June 22, 2006

Paris Hilton seizes restrooms

paris-hilton-pee-family.jpg

Paris Hilton reportedly landed her helicopter on a German farm so she could use the restroom, and had her security stop the family from entering their own house so she could pee in peace.

A source told Britain's More magazine: "She gave the farmer a bit of a shock. Her bouncers even blocked the farm door so the family couldn't go inside their own house while she was using the loo." The star then allegedly spent another ten minutes on the startled farmer's porch, so she could smoke a cigarette. The unnamed farmer said: "She was cold as a fish, and cursed about the weather."

So this guy is minding his own business riding tractors and picking weeds and doing whatever else it is that farmers do when all of a sudden Paris Hilton flies in on her helicopter, kicks him out of his house, and uses his bathroom. She's like a superhero, only instead of swooping in and saving lives she commandeers toilets and gets all huffy when her helicopter pilot misses and doesn't smoosh the German farmer the way she ordered him to.


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Comments

Cold? Fish? So the farmer fucked her...

I can say with absolute certainty, I would have shot the bitch for trespassin'. Everyone knows farmers all carry shotguns and shoot stuff from their porches.

Sounds like a South Park episode.

Only the chopper would have landed on Kenny.

I would have put sugar in the helicopter's gas tank, told them that I didn't have a phone and sent them for a walk. Hehehe.

Did she at least leave them enough money to buy a new toilet? Or at least a new seat?

See, that's why I don't flush when I go #2. If Paris ever shows up at my house she surely won't be using my crapper.

I'm just wondering how many barrels of disinfectant and years of hard radiation it will take before anyone can use that toilet again. It had Paris Hilton's sperm-oozing, diseased vagina on it, for goodness' sake.

Yeah... you know, last week I was on the 10 Fwy here in los Angeles. And it hit me - I had to dump. I was about half-way home, and stuck in the worst traffic ever.

Do I turn around and go back to work to release the chocolate hostages? Or do I sit tight, and try to make it home.

I desperatly needed an answer from my bowels - would they be able to withstand the growling pressure that was building up in my dung bunker? Or would I lose it, right then and there - in the comfort of my truck surrounded by my fellow angelelinos?

I seriously considered pulling off and finding a dank alleyway in downtown LA, to jettison my brown cargo... but you know what? I held it. Because I have respect for the bums that call it home.

So fuck you, Paris. Next time, hold it bitch.

P.S. there are nail marks in my steering wheel from gripping it so tight.

Whole new meaning to "tractor incident" no wait, its still the same meaning. You got gonorhea from a tractor? and you call THAT the tractor story?

only with more stds.

Diese Nutte!

I would burn down my house if I knew her skanky ass sat on my toilet seat.

Why the fuck did they let her into their house????

German farmers need to take lesson from Southern American farmers. The helicopter would have been shot down 100 yards above the pasture.

Fuckin' revenuers.

Yup, sounds just like Paris. The world is her toilet. And why the heck didn't that farmer blow her away with his shotgun? You know every farmer packs one.

I don't think I'm gonna eat any farm boiught vegatables for awhile, you never know if tghey came from this now herpe farm or not........

GROSS I hope the family has some LYSOL to get rid of all her STD's, as if that would do the trick...maybe they should burn the bathroom and start over.

to bad, just a little more ways and they could have stop somewhere in afghanistan.

No way. This can't be true. This is too much even for the skank ho, Ms. Hilton. Right? This can't be true.

Why did the German cross the road?

He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

7

Hilarious!! Chocolate hostages – hehehe! :)

And of course she won't get in trouble for trespassing or kicking someone out of their own house. Jesus, somebody just shoot the bitch now so we can be done with her. I really don't think you would go to prison for it...service to society and all.

What a stupid cunt.

#11 check out #2's comment...........Sound familiar

I think this story is fake, cuz Miz Hilton seems to have no problems urinating in limos or on club floors. I mean, why would she develop healthy hygenic habits all of a sudden? She is truly a useless celebrity, and I refuse to stay at any Hilton hotel anywhere in the world. So there - take that, Miz Hilton. Take it up the ass.

I am sure she *thanked him* for his services..come on that is what she does for a living, right?

Whatever happened to just pissing in her mode of transportation? Or is that strictly other people's vehicles? Like the cab ride she took.

Too bad she didn't try to pull that shit in Texas. They'd a' peppered her ass but good.

Alternatively, somebody should have told Herr farmer that miss Hilton was a jew.

Incinerate the toilet. Now.

Fuck it, burn the whole fucking farm down.

Are the Germans really pussies like that? I really thought she would have gotten hit in the critch with a pick axe or something. Where's Bin Laden with a couple of Stingers when you need him???

i heard this a LONG time ago...

Number 7 - definitely the best post of the day. Thank you I laughed so hard I farted here in at work and blamed my squeaky chair. Thanks for your great sense of humor.

I just don't believe this story. Like they wouldn't have called the police. Last thing somebody with a nose like Paris wants is a bunch of Germans in uniform around her.

what the hell happened to that german farmer, did he whack off in the fields, fuck the goat, suck on the cow's tits. He's suppose to be a super race, he should've ram the copter with with his tractor, feed the guards to his bulls then have all his farm animals piss and crap on Paris... no good for nothin' german

What a stupid worthless cunt. . .

We all know this story can't be true because Paris would have just pissed in the nearest empty bottle or somewhere in the corner, even if she was three feet from a private, gold-enameled commode. Because she likes to pee pee.

so, did she pay this farmer to use his toilet? or not? if she didn't then that's not right...but if she did then the article is making her look bad by leaving that part out.

Anybody know where I can get an untraceable Stinger missle system? Am thinking of doing my own "charity work" over the weekend. . .

Thank you, Stallion, for bringing that to my attention. I must've missed that. It's good to know that you can still monitor posts in your drunken state. What a relief.

#24:

Yup, the Germans are pussies all right. It comes from having their asses kicked in two world wars.

Deutschland, Deutschland! Uber alles! Yeah, fuckin' right.

I was about to say something interesting but the picture of that 1-800-dentist zapped away all my thoughts.....OK, let me try....

Paris Hilton is quite possibly the greatest living argument against child warning labels and child-proof caps...and condoms!

Tell me that this is just a hoax....please.....no rational human being that isn't a head of state, Donald Trump, Bill Gates or some form of royalty can do this.

Anyone know if the farmer PLOWED her? Hahahahaherpe-ha SOM MLAB

This story makes me feel like Nazi Germany.

awww fuck, here comes WW3.
Didn't the Germans burn Paris in WWII?
Fucking Hitler, never could do anything right.

While I was locked out of my house for her to pee, I would have taken a mahoosive shit in her 'copter.

what a fuckin idiot. someone please kill her. ala serial killer style. im really surprised with all the breeding psychos out there that this stupid twat is still unmaimed. seriously. someone please off her.

Listen, boys and girls.

Despite the fact that the story posted above happened when there still lay snow in Austria, that's the point: Austria. Paris Hilton used the bathroom of a Tyrolean family in Ischgl which is located in Tyrol which is located in Austria. AND AUSTRIA IS NOT GERMANY! Austria may be little, but it is an independent European state with a government and elections and its own Constitution.

Please notify that.

O.k., so she's contaminated all the toilets in the United States and has to go overseas to use the loo. Someone should build her an outhouse somewhere.

My guess is the family will just move at this point -- cheaper than calling in the hazmat team.

@33 Jane's eyre , no problem, love ya....hehehehhehehehehe

@42: "Today's geography lesson brought to you by: Sauvage... If you like Sausage, you'll LOVE Sauvage! So full of processed meat you'll think you're in Germany, but it's really Austria!!"

Btw, who the fuck cares where it happened.

#39

The Germans burned Paris during WWII and now, ironically, Paris raging herpes sores are burning Germany. Worse than a Mad Cow epidemic!

Holy shit.
I wonder if she left skids...

@42- You have notified us. I think the word you're looking for might be "notice," as in "Please notice that." Or did you just think "notify" sounded smarter?

#42 - the only thing that Austria has provided the world is Hitler & Schwarzenegger - maybe they deserve to be attacked by the Paris super-herpes.

#45 Pinky you are my favorite.

the story doesnt say austria it says germany. how the fuck are we supposed to know it was in austria.

i hate self important assholes that feel the need to go around making sure people on a fucking superficial blog know the difference between austria and germany. assmunch.

okay, I think a lil something got lost in translation. I bet that the German farmer ACTUALLY meant that she smelled like a fish. yuck.

PS I love #7.

In related news, Al-qarwi got his 72 virgins and they all look exactly like Paris Hilton. He's launched a complaint to Mohammed that the agreement was for "virgins."

49
But then, who would there have been to say,

"Get your ass to Mars."

I mean, REALLY?

What a smelly pirate hooker.

From what I understand - the German gov't has collected what was in the bowl to start their own chemical warfare. Aren't they next on the list to hate the US? (If not already)

#45 - I bow to your wittiness

#7, thanks for the laugh.

What a bitch though. Had that been anywhere else someone would have unloaded a few rounds of lead in her uppity non-existent ass.
Had that been me the story would have ended quite differently.

#42, I'm confused, are you Austrian or Germany. If you were German I could understand. Seriously, what country wants to be associated with P-Ho? But at the same time you have alot of blackground knowlege (mixed with what sounds like pride) on Austria.

If'n it ain't American, then shit all over it. That's how I feel.

@60 Apparently, So does Paris!

@50: Why don't you "slap" me with a "subpeona".... lol

#62 As a matter of fact, I have a subpoena right here ;)

sorry, that sounded downright silly in hindsight. . .

@63: Do you ever play "attorney/client"?

When she was here in Toronto last year, my sister was at a club down town for a dinner and she came in with like 5 bodyguards, the place was dead quiet accept for my sister and her friends, since it was still early, she sat over in her roped off section. Then she gets up and goes to the bathroom and takes one of her bodyguards in with her. My sis said they were in there at least 45 mins or longer before they came out.

Either she gets really desperate or she needed help applying cream in hard to reach areas.

#65 LOL All the time! It's my favorite!

okay, I just realized that I've only replied on this site four times, one is this post, the other three were also regarding Paris.

I feel sick... Can someone ban me from replying to Paris posts?

I didn't realize this bitch was so fucking special.

Good thing this dumbass didn't land her chopper on a farm in a remote part of the southeastern U.S. Because:

1) Them rednecks have guns. And lots of them.
2) Shot everyone of them thar bodyguards.
3) Found themselves with a new bride. "Look Pa! She just fell outta the sky! And I'm a gonna keep her.!"
4) Had lots of sex with her.

--

@68: We have a support group that meets on Wednesdays in the basement of the Lutheran Church, right after AA.

#42 - Sorry - I have no idea what you're talking about. I skipped a lot of geometry in high school to go get stoned. Plus, we all know that America is all that matters.

#45 - When I was on Price is Right, Bob Barker tried to sell me on Sauvage and a camper during a showcase showdown. I bid $25,000. Apparently, I was a little high. As was my bid.

so shes got blonde hair. and blue eyes. and germans fall at her feet and do anything for her including giving up the potty....

clearly paris hilton is really:::::

*dramatic music*

paris hitler.

Subpoenas are ok, micropenises are not.

#70 Is there still open bar at the AA meetings? I haven't been in so long. . .

#73 Good thing I have the former and not the latter.

IT GETS EVEN BETTER!!! You've GOT to be kidding me...
http://www.ugoto.com/links/link.php?id=38402

I've been to Germany....we've killed all the ones with sense enough to know how to deal with her.

67 - I just got a job at a law firm myself. Get it? Firm? Subpoenis?
Dicktation?


Titigation?

Yeah.

@74: My sponsor's been losing at the track, so we've implemented a cash bar. It's cool, there's one of those cell phone/party stores next door and they cash all types of checks with no i.d.

#78 In that case, the first round is on me!

hahahaha hes ebaying the toliet. thats even better than destroying it. my only question is will the shipping be by standard post, fed ex, or hazmat team?

this is total and complete bullshit!
i am German and i am a pilot. in germany we have very strict rules where to land and where not.

where to land includes AIRPORTS and AIRFIELDS, while where not to land does include farms among other places!

If this poor bastard landed on a farm without special authorization then it is very likely for him to lose his license and his job.
so i hope this didn't take place.

Oh. My. Gawd. Someone stop this bitch NOW.

mercenary, i hope that stick up your ass comes out safely.

@81 A german pilot with the handle of "mercenary". . . Truly, I have now seen it all, and truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

@ 75: The only way that toilet seat will have any value is if it's used to smash her F&%*ing head in. If that's the case, I start the bidding at 50,000 Euro

ok S.F. guy please put warnings on threads about this ho, because as soon as i read this i had to go straight to my doctor to get a prescription for valtrex. Thanks S.F thanks alot

mycuntisbetterthanurcunt:

Yeah, well my dad's dick could beat up your mom's cunt.

#79 - I would like to second that motion.

Hung Jury.

Pinky - I love you, but I really didn't want to think about parental genetalia today.

This is complete bullshit!!
im a hotel heiress and a blonde and we have very strict rules about where we can take a dump and where we cant take a dump.
we can take a dump in places like YOUR MOMS MOUTH and YOUR BABIES CRIB. but not in farmer joe's toliet.
If this bitch actually pooped in a toliet, well then she has some answering to do to the heiress conection.
shell probably have her trust fund revoked.

Jacq~ I pretend I'm adopted so it's okay.

So now Ebay is finished. Everything that passes through it will contains super herpes.

#88 Hung jury, indeed.

#89 Gonna have to agree with you on that one. . .

i fucking love this place. there always somebody who pops up "i'm a pilot!" "i'm an astronaut" "i'm friends with P. hilton"

such an eclectic bunch.

This story has to be fake.

First, she'd have just hung it out the helicopter door and pooed all over countryside. (Thattt's Hoooootttttt!!!!)

Second, as many rectum-wreckers as she's seen I thought as soon as they waste came out of her intestines it just oozed down her leg to make a new little Tinkerbelle or Nichole Richie or something.

I work for the Centers for Disease Control and I know all about the goverment's coverup of PH's superherpes. It's actually known as "the Hilton that'll never check out of you".

True story.

She probably thought that using the actual toilet would be too bourgeoise and used the sink ... in the kitchen. And then she touched all the food in the fridge without washing her hands. That poor farmer and his family is probably dead by now.

@Ez-EEEE

i hope your dick isn't as small as it seems to be.

or with the words of Blackie Lawless:
SUCK ME, SUCK ME, EAT ME RAW

you poor little S.O.A.B.

pinky_nip you are too funny to live, yet too funny to die...

I heard K-Fed ordered a sammich with bourgeoise on it. MMMMMmmmmmm

ebay.com listing
item description: toliet seat used by PARIS HILTON! L@@K!
starting bid:$0.99
buy it now: $450,000.00
meet the seller: farmer_gustaf (34) 100% positive feedback

Item Listing:
Up for auction 1 gently used toliet seat used by the hot heiress paris hilton!! thats right, you can buy a piece of paris hilton's STD by bidding now!
Paris just stopped by one day and decided to go on my potty, i was honored! i, however, have no use for this many strains of viral infections and am letting this go at a BARGAIN PRICE!!! so bid NOW!!.
please note green coloration in pictures below, the color becomes more vibrant by the day, the seat was originally white. color indicates rare paris mutations! snatch up her snatch juice now!

seller accepts: paypal and check.

Shipping: $25.00 will be airlifted to your house by a team of people with specialized experience handling nuclear waste as soon as payment clears.

Refunds: hell no.

my dick is so small its non-existant.

btw... 100 and FIRST.

Paris is into doing BUTTER.

This is total and complete bullshit!
I am a helicopter and I am made of metal. In Germany we have very strict rules about picking up herpes-infected cunt bags like Paris Hilton.

Where to land includes AIRPORTS, AIRFIELDS, DAVID HASSELHOFF'S HOUSE and CONCENTRATION CAMPS. While where not to land does include farms and France!

If this poor helicopter landed on a farm without special authorization from the Fuhrer then it is very likely for him to lose his license and his job and his life. So I hope this didn't take place. Seriously, I hope Paris did not drop her Cosby kids off in his loo.

another small dicker

I'd like to flush MeganHarris down a German toilet.

yea, we cant all be hung like nazi's mercenary. and its not nice to make fun.

They should've re-opened Auschwitz for a day and gassed the bitch.

Yeah BigJim, they could have told the dumb bitch it was an oxygen bar.

@107 Would you settle for flushing a German down Megan Harris' toilet?
That I think I can arrange!

Or a trendy German club. . .

or a spa for one of her rats, i mean dogs.

Um this is like really, really old news. I'm sort of disappointed with TS. How lame.

if were flushing germans... can mercenary go first? id like to see if he can maguyver his way back up the pipes.

@Ez-EEEE

so this is your last resort?
you are really a poor bastard and
you just made me cry by calling me nazi.

EGGSnBACON make you fat.

1. THIS IS MY LAST RESORT SUFFOCATION *headbangs.
2. I have a dad.
3. nazi tears have magical properties! i bet you can cure leeprocy or something cool like that now.

@Ez-EEEE

ahh, so you don't even know what bastard means?
very interesting!

@Ez-EEEE

maybe you should call your mommy and ask her.

she gives new meaning to the term blitzkrieg.

#16 I still can't quit laughing. That is funny shit. What else you got?

does bastard mean something different in germany? or are you just a fuck up idiot?!?!


three guesses as to which one im assuming.

MeganHarris is a butterface.

megan harris has a cock, yet loves the cock, she/he is a quandary.

TCLMHC

i wonder if "megan harris tears" have any magical powers...
theyre probably not as powerful as "megan harris ballsweat" but it would still be an interesting study.

@Ez-EEEE

i feel some anger here!
maybe you should get yourself a dictionary or maybe ask your mommy, because from what you are saying i can tell, that YOUR daddy's name might be ADOLF!!!
as well look up the word racism because you seem to be a professional in that!

im sorry youre angry. try breathing deeply and saying something like "serenity now" over and over again. im sure those feelings will subside. if not you can always go jew hunting, eh fritz?

I thought one of the perks of "making yourself throw up all the time" and "snorting blow instead of eating" was NOT ever having to actually take a dump.

Especially not while in mid-flight over a socialist country that smells like feet.

i read everything mercenary writes with a german accent in my head. das fucking hilarious.

FACT: German poop is neat and efficient, but not as compact as the poop of Japan.

What is this world coming to?!?!?

When did the germans become such poooseys. I thought she would've been goosed stepped into an oven, her gold fillings and goods confiscated for the Reich in 3 seconds flat, SEIG HEIL!!!!


Uncle.

MmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttssssssssssttttttttttttooooooooooppppppppfffffffffoooooooooorrrrrrrrrrttttttttthhhhhhheeeeeeeellllllllooooooooovvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeoooooooofffffffffGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our office went for lunch at a German-Chinese joint. The food was pretty good. One and half hours after we got to the office, everyone was hungry for power.

sweetcheeks your blog is really funny. i love the mustaches thing. but the photo of baby suri made me almost fall off of my chair. good stuff.

sweet cheeks your sites pertty funny, but i was expecting to see some catholic school girls bent over a desk and whipped with a ruler. the name is false advertising, and im honestly a lil disappointed.

oh and to #135... i lol'ed and then emailed your joke to my mom. i hope she lol's too. but most of all i hope she replies with the meaning of the word bastard so i can get the nazi mercenary off my back.

@@Ez-EEEE

so you are even more stupid than i thought, by saying anger i meant your last post in which you seemed to be a little angry!

i don't care about racists calling me a nazi.

#139
i see the stick didnt make it out.

@@Ez-EEEE

great buddy,
so we are back at the beginning.

Ez-EEEE and Mercenary, hey the war is with Paris or has she infected you both with super-herpes.

While in my bed at night i think up creative ways to torture Paris. Her dump feast has brought me over the edge. I pretty much want to sick wild dogs on her.

thats life... full circle baybee.

@@Ez-EEEE

thats true.
maybe we should stop hating each other and continue hating paris as we should!

<3 ill never stop hating you mercenary <3
*swoon.

@Ez-EEEE

great attitude man!

im a girl. i really thought you would have picked up on it by now, but youre not the strongest vent in the gas chamber are ya?!
anyway theres enough hate in me to go around.

What fun is the world without a few cum dumpsters???
The newest patron to make a deposit in the Paris Hilton sperm bank.
Matt Leinert


This my Q&A with Matt
Q. What happens when you kiss a canary?
A. You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.

@Ez-EEEE

that of course sheds an all new light on the whole thing.
so if you're a chick, maybe we should go back to:

SUCK ME, SUCK ME, EAT ME RAW

by the way,i guess you are very ugly so cancel the last!

#49
Don't forget uber singer Falco. He's Austrian and nobody is bigger than Falco, NOBODY; not even Hasselhoff. Rock ME Amadeus? No, rock YOU Amadeus!

@151 hahahahaha, you can never have enough Falco humor.

But one thing, DON'T MESS WITH THE HOFF!

I'd like to fart on Paris's face.

Is that legal?

@bigponie

sure!

Man do I feel sorry for France and Poland. Things always go badly for them whenever Germans get pissed....

that'd be pretty frightening, knowing that Hilton can swoop down from the sky and deface your bathroom. It's like something you tell your kids to scare them. 'Do your homework or Paris Hilton will come and use our bathroom'

I'm pretty sure she's set back transatlantic relations for years to come, each side blaming the other for engaging in or succumbing to biological warfare. As soon as she landed, those German (or Austrian or Australian) fucks should have built a wall around her, pulled some 90 year old Nazi criminals out of jail, and let them punish her for denegrating the Aryan homeland.

153: Oh it's perfectly legal; she just expects you to get her into a Hollywood party beforehand so the pictures of the act will get her more press.

This is really gonna help America's reputation overseas.
I'm sure the Bush administration in its infinite wisdom is set to name Paris as Goodwill Ambassador.
That would be hot!
If I was president I'd ship her to Gitmo, having the added effect of torturing those ragheads even more.

only America could one have be famous regardless she has more stds than a public toilet and has no real accomplishments than her own other than collecting said stds.

He just have just set the house on fire with her in it. No fuss, no muss, no trying to clean the toilet after. Just build a new shack and start over.

@@ "Nazi" Mercenary "Stick"

She told you in post 102 she was a female...rofl That was too funny.

More, please. Way funnier than anything Flaris Hickton did. Ever.

She truly is Patient Zero for the new, superstrain of gonnorhea. Now, the CDC of Germany will spend years tracing the virus back to Ms. Hilton: June 2006, just like the American CDC traced AIDS back to Gaetan Dugas: 1980.

WTF!! If she was to land on my lawn in a helicopter and use my toilet while me and my family were locked outside - HELL NO!! Who the fuck does she think she is?

I would bust in there and drag her out (panties down and all) - with gloves on of course - and smack the fucken whore!

@150

I thought it was FUCK ME, SUCK ME, EAT ME RAW!

Dammit, now I have to go see if I still have my WASP tapes...

@160
WHAT?! Try again, please.

The bids at $3.00 on ebay for the potty seat with Paris' tinkle on it.

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but damn she abused that privilege!

166

i think that's yoda a green schlong under another name...

...thank you babe :)

yeah right

how about an irrigation project
in africa bitch ?

perfect chance to shoot her and get the world back to normal...guess the germans were infested by her crotch diseases and the gun malfunctioned.

herpesfrog, go die ya fuckin' coob. Everyone hates you.

*tickles Apache Rose* ;)

#173
Don't make me fall out of the hammock! I'll spill my lemonade... then where would we be?

*blows razzberries at Fa*

Parish Herpes is completely and UTTERLY fucked..... while in Toronto she hooked up with a guy who was SUPPOSE to be in a hospital caring for his premature baby with his girlfriend of 8 years....well He is a hockey player and has pucks for brains cos he fucked Parish Hepes brains and gushed a load full of STD'S

http://www.canada.com/topics/entertainment/story.html?id=eda8efe2-7dd6-4581-afae-cb5c3b3d76b0&k=98808

Parish Herpes needs to drown in pool of her own STD'S!!!!

I hate her!!!!

You guys are so stupid. Total duds. You talk crap about me, post my myspace page, say all these stupid things, but then when I don't comment for 2 weeks, you say you "missed me"

fools.

I love you MeganHarris.

165...Apache R.


The lyrics go "Anything you fucking want me to do to you, and then some, you foxy bitch"

Maybe that is just me....

Tranny- I think you may be paraphrasing, but I like your version too...

179 AP

Oops my bad! I hear lyrics, and I think "Artistic License"

177. And I love, ... the cooch.

MeganHarris, don't be silly. We just missed you because you are so much less worse than that rotten banana. It's not that we missed you - like for real.

Not!

TRANNYGRANNY!! Now that you and Zanna are married, can we have an affair?

180-
I hear lyrics and think 'ohh, gotta try that' (well, some of them), but mostly I'm all about the rhythm...

184 Cruisin;

Good to see you, ya hottie!!! Z and I aren't married, just engaged, and more weirdly happy than is apparent....Talledega is where the vows go down. In the meantime, what about a 3-way?

186 I'm awesome at the 3-way. I'll bring my tools.

#105 Grand prize of the night is awarded to you, that was fucking hilarious! #110 & 135 your the runner's up!

Whistle while you work.
Hitler is a jerk.
Mercenary bit his weenie.
Now it doesn't work.

Mercenary meet Edna, I'm sure she'd love to bite your Nazi weenie.

wow thats rude. what a total cunt!

Did you ever have that feeling,

Like it'd be worth the life sentence if you killed her?

God I am SO sick of hearing about this bitch

PS. #51 you are my god

at least i got 1 fan here. Musa.

Whatever, everone her hates Paris Hilton too.. so by hating me, you put me on her level, which is better than you losers sitting at home.

Holy shit - imagine the scenario - a GOOD German farmer, works hard, builds up his farm, probably survived the 2nd World War, Hitler, etc - and waht happens??? A cocksucking, herpes infected WHORE lands on his farm in a strange contraption, wanting to void her disease-ridden twat of its germ-laden cargo in his farmyard along with the other sows already roaming his pastures pissing and fucking at random (like Paris does in numerous Hollywood nightclubs every weekend)...worse than ANY alien landing if you ask me - what a dirty FUCKING whore...God, I hate her...

LMFAO @ #40

AND the stupid bitch smokes. Kill her now.

If we could convince the Terrorists that she's an important icon to our imperialist dog culture, maybe they'd do it for us >=3

I love you MeganHarris.


Love to murder you, that is.

#194 - what do you have against cigarettes? They are the most delicious things God ever created, besides little infant babies. And when I can't have one it makes me angry.

I hate tree hugger non-smokers who all claim that we all need our freedom and that the government sucks, blah blah blah, but then if you smoke around one of them all of a sudden personal rights & freedoms go right out the fucking window. useless losers. go smoke a cock.

WHEN will she ever be held accountable for all the crap she pulls? She should have been arrested several times over by now. She needs to get knocked off that high horse of hers. And they say Britney is a bad parent? The Hiltons need to be drug out into the street and shot for the disgraceful way they raised Paris and the way they allow her to behave.

That never happened. Granted, we live in a very fucked up world....but not THAT fucked up. Nope, not true.

someone seriously needs to do the world a facor and shoot Parasite Hilton right between the eyes

they should do the world a faVor too lol oops

HAHHAHA. U PEOPLE ON NON-COLOR ARE SOO SOOO SOOO GULLIBLE AND STUPID! AM I THE ONLY 1 WHO THINKS THAT THIS CHICK LOOKS LIKE A WALKING BIRD? BUTT-UGLY. U GUYS WILL EAT UP ANYTHING AND ANYONE WHO WALKS ON TO THE STREET. SHE SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLACE IN HOLLYWOOD...OR ON A STREET CORNER FOR THAT MATTER.

danielle likes cocks & balls in her mouth & vag

but I heard she only likes white cocks & balls. no colored's please.

B-I-A-T-C-H-O wow, i thought it would've sounded better if i spelled it...it doesn't.
LOOK, WHORE, WHATEVER YOU AND YOUR MOTHER DO ON YOUR FREE TIME IS BETWEEN YOU AND HER. SAVE YOUR SICK STORIES FOR SUMONE WHO CARES. U PIECE OF TRASH....ugh i can smell u through the computer. IF U RESPOND BACK, THEN YOU REALLY ARE THE MORON I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE.

ooohhh Danielle. I am scared. Not of you, of the the fucking long-ass claw nails I can see you pasting onto your fingers. Tell me, how do you wipe your ass when you're done poohing with nails like that, shaniqua? And don't they inhibit you from properly picking up & dialing out, which is basically the only thing receptionists have to do everyday?

I hope he sells the rest of the loo paper on EBAY or better- he could take out the pipes from his house, and see if there is any urine or poo( cause I suspect thats the elephant in the room here) and get DNA from it- and clone Paris Hilton, or bottle it and drink it later_ god, this guy has hit the mother load!!
Paris Hilton has been so out of it, she has pee'd down her legs at nightclubs( trust me on this one) - WHY would she land a chopper at a farm to take a wee?
Pooing in a chopper is not good form, so THAT I get.

Hard to believe this is true. It's also hard to believe it's not true. So I guess that leaves us somewhere in the middle doesn't it? Go fuck yourself asshole.

oh sooo funny billy bob. tell me, do you shower daily, or is that crusty residue on your skin just there because your a saltine cracker? and after your finished feeding the pigs, do you go and watch the dixie chicks and do the ho-down? hahaha. my job is way bettter than a receptionist you racist piece of lard. you'll be working for me in the future, you low-class, ignorant, wannabe.

If you were at all educated you would have known that you don't need all those commas.
I love it when hoochie mommas always insist that anyone who doesn't like them is a "hillbilly". Although I don't reside in the south (thankfully because you sound like you're from Mississipi) I do love to fuck goats.

thats simply wonderful that you love to screw goats. im sure your mother would appreciate that. and dont question my education you dumbass. i have plenty more of it than you do. i could really care less if you like me or not. your the idiot, fighting like a little bitch over the computer....really smart! WASHINGTON DC...please visit, i would love to meet your ugly ass in person and tell you about yourself.

oh, by the way, i heard you got a new job! congratulations!. how does it feel like being a slave to 50 cent?

HERE'S MY DIRECT LINE IN CASE YOU WANTED TO CHAT ABOUT HOW RETARDED YOU ARE: 555-WHYTE-TRASH

There you go again - having to bring up slaves again!! BY the way, since you're not a receptionist, how do you pick the cotton with those long fingernails?

oh, easy, i have your white ass do it because your my bitch.

I have aperfectly tanned ass because of the privacy of my yard I can sunbathe nude thank you very much. But at least mine goes away...

whoopie! yours goes away. i'd rather have a tan then be see through the rest of my life. AND for your dumbass information its called 'PIGMENT', and thanx to mines, i dont have to worry about getting wrinkly and disgustingly soggy like you white bread people get in old age.

thank god you can sunbathe nude (my eyes are burning!). i hope you get skin cancer.

by the way, are you a GIRL or a BOY? i can't seem to tell since one minute you sound SISSY and the other you sound BITCHY..i'm thinking a confused transexual crossdresser?

last

Hoochie-momma & momma of future thugs of america: do you like movies about gladiators? have you ever seen a grown man naked?

you must be talking to someone else....because my children will be no such thing. why don't you do us all a favor and chop of that itty bitty thingy between your legs so in the future, idiotic, trailerpark trash eating worms like yourself don't escape into the world.

you know what else is itty-bitty? Your paycheck.

people who can't even count to 10 would think so.

You only make $10 an hour? Wow, that's pathetic. Even monkeys can make that blindfolded... case in point.

You best be talkin' to those baby-daddies' abouts alimony... oh wait, you have to have been married to get that. oh well... there's always killing yourself so your kids can have chance at a better life.

again....where do you work at? MONKEY ... thats so original...heres a more creative term for YOUR ass.."COUNTRY-CRACKER" or better yet "FUGLY"

you'll be so lucky if you ever produce children with that face of yours.

suggestion: get a face lift* *pronto*...damn...nevermind. that would only make you look even worse.

Remember when I was so much better at this than you are? Remember when you kept embarassing yourself on here because you sound like an uneducated baffoon who thinks she knows what people look like based on "computer talk". Waste of skin, darkie.

*clear* now we're even.

Clear always wins! Now that I finally have you agreeing with me go do the following:

Open up the drawer that you let one of your baby-daddies' use when he stops by for booty calls and open up his bag of heroine.*
Now OD on it.

*If none in drawer call Uncle Marion Barry.

ugh yeah....

here's an EQUATION 4 U:

MONEY is GREEN
WHITIES are WHACK
YOUR just an ASS
and SUPERIOR's BLACK

..take a few hours, or days, to let that sink into your golfball sized brain and then get back 2 me :)

It would actually be "You're An Ass", because it should read as "You Are", Not YOUR An Ass. But for secretaries such as yourself who always need to write in shorthand (i.e. 4 U) it would just need to be U R AN Ass.

dumbshit. aahh, public school educations w/ free lunches for the free-loaders whose parents are too lazy to get real jobs so they get hand-outs from the hard-working tax payers of the country.

yeah...when i need an ENGLISH lesson, i'll call you.

speaking of WORK. you've been dodging my question "WHERE DO YOU WORK"? you mind answering it?

BTW..it wouldn't hurt you to take a few history classes over the summer. AFRICAN-AMERICANS did ALL the work back in the day so that you WHITEBREAD FREELOADERS could BENEFIT. so before you go calling ANYONE a FREELOADER, or LAZY, take a good look in the mirror..thats if you can. i hear you always BREAK them when you try. :)

You just can't admit that I am better than you, but that's Ok, I understand you need to feel as good about yourself as a poor hooker can.

Oh and please don't call me when you need english lessons, my town doesn't allow your type to phone us at home or on our cell phones.

Sociologist and anthropologist Robert Stuckert examined census and fertility data to estimate how many blacks in America had passed as white, and how many whites had African ancestry as a result. His statistical tables showed that during the 1940s, 15,550 light-skinned blacks per year crossed over to live as whites, for a total of about 155,500 for the decade. Based on these figures, he determined that by 1950, some 21% of whites (about 28 million people then) had black ancestry within the last four generations, and he predicted that this number would only grow in the decades to come.

YOUR 'type' is so GULLIBLE.

Blaccks don't have blonde hair & blue or green eyes, which most of my family have.
And our hair isn't all scraggily & nappy either. We get to wash it AND brush it everyday.

too bad you don't get to WASH and BRUSH your ASS hair everyday....dirty whore. here's some more things that YOU people fall under the category of:

• Poor hygiene.
• Poorly kept property. (broken or dismantled vehicles especially)
• Tattoos.
• Marijuana, crack cocaine, methamphetamine and/or oxycontin use.
• Ignorance or lack of education. sometime even racist, homophobic viewpoints
• Clannish, particularly evidenced by racist attitudes.
• Laziness and lack of ambition.
• Unstable families.
• Poor education. Usually did not graduate from high school or attend college.
• Issues with alcoholism.
• Sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancy, illegitimate children, and incest.
• Poor diet, poor health or obesity.
• Unhealthy dentition
• Unruly behavior in public, including drunkenness, swearing, and brawling.
• Poverty
• Residing in public housing, inexpensive apartments, or rental housing.
• Illiterate, or without the ability to speak standard English.
• Ownership of aggressive dogs, such as pit bulls or Rottweilers
• Musical tastes limited to country and western, heavy metal, or hip hop music.
• Imitating the hip hop culture, usually in an economical fashion (see wigger)
• Wearing the mullet hairstyle.
• Wearing a type of sleeveless undershirt called a wifebeater on its own (males).
• Wearing a type of undergarment called a thong, and in particular wearing it in a manner that exposes it above one's waistband. (See whale tail).
• Driving rusty domestic vehicles such as Chevy Corsica or Ford Tempo.
• Driving an older model domestic pickup truck like an El Camino or a muscle car like the Camaro.
• Having jobs that consist of some type of physical or menial labor.
• Keeping a non-functioning automobile elevated on cinder blocks in the yard.

DON'T DENY IT...U COULD ALWAYS FILE FOR WELFARE TO GET BY.

Wait, what? I couldn't hear you with that dick in your mouth. But I guess your kids have to eat dinner somehow.

Oh & stereotypes don't bother me because I think the same things listed above about poor people from the south. So no harm done!

u WOULD know about the existence of a
"blow-job" now wouldn't you? what a slut!

of course you're not worried about those stereotypes...(cough). *hag*

typical lazy black people. Can't even type the word "YOU". It's not like you're in a big hurry to go anywhere or go to work, so just put down the pipe & the Colt 45 and type it out from now on.

this coming from someone who types on the computer twenty-four hours of the day..a stolen laptop at that..because we all know that trailer homes have no electricity.

go get a job, you drug addicted whore of a slut.

My job is telling other people what to do, and most days I work from my home office. So, good luck answering to the man at the post office. I am awesome!

yeah "home office" codename:unemployed.

and by "telling people what to do" you mean telling your dog to "go fecth"/what a lamo.

It's called TV & Film Post Production. I know you wouldn't understand the responsibilities or rewards you get when you actually work hard & prosper at the same company for many years in a row but one of them is getting what you ask for. I get to work from home when I choose to. And when you have a house like I do, you want to spend as much time here as possible.

Do you get to lounge by a pool with a wireless laptop and work & also get to fuck off with annoying types such as yourself?
No, didn't think so. Sit down & zip it.

bitch please. what you just have described is an episode form Beverly Hills 90210...which you probably stole from the cable company when you illegally wired it to your television.

*"working hard" isn't even in your vocabulary. lazy ass, foot to mouth, skank.

Oh, you watch Beverly Hills 90210... that's cute. A girl can dream can't she... sorry that's what you have to resort to pretend you have money. I remeber that one episode where they had a black person on it but they were poor & belonged to gangs I think.
tee hee hee.

I have nothing to prove to you, you'll never believe me because you're nothing but a jealous, poor little bigot. Have fun watching soap operas though... I see you work a lot since you have time to watch teenage soap operas from 15 years ago. Fucking loser.

for someone who has nothing to prove..you sure do like to run off at the mouth alot.

oh yes, i watch shows like Laguna Beach, The Hills, and Seventh Heaven as well.

i get to laugh in the privacy of my own at how dumb and pathetic you retards really are. tee heeee..or whatever shit you said.

this story is a complete lie paris hilton does not smoke

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