Who gives a fuck about Suri ... show more pixx of Penelope

Uno, pendejos!

Damn you, ICouldn'tResist!

I have also met Suri the beauty baby. She's got tentacles. And a funny hat. And a monocle.

Can anybody look at that face and really say she's attractive? She looks fuckin' goofy to me. Would I bang her? Please, enough with the silly questions. Its me we are talking about.

WTF IS THIS SHIT!?

Nobody gives a fuck about TC anymore! GIVE US PICTURES OF LOHAN IN HER LATEST BIKINI SO I CAN VOMIT OVER HOW PHYSICALLY REVOLTING HER FIRM ROUND ASS AND SUMPTUOUS BREASTS ARE!

LIKE NOEW!!!!!!!!!

i wonder what Penelope and Katie talked about when Mr. Big Man was out of the room?

Penelope Cruz isn't exactly an impartial source--she's been on the Tom Cruise payroll for years. How else would you explain their relationship?

http://glossedover.com

Katie probably said "Help Me"

Penelope is so breathing sighs of relief....that could have been her all brainwashed and faking a pregnancy.

@4 So she looks like "Mr Peanut" - only with tentacles?

Real nice, invite over the chick you used to bang to meat your new kid. What has the world cum 2? I mean, come on!

suri sure is speshul.

Maybe shes retarded?

Does it strike anyone else as odd that everyone who's "seen" Suri keeps insisting that she's the most beautiful thing ever?

One of the most beautiful babies I've ever seen! Really! Honest!

Chalk one up for the Suri-Is-Deformed conspiracy theorists.

I, too, met the baby. She's "awesome", just like her mom. Except within minutes of making eye contact with it I'm pretty sure my husband's dick shriveled up & crawled back into his body cavity and my tits fell off.
Go figure.

Anybody in Hollywood that needs a quick $10k is invited to Tom's house to report to the media that they've seen Suri. Hey Tom, for $10k I'll come over and give my 2 cents about Suri and while I'm at it, I'll spring Katie from the "Cruise Clink".

I think they say beautiful, just to be nice.

I found the latest video of Baby Suri - awww, she is just so sweet!! Check it out at the link below......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLmhGb4ZdZo

LOL Toilet Duck!

I don't think she she is pretty at all. She looks cross-eyed sometimes. Penelope looks like a greasy crack whore.

Anyway, it's just a conspiracy. There really is no baby (if there is, it has to be an alien baby. No way would gay Tom have sex with Katie Holmes). Tom is just plain insane and is a publicity attention whore. The nurse who signed the birth certificate never saw the baby. TCLTC

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======= So she saw Suri, huh? Yeah right.

Wasn't she in st tropez? Anyway Tom can afford to put a lot of people on his payroll. ====== See these comments have to be timed just right. Go tom! Weirdo.

actually 21 she looks more like a wet rat, no?

One celebrity that has seen her reported, "she has snakes hair and if you look her in the eye, you turn to stone"

I think she's gorgeous, but I don't believe her.

This is just more of Tom's attention hungry antics... He gets people to say the baby is cute so Suri will continue to be in the news.

I think we should boycott Suri!!!! We should fight Tom Cruise by refusing to talk about her!!!

That'll show him.......

#11

You catch on quick. I like that in a suicidal.

WHO THE HECK CARES?????????

God just look at that retarded face, she's so damn goofy looking and her shity english accent makes me want to stab my ears with flaming hot shishkabobs.

The baby is "breathtaking", in a Seinfeld sort of way.

#23 Wet rat or not, she's ugly and a terrible actress.

#24 LOL

Here is some great footage of the delivery room when little Suri was born - a lot of nurses running around the ER, but altogether looks like a typical Scientology birth and everything came out OK...enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK79aAyqZQ4

Okay, I see we have an asshole among us who is signed on as me....20, 18, 14 and 12.

I took the most magnificent dump this morning. Really, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It was. To top off my morning of beauty, both of my kids had absolutely breathtaking bowel movements as well. They are so special.

jrzmommy, i thought that 18 sounded a lot like someone-who-shall-not-be-named, and not at all like you.

Paz Vega, the chick from Spanglish, is what an attractive Penelope Cruz is supposed to look like. Penelope has been dogged by lezzie rumors for years, and I do not find it coincidental that she's "dated" Tommy "cocklover" Cruise and Matthew "bongoballs" McConnahey - two dudes who have had their heterosexuality questioned over the years. She's just going above and beyond in order to win Beard of the Year award handed out by GLAAD.

Suri thinks of Katie Holmes as "the mother ship."

She's got the empty-headed gaze of Nancy Reagan, playing her finest role, perhaps the lowly cow in the manger witnessing the Virgin Birth or maybe listening to one of the Gipper's speeches - more like she's wondering why she can't find a man who is truly interested in her womanly parts...

So, Suri is a metaphor for Scientology? Only rich, famous people can see her? Is she the SciMessiah?

You know who I'd believe if he said Suri existed? Larry the Cable Guy.

http://www.reidaboutit.com/blog.htm

@34: Thanks Mrs. T.

"I pity the fool who impersonates me"

39--fake jrzmommy, that's actually kinda cute and upbeat. At least you're not being a psychopath today.

There has got to be something wrong with this child. These people are trying too hard to convince us that she's beautiful.

As for special, I now a lot of special people. They ride the short bus to school...

Shouldn't the headline read : Penelope Cruz EATS Suri? I mean, I though they had pieces of the kids stored in the meat locker to share with their friends.

I think Suri Cruise just may well be C'Thulu....

Funny it's Tom's few close personal friends who insist that Suri is just absolutely beautiful, yet that natural-food clerk in Telluride said she was "funny-looking". Speaking of that guy, has anyone checked up on him since he said that? I wouldn't be surprised if we learn that he has mysteriously disappeared, and when police went to his home to investigate there appeared to have been scuffle and all they found was some weird green blobs and a broken tentacle.

44--and a copy of "Dianetics".

Coincidence >>> Above Penelopes rat faced photo, there has been an "Are TomKat breaking up" ad - and a "Which Baby Name Do You Like Best, Shilo - Suri - Apple" ad. Those google/superficial guys are on the ball today!

I love how all the celebs whine and bitch about how people stalk their babies to get photos.

If they'd just act like NORMAL parents, there wouldn't be a problem. Hell, when I was born, Mom and Dad were giving photos of me to everyone including the friggin grocery bag guy. I can guarantee that no one needed to stalk them to get photos! ;)

Why do her comments sound like something careful crafted by a PR person? Is she trying to sound sincere so TC will cast her in his next cinematic crapfest?

Seems to me Mr. Cruise is a sensitive chap. We already know he has a pack of lawyers going around the internet to hunt down people who say unfavorable things about him. Maybe his lawyers got hold of TheSuperficial and now he is trying to convince everyone he has a child.

Maybe you guys should say he wears a wig. Maybe he will keep brushing and pulling his hair to convince the world he doesn't wear a wig. That would make him look totally sane.

http://www.BadBreakups.net

RE Suri: maybe it takes about 6 months for her human face to come in, you know, like teeth.

RE P. Cruz: Eh, I've seen her look better. She needs to clean off the eyeliner, she's using enough for 3 women. As for her mental state, she did find Tom Cruise attractive at some point, so deduct points there. But she cut him loose before he managed to implant her uterus with his demon spawn, so add points there. So she comes out at about +1.

I too, am missing Lohan news, but not because I want to see her T&A, but because I want to see just how far down she can go, so to speak, before we get the statement that she's checked in to rehab. Maybe she and Mel can commiserate about how much it sucks to be rich and famous and persecuted by the Jews.

how come all the people that have seen suri are the ones who haven't been in the public eye for quite sometime. except for katie & tom

HA. like scientologists know a baby when they see one. yes, kelly preston, this is our child (cut to bassinett with mirror in it) -- oh! she's beautiful! (voice over - she looks just like me!)

yes, leah remini, this is our child.
"holy crap she's beautiful!"

and so on until everyone brings her all their body thetans and she is fit for sacrificing.

I'll say it again, as I did the last time Penelope was on the 'fish: She reminds me of a chihuahua. A yappy little, scampering ankle biter.

Oh my yes, I totally believe this. Most people who see a 4 month old baby say they "MET" her. And what exactly makes her "special", that she has horns and a spikey tail??? The only thing that would make this MORE believable is if she would have used that tired old TC speak, "she's amazing!!"
Lame.. Here's what happened, they read all the shit about Leah being a not-so-credible-d-list-scientologist, so he called his ex and for the second time in her life (the first being his "girlfriend" way back when) she cashed a big fat check from TC for lying. The End!

So lets get this straight, Katie's parents haven't seen their grandchild yet, but we're supposed to believe that her Husbands Ex Girlfriend....who is also a scientologist, has seen the kid? yeah....I believe that about as much as I believe that Tom Cruise DOESN"T love the cock.

i hear those crazy bastards are getting married this weekend....

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

Does Lord Tom-Tom seriously think that anyone is going to take his ex-beard's statement seriously? Especially since she was rumored to be at least partly involved in Scientology.

Who the hell says they "met" a baby? When it's walking and babbling and so forth, you can say that -- they've learned how to be sociable by then. Most people don't, but you can. But when the kid's biggest achievment is grinning gummily at random objects, you say "Oh, I saw Marlene's baby today, she's got a cowlick and big blue eyes, big feet, blah blah blah."

Funny how all these people say the exact same phrases about Suri. And it's fairly weird that Suri has no real characteristics except "lots of dark hair" (perhaps atavistic fur?) and changing coloured eyes -- it's never "she has a heart-shaped face, the cutest little mouth, and she does this and that and blah blah blah." It's like they're describing a photo.

First it's suspicious that nobody has seen her, so they trot out a loyal Scienobot to assure the public how "amazing" Suri is. Nobody gives a damn, because everyone knows she's a Scientologist. So they trot out Cruz, apparently believing that people will believe her. Right. I'm waiting to see how the Scienobots will try to top this, when nobody believes Penelope.

Does anyone remember that cloning scandal a few years back? They claimed they cloned a baby, gave all these details -- and refused to show her. Of course, the kid didn't exist. I guess Scientology is the new Clonaid.

And I agree with that other poster -- the "baby's" grandparents haven't seen it, yet somehow I'm supposed to take Penelope Cruz's word that all is normal? When Mr. and Mrs. Holmes say so, without codewords, THEN I'll believe it.

Oh and I also think that they are protesting too much. They all have to assure us that she's soooooo beautiful, THE most beautiful baby ever. Because obviously Scientologists could NEVER have an ugly deformed baby.

Okay, last time, but from the Fish guy's comment, I just can't stop imagining Tom singing, "I cut down trees, I skip and jump,/I like to press wild flowers./I put on women's clothing,/And hang around in bars!"

Seriously, it wouldn't surprise me.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES AT TMZ:

After stating yesterday that she has seen Suri Cruise, Penelope Cruz has since turned a 180 and is now refusing to talk about the baby anymore.

"I'm not going to talk about that anymore," she says of her Suri sighting, "I answered that yesterday and I'm not going to talk about it in detail because I really protect the people that I love."

Cruz, who dated Tom for three years, said Thursday the spawn of TomKat was "one of the most beautiful babies I've ever seen." In today's interview, Penelope blamed a lapse in judgment for her outburst of Suri details. "It's important to keep living life as an observer and not just feel like you're being the thing observed because then you start looking at yourself from the outside instead of really alert...I forget people are looking at me in a situation like that, like yesterday."

It's too bad she didn't just come out. Another hot lesbian is what we need.

So if she protects the people she loves, that probably extends to lying for them.

Yeah sure, I would really like to believe that your baby is more beautiful and special than mine. Because you guys are "actors".

I've got 50 large that says my baby is better looking than yours Tommy boy. Care to take the bet? Does Suri have your deformed nose, Katie's droopy eyes, or both?

Ah these actors...your kids are just so much better than everyone else's aren't they.

I hope that alien baby didn't infect her, I kind of like Penelope Cruz...besides that whole Tom Cruise phase she went through for publicity.

Penelope is a freak. She moves from man to man with each movie.

Suri Cruise - The modern day snipe hunt..

"I saw one, it was the most beautiful and special snipe ever... It look just like TomKat..."

TCLTC more than anyone...

#57 - They say "met" because this baby is "special"... It is the re-incarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. And no, I ain't shittin' you. It really is... Just ask Tom, he will answer once he gets that cock out his mouth...

Who gives a shit what religion they are? Religion isn't a superficial aspect of a human. Has anyone stopped to notice that Penelope Cruz looks like a chihuahua? Buggy eyes, sticks for limbs...She's ridiculous!

67 - When she came by their house she shouted...

Yo quiero, Suri Cruise! Arf!!!

Oh, what do you mean religion? Since when is Scientology a religion? Space aliens shat in a volcano and released (Tifanny Amber?) Thetans into the world that now haunt the rich and famous? Please send your check to...

Hello... CULT ANYONE? Pass the KoolAid TomKat...

#43 - Sorry for the late reply but your reference is AWESOME... CThulu SAVES!!

i think the original plan was to fake the pregnancy and adopt a baby born at the same time. something went wrong with the adoption, and now they're treading water until they find a kid who is the right age and that would look like a cruise baby.

i still think katie's baby belly was the strangest thing i've ever seen. i'm willing to reconsider that comment after suri pics are released.

#71

When that theory first came out, I thought it was pretty far-fetched but now... They've really got to have a good reason for not showing the baby to anyone but loyal Scientologists. Is she deformed? Does she even exist? Is Tom terrified of engrams attacking her? We may never know...

i can't be bothered looking this up so maybe someone else can tell me - is it true that it was reported that tom was looking to sell piccies but couldn't get half the amount photos of Shiloh did so retracted the offer? if so, how does that fit with the excuse that scientology calls for kiddies to be hidden?

I can't help but think of the movie The Ring when I hear the name Suri. It sounds like some girl who is going to attack me out of my TV from a well. Creeeepy.

Scientology in nothing more than speed-dating for gays so obviously Suri does not exist. I'm sure the baby they bought for PR reasons alone is just on back-order.

63, you forgot the freakishly huge gums and teeth they both share. If Suri exists, she probably started gnawing people's fingers off with her giant white grin.

wow she hell of ugly

they zapped that poor alien with their home ultrasound machine.. that's why we haven't seen her.. well plus the fact that she never existed in the first place.. but i hear tell tom called up mel to offer condolences and to get parenting tips.. www.stingybitches.com/blog/

they zapped that poor alien with their home ultrasound machine.. that's why we haven't seen her.. well plus the fact that she never existed in the first place.. but i hear tell tom called up mel to offer condolences and to get parenting tips.. www.stingybitches.com/blog/

SO PENELOPE IS STILL UNDER CONTRACT TO MR. CRUISE.

SAME FOR NICOLE WHO A MERE 2 MONTHS BEFORE HER WEDDING WAS REQUIRED TO GO ON THE COVER OF WOMEN'S WEEKLY TO SAY HOW MUCH SHE STILL LOVED TOM AND WHAT A GREAT GUY HE WAS.

IS.

OF COURSE THE COINCIDENCE WITH HIS NEW MOVIE WAS JUST ACCIDENTAL.

NOW PENELOPE HAS TO SIN HER SOUL AND SAY THAT SHE SAW A NON-EXISTENT BABY.

ANYONE ELSE WISHES TO DOUBT TOM CRUISE'S POWER??

AND YES, TCLTC....

Penelope Cruz spent 9 months inside a horse before she was born to the world.

Does ANYBODY have pics of Penelope without make-up? I bet it is a train wreck.