe the whole Mel Gibson got Williams thinking again.
Or maybe because he lost the role of Joker to Heath friggin Ledger?
http://www.BadBreakups.net
9. Posted by combustion8 on August 9, 2006 07:00 PM
shanna moakler kicked to the curb.. too bad she used to be "amazingly" hot.. it's a shame what drugs and shiting out 3 babies can do to a playmate.
10. Posted by Adult Underoos on August 9, 2006 07:09 PM
robin williams = unfunny all the time
11. Posted by Ivana Mandalay on August 9, 2006 07:09 PM
I'd divorce that bitch Shanna too if she named my poor kid "Alabama"
Total hick name, I'm surprised Britney Spears didn't sue her for taking the white trash hick name first.
Besides, First she was with Dennis Quaid, then Oscar De La Hoya, then Travis Barker??
You're supposed to UPGRADE, not fall into a downward spiral of ugly, overly tattooed, toothpick skinny, has-been rock stars. Damn girl, have a little respect for yourself.
Well, wait...
She IS after all a has-been Playmate who looks about 40 lbs heavier so she's gotta take what she can get to support her bon-bons habit.
12. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on August 9, 2006 07:15 PM
Robin Williams - He had to blame RV on something. He only has a "problem" when he mixes his coke with alcohol (and I'm not talking Rum and Coke). I can't recall a Tonight Show appearance in the last 20 years where he wasn't hyperfrenetic. But I'm sure he doesn't see nose candy as an issue as he thinks it only enhances his comedy.
Bruce Willis - What kind of friend are we talking about, and how damaging the photos to demand that much? I mean, is there a pic of Bruce doing a Tom Cruise impersonation (toking on a cock)? Or fellating a goat smeared in the blood of an unborn child? It can't be something so lame as a mullet shot or Bruce wearing parachute pants and moonwalking.
The Barkers - The MTV curse is as real as King Tut's. First Nick and Jessica, then Dave and Carmen, now Travis and Shanna. All had MTV shows and all took the short drive to splitsville. I am curious as to it being Travis filing and not Shanna. I bet he caught her smothering a poolboy with her twat.
13. Posted by KristinMichelle on August 9, 2006 07:25 PM
It's about time Travis dropped that golddigger! She already weasled over $60 million out of Oscar De La Hoya in some weird palimony suit. Her strange fascination for older or egregiously tattooed men shows that the only common denominator in the rainbow of men she has dated is that they are famous and past their prime.
14. Posted by Me on August 9, 2006 08:03 PM
My god leave the poor woman alone. In one forum you are all bashing a kid for saying Nichole Richie is too thin, now you are calling an average sized ex-miss usa a bob bon eating hippo. No wonder girls have such fucked up body views. You just cant win.
15. Posted by krisdylee on August 9, 2006 08:15 PM
Male "celebs" I'd like to punch in the nads:
Robin Williams
Jim Carey
Nicholas Cage
Dave Navarro
Regis Philbin
TBC....
16. Posted by Me on August 9, 2006 08:15 PM
Im sorry, I ment bashing a kid, saying Nichole Richie is disgustingly thin, yet vulgerly bashing Shauna for being hugely "fat".
17. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on August 9, 2006 08:35 PM
Robin Williams-
Addictions are rough, I feel for him. It is not easy living in this world. People can be so terribly cruel, self esteem is so easily damaged and the fact that he is trying to overcome his addiction is admirable.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
18. Posted by RichPort on August 9, 2006 09:20 PM
Robin Williams was arrested for talking erratically while walking down Hollywod Blvd, angrily channeling his oft performed, annoying personalities. Police department officials report he had a BAC of an inhuman 53%, muttering endlessly "Are you from Ork? Everyone knows Orkans are responsible for all the wars in the world!", before an ecscape attempt that ended steps later in an embarassing face plant on the hot sidewalk. When officers tried to calm him, he crazily reached for a faded wallet sized photo of Pam Dawber with the edges slightly torn and frayed, screaming "SUGAR TITS!" incessantly, holding it before him as if it were a talisman. Officials with the police department report he was only awoken from his stupor after being restrained and forced to watch his own asinine movies, prompting the actor/ comedian to admit he has a problem with alcohol, namely that he had just run out of it.
19. Posted by YoMamma on August 9, 2006 09:24 PM
@#15...I'll jump on that nad punching.
David Hasselhoff
Mel Gibson
Tom Cruise
Tommy Lee
Emeril. I hate that guy. BAM!! FUCK OFF!
oh yeah...Robin Williams. Twice. In his hairy stinky OLD balls.
20. Posted by Sir Psycho Sexy on August 9, 2006 10:48 PM
19. Don't mess with The Hoff!
However, feel free to employ as ballistic pendulums the miniscule scrotums of any of the following fucktards.
Floyd Landis
Clay Aiken
Jay Leno
Rosie O'Donnell
The Baldwins
Tom Hanks
Hayden Christensen
George Bush
Laura Bush
Nick Lachey
The Senate
Gnarls Barkely
Bill O'Reilly
Hugo Chavez
Sean Hannity
Alan Colmes
Sean Combs
Steve Guttenberg
Major League Baseball
Hillary Clinton
...
21. Posted by Sir Psycho Sexy on August 9, 2006 10:50 PM
Yes, I know that Hillary is also in the Senate, so kick her twice, ...
22. Posted by Ivana Mandalay on August 9, 2006 10:51 PM
Dear "Me":
" now you are calling an average sized ex-miss usa a bob bon eating hippo. No wonder girls have such fucked up body views."
Did you ever watch "Meet the Barkers"? Shanna was ALWAYS in bed. The only time that bitch wasn't in bed was when she was out spending Travis' money on ridiculously expensive baby furniture or Louis Vuitton luggage. Must be nice.
23. Posted by Ivana Mandalay on August 9, 2006 10:53 PM
Major League Baseball wears cups...
Put on yer steel toed boots, baby.
24. Posted by krisdylee on August 9, 2006 11:25 PM
Sylvester Stallone
25. Posted by LL on August 9, 2006 11:49 PM
#18,19,20: damn, I'm still laughin...
RE Robin Williams: good actor (no, really) but his "comedy" must be like stealth technology or something cause I just don't see it. His nonstop babbling and sound effects and funny voices make him seem like Rainman. And not in a charming way, but in a shut-the-fuck-up-already way.
RE Travis Barker and his wife: I have no idea who either of these people are. They actually have a TV show? Jebus, they really will put anyone on TV. Why the hell don't I have a TV show? I can lay in bed all day and babble incoherently. I can trade legal tender for goods and services. She gets to be on TV cause she has huge boobs and no dignity whatsoever? Life is so unfair.
RE Bruce: Bruce, whatever happens, just start screamin about Jews, and all will be forgiven.
26. Posted by Binky on August 9, 2006 11:53 PM
There's a thin line between alcholism and 'coping'
But, hey, you've got to admit - 'Mindy' carried this guy for years in the TV days.
The guy's lucky to have a career. Comedy only goes so far now-a-daze.
27. Posted by Cleosneedle on August 10, 2006 12:56 AM
Re: Barkers
All I ever saw her do on that damn tv show was lay her fat ass in bed. She didn't really work, slept all day, spent too much money on crap and had a nanny take care of her kids. It's about time Travis got that leach of him.
28. Posted by Me on August 10, 2006 01:51 AM
I am actually not a Shania fan, more of a Travis fan... but if you visit her website you can see she isn’t worthless (http://www.shannamoakler.com/). Weather she lays in bed or not has nothing to do with her weight. And besides that, we live in the pathetic life of reality TV and tabloids. Do you really think you know what these people do on a daily basis? lol. It’s called editing….. by the way, she was pregnant with two children over two seasons.
29. Posted by likeyoureanybetter on August 10, 2006 02:40 AM
Someone has to explain something to me. OKay, I don't know who writes this bul*s*it, or why everyone seems to f*cking love it, but why is everything I've read, just insults to every celebrity. Seriously, the only way anyone could like any of this is if you hate every single famous person. How the hell does that work?
There are some celebrities who I don't like for whatever reason, but I don't make a website about them and come up with stories about what they did and how retarded they were to do it.
And really- about Robin Williams, I'm not a big fan, and I don't really care what goes on in his life, but everyone's so god da*n harsh.
Screw all you guys, who have nothing better to do than insult famous people.
30. Posted by Binky on August 10, 2006 04:25 AM
Likeyouremisusingthebutter is right.
Screw you guys.
Everyone's cool. Everything is cool.
But I'd better get back to the monastery. My bell ringing class starts in an hour and this connection blows.
31. Posted by ch474 on August 10, 2006 08:10 AM
I think Robin's flug his share of poo over the years.
32. Posted by jrzmommy on August 10, 2006 09:49 AM
I liked Robin Williams better when he was running around amped on coke.
My top 5 Punch to the Nads Winners are:
John Travolta
Graydon Carter
Al Gore
Michael Douglas
Lorenzo Lamas
Hall of Fame Status, which means it goes without saying:
Tom Cruise
Tommy Hilfiger
Osama bin Laden bin bang bang
Prince Charles
Kim Jong Il
Hugo Chavez
Fidel Castro
20--ha ha, Rosie O'Donnell.
33. Posted by jrzmommy on August 10, 2006 09:52 AM
29 reminds me of Cartman on South Park, "Screw you guys; I'm going home."
34. Posted by knowhere on August 10, 2006 09:54 AM
alcohol isn't a problem. it's the solution!
35. Posted by YoMamma on August 10, 2006 04:15 PM
@29.
We ARE better. Deal with it.
36. Posted by happy_bunny on August 10, 2006 06:35 PM
Any one of these stories here in Ketchup is way more interesting than Nicole Richie and her creepy mystery man.
37. Posted by ImSuicidal on August 10, 2006 11:55 PM
biatcho - Hopeless_ ask me to invite you to a party over at: www.spankcheeks.blogspot.com . He's got a new name "cock"- something or other
He'll want you to bring a gift!
PS He's in the witness protection program so keep it hush, hush.