June 22, 2006
Kevin Federline gets his charity on

Kevin Federline has finally decided to give back to the community with the worst charity I've ever seen in my entire life. He showed up to Times Square yesterday to promote Virgin Mobile's 1-cent text-message service and help launch their "Save the Penny" fund-raising campaign which is aimed at keeping the penny in circulation, as well as collecting spare change for various children's organizations.
"What's up, New York!" Federline shouted from a stage after arriving in an armored truck decorated with 120,000 pennies. "I'm here with Virgin Mobile to bring the power back to the penny! I feel good about the penny! I'm glad to give it back to these charities." Then he sent the first 1-cent text, claiming it went to "my wife." Mugging for the cameras, Federline held up a penny and slipped it in the armored vehicle's donation slot. Then K-Fed took a cigarette break, wiping his hand on his pants before doing a few television interviews."I just gave all my pennies to charity!" he bragged to one TV outlet. To another, he said: "A bunch of charities get these children off the streets - build a better life, build a better future, for these children." And to another: "There's thousands of kids out here that have nowhere to go." He admitted to "Access Hollywood's" Tim Vincent: "It's my first time doing a charity."
What a shock. Finished with his compassionate interviews, K-Fed kissed publicist Marilyn Lopez goodbye, and four bodyguards escorted him to a black SUV. A block into the ride, the SUV rear-ended a pedicab, prompting a curse-fest between the pedicab driver and one of Federline's guards. At which point the Naked Cowgirl - a pastie-wearing, guitar-strumming Louisa Holmlund - toplessly approached the vehicle. A rear tinted window rolled halfway down, and a hand came out to give her two $1 bills.
If you managed to read through all that you must've noticed at the end he gave two $1 bills to a naked woman while only donating his change to charity. And you wonder why I consider him my personal hero.
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Comments
1. Posted by AJKINCT on June 22, 2006 02:01 PM
Kevin Kevin Kevin you would be notin without Brit. She needs to kick his white trash ass to the curb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Posted by eatmyass_sherry-co on June 22, 2006 02:05 PM
Priceless.
Oh wait, nevermind. It's worth $2.
TCLTC
3. Posted by biatcho on June 22, 2006 02:08 PM
pssst Britney Lover #1: the celebrities pictured on here can't hear you when you comment. So you don't have to talk to them like they're really here. Go talk to the pictures hanging on your bedroom wall - they might talk back if you imagine it hard enough.
4. Posted by smashinroaches on June 22, 2006 02:08 PM
Kev: Yo where my niggas at. Oh, they left. Come to think of it,I never had any. Ohh shit dude.
5. Posted by imabeeatch on June 22, 2006 02:09 PM
Here's my two cents
TCLKFC
6. Posted by smashinroaches on June 22, 2006 02:09 PM
Kevin IS a charity case and Britney is his sponser.
7. Posted by bigponie on June 22, 2006 02:09 PM
note to K-fed, don't attempt the west coast sign with arthritic hands.
8. Posted by Jacq on June 22, 2006 02:10 PM
Then, he got out of the SUV two blocks down the road with a coffee can and pandered for change from passers by until he got his $2.01 back and bought a pack of Kools. Cause black people smoke Kools.
9. Posted by Jacq on June 22, 2006 02:12 PM
"There's thousands of kids out here that have nowhere to go."
They'll have a nice-ass mansion in Malibu to stay at once the paternity tests are verified.
10. Posted by Geno on June 22, 2006 02:12 PM
I agree with The Superficial. He is my hero. After hating him & rolling my eyes for a while, he's won me over. The guy has no talent, but he's made himself famous & tons of cash. I give up. Good for him. That bastard.
http://genosworld.blogspot.com/
11. Posted by Jacq on June 22, 2006 02:13 PM
Someone needs to punch that homo-lookin' wiggin' motherfucker in the face.
12. Posted by BriBri on June 22, 2006 02:13 PM
That was so beyond lame that it will take the light from lame 150 light years to reach this. smh...
13. Posted by MotherOfPearl on June 22, 2006 02:13 PM
I'm just wondering who decided it would be a good idea to have KFed as head spokesperson for any sort of promotional event, even a half-baked one like this. What marketing genius jumped from his or her desk and said "By golly, I need the male half of the SPEDerlines to promote this waaackky new charity?"
14. Posted by Jacq on June 22, 2006 02:17 PM
No matter how much money he makes, Kevin still goes to bed every night wishing he will wake-up as Sean Paul.
Where is M@CE when someone needs to be SMASHED?!
15. Posted by Jacq on June 22, 2006 02:18 PM
#11 - I forgot to mention that I wish that someone could be me.
16. Posted by bigponie on June 22, 2006 02:19 PM
just imagine, those fingers have been inside Britt's twinkies.
17. Posted by SpecialAgentWind on June 22, 2006 02:21 PM
I donate my "two cents" that K-Dump should be killed. Inhumanely. Long torturous death on cable tv. At 7pm, pre-emting the snoozefest Entertainment Tonight. All viewers should get free Cheetos. To feed to their fatass kids. All on a Wednesday night.
18. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on June 22, 2006 02:26 PM
Figures when he finally does charity work it involves penny donations. Could anyone expect K-Fag to get actual whole dollars from anyone (except Britney)? I love how the press just follow and wait with him, knowing he will screw up eventually. He gives a cent to homeless kids, and two bucks to a half-naked headcase. In a sense, he now knows what it is like to be his wife.
19. Posted by plymouthrock on June 22, 2006 02:27 PM
oh god, this is the best story I've read on here for a good long while. Classic.
20. Posted by IFuckingHateYou on June 22, 2006 02:28 PM
K-Sped, here's all my pennies, please choke on them.
¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢
¢ ¢ ----
¢ ¢¢¢¢¢¢¢
¢¢¢¢¢
Please forgive the crude drawing of a penny-cock, I'm not very talented with this shit.
21. Posted by Italian Stallion on June 22, 2006 02:28 PM
I always thought that A stand s for the Atlanta Braves, in this case I guess it stands for allomony..........
22. Posted by IFuckingHateYou on June 22, 2006 02:29 PM
And it came out even worse than it looked when I typed it. Damn it, he cane still choke on it.
23. Posted by jane's eyre on June 22, 2006 02:38 PM
He looks like a white Snoop Dogg in this picture. Minus the talent.
24. Posted by Giggles on June 22, 2006 02:39 PM
God, he's pathetic.
25. Posted by RichPort on June 22, 2006 02:40 PM
This charity must really NOT want any money at all. Even the poor kids are like "Fuck this shit, and FUCK A K FED!!!" If he wants to give to charity, he should swagger his wannabe ass through uptown Manhattan and get the smile slapped off of his face, and his bling pawned for fat nickle bags...
#5 and #20 pretty freakin' funny
26. Posted by Spacedog on June 22, 2006 02:46 PM
I'm glad the welfare to work program is going so well. These people need tough love.
27. Posted by ESQ on June 22, 2006 02:51 PM
Dear K-Fucked:
Please go away and never return.
Thank you.
Respectfully,
All of Humanity
28. Posted by ESQ on June 22, 2006 02:53 PM
P.S. You cheap fuck, you spend more of Britney's money on Cristal every night instead of donating it to charity and a woman that has to wear pasties for a living.
29. Posted by Spindoc on June 22, 2006 02:57 PM
K-Fed donating to Charity is just like a Homeless guy donating money to a homeless shelter.
30. Posted by spanglish on June 22, 2006 03:07 PM
Somebody bleached Snoop Dogg white!
Fo shizzle!
31. Posted by tits_on_snack on June 22, 2006 03:09 PM
His hand looks like the hand of a kid I went to highschool with. He had one deformed arm with a three-fingered hand, and we called him "Trainwreck". He traced his three-fingered hand on the cover of all his text books.
Ah, Trainwreck... where are you now...
32. Posted by spanglish on June 22, 2006 03:09 PM
With all these jokes about Britney saying she is country, where is K'ev N from?
Also, sure, a five year old may want to sit on your lap and "drive" the car, but a nine month old has no such wishes.
33. Posted by spanglish on June 22, 2006 03:12 PM
¢¢¢
¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢
¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢
¢¢¢
34. Posted by Jacq on June 22, 2006 03:26 PM
#31- If I had three fingers, I'd trace that shit on everything! Only, I'd just stick up my middle finger.
I'm posting so much, I think I'm turning into lamebananas. Or I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so.
35. Posted by Hara on June 22, 2006 03:33 PM
If rappers got pissed about Bow wow and B2K doing the crip walk because that's "posing" why the F hasn't anyone shot this fool already? He is NOT from the west side. FYI Kevin, that doesn't mean anyone born on the Pacific Coast. That little information gem is free- no change required.
If I were a gang member, I' dont care if it's the effing Chinese Mafia, I would have shot [read, "capped"]K-Fed a LONG time ago. Heck If i owned a gun he'd be wise to watch his back.
- btw, pretty much every black man photographed near K-fed who is NOT commiting an act of violence on said person needs to turn in their Black Card immediately. officially revoked.
36. Posted by jane's eyre on June 22, 2006 03:38 PM
NO sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
no fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark out...
Did you know "turning Japanese" means masturbation?
You dirty bird, you.
37. Posted by nicholelibra on June 22, 2006 03:43 PM
Wait a minute, I thought that Kevin was the charity case? I guess this would be his first time doing charity because he's usually doing the sponsor.
38. Posted by Jewbacca on June 22, 2006 03:49 PM
I wish Kfed would come to my neigborhood and start throwing signs. He'd get dropped pretty quick, I'd say. 6poppin 5droppin 4olk nat1on 4 li43.
39. Posted by spanglish on June 22, 2006 03:53 PM
He's such a dork. At least eminem had his own thing going. I didn't feel he was trying to be black. K'ev N is like the new Vanilla Ice. It just doesn't work for a white guy to act that way. I don't particularly like it when black guys do it. Try taking care of your kids, or better yet, put a rubber on or get snipped and millions of Americans might admire you (especially the women). Guys that neglect their kids are not cool. There should be a most wanted list on these guys. They should be shot with a tranquilizer dart and snipped while they are asleep.
40. Posted by spanglish on June 22, 2006 03:57 PM
squinty smokers eyes and no lips
DUDE...
41. Posted by spamnews on June 22, 2006 04:03 PM
if you really need to ...
http://static.flickr.com/31/41862588_22e3b877af.jpg
42. Posted by maddawg_pimp on June 22, 2006 04:06 PM
Somewhere a trailer park is missing 2 of it's genetic defects.
43. Posted by spanglish on June 22, 2006 04:09 PM
*in a Mike Tyson voice*
Dude, like me and Britney's real tight, ya know. She's real understanding. She's helping me be a real man by paying my babies' mommy child support, for real. Britney's so hot. I like a girl to have a booty. She backs that thing up any time I want to. Shit...
44. Posted by spanglish on June 22, 2006 04:13 PM
...she buys me kick ass clothes and pays for me and my homies to go to the movies. Even gets us the big tub of popcorn and everything. She's just so cool. Ya know, maybe I should do something nice for her. I'll have to scrounge through the couch and see if I can find some change. She really liked that hat I got her last week with the flower on it. Wore it to the beach and everything...
45. Posted by Jacq on June 22, 2006 04:24 PM
#36 - Well, in that case, if I'm going to be masturbating THANK GOD I've still got all 5 fingers.
46. Posted by MeganHarris on June 22, 2006 04:51 PM
this guy needs to go AWAY!!!
47. Posted by scamps on June 22, 2006 05:23 PM
Of course K-Fed would support this. If the penny was taken away, his entire net worth would disappear.
48. Posted by imabeeatch on June 22, 2006 05:31 PM
In this picture K-Fag looks just like this homeless guy I saw on the corner downtown on my way into work this morning. Seriously, does this guy ever bathe?
49. Posted by Spindoc on June 22, 2006 05:50 PM
I bet he smells like the bottom of the donations hamper at the Salvation Army
50. Posted by frenchtoaststix on June 22, 2006 06:02 PM
If a K-Fag shows up at a charity event, does anyone notice? Apparently, yes. What has this lameass done except knock one chick up without marrying her; dump her when she's knocked up with #2 for $hitney; marry that gravy train in a hot skippy hurry; knock HER up; spend money on Cristal and strippers that his wife has earned with her ass-shaking, fake titty- bearing, and painful, cat-in-heat warbling; continue to appear looking smelly, like a quasi-ghetto wannabe, smoking; and finally knock up the gravy train AGAIN. So basically he's famous for fornicating, frolicking, and fetuses. Maybe he should just DIE already!
51. Posted by Dragulf on June 22, 2006 06:19 PM
@ #37 - too funny!
B-Fed (As brit is feeding that asshat!) needs stop trying to poke out britney's eyes all the time. That's all he is doing, practicing.
TC >L< TC!!!
52. Posted by Fa Cube Itches on June 22, 2006 06:36 PM
Donating to charity and supporting the working nudist. Christ, Albert Schweitzer has nothing on this guy as a humanitarian!!!
53. Posted by cibby on June 22, 2006 06:40 PM
he gave $2 to a topless guitarist?
what is this charity? They're working to save the penny? All of them?
54. Posted by bunnyhugger on June 22, 2006 07:25 PM
wait, wait! i've been under my rock again... i wanna know more about the naked cowgirl and why she took his two slimey bucks!
k-fed is a total waste of space. i wish this ugly fucker would just die.
55. Posted by idntgiva_hOoT! on June 22, 2006 08:12 PM
Dang, he donated a penny! Whoohoo, now all the hungry children in the world are going to be saved! He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
56. Posted by ptprez on June 22, 2006 08:18 PM
save the penny?...
was anferney hardaway there???
57. Posted by BigJim on June 22, 2006 09:06 PM
Looking at this picture makes me want to punch Kevin really, really, really bad.
Really.
58. Posted by TrannyGranny on June 22, 2006 10:08 PM
57 BJ
I want to punch a lot of people really bad...
On the other hand, I must admit, given the choice between giving money to kids, and giving money to a topless chick, the ta-ta-ta-titties will win out every time.
59. Posted by ApacheRose on June 22, 2006 10:30 PM
58-
Or you could give money to a topless mom and everybody wins!
60. Posted by peanut on June 23, 2006 12:13 AM
I don't know guys. I would not commit myself to a man if I had to buy my own wedding ring. Get a friggen clue!!!!!!!!!
61. Posted by Fuzz Martin on June 23, 2006 06:55 AM
#7 - When a white person makes that gesture, it doesn't stand for "west coast," rather it stands for "white trash." It is often accompanied by a flat hand on top of the middle apex of the "W," as in, "we're taking a time-out for white trash."
62. Posted by Nikki on June 23, 2006 09:39 AM
"toplessly."
This story spun into so many levels of unbelievability, my mind can't even handle it.
63. Posted by Sinister Gossip on June 23, 2006 10:27 AM
Who cares about the penny. I hate pennies, they are completely worthless (literally), and this idiot is trying to save them.
Only Kevin Federline would give out his phone number, try to save a worthless obsolete currency, and then make a complete mockery of himself in the process. Why is he married to Britney again? Shouldn't he be under some bridge somewhere lighting up?
64. Posted by Pat on June 23, 2006 12:38 PM
K-fed reminds me of that Mr. Show sketch about the television network WPCOBCN: the White People Co-Opting Black Culture Network. Soon we'll hear about K-Fed's new group Three Times One Minus One - T.T.O.M.O!!!!!!!
65. Posted by Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest on June 24, 2006 09:36 PM
K-FED RULES!!!!! JUICE THAT MONEY!!!
66. Posted by Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest on June 24, 2006 09:38 PM
KED FED RULES! JUICE THAT MONEY!!
67. Posted by HughJorganthethird on June 25, 2006 12:39 PM
Kevin Federline is like Ghandi 2006.