poor, poor natalie portman.

she looks like she's trying to cast a spell on them, but accidently dyed her hair the wrong color.

She has seriously short arms.
Is she supposed to be good looking?

Those pictures are funny... is she rapping again?

Those pictures are funny... is she rapping again?

Do not fuck with that hair-do. Priceless.

She looks like she may be a little drunk.

Natalie! Don't follow the light!

still hot.

Is it me or does that hairline start a little far back. I don't know she's all right looking for a jew. Most jewish broads are ugly. I'd let her give me a rusty trombone.

(pic #5)
I didn't know she knew the Westside gang signs........

Cute and a little kooky? I think I'm in love with Nat.
http://genosworld.blogspot.com/

Cute and a little kooky? I think I'm in love with Nat.
http://genosworld.blogspot.com/

That's her angry look?? She needs to take lessons from Arquette!

Where is her paparazzi towel? You can't yell at the paparazzi without a towel.

Oh look honey, it's the Heat Meiser from A Year Without A Santa Claus!!

2--VERY FUNNY

In a related story, Keanu Reeves asked a piece of driftwood for acting tips.

It's Celeb Vs. Paparazzi week!

http://www.VeryLiberating.com

It's Celeb Vs. Paparazzi week!

http://www.VeryLiberating.com

It's Celeb Vs. Paparazzi week!

http://www.VeryLiberating.com

She's beautiful and intelligent and I feel bad for her.

C a n t. T y p e. W i t h. O n e. H a n d.
G o i n g
T o
P o r n
S i t e

#17..18..19... I've got a "SoftBlueGlow" around my nutsack.

She cute and all, but I bet she's one of those chicks with a hairy butt crack.

@22 When should we start the funeral arrangements, I'm getting restless. Nobody likes you remember? Get it over with, please.............

#23, if your name reflects your age, then you fall in the category of men with age > 40, that means you have really nasty smelling nuts.

And celebrities fight back! I've never really cared for candid shots myself, so, I'm happy to see the press take a little beatdown.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

What is with all these women wearing sweaters, turtlenecks, etc. in the middle of summer? Celebs are going nuts on the paparazzi because of temporary insanity due to heat stroke.

#24 If I may be so bold as to direct your attention to (#106 Lindsay Lohan/Paris Hilton pic) & (#39 Christie Brinkley pic) I'm trying to make amends!

HOLY FIVE HEAD. Israel is looking to get her angry ass over there so it can deflect the bombs baby.

27--I was thinking the same thing, but then I thought that maybe Argentina is in a different hemisphere so it might not be summer for them.

O.k., #25, my bad. She's in Buenos Aires. Damn my inability to read in this heat!

And I'm a reading teacher :) Scary, huh?

Damn, and I meant to reference myself as #27, not number 25. Crap, I'm going to sit naked in front of an open refrigerator until my brain cells stop withering.

Bye :)

@28 Where did we fail you? You fucker, now I have to take back the flowers, and I do believe they don't have a refund policy for Funeral bought flowers. Asshole, I'm sending you the bill bitch!!!!!

P.S. What was your address again, I forgot.........

TEH SUPERAZZI!

#33 stop smoking crack...put down the pipe, quick

Last picture--Garra de la Muerte de Buenos Aires MWAHAHAHAHA

I thought it was the heat, but it could be the crack...I'll take the advice.

I'm still gonna sit in front of the fridge...

Last picture--Garra de la Muerte de Buenos Aires MWAHAHAHAHA

#34 Stallion, you can still send the flowers, I need a new centerpiece!

What the fuck with the multi-posts?

#34 Stallion, you can still send the flowers, I need a new centerpiece! (Yo Adrian, it's me Rocky)

I am the king of Multi-posts. Bow before me.

http://www.VeryLiberating.com - Anonymous Confessions and Photos

#28- You're alive?!?!

Damn. I wanted to see my suicide idea on the news. :(

that's crazy! i had no idea i had something in common with natalie portman...sometimes my balls get blonde and crazy!!

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

balls.

she was hairy when i crackfucked her

she was hairy when i crackfucked her

she was hairy when i crackfucked her

When I was at Harvard, I also smoked weed every day.

Natalie Portman, to me, is about as intriguing as listening to my boss describe his prostate exam while trying to stare down my shirt.

we had sex three times : )

42 it's adrienne i think. adrian would be a man.

#50 Pinky, I am staring down ur shirt and I like what I see....can I touch them?

Life in Argentina is hard for the paparazzi. starving photographers! They need some meat, especially when stars aren't going out if they don't look Hot Hot Hot!!! Might I recommend a joint and some eye drops, instead?

#44 Sorry to disappoint! There still may be a time...

that's a cute little boy, why is he so mad?

I made some toast this morning, and in the center of one piece, an image of Natalie Portman appeared, much like the images of the Blessed Virgin Mary that appear to people across the world. Instead of erecting a shrine and lighting candles, then notifying the press and the Vatican of this miracle, I simple put some jelly on her face and ate it. I really like toast, especially Natalie portman toast.

@53 Fugurself: You are one horny self today, aren't you?

If you were to look at my tits, you would drop down on your knees and thank the Lord for creating something so perfect and beautiful, that even He had to take a day off to rest and enjoy them.

Pinky_nip
How do you prefer your pussy lickers? Virgin or more experienced?

@58, I don't know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Who knows the escort line in Boston?

Hey Fisher55, I though I told you to kill yourself months ago? Go read some of the posts from yesterday regarding ImSuicidal, take good notes & proceed with doing the world a favor.

Natalie Portman is so boring, who gives a fuck. probably just got a hold of some angel dust, or fun dip.

@58, I don't know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

@58, I don't know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

@58, I don't know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

@58, I don't know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

@58, I don't know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

@58, I don't know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

@15 It's not the Heat Mizer it's Bergermeister Meisterberger.

@59: I'm an equal opportunity employer.

I don't want to bring up old tidings, but over on the Lindsay v Paris pic, #116 needs a butt reaming

Fugurself--7 times--I think you just got the Server Fuck Up Multi Post record! Wow. You win a beer!

Sorry guys, there is something seriously wrong with the server. Piece of crap

Thank you. She was such a polite stripper in Closer.

71 You're drunk then, right? Oh wait, this was a server fuck up.

73--HUH?

WHAT THE HELL?!?! AGAIN WITH A SWEATER!!!

@34 Pissing myself. "Where did we fail you?" I'm asking myself the same question.

@13, 22, 28, 40, 42, 55.

I hope I am speaking for the whole group when I say to you; we do not appreciate your futile attempt to gain attention by lying. You said you were going to kill yourself and we gave you all the tools necessary. Fuck we even gave you access to a website that shows you how. And some of us bought you flowers. I'll even volunteer as a Pall Bearer, what I'm not going to do is just sit back and let you 'Wuss Out'. Listening to you blubber about wanting to fit in changing your story "Hey guys I don't know you, but can I join your club, I never wanted to commit suicide I just wanted to fit in, because I'm a misfit just like you guys."

Hint Ass-wipe: We are not mistfits and we are not going to let you off that easy. You can't be like, "Oh I want to die, can you help me?' and then pretend like you never really wanted to die. That's horseshit, and we are not falling for it we know you want to die and we are there for you until the end. Don't worry you came to the right place.

And to show my concern (Pushes out of the room) here is a ten dollar bill go to the store and buy some crazy glue and cheese wire...

...we are all extremely excited to never hear from you ever again, do not let us down.

With Love,

Hopeless

#76 You must be that "bogus" hopeless... when The REAL one logs in, then I leave (taking your tenner with me!)

Jacq--whispering-- think we decided to let Portman slide on the sweater because we think Argentina is in a different hemisphere and it's not technically summertime there. But we're still taking snide remarks about the hair and the claw of death coming to get her.

@77 You're right that was the 'bogus' Hopeless. The real hopeless wants to come over to your house and listen to Journey, Air Supply, and Chicago and play suck-and-blow with you with a razor-blade.

#76 did I say "tenner", I meant sawbuck!!!

@77 You're right that was the 'bogus' Hopeless. The real hopeless wants to come over to your house and listen to Journey, Air Supply, and Chicago and play suck-and-blow with you with a razor-blade.

#25 I guess you must have a hairy ass crack...
And no, it does not refect my age ;)

#25 I guess you must have a hairy ass crack...
And no, it does not refect my age ;)

But my spelling does, argh!!! reflect,reflect..

She must have to keep a terrifc sense of humor most of the time. I figure once in a while when you feel like giving a swift round house to the face of someone blinding you with flashes as they take your picture on a bad hair day you are entitled to be a bit grumpy.

Perhaps some sex jokes to lighten the mood?

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/sex-jokes.htm

@ 79 Hopeless: LOL!! Journey, air supply, awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!! I hope she doesn't think the song "open arms" is a reference to the gang bang on the Brinkely thread. Thanks for making up for the shitty threads yesterday

She is the most cutest little thing eva!

#57. I should impersonate you more often, you could use the help, fucktard. But, I'm too busy to cover for you. Meh.

#77, 81. The "real" hopeless is too busy giving deep throating lessons to PapaHotNuts, listening to Cher, and experimenting with hot wax and nipple stapling.

#76. STFU, fucking lametard! Don't make me break out the cheese grater again, ass munch!

HAHAHAHA..girlfriend looks like she's gonna bust some ass.

I like it.

Natalie has always confused me. She's both weird looking and sexy at the same time. I see one pic, and she's hot. I see another, and she looks like a cracked out Winona Ryder.

Pssssssst..@78..bitch shold not be allowed to get away with her turtle-bucket sweater.

I don't care if she's doin' the tango down in the Pampas.

THE
BANANA
IS
BACK

FOR
ALL
YOU
NEWBIES
JANES EYRE
IS
SLUM
.

REMEMBER
WHEN
YOU
WERN'T
FAMOUS
NATALIE?

NataLIE.

She looks like a maniac.

I love it how one day out of the blue they just freak out like that. I mean they take it every day of the year but there's always one day when they just go nuts and start hitting people even if they are standing a fair ammount of feet away from them.

I guess the SNL gangsta rap gave her a taste of being angry...

She doesn't look anger *at all*. More "after the jump"

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

Stop saying "after the jump"... seriously. It's annoying, and should be embarrassing for you if you'd just think about it for a moment. This is a blog, it's NOT "big media"... stop trying to go backwards.

Boy, you ain't gonna drop this "after the jump jump" thing anytime soon are ya'? :)

as tempting as it is...

don't feed the troll.

People who put big line breaks in their posts are attention whores. *cough lamebananas! *cough* herbiefrog! *cough* datter! *cough cough*
Somebody have a Riiiiicolaaaaa?

why is she running like steve austin?
as in the slo mo action scenes in "six million dollar man"?

OFF TOPIC OFF TOPIC

hey, any fellow dorks/nerds, etc.

jimmy doohan's ashes are heading for space in october.
just saw that on the news.
bon voyage, scotty.

go ahead, rip me a new one. it's more interesting than most of today's posts.

So ban me, but "after the jump" is a symptom of this blog (and others) taking itself way too seriously.

Looove her.

@100..sad yet great news, may his engines always have enough power.

He died well.

amen, barbado.

@100 Holy dog biscuits is this my lucky night or what? Two threads in a row where Bunnyhugger writes something completely fucktarded and then sits and waits for hours for a response. Are you getting the patheticness of your existence yet. And what's more pathetic is that I'm going to shave my balls and masturbate with a cheesegrater. I say the most ridiculous crap ever. I need to be shot in the face repeatedly with wax coated bullets. I suck. I completely suck. I need to die immediately.

This is boring. You guys all suck. Be back later. HEHEHEHEHEHE

So Natalie turns blonde when she's angry?

@101 And you getting your panties in a bind are symptomatic of you taking this (and other) blogs way too seriously. But whatever. Fight the good fight, precious. And we don't ban here, we assume your screen name and make you say bad things about yourself.

"I became a movie star so I can live a private life" With her hair like that she looks like a total eclipse. What do cameramen say to piss off everyone?

Paparozzi; Yo bitch, your ass is looking particularly boney today.

Movie Star; I'm gonna Sean Penn you.

Paparozzi; Nice head, you look like a total eclipse.

Movie Star; That's it! It's Naomi Campbell time!

Paparozzi; Click! Click!

Tomorrows headline; Movie Star with total eclipse head goes super nova on camera dude. (picture by Johnny Paparozzi)

Like, I am a human bidet, plying my trade orally cleansing bung holes at truck stops.

I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING, I USED TO LIKE NATALIE PORTMAN, BUT I DON'T LIKE HER HITTING OUR PAPARAZZIS... I LIVE IN ARGENTINA, NOT IN BUENOS AIRES, BUT NEARBY... AND I THINK SHE NEEDS TO DO A LIL THINKING IN HER UGLY BLOND HEAD, WE ARE NOT IN LOS ANGELES DARLING, I HERE IF YOU HIT A PHOTOGRAPHER YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE... YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT...

AND I THINK SHE GOT INTO BIG TROUBLE FOR THAT... SO SAYS "JORGE RIAL" A BIG JOURNALIST IN THE SHOWBUSS....

ANYWAYS... AMIDALA NEEDS TO PUT HER CLAWS AWAYS... HIT YOUR PAPPARAZZIS... BITCH!

SASSY OUT!

She's still fine, and I'd like to feed it to her.

Haven't seen Natalie Portman like this before. She seems like a really nice person. She must have acted this way because she was drunk, not to mention paparazzis are also very annoying too. :(

She is only angry because she flew to Buenos Aires to stop Gael from getting married, I'm guessing the plan isn't working...

I see from the photos above (gerbil-creature waving it's arms about) and the many repeat posts that we have actually entered Groundhog Day.

We shall be stuck here now forever looking at the same 'news' and backstabbing posts until we all get it right.

So, does that mean more bitching, or less?

PS - where is my troll? I want my own troll.

late as usual... anyway #10

actually pic 5 looks more like she's doin a devil's horns 'cept that the goat seems to have it's head down munching grass [surely there's a pun in there somewhere]. ...and on pic b4, did she spill some white sauce on her jumper surely if it was cum she'd have noticed where it went? Still... cute.

awww christ, still?

So #105 faux hopeless is really Hotplate face. How nice, poking a bitch at someone for no reason yet no ability to comment on the celeb. That's sad that you sucked your moms ass as hotplate face and now your sucking terribly as faux hopeless. I thought I told you to get a life.

#118 BreakingWind: I do not sign on as other people, fucker. I have one identity, hotplateface. Quit obsessing over me.

And where the hell is jrzmommy, I miss her witty observances today, must've had to run to the store to pick up her viginia slims and monistat.

Hmm, the words "Quit obsessing over me" sound suspiciously like lamebananas.

@110 Nice try, troll.

#120: Why don't you go suck up some ants with your aardvark nose.

I'll quit obessing over you (as if) when you stop being a fucktard and attacking posters for no reason other than you're 12 year old pimp wanna be. What's the matter - your mom not give you your take on last nights action? Speaking of obession - still got a rock hard on for jrzmommy? Seriously, she's just not that into you.

Yes, I believe those are the same words that lamebananas used. I'm sorry that you're so mad that people keep on figuring out who you are, but maybe if you weren't always such a prick you'd be able to hide a little bit better. You probably account for 99% of the trolls on this site. You are a busy little bugger, aren't you? Pity you have nothing better to do than think up new nicknames to log in under, when you aren't ripping off someone else's. Oh well, buck up precious, maybe someday somewhere will like you just as you are.

#122+123: LADIES & GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT TO YOU THE TWO BIGGEST LOSERS ON THE SUPERFICIAL.

IN THIS CORNER WEIGHING IN AT 320 LBS IS THE EVER UNFUNNY AND SMELLY "BREAKING WIND"

AND IN THIS CORNER WEIGING IN AT 250 LBS (200 BEING IN THE CENTER OF HER FACE) BUTT-ASS UGLY JANE'S ERROR.. JANE BEING HER MOTHER'S NAME

Now you two can spoon away.. Jane smelling your farts, breaking wind.

But Hotplate - I only have my obession over you. But please stop confusing me with your fat ass mom.
BTW - learn to spell - the wiggers will appreciate you better.

Wow, lamebananas, et al, that's one snappy comeback. If you don't have anything logical and/or factual to say, JUST TYPE IN CAPS AND SAY WHATEVER YOUR PEABRAIN CAN OOZE OUT, AND MAYBE SOMEONE WILL REALLY TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE EVERYONE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION.

Shitface!!! It's you? Where ya been, douchebag? Grounded? Okay, well, run along and finish decaptiating your sister's Barbies before I get that Claw of Death in the last picture to come and git ya, you little cunt.

K, I'm all funned out on feeding the troll. Sorry, everyone else, sometimes when you see a big ugly bug you just gotta smash it, ya know?

i guess this is the kind of shit that goes down during the summer. junior high is closed and the kiddos have nothing better to do than raid the superfish. dont you have puppies to kick you evil 13 year old pubescent troll?

#125: You bitch at me about spelling, yet, I'm trying to figure out what this word means in your ramblings: obession

Fuckstick.

#127&128: You two are so fucking hilarious! You're regular Rowan & Martin's.

I just LOVE all the "mommy" references and that I'm 13 years old.. classic comedy!

And so appropriate, because you two could only match wits with a 13 year old.

SO
NICE
TO
SEE
YOU'RE
BACK
.
.
.
.
.
SHITHEAD!

(Done feeding the Troll for the day...)

@128 It's kind of like when children see a big ugly nose and run for their lives. Quick question. Was Gonzo your favorite muppet growing up?

That pic hardly looks like Natalie Portman. For all we know it can be some hooker there that looks like her and they're just trying to get some press for their pathetic little country. I find it really really hard to believe that Natalie Portman would flip like that. Ivy leaguer and all... But I guess even the intelligent have their days, am I right? :)

Shitface, we told you to go away.

What the fuck? Is Superfish Guy on vacation this week? Throw us a frikkin' bone, here, beeyach!

#135: Once again, awesome comeback! I nearly wet myself with your humor!

And since when are you the BOSS of Free Speech?

do they call you hotplateface because of your acne or because of the fact that your mommy liked to discipline you by grabbing your retarted head and fucking frying your face? which one?

don't fuck with jrz bitch.

I don't need to make witty comebacks to you. You're an annoying little puke and nobody likes you.

Did anyone else get the troll firewall is in place warning?

i can remember a time when attacking fellow posters was funny. when the cooler people got involved. namely me. and oshie, and papa, and mamacita, and of course our ever present punching bag.. megman harris.

watching you guys fight is like watching
saved by the bell: the new class.

sure itll kill half an hour, but at the end of that half hour, you wanna kill yourself.

hotplateface stay fuck cheesiemommy n her big nose sucking up all the black mans air friend, fuck them both one of my friends told me to come here cause this site is funny but she did say watch out for these two bitches that fuck everyting up by posting all da fucking time n now i see what she was talking about i might actually never come back but i might stay just to fuck wit these dumbfucks

@140
No, what did it say? Are they going to actually DO something about it? That would be a relief. Then maybe the 'fish would be fun again, like it was before they showed up.

141-- and you.

Okay, I'm so bored that it's come to this...

Did you know that "hotplateface" rearranged spells - "hot fecal pate"?

As in, hotplateface enjoys a savory cracker topped with hot fecal pate.

I didn't know the original Saved by the Bell was funny.

I tried to post some links from the Flame Warriors site so the current prepubescent troll could reach a better understanding of just how sad and overdone he/she/its behavior is, but I got a message saying it was being monitored. Must be just because it had more than one link...it took three to cover all the bases with this one.

http://www.flamewarriors.com/

Pertaining Warriors:
ALLCAPS
Enfant Provocateur
Troller

yeah Ez but that was also when the superfish guy was funny. its all gone to hell. everybody on here deserves a landbeating.

jane, i was wondering if anyone would notice that, congratulations.

*gives jane some balloons and a giant check for a penny.

Add Ennui to the list for those who won't stop whining about how boring it is here.

#149 -- I agree. If you look back on the archives, the stuff is frickin' hilarious. But now [yawn], just not funny. The fighting is more entertaining then the stories.

btw - i heard "Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton. Before I knew it was her singing, I actually liked the song. Now I have to kill myself...

EzEEE-- so you're pretty proud that you started posting here before some of us....You're like the big Mahat becaue YOU had pissing contestes with other commenters before some of us. I got news for ya, being cavalier about something like that is pretty much the definition of gay. It is.

I just think Superfish Owner Dude has a sadistic sense of humor and likes to see ya'all whine about being bored before he whips out the latest. SOD is a cocktease.

152--if you really want to kill yourself, Snarkywood was a piece on the Huff that made me want to gouge out my eyes.

I'd still hit that, angry or not.

153- no its not about timing its about being entertaining. but i know thats something you cant quite understand.

spatz wtf is a landbeating? is that a smacking with landmans humongous cock?

156--so when you exchanged crude insults with people as junk food for YOUR mind it was insightful, cutting-edge and awe inspiring prose and the rest of us are just exchanging crude insults? Okay, Shakespere.

it sure is.

158-
the difference between you and me is far too vast for a short comment.

WHY are YOU capitalizing RANDOM words FUCKFACE?

i wonder how many times youve pushed refresh while waiting for a response.

160--The difference between you and me is that I really could give a fuck less about this website and the comments made here other than it's an interesting boredom breaker while you really seem to believe it has been your personal showcase for all of your cleverness. Speaking of hitting refresh buttons, you're pretty quick with a rebuttal, too. What's your secret, if you're not hitting a refresh button?

I would hit it until i collapsed.

I guess celebs wish they had a license to kill paparazzi. If you gave them one though, it would only lead to them demanding an extension to cover... fans, vagrants , children etc....

She must really like that sweater. It's the same one she wore on her date with Jake:

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/06/01/jake_gyllenhaal_and_natalie_po.html

I'd hit it (the refresh key, that is).

i like when celebrities freak out at the people who take the pictures of them for the people who are buying the magazines who are the people who are paying their entire salaries. acting is 100% easy and it takes 0 hard work. i dont care what anyone says, acting is simple, all those people who are freaking out at papparazzo, your life is simple, their life of taking pictures is much harder than yours. leave them alone. also, fuck you.

#70 wtf?
oh... other thread...
no energy
fu