July 24, 2006
2006 Miss Universe passes out

18-year-old Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza from Puerto Rico won the 2006 Miss Universe title yesterday but fainted briefly (don't worry, somebody caught her as she fell) after a post-pageant news conference. She was wearing a dress made entirely of metal chains and had been standing under hot stage lights, although she quickly recovered after being given liquids.
If you saw the pageant it looked like Miss Japan was going to win, but then they announced Miss Puerto Rico and it was just confusing as hell. And above we've got Donald Trump looking really angry standing next to her which is also confusing as hell. You can't stand next to a woman that hot and look that angry. It's physically impossible. Unless you're a woman, in which case that's about the only face you can make. That and crying. Because seriously, next to her you might as well just cut off your face and call it a day.
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Comments
1. Posted by SoftBlueGlow on July 24, 2006 01:03 PM
Wouldn't YOU faint too if you were standing beside someone with hair like Donald Trump?
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
2. Posted by tits_on_snack on July 24, 2006 01:04 PM
LOLOLOLOL BCUZ GURLS R ALWAZ JELUS OF OTHR GURLS WHAT R HOTTER THAN THEM!@@!@!@!@
3. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on July 24, 2006 01:07 PM
Donald Trump looks soooo depressed in this picture. Maybe he needs a good prostate massage! This might release the constant brown nosers he usually enjoys-
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/prostate-massage.htm
4. Posted by jane's eyre on July 24, 2006 01:08 PM
I'm fascinated how her boobs are managing to stand up that perkily and closely together while wearing a dress made of chains. It's just a guess, but I'm thinking the answer might include the words, "silicone" and "implants". But that's just a guess.
5. Posted by jane's eyre on July 24, 2006 01:10 PM
But she's very gorgeous, in case someone was going to call me a "jealous hater".
6. Posted by pinky_nip on July 24, 2006 01:10 PM
Pass out? Shit, I'd kill myself if I found out part of my crown duties were to lick Trump's nutsack.
7. Posted by BarbadoSlim on July 24, 2006 01:11 PM
I like puertorican girls, and this one has a nice pair o'jugs. But I agree, the Japanese broad shoulda won.
*cue oriental gong in the background*
8. Posted by VanillaSalTyBaLLs on July 24, 2006 01:11 PM
That's one tasty set of zuleyka's she's sporting!!!!
9. Posted by sharkbite on July 24, 2006 01:13 PM
Boy, she has a lot of cleavage considering I don't think she's wearing a bra. I'm jealous.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
10. Posted by jrzmommy on July 24, 2006 01:13 PM
a dress made entirely of metal + heat from hot lights = OUCH--MY SKIN IS BURNING!!!
she is gorgeous, however, even if her ears are half the size of her head
11. Posted by SpecialAgentWind on July 24, 2006 01:13 PM
#6 That's just wrong to make me visualize Donalds nutsack - esp on a Monday. That's just wrong.
12. Posted by jhchan on July 24, 2006 01:17 PM
I was so disappointed by the pageant overall. The one host was trying, in vain, to quell the craziness that was Carson Kressley; it was so ridiculous.
Ms. Puerto Rico looks like a starved chihuahua; she = butter face..
Ms. Japan should have definitely won over her
13. Posted by Glossed Over on July 24, 2006 01:18 PM
Look at that frown Donald's sporting--even he thinks Miss Japan should have won.
http://glossedover.com
14. Posted by pinky_nip on July 24, 2006 01:20 PM
@11: Sorry 'bout that.
You know, I'm all for "fucking for dollars", but this dude could promise to shove diamonds in all my orifices, fuck me on a solid gold bar and I'd still rather rock the little man in the canoe by myself.
15. Posted by BarbadoSlim on July 24, 2006 01:21 PM
One thing about this pageant is that it's become a Donald Trump gig, I read he has final say on 5 semi-finalists and it's not hard to imagine he MIGHT have final say on who wins.
Zulkeyka and her tits looked as surprised as the rest of the world that she'd won.
16. Posted by Sheva on July 24, 2006 01:21 PM
It takes a village or a metal dress to support those lovely tatas on such a beautiful slender frame.
She's hot. Donald is angry cuz his wife is on the premises.
17. Posted by Diane on July 24, 2006 01:23 PM
There are sticky suction type bras that create cleavage like that while giving the impression that no bra is worn (no straps + back). Victoria's Secret sell those along side their "chicken cutlets" and the like.
Plus, most boobs in modeling and pageants are also assisted by some tape!
But yea, I'm glad Miss Puerto Rico won. She was the prettiest (although Japan was the smartest) plus Miss USA looked like a Jerry Springer guest attending their highschool prom. Eww!
18. Posted by SpecialAgentWind on July 24, 2006 01:27 PM
#14 Thats cool. I opted to visualize Melania giving Universe head - made it all warm and tingly.
19. Posted by jane's eyre on July 24, 2006 01:27 PM
@17
I think you are going to get some of the guys here excited with the words "sticky", "suction", and "cleavage". If I know the superfish guys at all.
20. Posted by RichPort on July 24, 2006 01:27 PM
The pageant is just the manner in which Trump picks his next wife. They'll be serving chicharones and platanos at his next business leaders dinner, as soon as he's done closing (BANG!) the (BANG!) deal (BANG!).
21. Posted by GossipMonkey on July 24, 2006 01:29 PM
I'm torn - I think she is beautiful, but kinda looks like a Bratz doll. But still beautiful, so I hate to say this - please tell me it's running makeup and not the Hilton Wonky Eye affliction...
22. Posted by BarbadoSlim on July 24, 2006 01:33 PM
Quick factoid: Puerto Rico has been a U.S. colonial posssession since they forcibly took it from Spain during the Spanish American War.
So it's pretty accurate to say that the US entry won.
The one that wasn't a refugee from a My Name's Earl episode.
23. Posted by PapaHotNuts on July 24, 2006 01:34 PM
She's Puerto Rican, so she probably stole that dress off a clothesline from her neighbor's shack.
24. Posted by BarbadoSlim on July 24, 2006 01:37 PM
Nah, she stole it from the American contestant's porta-potty next to the trailer she drove in on.
25. Posted by Jacq on July 24, 2006 01:42 PM
#4 - You mean that your boobs don't just magically float up and together? Weird.
#23 - It's made from chains - she stole the clothesline.
What was her talent? Riding a donkey?
Miss PR: The Donald had just made a rowdy caca in his Depends and the stench was overwhelming. So, I pass-out.
Interpreter: She's honored. She says she feels much better after being given "liquids."
26. Posted by Jacq on July 24, 2006 01:43 PM
#20 - I bet that's not all you can BANG!
27. Posted by pinky_nip on July 24, 2006 01:48 PM
How many people does it take to bury a Puerto Rican?
Five. One to lower the Puerto Rican, and four to lower the radio.
28. Posted by biatcho on July 24, 2006 01:49 PM
Wow, I am so relieved to hear that someone caught her. Because it would have been awful to read about how she passed out, fell on her head, broke her skull,and somehow her sternum, and then the dress cracked open exposing herpes soars and various other STD realted lesions on parts of her body she was trying to cover up.That story would have blown goats. This onwe was much better.
29. Posted by HarryNipples on July 24, 2006 02:04 PM
I can see her dirtypillows...
30. Posted by Italian Stallion on July 24, 2006 02:04 PM
I would knock the Rican out of this chick, then she will be Puerto Talian..............
Oh yea, and Trumps just pissed off that he didn't get to say "Your Fired".........
I hope I don't get charged for saying that.......
31. Posted by sometimesboy on July 24, 2006 02:15 PM
i recognize that posture and look on the donald's face...my two year old niece gets that same still, calm look of concentration while she's crapping her diaper...which explains why the pretty stick next to him passed out...
32. Posted by Zanna on July 24, 2006 02:25 PM
I have a tiara like that. It says 'BIRTHDAY GIR" on it because I got drunk and fell and broke off the L.
33. Posted by twzzlrgirl on July 24, 2006 02:27 PM
What's with these women who faint and won't take anything but liquids? If I faint, I want someone to administer mouth to mouth and then buy me a pizza.
And squeezing her breasts like that was probably cutting off the oxygen to her brain.
34. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on July 24, 2006 02:28 PM
I bet she feels pretty, oh so pretty, and witty and gay.
35. Posted by jrzmommy on July 24, 2006 02:30 PM
21--HA HA!! She DOES look like a Bratz doll. That's really funny.
36. Posted by YoMamma on July 24, 2006 02:35 PM
To me she looks like a rat-mouse. A rouse. Bred for their skills in...holy crap those are some big boobs.
37. Posted by PapaHotNuts on July 24, 2006 02:54 PM
Now Trump has new maid.
38. Posted by andrewthezeppo on July 24, 2006 02:59 PM
I like all this talk of "the Japanese girl should have won" mainly because its admitting that you watched the pagent....I hope you look forward to a life with your partner and cats
39. Posted by frangly on July 24, 2006 03:15 PM
Boobs too big. God but I hate implants.
40. Posted by Sassy on July 24, 2006 04:32 PM
Ya ya ya so she's got plastic tits and all. And The Dumpster, err, Trumpster looks as hot as ever. Hot like a sweaty ball sac.
41. Posted by Justin Igger on July 24, 2006 04:35 PM
@37 are you a caveman? cuz you sho do talk like one.
42. Posted by PapaHotNuts on July 24, 2006 04:42 PM
@41 Im Justin Eanderthal.
43. Posted by HarryNipples on July 24, 2006 05:12 PM
@41...
I'm Jack - Jack Meoff...
44. Posted by juuso89 on July 24, 2006 05:19 PM
maybe he's so angry looking 'cause earlier there was rumors suggesting that the latin TV network Telemundo demands Miss Universe 2006 to be hispanic...and that what just seems to be happened, unfortunately..! :(
45. Posted by Justin Igger on July 24, 2006 07:07 PM
@42 dats actually really funny yo, you funny yo, you funny
46. Posted by cibby on July 24, 2006 07:35 PM
I don't think she's got big boobs... I think they're squeezed together to make the cleavage more imposing...
47. Posted by Dragulf on July 24, 2006 07:41 PM
Alright you punks, stop bashing the pretty girl.
I lived in Puerto Rico for 12 years and the girls are all hotties! some are really blonde hotties! Blonde hiar and brown eyes! woot! and PR food is 500 times better than mexican food.
48. Posted by Spamboy on July 24, 2006 08:51 PM
Recipe: take 1 Miss Canada, place in metal dress, cook under stagelights for 365 days until collapsed, pour in cool water, and present Miss Universe 2006. Serves 1 (Donald Trump)
49. Posted by Search Engines WEB ♥ on July 24, 2006 09:09 PM
It would have been nice it Miss Japan would have won - to add more diversity to the Winners List
But it was vitually impossible to resist Miss Puerto Rico's chain Gown during the finalists
The gown ultimately won it
Was really suprised that Miss Trinidad did not win - She seemed to really give off an aura
Here are video archives of all the candidates - before they take it down
http://view.nowpublic.com/?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.missuniverse.com%2Fmainevent%2Findex.html
50. Posted by JollyJumjuck on July 24, 2006 09:11 PM
I think the Donald is mad because his trousers just became, er...well, you notice it's not a full body photograph. (And Zulie is probably thinking, "Oh thank God for that!")
51. Posted by outoftown on July 24, 2006 09:37 PM
her boobs are freaky.
#2 lol.
52. Posted by jFp on July 24, 2006 10:51 PM
caption
the Donald: "Her rack is...H U G E"
53. Posted by yourmomisgay on July 25, 2006 12:46 AM
i definitely agree miss japan should have won, although if you go to the main site, she doesn't look as cute in pictures as she does on camera.
miss china is way prettier.
54. Posted by stinkers on July 25, 2006 02:32 AM
I don't really think that she's all that gorgeous, she kind of looks like a baboon, or a Jackson.
And I wouldn't want to cut my face off if I was standing next to her, but I might want some sort of a painkiller because looking at her face gives me a headache.
55. Posted by slinkhard on July 25, 2006 03:50 AM
LOL, 2.
56. Posted by slinkhard on July 25, 2006 03:51 AM
LOL, 2.
57. Posted by AmberDextrose on July 25, 2006 04:18 AM
She very pretty, but v orange. I can't get my implants to wedge together like that! Remember, real tits are far more mushable!
Trumpy's just miserable cuz he can't see her. He had so many face lifts his eyes are just tiny dots.
58. Posted by AmberDextrose on July 25, 2006 04:19 AM
She very pretty, but v orange. I can't get my implants to wedge together like that! Remember, real tits are far more mushable!
Trumpy's just miserable cuz he can't see her. He had so many face lifts his eyes are just tiny dots.
59. Posted by flirty_girl15 on July 25, 2006 06:19 AM
Omgsh she isnt even that was gorgeous!! Why is everyone making such a big deal?! That will teach her next time to wear such a tight, boob-squezzzzzzzing dress.
The Miss Australia chick (being an aussie myself) was a bit disappointing. What a ditz. Live on Jennifer Hawkins - Miss Universe '05 of AUSTRALIA!!
60. Posted by joker13 on July 25, 2006 07:44 AM
That's the best they could do.omg.There were so many better looking girls on there!!
61. Posted by I hate herbiefrog on July 25, 2006 08:25 AM
Those aren't implants. She's got these: http://www.bustfreeusa.com or something close.
62. Posted by purplepuppy on July 25, 2006 11:17 AM
Those are definitely fake tits! Which is fine, but just kinda sad that such a young girl would have implants. Sort of sad when slim, pretty, teenagers aren't beautiful enough on their own anymore, gotta stuff that chest full of jelly!
p.s. I think Trump needs a laxitive or something, he's looking a little irritable.
63. Posted by purplepuppy on July 25, 2006 11:18 AM
Those are definitely fake tits! Which is fine, but just kinda sad that such a young girl would have implants. Sort of sad when slim, pretty, teenagers aren't beautiful enough on their own anymore, gotta stuff that chest full of jelly!
p.s. I think Trump needs a laxitive or something, he's looking a little irritable.
64. Posted by purplepuppy on July 25, 2006 11:56 AM
GRRRRRR! DANG THE DOUBLE POST!
65. Posted by tati on July 25, 2006 02:13 PM
COME ON! ms. paraguay was the most beautiful woman i have EVER seen and PORTO RICO WINS?! she looks like she went to the plastic surgeon and said "make me look like angelina jolie" and he gave her michael jackson instead.
BESIDES, shes EIGHTEEN! AND SHE'S MADE OF PLASTIC! do you want the woman that represents the universe to look like michael jackson with a vagina and plastic skin?! I SURE AS HELL DON'T!
66. Posted by purplepuppy on July 25, 2006 02:30 PM
@ #65
Tee-hee, you're funny!
67. Posted by tati on July 25, 2006 02:42 PM
#66
thanks =) hahahahahaahaha but everything i said it pure honesty!
68. Posted by MystressJade on July 25, 2006 03:20 PM
#21 Yep, that is the Paris Wonky Eye....but no one noticed due to her huge jugs.
69. Posted by Why Do You Care? on July 25, 2006 04:07 PM
OH MY GOD! You guys make me sick! The things you say about Miss Puerto Rico are sickening! I think she is beautiful! Yea...maybe she is showing a little too much cleavage...but give her a break! Worry about your own lives! So go get a life and stop bashing Miss Puerto Rico...God you guys are jacks!!!!
70. Posted by Why Do You Care? on July 25, 2006 04:09 PM
OH MY GOD! You guys make me sick! The things you say about Miss Puerto Rico are sickening! I think she is beautiful! Yea...maybe she is showing a little too much cleavage...but give her a break! Worry about your own lives! So go get a life and stop bashing Miss Puerto Rico...God you guys are mean people!
71. Posted by biatcho on July 25, 2006 05:02 PM
70 - It's not that she's Miss Universe,it's that she's puerto rican, which living in NYC, affects my life everyday because I can't speak English anymore when all I want is a Big Mac. So I am worrying about my own life. But at least my dope dealer is a good PR, one of the few.
And since you're so cool, why the fuck do you care what any of us have to say anyway?
Off yourself.
72. Posted by purplepuppy on July 25, 2006 05:03 PM
@ 69
In defense of my fellow Superficialites. In case you haven't noticed, it's kind of the point of the site. Hence the slogan "making fun of as many celebrities as possible". If you don't like it, don't visit the site. And while we're at it..."why do you care?".
73. Posted by Jordan on July 25, 2006 06:00 PM
Bleh she definitely had the worst dress. WHAT went through her head that made her decide to wear something made entirely of metal under a bajillion lights?
I thought Miss Switzerland should have won...but what do I know?
74. Posted by bunnyhugger on July 25, 2006 07:16 PM
i didn't even know the damn pagent was on. not that i'd care that much, i'm just waiting for the (insert latino derogative name here) to leave my neighbor's yard so i can hit the pool, you know how them all love us chubby girls!
anyway, back to the tits. i thought there was a rule that they had to be real nowdays. or is that just miss america?
eh, the tits are nice, but the face??? i dunno.
75. Posted by 18_snotty_kinnarude on July 26, 2006 10:24 AM
nice tits+nice face+latina= fuckable( even by females)
76. Posted by mm2284 on July 26, 2006 04:34 PM
hot damn. i'd hit it
77. Posted by Jos on July 27, 2006 03:16 PM
Yo fellas! Boricua!!
She is beautiful I don't care
what her tits are made of.
I'm just glad blondie from the US
was sent on her way in her "Project Runway" dud. Ha-Ha! They were all beautiful!
But PR took them all out!!!
78. Posted by Jos on July 27, 2006 03:18 PM
Yo fellas! Boricua!!
She is beautiful I don't care
what her tits are made of.
I'm just glad blondie from the US
was sent on her way in her "Project Runway" dud. Ha-Ha! They were all beautiful!
But PR took them all out!!!
79. Posted by sanchez on July 30, 2006 12:57 PM
Here are the contestants that deserve the crown; Paraguay, Switzerland, Bolivia, Mexico, and Dominican Republic. And here are the contestants that really DO NOT deserve the crown in my eyes (if I were a judge); Trinidad& Tobago, Puerto Rico, USA.
80. Posted by sanchez on July 30, 2006 08:37 PM
At least I like Michael Jackson, coz he can do Moon Walk, so he has got some ability, while she doesn't.