July 11, 2006
David Hasselhoff "Secret Agent Man" music video
Time for your daily dose of the Hoff. The things this man does with his face are epic.
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» David Hasselhoff "Jump In My Car" music video


Comments
1. Posted by craptownusa on July 11, 2006 12:59 PM
it looks like one of those videos they make in the mall. and he feels like this is his big shot so he's putting every ounce he's got into it. so sad. so very very sad.
2. Posted by hessalhoff on July 11, 2006 12:59 PM
What a cheese ball. Is he for real?
3. Posted by pop on July 11, 2006 01:00 PM
that video is painfully arousing...why do i feel both turned-on and empty inside after watching it?
http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
4. Posted by adunleavy930 on July 11, 2006 01:02 PM
the hoff dose it again...another awesome video
5. Posted by hessalhoff on July 11, 2006 01:09 PM
It just plain Hoffal.
6. Posted by rolson on July 11, 2006 01:09 PM
Ha...number 6, you little beotches!
7. Posted by francesfarmer on July 11, 2006 01:10 PM
the hoff is good, the hoff is wise
8. Posted by Fugurself on July 11, 2006 01:11 PM
Hoff fucked Barbara Bush in the ass once. The old one.
She kept yelling, "Faster, you meatball! Faster!"
9. Posted by jane's eyre on July 11, 2006 01:15 PM
Must I? I'm not sure I want to waste another few seconds of my life watching the Hoff embarrass himself. Why doesn't he just have a video of him banging MeganHarris, if that's what he really wants to do?
10. Posted by Meghann on July 11, 2006 01:16 PM
Now I know Germans are famous for their horrific taste in music, but COME ON.
11. Posted by bigponie on July 11, 2006 01:16 PM
this guy is a dope on a rope, Mr. york and tattoo should take his ass to fantasy island.
12. Posted by RichPort on July 11, 2006 01:17 PM
I like the Walmart rendition of this song much better... it's reasons like this I used to turn the volume down on Baywatch and just watch the girls running to the beach bouncing scenes.
13. Posted by pinky_nip on July 11, 2006 01:18 PM
I think the cheese industry should utilize his videos in marketing campaigns.
14. Posted by xavierh on July 11, 2006 01:18 PM
"Hooked On A Feeling" I could watch because he at least somewhat stayed in key. Not so here! I made it barely 1:20 into this one before it had to go. There should be a warning like "this video has sound, please turn your computer speakers OFF before proceeding." I can't even think of anything sarcastic, as my ears are still bleeding.
15. Posted by khi2 on July 11, 2006 01:19 PM
That is insane... Wow! He reminds me a bit of Carlton in Fresh Prince... Y'know, when he was signing and dancing... But that was comedy...
16. Posted by pop on July 11, 2006 01:38 PM
...and seriously, how many times does this man bite down on his lips when he's dancing?perhaps it's all those years experience from biting his pillow...
http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
17. Posted by The Jenny on July 11, 2006 01:40 PM
Hasselhoff in flames. I like it.
18. Posted by ScriptRadar on July 11, 2006 01:40 PM
Wow. If he's a hit in Germany, I wonder what them Germans are hitting... that Black Forest Buddha Bud must be freakin' strong shizz.
19. Posted by blowdart on July 11, 2006 01:43 PM
Damn you to hell, where is the sound? What good is the Hoff without his melodious voice? I didn't get sound on his last video either.
Such a tease.
20. Posted by penguinwaddle on July 11, 2006 01:44 PM
I am quite certain his name must be logged somewhere on the National Sex Offender Registry.
21. Posted by MeganHarris on July 11, 2006 01:44 PM
Fact about the Hoff:
In the series Knight Rider, he did most of the singing on the pop tracks in the backround.
22. Posted by MeganHarris on July 11, 2006 01:47 PM
You know what? After analyzing these Hoff videos, I'm decided that he's really not a bad singer. The videos suffer from lack of direction and tackiness, but his vioce is fine.
23. Posted by Musa_ acuminata on July 11, 2006 01:49 PM
Fact about Megan Harris:
She has the entire series of Knight Rider on DVD and she wove an indian blanket out of the hair on The Hoff's ass.
24. Posted by Toonlite on July 11, 2006 01:49 PM
OMG!!!! I JUST recovered my hearing and vision after watching the Paris Hilton video...now this....sheesh good thing I didn't return the special keyboard to the institute for the blind...
*falling over computer desk* UUugghhh....It's okay..I'll be okay....
25. Posted by penguinwaddle on July 11, 2006 01:50 PM
why don't you just come out and say what you really wnat to say Megan...that you are flicking your bean to the Hoff.
26. Posted by Xanthia on July 11, 2006 01:56 PM
If I didn't already know the song and was hearing it for the first time, I would think the title was "Secret ASIAN Man" - his diction is as bad as his video........ and when is he going to go into a twelve step program to break the wristwatch addiction????
Personally, for pure laughs I like the one where he is flying around and dancing like someone stuck a poker up his ass....... don't remember hte song - I was laughing too hard at the images
27. Posted by BeaGass on July 11, 2006 02:01 PM
who the FUCK told this idiot he could sing?
28. Posted by Lauren on July 11, 2006 02:03 PM
David Hasselhoff > Daniel Craig
29. Posted by I_hate_you on July 11, 2006 02:08 PM
At least the special effects aren't straight out of 1982 like his other videos... Too bad we can't say the same about his hair.
30. Posted by bigponie on July 11, 2006 02:09 PM
KIT should've ran him over...
31. Posted by twzzlrgirl on July 11, 2006 02:09 PM
This is hysterical. I love the part where he looks like a midget with the power pack on his back.
As funny as it is, I didn't make it to the end -- I found myself wanting to poke my eyes out with a fork.
32. Posted by penguinwaddle on July 11, 2006 02:17 PM
Notice how he is looking thru the binoculars at the woman holding her breasts....he looks slightly confused and somewhat appaled by what he is seeing. Interesting...
33. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on July 11, 2006 02:21 PM
The more I see of these "videos" the more I am convinced that the German people absolutely melt for public personas with warbly voices, exaggerated hand gestures, and excessive egos (Hitler, Hasselhoff). I love the subtle admission by the Hoff at the end when his face is superimposed on a woman's buttocks. It is as though he is admitting he is a big ass and full of shit. I would love it if MTV fucked him and nominated this shit for Best Video. Couldn't you see Hoff sitting in the front row, that shit-eating grin dominating his face as his name is called and he beats out Christina Aguilera, Pink, AFI, and Kanye West for the award? The chorus of boos and laughter mocking him as he walks to the podium to accept his award, his '80's inspired sunglasses glued to his head. It'd be great, but MTV's too pretentious for that now. BTW - You just know that the Hoff still decorates his pads with Nagel. Fucking meatlover.
34. Posted by Jedi Kevin on July 11, 2006 02:25 PM
Where *does* this shit come from?
35. Posted by rata de chapinero on July 11, 2006 02:36 PM
he's never gonna top hooked on a feeling. :(
besides...Devo does it better (anybody could)
36. Posted by spatz on July 11, 2006 02:37 PM
sigh. i want to have hasselhoffs babies.
37. Posted by Italian Stallion on July 11, 2006 02:38 PM
Fact about Megan Harris: Worst fucking taste in music EVER!!!!!!!!
Fact about The Hoff: makes his own Moonshine and hangs out with Tom and various cocks...............
38. Posted by Wild Rose on July 11, 2006 02:43 PM
Does this dude hail from Wisconsin? 'Cause honestly...his affection for cheese is truly astounding!
39. Posted by educatedguess on July 11, 2006 02:45 PM
So I've always kinda thought of the Hoff as that hairy guy who balanced out Baywatch, but ever since I saw that naked picture with the puppies I just can't wrap my mind around this guy. This video was freaken sweet. I'd have to say my favorite parts were the charlie's angel's type shot where he's aiming the gun and then he fades into a silliuette, the motorcycle riding, and when he plays the recorder. I bet you every morning when he wakes up, after his first shot of Jager, he looks in the mirror, runs his fingers through his mane of 80s hair and thinks to himself, "I am one one bad mother fucker." But it's all cancelled out by the fact that he probably can't fall asleep without the sound of his own gentle weeping.
40. Posted by PapaHotNuts on July 11, 2006 02:46 PM
This video makes me want to make out with Megan Harris. It's that bad.
41. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on July 11, 2006 02:51 PM
I wonder if his balls are as beady as his eyes...
42. Posted by penguinwaddle on July 11, 2006 02:53 PM
Edna, Megan Harris and the Hoff should have a threesome.
43. Posted by HollyJ on July 11, 2006 03:01 PM
That kinda reminds me of my trip to Columbia.
44. Posted by kandyk0119 on July 11, 2006 03:14 PM
is this shit recent? Awful
45. Posted by panamoncreel on July 11, 2006 03:23 PM
I pray to the Lord Almighty that that is the next theme song / opening credit song to the next James Bond movie. Please, baby Jesus, please let this be true. Thank you, God.
46. Posted by Lettusaurus on July 11, 2006 03:49 PM
Ok, dont get me started on how bad the singing was, because it's been adressed. The thing that bugged me was the granny panty lines on some of the silouettes of the "sexy chicks" writhing around throughout the video. wierd
47. Posted by 5centsWORTH on July 11, 2006 04:12 PM
hmmm... was he thinking that he had actually come up with the next Bond-007 soundtrack?
48. Posted by Ez-EEEE on July 11, 2006 04:18 PM
the next bond movie will suck so bad, they might as well have a horrid sound track with it.
all i have to say is two little words that sum up the entire existence of the hoff:
CHEESE DICK.
49. Posted by Silje on July 11, 2006 04:43 PM
Ok... is it possible for ur brain to explode twice?? i am quite sure my brain exploded when I watched the GET INTO MY CAR (singing very loudly) video yesterday, but I am sure I felt something burst inside my head watching this one too. If u keep up this Hoff video marathon, I will be walking around brainless and drueling very, very soon*cry* Thank god I live in Denmark and not Germany!! Although... when I watch these videos, denmark is actually way to close to Germany anyway*whine*
50. Posted by adamstevens123 on July 11, 2006 04:46 PM
Is this real? I am serious.
51. Posted by CaryG on July 11, 2006 05:04 PM
This is the sign! Now I know the world is truely going to hell(or heck).
52. Posted by ob1 on July 11, 2006 05:25 PM
I like it. Something I can fuck too.
Secret Agent Man, Secret Agent Man....
fuck, now I can't get it out of my head.
53. Posted by infatuatingLena on July 11, 2006 05:42 PM
He's off key just enough to make me want to kill myself.
54. Posted by Rox on July 11, 2006 05:54 PM
make him stop! Pleaseeeeeeeeee
55. Posted by MeganNorrisHasselhoff on July 11, 2006 06:41 PM
My man makes me so proud, he is a God, he is The Hoff. I would do anything for him whether it be letting him mount me and making vroom vroom noises while crabwalking around the room, or grooming his dingleberries with my teeth.
Papa, you cannot have me, no matter how much you beg you silly ho.
56. Posted by blondewithnobrain on July 11, 2006 06:47 PM
ummmm what the FUCK is he doing??
57. Posted by eXtasyStef on July 11, 2006 06:56 PM
I think I'd rather hear K.I.T.T sing. He could probably dance better, too.
I've seen aging lounge singers with more class. Oh, wait, that's what he is....
58. Posted by cibby on July 11, 2006 07:21 PM
eXtasyStef,
awesome! KITT singing! Why not?
59. Posted by ESQ on July 11, 2006 07:56 PM
Was this done right after he was escorted for being drunk at Wimbledon?
Rock out with your cock out..
I wish I never saw that video. Those women in it will never have a career in show biz, not with that piece of crap on their resumes.
60. Posted by Smelly Han on July 11, 2006 07:58 PM
Oh sweet lord.
That was worse than jump in my car.
61. Posted by JayBee79 on July 11, 2006 08:48 PM
Hello everybody.
I am from Germany and I have to tell you, that nobody over here still likes David Hasselhoff!!! He used to be very famous in my country in the late 80s / early 90s but that was a long time ago and nobody's buying his records anymore or watching his videos. (German MTV doesn't play them anyway)
He's is no longer a star and he doesn't have any hit records anymore.
Our taste in music is much better than you might think!
62. Posted by happy_bunny on July 11, 2006 09:01 PM
Wow. His voice - for one thing - really sucks. Really.
63. Posted by pinochio on July 11, 2006 10:00 PM
.......... *speechless
64. Posted by Etan on July 11, 2006 10:11 PM
disgusting.
etan
http://blog.ateava.com/
65. Posted by Tits_McGhee on July 11, 2006 10:54 PM
The Hoff's music makes Weird Al's music sound grammy worthy.
66. Posted by stokeley on July 12, 2006 01:52 AM
JayBee79 is right - the Hoff only had one hit in germany and that was like centurys ago, the current german chart are http://www.mtv.de/hitlistgermany/index.php and he is nowhere to be found ^^
67. Posted by tiina on July 12, 2006 02:54 AM
OooooooooooK! um.
speechless..the comment about is face is spot on. and whats with the fire in every video he makes???
and i havent even gotten my daily dose of Jump in my car..this promises to be another hofftastic day... but no.. i need to get myself Dont hassle the Hoff t-shirt..
like seriously..
really, i mean it!
i want it!
honestly!
68. Posted by Fatty Boom-Batty on July 12, 2006 06:09 AM
I think David Hasslehoff and Scott Stapp should have fight to the death for the title of "Lamest Asshole in the World". The smart money is on Stapp, he has God on his side...
69. Posted by stupida on July 12, 2006 08:32 AM
Hey, Superficial!
You're starting to suck. What are you doing now, searching Hasselhoff under YouTube instead of posting? Shit man, anyone can do that.
Where's that rapier-like wit I grew to love and rely on so much?
70. Posted by trailblazer153 on July 12, 2006 09:36 AM
I can't take this crap. This is the first music video that I felt like vomit was gorged behind my eyeballs from watching. Except for Britney Spears doing the pregnant photos, I would have to say this is one of the most obsurd things I've seen. Congradulations to anybody that made it through that video. I bet you have a stomach to eat haggis and other more than tasty items. But for the rest of us that don't enjoy blood curdled hot sick, somebody please make Hasselhoff get eaten by a shark on a Baywatch reunion.
71. Posted by Vajennatalia on July 12, 2006 12:34 PM
I HATE THE HOFF, WHY IS HE STILL ALIVE????? what is even the purpose of this video? to make me want to plot his murder more thoroughly?
72. Posted by wwworldclique on July 12, 2006 10:11 PM
Does anyone realize that the whole "Germans/ Hasselhoff" thing was a joke started by Norm MacDonald when he used to anchor Weekend Update on SNL back in the 90s? At the time, Hasselhoff had a few hits overseas, so MacDonald had this running joke on Weekend Update where he would always take any news story and claim that it proved his theory that "Germans loved Hasselhoff." Then he would give an intense look (roflmao) like there was some sort of conspiracy.
Even though the whole "Germans love Hasselhoff" thing is a goof, it still doesn't make it any less funny. I mean, nothing is funnier than watching am entire nationality of people fume, "Why does everyone think we love Hasselhoff?" LOL...
73. Posted by BSfan on July 12, 2006 10:49 PM
*runs around naked screaming "Hasselhoff for President of the World!"*
74. Posted by Do Freebird on July 12, 2006 10:52 PM
Right at this very moment, there are hundreds of Arab prisoners at Guantanamo Bay who are being forced to watch this 24 hours a day.
Oh the humanity.
75. Posted by Discord on July 12, 2006 11:20 PM
Hoff is a genius because he doesn't take himself seriously at all.
I think that silliness factor elevates his work to High Art
76. Posted by Aryiel on July 17, 2006 08:07 AM
My god I love this man. The passion is so intense that he feels the extreme need to high kick the camera in this song ozzing with passion and emotion. Hopefully he'll keep making these videos so I can continue to feel superior to at least one celebrity.