July 05, 2006
Lil' Kim back on the streets
Lil' Kim was released from prison on Monday after serving 10 months for lying in court about a radio station shootout. She's set to remain under house arrest for another 30 days and will be on supervised probation for the next three years. And then after that I guess she can go back to doing whatever it is she does. Which, if she's anything like me, means dressing up like a ninja and karate kicking people in the neck for refusing to acknowledge that Chuck Norris is their God.
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Comments
1. Posted by ae1986 on July 5, 2006 10:02 AM
lets see how long she stays out of trouble...i give her 2 days
2. Posted by SpecialAgentWind on July 5, 2006 10:07 AM
Little Kim is soo old hat, doubtful she could get arrested again.
3. Posted by sweetcheeks on July 5, 2006 10:08 AM
I didn't know you could get fatter in prison. Kim there has a unique gift.
4. Posted by liquidflame on July 5, 2006 10:10 AM
It's her only gift...
5. Posted by Italian Stallion on July 5, 2006 10:12 AM
That bitch needs to change her name to Big Kim because Lil' Kim is just false advertisement................
6. Posted by conceitedhipster on July 5, 2006 10:13 AM
A Chuck Norris joke? Really? That's so tired.
7. Posted by DonLes91 on July 5, 2006 10:14 AM
It's Lil Kim cause she's about 3' 7" tall.
8. Posted by Grobpilot on July 5, 2006 10:16 AM
That twat is so unforgettable, I didn't know she's been in the slam all this time.
9. Posted by RichPort on July 5, 2006 10:19 AM
Apparently there's no liposuction in jail. This stupid beeotch already looks like that cat lady, and she's not even 35 yet. What a nasty joke of a woman. If I worked at Hot 97 I would invite her over immediately and have a sniper waiting for her with a paintball rifle, just to see if she can actually show any expression of horror on that plastic mask of a face.
10. Posted by Dr.Rokter on July 5, 2006 10:25 AM
"Going to Jail" is the new "Checking into the Betty Ford Clinic".
11. Posted by DonLes91 on July 5, 2006 10:28 AM
I was thinking:
They take a day off for good behavior, which is why she's out in 10 months instead of 12. If she was good every day like Mike Tyson was, she should've gotten out in 6 months.
I guess she kept stealing the other inmates food which would explain the puffieness in those cheeks.
12. Posted by tinyTy on July 5, 2006 10:34 AM
I need smutty news. Or at least news with slutty people. Criminals aren't my thing.
13. Posted by PapaHotNuts on July 5, 2006 10:36 AM
I see Chris Tucker in the background, but I don't see Jackie Chan. Wait a minute, Lil Kim probably ate him. If she did, she'll be hungry again in an hour, because eating Asian people only fills you up for a little while.
14. Posted by Zanna on July 5, 2006 10:44 AM
Sweetcheeks...
Is it the prison food that did it to her or is eating pussy fattening?
15. Posted by Rossarooni on July 5, 2006 10:46 AM
Who knew that jailhouse 'lovin would have so many calories?
16. Posted by jFp on July 5, 2006 10:51 AM
well....she has street cred now. That was probably just what her career needed. Now that she's out she can do some drugs and lose that fat ass while she cuts a jailhouse record.
17. Posted by sharkbite on July 5, 2006 11:05 AM
Yay, I'm glad she's out. She served her time, when it seems a lot of celebrities manage to finagle their way out of their jail sentences.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
18. Posted by jane's eyre on July 5, 2006 11:06 AM
Whew, that's a relief, I was getting kind of tired NOT seeing celebrities wearing pasties to award ceremonies. It qualifies as clothing as long as your girly parts aren't showing all the way.
19. Posted by Monkey on July 5, 2006 11:10 AM
Wow. Somebody strapped on the feedbag and pulled the ripcord.
20. Posted by sometimesboy on July 5, 2006 11:24 AM
mmm...prison food must be tasty...
21. Posted by DancingQueen on July 5, 2006 11:42 AM
I'd just like to know how she got her nails did in prison.
22. Posted by Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest on July 5, 2006 12:05 PM
Hey #17
WHITE people finagle out of thier sentences.
23. Posted by Quiggie on July 5, 2006 12:08 PM
Spunkbubble,
That's what I'm talking about. HOW DO you get your nails down in prison. I think that bothered me more than anything. I'm too through with that.
24. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on July 5, 2006 12:30 PM
What correctional facility was she at? Pillsbury State? Mrs. Butterworth's Home for Wayward Girls? Taco Bell Penitentiary? She better not bitch about the food. Probably stopped for KFC on the way home. Lil' Kim... should change her name to Lil' Fat.
25. Posted by jane's eyre on July 5, 2006 12:30 PM
"Lil' Kim. She's phat! Phat with a "P-H", not fat..."
No, now she's just F-A-T.
26. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on July 5, 2006 12:31 PM
Did anyone see "Countdown to Lockdown" on BET? Yeah, me neither.
27. Posted by Jaa on July 5, 2006 12:32 PM
Hey 22
OJ Simpson
28. Posted by tits_on_snack on July 5, 2006 12:49 PM
Whoa. I actually looked around the picture to see where Lil Kim was, until I realized that was her.
Also can I say I hate the word "Lil"? Whoa I just remembered that comic strip "Lil Jinx" - haven't thought of that bitch in a long time.
29. Posted by justme on July 5, 2006 12:49 PM
She'll be a hero in the black community.
Lowlife thug who acts like a criminal even though she's had it easy.. Heaven forbid she gets punished for breaking the law.
30. Posted by jrzmommy on July 5, 2006 12:53 PM
where are her pasties?
31. Posted by pf on July 5, 2006 12:54 PM
I wonder did all of ya'll make all these little smart ass comments about Martha Stewart! They did the same damn thing!
hey #29 justme.......does that make Martha Stewart a hero for the cracker community?
32. Posted by jane's eyre on July 5, 2006 01:13 PM
@31
No, we made fun of Martha even more.
33. Posted by pf on July 5, 2006 01:23 PM
i hear you jane. but i don't see saying that, "she'll be a hero for the black community" is fun nor funny!
to many of you on here see race as a joke and that is sad to me and shows just how much different we all grew up!
34. Posted by jrzmommy on July 5, 2006 01:46 PM
The guy to her left looks REALLY nervous, as if he's thinking...."JESUS CHRIST! Okay, okay.....breathe......just smile and wave........we'll call Janet and get dieting tips as soon as we get home.....it'll be okay......God, don't let her eat me."
35. Posted by jrzmommy on July 5, 2006 01:47 PM
..sorry, guy on THE left, not HER left.
36. Posted by Dimple2082 on July 5, 2006 01:48 PM
Go #33, many comments about various stories sometimes lead me to believe that we're all regressing rather than progressing with all this stereotyping,m prejudgment and use of ethnicity as a basis for humor.
On another note, I don't think she got her "nails did" in jail someone probablt mailed her some Lee Press On's under the guise of a cake. And I like the double chin and the weight gain, just means she's less likely to put stickers on her nipples.
37. Posted by jane's eyre on July 5, 2006 02:12 PM
@36
While any other normal person with any shred of self-respect and decorum would dress appropriately after gaining weight, this is Lil' Kim we're talking about here. May I refer to to Exhibits A-Z: (excluding the first picture, she wasn't feeling like herself that day)
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/lil_kim/index.html
38. Posted by jane's eyre on July 5, 2006 02:14 PM
As they so eloquently stated at the bottom of the page:
The thing I like best about Lil' Kim is her delicate grasp of decorum and modesty.
39. Posted by jrzmommy on July 5, 2006 02:16 PM
remember when Lil Kim was that sweet little tough kid from around the way?
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005065.html
40. Posted by jane's eyre on July 5, 2006 02:34 PM
@39
I think that's where that British whore Jordan or whatever her name is got that "belt as a top" look. Or maybe that sort of improvised fashion savvy comes naturally to all skanks.
P.S.
That would suck to wear in the sun--it would get hot and start baking your nips. Yikes!
41. Posted by Vas Deferens on July 5, 2006 02:37 PM
Your butt is wide, well mine is too.
Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you.
The word is out, better treat me right,
Cause I'm the king of cellulite.
Ham on ham on ham on whole wheat, all right.
My zippers bust, my buckles break.
I'm too much man for you to take.
The pavement cracks when I fall down.
I've got more chins than Chinatown.
Well I've never used a phone booth,
And I've never seen my toes.
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout.
Just tell me once again: Who's fat?
42. Posted by Brak on July 5, 2006 03:23 PM
Whoa-HO!!!
Where was she incarcerated? The Prison of Cream and Dainty Cakes?
43. Posted by Spindoc on July 5, 2006 03:57 PM
#22,
Yeah, Hally Berry didn't finagle out of HER sentance? O.J. etc... Please, celebrities operate under a different system, stop trying to sound like a college freshman.
44. Posted by Hara on July 5, 2006 03:57 PM
What the FREAK?! This is so unsettling. You'd think sitting on her butt all day in a 3 by 5 cell with nothing to do but think about her life and eat would help her LOSE weither. Lil Kim you are STUPID ma'am. Just plain stupid. Don't you know people have to Look at your fat? ... in jail... where no one can see you?
Call me crazy but I'm pretty sure spending 10 months in prison is about the Only acceptable reason for Gaining so much weight as a celebrity. Not having kids because we've seen that done right (thanks gweneth paltrow and heidi klum). But screw it, if I was locked up with no chance for fun and every incentive NOT to look hot (That's right Big Mamma Joe, I'm talking about you) I'm pretty sure I'd try to add as much bulk to my body as possible.
OR! Maybe she was getting a lot of baked goods mailed to her and wanted to make sure she wasn't missing any important weapons. i dunno. Either way I think porking it up was a good choice.
45. Posted by Hara on July 5, 2006 03:59 PM
oh. I forgot
I SUPPORT YOU KIM! F*** the man! FIGHT THE POWER! KEEP it REAL! Just please, Dear GOD dont turn into a rapping Monique. I'm pretty sure that would give me legal license to kill you.
46. Posted by endometriorama on July 5, 2006 04:26 PM
i still think she looks pretty.
47. Posted by Lettusaurus on July 5, 2006 05:25 PM
She turned into Queen Latifa
48. Posted by Bogart on July 5, 2006 07:24 PM
it looks like she got in a fight with an ugly stick while in jail.
49. Posted by Nikk The Templar on July 5, 2006 07:25 PM
Woooo...
She got all puffy just like ODB did when he got out of jail.
Must have been all that prison food.
50. Posted by Tits_McGhee on July 5, 2006 08:34 PM
Wait a sec, so Lil' Kim was in jail for LYING?! Hmmm...I was under the assuption they threw her in the big house for extremely bad taste.
51. Posted by bunnyhugger on July 5, 2006 09:13 PM
Vas Deferens--
hee-hee! weird al!
any points for that?
aw, shit, did i just blow any hope of semi-coolness???
52. Posted by BadGoat on July 5, 2006 10:12 PM
Did the reporters ask her what it was like getting fat in prison?
53. Posted by Spacedog on July 5, 2006 11:31 PM
Spunkbubble, did you hear about that producer that got busted in Dubai for 1.26g of coke?
Just walked.
Dunno if its a race issue or not, I'd probably have my gonads sliced off if that were me.
54. Posted by diamondprynzez on July 6, 2006 01:05 AM
I think you mean she ate Queen Latifah.
55. Posted by fijian on July 6, 2006 02:26 AM
Wow, she's fat...
Can't say they don't feed you in prison.
56. Posted by CancerNipples on July 6, 2006 05:09 PM
She's like a fat black "cosmetic surgery cat lady" and no I don't care if someone has noted that already...you really think I read you faggots' posts before I say what I'm thinking? Dream on.
57. Posted by Search-Engines-Web on July 6, 2006 11:47 PM
What is the purpose of the supervised probation, a waste of Taxpayers money.
What supervision does someone need who lied on trial.
It is not like you are dealing with a violent crime, or drug abuse
58. Posted by Digypoke on July 7, 2006 05:59 PM
She profited well in prison, she at least took 4 size, amazing !