July 17, 2006
Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are married

Avril Lavigne reportedly married Deryck Whibley of Sum 41 Saturday afternoon at a private estate in Montecito, California. Lavigne was walked down the aisle by her father wearing a Vera Wang gown and carrying white roses, and the couple's first dance was to "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
Because apparently they've confused their wedding with their high school prom. Could've been a lot worse though. They could've replaced the music with some angry poo-throwing monkeys. Or worse yet, it could've been anything by Nickelback.
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Comments
1. Posted by songofkali on July 17, 2006 08:03 AM
This is one time I *won't* want to see the sex video of the honeymoon. /shudder
2. Posted by BrianMolko on July 17, 2006 08:03 AM
You need to punctuate this! Her father wearing a vera wang gown?!
3. Posted by BrianMolko on July 17, 2006 08:04 AM
Wait, I'm hungover and I'm not even sure my comment made sense.
4. Posted by Doxes on July 17, 2006 08:11 AM
I know this is very Grammar Nazi-ish, but the way the item is written it sounds like Avril's dad was wearing the Vera Wang gown and carrying the roses. And I kinda like the mental picture.
5. Posted by Doxes on July 17, 2006 08:12 AM
Sorry, #2, didn't see you'd written the same thing. Oh well.
6. Posted by WouldntYouLikeToKnow on July 17, 2006 08:19 AM
Yep, I agree guys, the image of her father in a Vera Wang gown and carrying white roses is quite the tear jerker. I'll bet it was beautiful! Just beautiful!
7. Posted by Fated on July 17, 2006 08:23 AM
The father wearing the dress would definitely make it have less of a prom feel. Maybe more like Silence of the Lambs.
8. Posted by gmaninjapan on July 17, 2006 08:30 AM
I like poo-throwing monkeys. They would have added class.
9. Posted by tiina on July 17, 2006 08:32 AM
cool. this news is one of the most uninteresting ones i have read recently. i do not care at all that she got married.. its like.. whatever
10. Posted by _meh_ on July 17, 2006 08:36 AM
Are we placing bets on how long this will last? Or rather, should we prepare ourselves for when they start reproducing?
11. Posted by Tracie on July 17, 2006 08:36 AM
Dad wearing Vera Wang was absolutely nothing compared to Deryck's ensemble - a beaded Dolce & Gabbana empire-waisted shealth, paired with an elegant Gucci clutch purse and matching 4" heels. (Little dude needs to get some height on Avril whenever he can.)
12. Posted by Tracie on July 17, 2006 08:43 AM
*sheath
Too early for me...ZZzzz
13. Posted by trulymadlydeeplytori on July 17, 2006 09:13 AM
By far the ugliest fucking dude to ever marry a hot chick.
This motherfucker is the epitome of an ugly brit
14. Posted by bogdana on July 17, 2006 09:15 AM
Thank God! I thought I was the only one who ranted on about how HORRIBLE nickelback is. Then Brian Posehn made a joke on a not well known cable show. now this comment solidifies it- there is a need for a mob of anti nickelback crusaders.
what kind of person complicates the name Derek like that? Deyreeycck
15. Posted by clarknova on July 17, 2006 09:17 AM
#13 by hot chick you mean Avril's father?
16. Posted by daveeech on July 17, 2006 09:18 AM
hehehehehe..."waaang!"
17. Posted by alteaon on July 17, 2006 09:20 AM
He's not British. He's Canadian
18. Posted by SpecialAgentWind on July 17, 2006 09:27 AM
#14 - There is a group of people (anti NB)- they are the ones with good music taste. Did anyone ever watch the lead singer of NB sing? He has a permanent look on his face like he is taking a super hard dump.
19. Posted by ruyukyo on July 17, 2006 09:27 AM
well. married! time to grow up and stop shouting senseless lyrics pretending to be rock-ish
20. Posted by Todd on July 17, 2006 09:35 AM
Deryck Whibley-Lavigne - nice ring to it. (there are way too many consonants in his name!...)
21. Posted by tits_on_snack on July 17, 2006 09:44 AM
I'm sorry but "Hot chick"? Lawl. They're both fug little troll dolls. Dherriyck has a malignant tumor on his face that he likes to refer to as a nose, and Avril looks like a small burrowing screechy little squinty toothy rodent hobbit.
Anyway maybe now that they're all grown up they'll stop writing angry teenybopper songs about sitting in their bedrooms and hating their parents and how nobody understands their poor, whitebread overprivelaged, well-fed and spoiled suburban lives.
22. Posted by Donino on July 17, 2006 09:46 AM
Who are these people anyway? And why can't they write their names poprerly?
23. Posted by PapaHotNuts on July 17, 2006 10:08 AM
He reminds me of a Fraggle.
24. Posted by what up, ya'll on July 17, 2006 10:08 AM
I'm sorry but "Hot chick"? Lawl. They're both fug little troll dolls. Dherriyck has a malignant tumor on his face that he likes to refer to as a nose, and Avril looks like a small burrowing screechy little squinty toothy rodent hobbit.
Anyway maybe now that they're all grown up they'll stop writing angry teenybopper songs about sitting in their bedrooms and hating their parents and how nobody understands their poor, whitebread overprivelaged, well-fed and spoiled suburban lives.
Amen to that. She's not hot - never was. Her face is aiiigghhhttt, but she has the body of a little boy. He, my friends, is hideous.
25. Posted by what up, ya'll on July 17, 2006 10:09 AM
I'm sorry but "Hot chick"? Lawl. They're both fug little troll dolls. Dherriyck has a malignant tumor on his face that he likes to refer to as a nose, and Avril looks like a small burrowing screechy little squinty toothy rodent hobbit.
Anyway maybe now that they're all grown up they'll stop writing angry teenybopper songs about sitting in their bedrooms and hating their parents and how nobody understands their poor, whitebread overprivelaged, well-fed and spoiled suburban lives.
Amen to that. She's not hot - never was. Her face is aiiigghhhttt, but she has the body of a little boy. He, my friends, is hideous.
26. Posted by what up, ya'll on July 17, 2006 10:09 AM
Sorry about the double post. Got an error page. Didn't no it was posted.
27. Posted by Icognito79 on July 17, 2006 10:16 AM
gosh she's so crazy and rebellious and punk.
28. Posted by C.B. on July 17, 2006 10:26 AM
what wrong with goo goo dolls or nickelback???...
29. Posted by ChaosMonkey on July 17, 2006 10:29 AM
OH MY GOD! It's like a PUNK RAWK fairy tale!
30. Posted by enfilade on July 17, 2006 10:40 AM
I give it two years.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com/
31. Posted by sirokai on July 17, 2006 10:47 AM
OR WORSE YET, THEY COULD HAVE DANCED TO THEIR OWN PATHETIC MUSIC.
pwned! pwned! pwned! pwned! pwned!
32. Posted by hopeless_screenwriter on July 17, 2006 11:09 AM
@ 2, 4, 6, 7. For the grammar-nazi's. Yes, you are correct. In English the 'doer' must be the doer of the 'main clause' that follows. Since the 'doer' of the action (father) expressed in the participle has not been clearly stated, the participial phrase (wearing a Vera Wang gown and carrying white roses) is said to be a dangling modifier.
****************************
However, very intelligent writers do this on purpose because it is quite amusing in satires and parodies. I'm not sure if this was intentional, but I'm confident that it was, because what is more exciting than dangling your modifier, just be careful where you dangle it.
*****************************
When I got home from school, Uncle Rob finger-painted me in the nude.
33. Posted by Italian Stallion on July 17, 2006 11:23 AM
I'm surprised to see these two in the sunlight.................
34. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on July 17, 2006 11:25 AM
I didn't know it was legal in Canada to get married by Nickelodeon when you were fourteen.
I thought you could only do that in Guam.
35. Posted by Morticia on July 17, 2006 11:26 AM
That guy looks about 12 years old.
36. Posted by lickmetwice on July 17, 2006 11:30 AM
Two Canadians getting married. What could possibly be more boring???
37. Posted by Queen LaQueefah on July 17, 2006 11:37 AM
Good for them. Will they stop making "music" now? That's really what I'm interested in.
38. Posted by Jedi Kevin on July 17, 2006 11:38 AM
How about if the poo-throwing monkeys wear the Vera Wang dress?
Now *that* would be classy.
39. Posted by jane's eyre on July 17, 2006 11:56 AM
Sounds like a Simpson's episode.
40. Posted by Nikk The Templar on July 17, 2006 12:13 PM
I give it three months before they fade into obscurity and are forced to do a reality show on MTV.
41. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on July 17, 2006 12:23 PM
Can't wait to see the mewlings these two spawn. Those kids are going to be f'd up with posers (posuers?) the likes of these two as parents. A couple of wannabe punks who probably lie about owning Sex Pistols CDs. In a blissfully short while, all Avril will be remembered for will be supplementing her skater boi attire with a shrewdly placed tie. All Deryk will be remembered for is being the guy who married the chick who used to wear a businessman's tie and skater clothing. Retard chic.
42. Posted by HollyJ on July 17, 2006 12:27 PM
I give it 1 year MAX
43. Posted by Glossed Over on July 17, 2006 12:31 PM
Gee, Avril, Vera Wang is sooo punk.
http://glossedover.com
44. Posted by YouWannaBMe on July 17, 2006 12:45 PM
Who and Who? Who the Hell are they? Aren't they both like, 19?
45. Posted by Krysil on July 17, 2006 01:28 PM
Vera Wang is a cursed brand appearently...every famous person that ever got married in it devorced in less than 2 years...I watched that on like Oprah or something haha
46. Posted by francesfarmer on July 17, 2006 01:49 PM
they'll get divorced before they have any kids, celebitchy put up tons of the wedding photos on their site here's the link
http://www.celebitchy.com/2006/07/avril_lavignes_fairytale_weddi.html
47. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on July 17, 2006 01:50 PM
I'd sell their honeymoon sex video!
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/better-sex-video.htm
48. Posted by innit on July 17, 2006 02:26 PM
My thoughts exactly, #43.... I love how Avril tries to be all unique and punk rawk and different, then she goes out and gets the Louis Vuitton luggage and Vera Wang dress like every other lemming celebrity...
49. Posted by Stef on July 17, 2006 03:25 PM
She should have worn that red gown from BeetleJuice. That would've been punk.
50. Posted by ValeWolf on July 17, 2006 03:35 PM
LOL ^ you're right #49. And he should've dressed as Beetlejuice too.
I cannot stand that idiot from Sum41.
51. Posted by Aristotrash on July 17, 2006 04:30 PM
How tall is Deryck Whibley? He looks like a munchkin. Avril Whibley has a very old-ladyish sound to it, too. Oh, well. I think it is safe to say that Avril has lost her edge, her fanbase, and therefore her career. There's really nothing left she can do except get pregnant.
52. Posted by Do Freebird on July 17, 2006 04:47 PM
I guess Deryck gets to be the lead singer because his Mom lets the band use her garage for practice.
But I'd definately nail her, and give hubby to Tom Cruise, because as we all know TCLTC, even tiny, small pre-prepuescent ones.
53. Posted by Do Freebird on July 17, 2006 04:58 PM
Sorry to post twice in a row, but I just went to the "offical Sum 41" web page and listed under upcoming shows they have have the following:
Sorry, we couldn't find any dates for Sum 41.
I think that says all you need to know about this powerhouse group.
54. Posted by chanel_bear on July 17, 2006 05:49 PM
i love how avril tries to be all girly now, by buying designer clothes and bleaching her hair, but it doesn't quite work. it's kind of like dressing paris hilton in a suit and putting her in a room full of business people. she may look the part, but we all know the truth. underneath she's just a stupid skank who can't keep her herpes in check. avril may be dressed a girl, but the truth is, she still looks like a man. and an ugly one at that.
55. Posted by diptutod on July 17, 2006 06:11 PM
So they're both, what, fourteen? Fifteen?
56. Posted by bunnyhugger on July 17, 2006 09:14 PM
yeah, i'd kinda like to know who they are, too.
even more, i'd like to know how to pronounce their names, just in case it ever comes up.
not really.
#32 hopeless:
grammatical humor is often lost on the masses.
that said, i think i really, really like you!
; )
57. Posted by DrunkBlogger on July 17, 2006 09:58 PM
"The Older She Gets, The Worse She Looks"
-No Fear T-shirt circa 2006
58. Posted by bakismaki on July 17, 2006 11:05 PM
Imagine the brats these two will produce. Ahhh.... the humanity.
59. Posted by ReelWorld on July 18, 2006 12:53 AM
Like - who cares? She's old news - he looks 13 years old. I bet they're divorced before the leaves change color!
60. Posted by ChickenScratch on July 18, 2006 10:18 AM
Another celebrity couple getting married, I give them 2 years max!
I'll see you all here in 2 years when we have to read about them fighting over Fifi the poodle, who gets which CD's, and who gets the razor scooter.
61. Posted by januaryanne on July 18, 2006 11:50 AM
Say what now? 2 "rebels" have signed on for the sacrament of marriage? SELL OUTS! CANADIAN SELL OUTS!!!! Deryck you said you'd never become a victim of their conformity!....
I applaud the use of the classic "Iris", a fine song that has aged about 10 years since its creation. These kids know their classics. Gee I hope they also danced to Green Day's "Good Riddance." I love the oldies.
62. Posted by Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest on July 18, 2006 03:11 PM
Tell me this guy wouldn't make an awesome Calvin if they ever made a Calvin And Hobbes movie?
63. Posted by jrzmommy on July 18, 2006 04:33 PM
who are these adorable little punked-out toddlers?
64. Posted by bltangledupue on July 19, 2006 05:02 AM
they deserve each other.
65. Posted by Whibley_41 on July 20, 2006 03:43 AM
Most of these "FUCKERS" are just some-what restarded,with a capital "R". For all the people here who "HATE" Sum 41,may i ask "Why the fuck are you searching for this article then????.And to answer "Mr.Do Freebird FUCK FACE".The reason why sum 41 have no tour dates at this moment are because there recording there new album,which is due to release early "2007",ohhhhh and by the way,the hole thing about Deryck's the lead singer,becasue the other band mates used his mom's garage,well their not using her garage anymore,there using "Do Freebird" mother's garage,and from what i heard,there's alot of room,bigger than Opra's house......P.S.
I'm pretty shure that Do Freebird has seen his mom's garage,how big is it man,i bet that's where you keep your valiables,am i right??????????????????????????????????????L8ter.....................
66. Posted by tatesq03 on July 20, 2006 04:21 PM
I love my poo throwing monkeys, but they absolutely detest Vera Wang.
67. Posted by MUSHY on August 1, 2006 11:52 AM
lmao u guys are all lame because sum 41 is lame and that dryik dick is ugly as fuck but I would watch him cum all over Avril's pretty face.