It's like she's trying to be a human Barbie.

That's cuz Papa Simpson can't get rock hard with slouchy boobie belly.

I think the Superficial is really reaching here. I do not see what is wrong with her posture in these photos. I mean, cmon, she looks really fucking hot in these photos!

Tom Cruise might even forget the cock for a moment if he saw Jessica looking like this.

I'd eat her with a spoon

Her skirt is so short I can tell what her fallopian tubes are doing.

Classy, Jess, very classy.

Why is this chick such a loser? Someone PLEEEEASE make her go away!! She looks like a Femmebot.

I'd gouge her eyes out with a spoon. Then push her down a flight of stairs and watch her try to cry.

I'd fuck her 8 ways from Sunday, even if I would have to paper-bag her head since she looks a little manyl lately. Must be all the testosterone she pumping into her body.
And by that, I mean all of Papa Joe's cum she's been swallowing.

TCLTC, in case anybody has forgotten.

Good thing the CSI guys aren't there with the black light. Some of Mr. Simpson might show up.

Someone told her that the first sign of being a retard was being able to touch your elbows behind your back. She keeps on trying, just in case...

Despite the fact that she looks like a fucking trashy whore, she seems to be morphing into something of a mongoloid - too much plastic surgery...maybe her back is sore from laying on it so much during screen tests...

(No Jess, a mongoloid is not someone from Mongolia...)

#10 Tee Hee Thank you, its been a slow morning.

So since divorcing her hubby, she's: a)clearly worked on her tan, b)gotten her highlights redone, c)gotten into miniskirts and d)... I was begining to forget why she was a celebrity. On the other hand, she is not knocked up with curlers in her hair.

Two words: Stepford Wife.

Or more accurately, Stepford Ex-Wife.

Lets see, she's not a drug addict, not a whore, not an heiress, married a shmuck but at least one who had some capitol originally, um - I don't get it. Is this sour grapes? I think she is erroneously dumped in with the rest of your regulars. I'd hit it, then be bored by it.

It's about time Ken did her hair. Speaking of, he is suspiciously absent. I guess she just takes him slumming?

Between Brit and Jessica - Jessica won.

#15

oh brother...

I wonder when she bends her knees if it sounds like a barbie doll's knees.

Can you say Chyna Doll?

How to spend 4.0 hours when bored?

Connect the moles on Jessica.

She looks like something that should be mounted on the front of a ship.

Her back must be killing. She's sticking her chest out, sticking her butt out, and making her calves bow. The pressure of this unnatural stance is visible in the big vein popping out of her ankle in pic #4. Way to advertise, jess.

And I think she's going for the "60's Barbie".

That is odd...
http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

shes doing that because her boobs are real and shes trying to keep them in place when really she should have worn a different dress or at least better support. Mystery solved.

http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/baby_blabber/the_baby_is_here_yall_20060606.php

I hate it when she tucks her chin down on her shoulder like that.

what's going on with her leg in the first pic on the bottom? there's an odd bump....

LOL@#10

She looks like one of those bendable gumby figures. I feel like trying to bend her leg all the way back.

Waterranger #5, read GoFugYourself much? Plagiarism is lame.

("Fab legs, Aisha. And great shoes. But that weird pointilist nightmare of a dress is so short, I can tell what your fallopian tubes are doing." -GFY, May 12, 2006)

Look at those rickety legs...Suddenly I'm becoming a Jessica fan. Pass the Chicken by the Sea, will ya ?

Is this at a promo for Dukes of Hazzard II? because if it is I'm totally amped. Or maybe it's all the Vault soda I drank. It's either one or the other.

Jessica, I promised to feed you meatless Buffalo wings if you'd let me do you doggystyle.

i actually think that she's looking very good lately

She's trying very hard, isn't she?

she's also making sure that her thighs don't touch by sticking her ass out.

Oh I forgot to add...Happy 666 day! I saw the devil...or it might have been 'lil Kim, I'm not sure. Is there a difference?

She's standing stiff because she's Jess Simpson, and just like she didn't know Chicken of the Sea was tuna, she wasn't aware ben-wa balls go up your pussy and not your ass.

#26 - Me too. I think she's aiming for cutesy. She too fuckin' old for cutesy.

@37, you have me choking with laughter...

She's really very hot, with one exception... I've been saying this since I first saw her a few years ago... SHE NEEDS A NOSE JOB!... If she got that wicked camel's hump taken out of the bridge of her nose she would be nearly perfect... Oh yeah...

@37 Remember the time when Jessica turned down an offer to meet Bush?
She was confused because she heard that she had to SHOW Bush,
instead of just meeting with him - that's why she turned the offer down, you see...

#29

I noticed that one too.

#38

Hey you, what do you mean- too fucking old??? … isn’t she like 23 or 4? … that’s pretty young isn’t it? … I mean what’s your “cutesy cut off age” anyway??? ... I think she’s just… licky-licious

"So since divorcing her hubby, she's: a)clearly worked on her tan, b)gotten her highlights redone, c)gotten into miniskirts and d)... I was begining to forget why she was a celebrity. On the other hand, she is not knocked up with curlers in her hair."

Well said, Lord Absu. The tan is way too much, and standing like that is incredibly tacky- and bad for your back, but I believe that point is moot. At least she has proven that she really *is* a no talent ass clown.

(And yes, I stole that fair and square from Office Space, for all you worried about that sort of thing).

she's a robot trying to eat her left shoulder

Step 4: Shove broomstick up your ass.

1) dress is ugly and too tight

2) it looks as though she's had SOMETHING done to the twins

3) not only is she thrusting her chest out, but she's trying to push her butt out too (or maybe the dress is actually shapped like that...like a tube that shapes her?)

4) from a profile, her stomach looks bigger than her boobs, thus making her boobs look small

5) looking at the last picture, her toes are coming out and over the edge of the shoe...tacky

Finally:
6) if you look carefully at the left boob, where the flower sticks out, you can see a hint of a nipple

What's Tomkat up to these days?

kidding

Just a thought:

Maybe Lachey emitted "stupid" phenomerones and leaving him is helping
her regain her 10th grade mentality.

I still wouldn't mind hiting that TUNA QUEEN with a rancid cunt.....

I wish she'd start dating O.J.

The second to last pic looks like shes advertising a toothpaste or smethign.

Her face looks like that because Papa Simpson pulls on her ears when he's boning her in the exit hole, freezing her face in a ghastly smile-like grimace. Consequently, Ashlee's pillow has the impression of her open-mouthed face for pretty much the same reason.

The only position she needs to be in is on all fours, naked. Or maybe on her back with her knees behind her head. Or on her stomach, legs spread wide. Maybe bending over the edge of the bed, spreading her ass cheeks apart, begging for the cizock. I don't know, I guess they're all OK.

Has anyone ever stood in 3in heels before, and been that top heavy? It's the shoes that are making her stand like that.

The dress explains what happened to all those little lacy cloths my Grandma had around the house.

Wow... she's really pushing them boobies out, there. Were all impressed that you look like a mannequin.

55
Ha ha! My mom used to have those stupid little doilies all over the living room when she was going through her "country" stage--one on top of the sofa, one on top of the chair, one draped over each arm. And we as kids were always disturbing their precarious balance, and she'd always nag us to fix them. Then it'd get to the point where we'd purposefully put them askew, just to see her go over and straighten them. My dad joined the fun too, sometimes. Ahhh, good times. I'll tell you about the time we poisoned the tomato plant with soda some other time.

She didn't have a boob job, but that's a definite boob lift.

It's weird how she can stand up so straight when she has no spine.

#54... yes, I have.

#53

Now those were not a very lady-like things to say! ... However, I must thank you for the delicious pictures in my head... excuse while I go take care of myself...

if we look very close you can see the clear doll stand around her waist.... "I'm going with the I'm trying to hard... freak of human nature look". "I'm trying to make you remeber I'm that I'm hot... not talented."

if you study the subject more closely from head to toe....
WWWWRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
....those f-ing toes.... they look like fingers!!!!

Who is here stylist??? Fire the, Bitch!!! Who is letting you leave the house dressed like that... those shoes are wrong for that outfit on many levels as well as for your toes on a them make me barf level

#61 Don't do it! You still have so much to live for!

SHE LOOKS LIKE SHES WEARING A FUCKING DOILY!!

Posture like that will make your breasts grow big and strong, like two strapping young farm boys from Iowa, bred on sunshine, hard work and ma's apple butter.

when my friends and I were little, we used to make Ken go down on Barbie all the time.

Lucky bitch.

Osh, Almanzo and Royal...

I remember that lamebananas had this fantasy group "it" created, because it mistakenly believed people were obsessed with it. It called this club COOB – Club of Obsessors Over Bananas, or some other such ultra-retarded, delusional shit.

Now to me, the term coob sounds like it refers to something especially nasty, like a diseased vagina. To use it in a sentence: "That Paris Hilton has the nastiest smelling coob on the planet."

So, lamebananas, in my opinion, is a total coob. So are all of its aliases. Referring to it, or one of its aliases as HWMNBN is a pain in the ass for me, so from now on I'm just going to refer to it as coob.

67 - Mine are named Bobby Joe and Cleetus Jay, but to each her own I guess.

#63

No, no... they are delicious pictures, not bad ones...besides the deed is done and now I crave for a cigarette... since I have your attention dear Dr maybe you can help... while I was wrestling with my python and just before he coughed up the baby batter, I notices that he has gotten even thicker and longer... might there be a cogent medical explanation for this most welcome phenomenon?

@70: I am not a "trained" doctor, but I have played/played with one, and I think your condition is called "delusions of grandeur"

70 - Yes: You are a liar and a faggot. And probably British. Ouch.

67,n 69

Are those the names of imaginary friends? I call mine "Realistic Pulsing Vagina", "Chasey Lane Pussy and Ass" and "Mr. Grumpy, the Buttplug for Beginners"

#70 Nope, unless you've been taking Enzyte. But I heard that shit is actually just hair shaved off of Chinese mental patients.

Pythons coughing up baby batter sounds like something out of the Book of Revelations.

I also notice that Simpson habitually wears the same expression my dog makes when he takes a dump

Baby Shiloh Pitts debut on www.popsugar.com

She's not all that

I'd hit it so fast I'd get whiplash. Then again, I'd hit anything with a pulse and a skirt.. Well,a pulse at least... Aw, who am I kidding.

BigJim... you will not get your membership upgraded, but it's good try.

You're still Vice President of C.O.O.B.

Whose the president?

Happy 666 bitches!!!

Satan is coming over for tea and crumpets around 2 MST, if any of ya'll are in the neighborhood.

http://images.popsugar.com/uploads12/11ugrbo.jpg

photoshopped?

73 - I refer you to #69, and then I refer you to 69, if you know what I mean. Referrals are awesome.

P-nuts

George W. Bush you fucking idiot.

You!

Do you think we can appease Satan with a virgin sacrifice? The coob probably qualifies.

BigJim;

Technically one must have genitalia to qualify for virgin or non-virgin status.

@83 Thanks for the info you fat pussy!

#71- #72

Girl- girls... now is that anyway to talk... oshkoshb-goshdammgosh, last night just after being shank deep in pinky_nip's ass, you begged me to ram my python deep down your throat... which of course I did post haste!!!... you both cried out with so much joy at that moment... and now this kind of talk coming from you both... I most tell you it hurts... PLEASE lets be friends again... and tonight I'll bring you both beautiful flowers, and something extra special too... OXOXO...

87

Just trying to help out. Oh, you may want to pull your skirt down a little, your tampon string is showing.

@89 That's not a string. It's a gerbil's tail.

You guys... I'm kind of ashamed. This isn't me and I don't usually act like this with no class. I'll try to watch the uneducated banter from now on. Again, I'm sorry.

Tranny...why you so cranky, baby? Didn't you get the message that I had restraining order lifted?

88 - be sure to bring some ointment for that throbbing case of idiot you have there - post haste!! You couldn't get two sluts to uncross their legs if you were made out of Louis Vuitton handbags and cocaine. If you want me to send you a poster, just ask.

#74

Nope, no Chinese mental patients hair... Dr. ... serious, you consistently write some of the funniest shit on the SF... thanks for the many laughs... "Pythons coughing up baby batter sounds like something out of the Book of Revelations." I almost pissed my pants on that one... well, I guess you did have a little on that one... very very funny though...

oshkoshb-goshdammgosh... you need to take the same road I am in #91

You all are sick twisted unhuman people.

Hmm...PapaHotNuts posts and then papahotnuts posts. We have yet another poseur. WTF.

@95: You are a poser.

Osh, You wonderfully delicious slut. I could crawl into your cunt and nest there. (even without the cocaine)

The Real Papa;

Hey, man, since something just started impersonating you, I'm done. I will not feed it. More fun later

Zanna!!

I'm stoked about the restraining order being removed. I'm still going to be a bit cranky until our duct-tape-pubic-pillow-shower has been consumated. Consume and mate, that about describes it!

#98... honestly, answer my questions....

1.) Do you think that is an acceptable way to speak?

2.) Do you speak that way every day (off the internet)?

---Answer them in
1.)
2.)
form.

I like the pictures. They do it for me. I am a sick man.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

Hey everyone! I'm back from vacation!

Waht is Jessica doing? She needs to clean up from the break up and get back together. It's getting kind of weird.

Fake papa reminds me of NewGuy. Fake posts, fake weave, fake nails, fake orgasms. All fake.

#90 and #91: Are there two different Papahotnuts on this site?

I can't wait for my new pillow. It's going to be like the old days again with your pubic hair in my ear. Ohhh, good times..good times.

pappysmith123@yahoo.com ... you can look up anyone's e-mail address connecting to an account on typekey!!! That's papahotnuts.

@104- there is only one PapaHotNuts. The other one is an imposter. Just like @102 is a Feed Me imposter. What a fucking COOB.

She looks old for her age. Not Lindsay Lohan used up can I borrow a cigarette to burn off my scabs old, but sort of Hot Vegas Cocktail waitress older than her years kinda old.

I guess getting raped by your dad for half your life will do that to you.

98 - Well, I hope you're really small because my shit is tight like Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza. Tight like Cagney and Lacey. Tight like... oh, who am I kidding?

107... wow, you've got class class class!

What is a poser? Someone who rpetends to be someone they're not... right?

Who am I pretending to be? You need to chose your words more carefully. And try not the make them swear words... you low class freak, you.

Fake Feed_Me forgot_the_underscore
and your spelling and observances suck.
Just call me Mrs. CSI.

I love to win... like putting trash in their place and pointing out inconsistencies! It's fun to be better than 90% of the people on this site!!!

In case you didn't know... the first Feed Me changed screen names because the underscore was too much to type. Educate yourself on these posts before you banter, you idiot.

Just call me Mrs. Tingle... because I could teach you ALOT

oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

166. Posted by Feed Me Chocolate on June 3, 2006 04:07 PM

No, sorry to bust your bubble, Whipper, I didn't get banned. I can't imagine why I'd get banned in the first place. I'm just tired of having to underscore between my name.

And P.S.,

I know you're permanently emotionally scarred from your mom always telling you you were a "mistake", and so you've grown up with the idea that no parent plans when they want to have kids. So *pop*, sorry to bust your bubble, but YOU'RE the mistake around here, YOUR mom should've thought twice about being the town bicycle--you know, everyone's had a ride.

Hi Ari!

(FROM THE MATTHEY MCCONHEY BOARD--- CHECK IT YOURSELF RETARD)

just call me Einstein... because I can read... and apparently, you can't.

114 if you insist on caps locking a lot, learn how to spell it you fucking idiot.

It's hard trying to deal with children... no, children can be intelligent... it's hard dealing with idiots!

117 --- I misspelled a name, that can be spelled any way you want. It's a name no a word, it has no correct nor an incorrect spelling. Retard. Don't correct me if you can't take being wrong.

All you tricks need to stop hating. I've seen some of your websites and myspace accounts and most of you couldn't be a pimple on the ass of Jessica Simpson.

If you're wondering, yes I AM talking to you.

You go on sticking those boobies out all you want, Jess. ME LIKEYYYYYYYYYYY

@115

Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on June 4, 2006 09:42 AM

Tarjamarja (my favorite Finnish chick), ptprez, Sir Psycho Sexy, huhwah, M@ce, et al, I am changing my name since a certain person who shall remain nameless is using mine. If you care to know what it is, you can message me on my myspace page, (if you happen to have an account) the link for which you can find in one of my posts in the infamous Jake Gyllenhaal/ Natalie Portman thread. I won't say it here because that would defeat the purpose of getting him off my ass. And to answer tarjamarja's question, it is in fact very easy to switch your screen name, all is evidenced by him posting as 3 people. So this is Feed_Me, signing out.

__________________________

Get your facts straight, faker.

#93

Look osh, I'll bring you Louis Vuitton handbags & cocaine & diamond & gold & and new Mercedes... whatever you want!... just lets stop the meanness & cruelty... Daddy need a little kindness & affection from his baby...

PS... the "bring some ointment for that throbbing case of idiot" was really quite funny... OXOXO

Fake Feed Me is obviously lamebananas. How do I know? It's never been able to spell worth a shit.

@99 Your right. I only wish I could meet the fake papahotnuts. I would introduce it to reality in the form of a demonstrative ass-whippin'. Let me assure the SF posters one thing- I'm not sure of the exact time frame, but it's getting close. My website is currently being built, and I will not be using this TypeKey shit. It will be similar to this site in the sense there will be Entertainment topics and the ability to post back and forth as we do here. But it will also feature World News, Weather, Sports, Health, Business, etc. It will be like a CNN, only with foul fucking language and the humor from people like you. (Most of you, that is) I can't wait to read BigJim's thoughts on immigrants and Pinky's thoughts on low-carb diets, for example. We will have a great time, weekly fucking prizes, all kinds of cool shit.
I also will have control of banning anyone I choose, so no more lamebananawhipperArielsherry-co or anyone pretending to be anyone else.

http://www.papahotnuts.com

I think I see nip in the third picture in the top row....

am I wrong?

I'm so very fucking confused.

@124: God Bless You Papa! Bringing REAL entertainment to the masses. I will nominate you for a Nobel Piece Prize. (and yes, I intentionally spelled piece wrong!)

She has this weird neck thing, like it disappears and goes all Exorcist on you sometimes...she probably thinks her best and only asset is her chest, therefore she must sacrifice the rest of her body for it, even if she looks like a retarded Barbie doll...

The COOB must die!

I miss Ashlee. I want to train her. Then she won't be stuck being a fake poser like her sister.

Ashlee, did I tell you to talk? Put it back in your mouth. And don't use your hands.

I'm down papa - cover page looks sharp.

119 the word "a lot" is not a name. what the fuck are you talking about!! i hate people who write ALOT. like you.

She looks HOT in these pics.

@124 - I can't wait!

The badonkadonk is missing!!

#124, Papa,

I might not be able to see your website. I'm crossing over into Mexico then demanding that they all learn English and give me free medical care....

She was so much cuter 3 years ago.

@124

Your site sounds like a good spot to riff on all the news that's fit to print. I don't post a lot on this site (and am now glad that I don't because of the posers) but always get a kick out of your particular brand of humor (and pinky_nip, the Good Doctor, Big Jim and Italian Stallion). Keep up the good fight and good luck with the new site.

I would definitely hit it

All of a sudden I'm craving a chicago style sausage? hmmmm?

@135 Don't be a stranger on the new site.

@137 I live in Louisiana, so I have to do the same thing to the state of Mississippi.

Chicago style is the only way to go!

Papa, at least you are in Louisianna and not Mississippi. . .

Papa, are U in Nagin's Chocolate City?

@142: It's my kind of town. (actually I do absolutely love your town.. except for the Oprah-part)

#94 Thanks.

#124 Papa: Sounds cool. It'd certainly be a welcome replacement for when it turns into Awesome Time at the Superficial. I write political satire for a few different publications. Lemme know if you ever want free copy. I'll do it for food stamps, too.

dr.rokter@yahoo.com

@143 No, thank god. I'm in the capital, Baton Rouge. New Orleans was a great place to get drunk, get laid, then get arrested. Other than that, it was a shithole. I still go every now and then, but the smell of corpses and mold can fuck up a cocktail.

Dr. Rokter, I have to one-up you. I actually write for our legislative branch of the world famous Louisiana Government. So essentially, I write political satire also. Senators and representatives actually arm themselves in DC with shit I have written for them. No wonder this state is going to hell.

@144 Not a big Oprah fan either (is it me or is she slowly taking over the world?), but you have to take the good with the bad sometimes. At least I have my Chicago Cubs to cheer me up. . .

I think she may be wearing a waist cincher, and it's keeeping her torso stuck in an upright position. She must be stressed out over Nick and hittin' the Cheetos with a Britney-like ferver...so now she's got some gut to cinch away!

(also...totally a nip slip!)

#147 Hee, hee. That's fucking classic.

Papa, let me know if you need any free legal advice (well as much as I know anyway). Yes, a Chicago attorney (here comes the lawyer jokes).

#135 Well played!

PapaNutThack, I can't wait for your new site. You are a funny mofo.

I would also like to say there are lots of us readers who don't comment very often, but we all recognize that sack of shit coob when we see it. So you're not fooling anyone when you pretend to be other people. Your horrible grammar, punctuation and spelling--not to mention the sheer boredom you inflict--are dead giveaways. I found a site that I'd like to you take a look at, please and thank you. http://www.satanservice.org/coe/suicide/guide/

While I think Jessica is a dumb as a rock, I have to admit I'd trade places w/her looks-wise in a heartbeat.

In case anyone was wondering, I write political pornography for real estate agents and fecalphiliacs. Yeah, I'm cool like you guys.

Well I'm a fucking astronaut. Anyone want to go to the moon!

Sorry osh, wasn't trying to blow my own horn. . .

so we have lawyers, astronauts, writers, and strippers. what a motley assortment of characters

I'm glad to see the term "coob" is catching on.

Me, I've got an MBA and I'm married to a doctor. So, yes, I'm rich.

Jess does look like a Barbie doll. A life-sized, Barbie blow-up doll. Now all those pics of her with her mouth wide open make perfect sense.

Anyway, how fucking sweet! PapaHotNuts, I am anxiously awaiting your new site!

#151 - "As much as you know?" My dad's an attorney and he don't know nuthin' for free. He knows it all for hundreds of dollars an hour. If you don't know it all, are you the guy who gradutated last in his class? There HAS to be one.

Papa...how long till your website is up and running? you are quite the funny bastard, i look forward to checking it out.

Me, I'm a quant in a Wall Street firm with an MIT PhD....I am looking at my boss right now and I think he will make the perfect Shark sandwich

Yep, last in my class! Instead of studying them law books, I was at the bar doing shots of Jameson. But since I managed to pass the bar exam, I get to charge the same ridiculous legal fees as the obsessive-compulsive wired-too-tight kiss ass that graduated first. Mimimum effort = maximum gain.

Well here's my smug, self-important story: I dropped out of college, married a loser, and now have to work three jobs for near-minimum wage across the country from where I grew up and any friends I've ever had, but thank god I never got knocked up. I also have a PhD in Sexology and a MBA in Awesomability. Well, that's my story, so now you know. I'm sure your sense of relief will be followed shortly by a sense of desire and imminent horniness. Thus, the power of higher learning as mentioned above.

I failed horseback riding in college and got a D in yoga. That's what happens when you skip class everyday to take bong hits. The nickname for my school was "The College of Knowledge".

I answer phones all day. That's all I got.

(Smirk) Does Working on a legislative staff in the U.S. Senate Count? LOL

165 - You went to ITT Tech, too?

167 - Count for what? Misplaced arrogance?

Osh/Queen Bitch of Awesomability: I want to see a picture of you. I'm picturing pre-op Kathy Griffin. Is that mean? Just because you're both funny. I want to post pictures of you on my cube walls, and on my sun visor in my car, and on my ceiling, right above my bed.

I crunch numbers all day. It's hard physically labor.

Oh and then I get drunk at night and write dirty poems to my neighbors.

167 - Spindoc...

Do you know a DC lobbyist by the name of Jeff Kimball?

Why Zanna... did he run out on his bill last night?

Love you, you horny slut.

@171 You're a poet and I didn't know it?

Old ladies and cripples pay me for sex. I eat everything but the wheel-chair.

170 - I should beat you with a rubber hose. Not only are you wrong as in incorrect, but you are wrong on so many other levels I cannot even begin to count. That's like comparing a beautiful sunset on the beach to watching someone press the maggots out of a dead dog with their bare feet (incidentally, that's how Boone's wine coolers are made, in South France).

@171, U are describing my life....number crunching sucks cottonballs....no wonder I spend so much time on this site....

I'm a sales rep. I live in DC and sell educational media products to schools in Ohio. Yippee!

Pinky, you know what you do to me when you talk like that. Don't stop.

No, he didn't run out on a bill....just want to see if the world is as small as I think it might be. In which case, that'd be scary.

Oh and I also moonlight at a strip club. My job is handing cash to strippers, so they let me dry my eyes with their G-strings when I am done crying about my other job.

@170 are you trying to say that Osh was born in 1961? That will make her a perfect MILF

Tranny - if you are giving old ladies and cripples pubic pillows too I'm going to be BULLSHIT!!!!

@180 - stop telling everyone what we do at night, baby...it's OUR business. And give me that pink g-string back. I need it for tomorrow.

Ugh.

December 9, 1980. That's my birthday. I accept cash gifts.

Zanna are you guys hiring?

Zanna;

Hadn't we talked about this before? You know I only make pubic pillows for you, babe! And I swear I'm still visiting the nursing home, so I can make us enough cash to buy a Pinto, two 40's of Old English, and a trip to Talledaga. *sniffs* Got a G-string Handy?

183

I prefer the black one any way. My balls hang out the sides of the pink undies

185- yea, we're always hiring!

You know what i love about you Tranny..you take such good care of me. I can't wait for the day I kick back on my pubic pillow with my 40 of Old English and we talk about what we're gonna do once we get to Talledaga.

yea, yea, you like the black one better but I didn't see you complaining last night. Besides, they looked cute.

188- Someone fetch me a ticket to New England, I'm outta this shithole! Crawlin for dollars, here I come! Again!
Dammit.

Ohhh Tranny...look what I found:

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/talladeganights/

We can go to the drive-in in our Pinto and get our 40's. Doesn't it feel good to have goals together? It does. I know.

C'mon over Osh! We can be tag-team lapdancers together!

It seems Jessica has been wearing too many high heels. She is having a major case of lordosis.

http://adam.about.com/encyclopedia/9583.htm

I'm on my way! I'll just make me a sign that says Foxy Lady and stand out on the road with my thumb out and all my T-bars and pasties bundled up in a handkerchief on a stick, my head in the clouds and my eyes full of stars...

Zanna;

The reasons I love you are to numerous to count! ah, relaxing on the hood of the Pinto with the peculiar buzz that only Old E can give, watching Ferrell and racecars. I'm glad you like the way my nuts look, drifting out of the panties, I feel the same way when you dance upside down on the pole.

Osh, youll get a ride a lot faster if you show some t-bar, and wear the pasties.

You people are really sorry! (he says with a laughing banter of sympathy, but at the same time, mockery)

WOAH YOU GUYS... Do you realize the date today????

http://images.fandango.com//images/posters/large/omen_lg.jpg

Is Jessica Simpson's hand ALWAYS on her waist? It's annoying! In EVERY picture! Okay... WE GET IT... YOU THINK YOU'RE PRETTY! We dont! I'm really sick of her. Didn't pop go out a long time ago? What exactly does she do?

What can you say, she's a natural transvestite. Look at picture -05... Those legs... Reminds me of a sick party with trans-people.
"I wanna puke you up and down...
'Till you say Stop".

195 - I was going to wear the sign, duh. But either way, as long as I'm waving my big ass pussy all over the place it's all good. :)

Posture? We're making fun of POSTURE ON A SMOKING HOT CHICK, now? Looking the way she does in those pics ... she can fold herself into origama for all I care. She's got huge knockers, a hot face, great muscle tone and kicking curves.

What the hell's wrong with Superficial's editors? They wouldn't hit that?

Shee-it.

_Richard

And her feet are weird.

Osh

wow, if you can wave your pussy, regardless of size, you will go very far in your new profession. Consider teaching it to juggle or do the ping-pong ball trick and you've got a gold mine.

Anyone who thinks she is not hot is out their damn mind. the headline should read "has the best boobs ever" how can you not like this girl?

Think of it less as a new career and more like moving back in with an old college buddy. Besides, you can't show me a thing I haven't already done with a bottle of Cristal and a matchbook. My pussy is the McGuyver of genitals.

enords is really Joe Simpson. Pass it on.

Weird, weird people. Hey... guess I chased Feed Me Chocolate off... huh? Am I right... just couldn't take my superiority!!! (Well, pretty much anyone is compared to her!)

By the way, I'm not doing the fake names, I'm serious. Here's the story...

1.) I am not Iambananas
2.) I am personal (in real life) friends with Iambananas
3.) I didn't do the sloppy--copy-cats
4.) I don't dislike anyone here not that Feed Me Chocolate is gone!!

enords is really Joe Simpson? I KNEW IT!

205 osh;

Right on. If you don't groom for a few weeks, with a bit of white makeup, I bet your cooch can do a mean Gene Simmons impersonation.

Zanna;

I just had a great idea. We could buy a corn-dog stand, and follow the NASCAR circuit in our pinto. nascar and corn-dogs by day, Old English by night....ah, we could live the dream.

TrannyGranny...

Waht does that have to do with Jessica Simpson?

Dudes... it's almost 6:00 on 6/6/06! I'm going to post then!

@121

Zanna is the new Feed Me. I knew Id find out

But then again, who cares?

Zanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed Me

OMG!!! The first fake-titted blonde in the history of humankind! Unless they're in Outer Mongolia, most people can't swing a dead cat without hitting a chick that looks something like JS. Safe, boring, vanilla. And I know it's "politically incorrect", but I don't think mentally-retarded people are sexy. I'm sorry, I've got nothing against them (re-res), it'd just feel weird.

And by the way: if you *are* in Outer Mongolia, don't swing dead cats around. At anyone. I heard it's illegal there, and they mulch up offenders for Yak fodder.

What is (re-res)?

I'd hit it buuuuuuuuuuuut,

I find her comatose, empty, stare disturbing I'd feel like I was screwing with a mentally challenged person, NOT COOL.

So, I would hit her decapitated body 'til the cows come home.....or put a bag over her head , IF a bag was, you know, lying around or something.

Dr.Rokter

Interestingly, I never spent 5 years in Mongolia when I wasn't in the Peace Corp. One of the things I didn't pick up while not learning the language was the term "dedpkhatt" actually means "the left rear knee cap of a Bactrian Camel". I didn't find out that there isn't a name for the other 4 knee caps located on said camel. The non-existant team leader did not explain to me this was the "holy knee-cap" of an endangered camel. This probably wouldn't explain the yak-fodder penalty.

TrannyGranny

seriously?

#216 ree-rees? Ree rees? A term for mentally-challenged individuals, first applied to *me* when I was in the third grade. I'm going to stop using any insult that isn't in the King James version of the Bible.

Have you ever left your cell phone by the computer and weird noises come out of the speaker?

218-

OK, that made me laugh almost as much as yesterday's bullshit...

Dr.Rokter...

Aww, I'm sorry! I'm sure it wern't true about you... you're not a ree-ree. Neither now nor in the third grade.

seriously...

Have you ever left your cell phone by the computer and weird noises come out of the speaker? Like a "tick tick tick --- tick tick tick" But lower?

Sometimes it happens right before it rings.

#218 Everyone knows the Peace Corps is a front for a Marxist drug empire run by Ted Kennedy, bent on importing addictive marijuana cigarettes laced with homosexual mind-control chemicals in them to our white, suburban junior high schools.

I didn't know Bactrian camels were endangered. Sad. I like their gumption.

fucking sweet its 420 on 666 Smokem if ya gottem kids!!!!!

Ted Kennedy isn't a Marxist. He's a Democrat.

But, you know... po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

218

Shweet! Now I can say "holy kneecap" and not get slapped in the face by my mom!

It's not 4:20... it's 6:23... idiot. What does 4:20 have to do with anything anyway?

#230... she'll still slap you. But for other reasons.

Missed it by a minute (MST)

Dr.Rokter

Are you saying that Ted Kennedy prefers stoned homosexual junior high boys? Cause I am all about educating the masses with that tidbit.

Bactians really are endangered. I like that they have twice as much hump.

Special shout out to Tranny/Osh/Papa/Dr.Rokter and everyone else who chose to ignore the annoying comments from the more than one "you know who's." I don't post a lot but enjoy reading humorous banter that regularly appears on these posts. It's get's me thru my day. So thanks for not making your comments about the people who are overtaking this site and should just find a chat room for their useless bullshit. But I get it, we ignore them. Sorry for bringing it up but I just really wanted to send a BIG, HEARTFELT, THANK YOU!!!! Much love!!!

Ted Kennedy isn't a Marxist. He's a Democrat. But, you know... po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

234... I know you're taking about me, so doesnt that defeat your purpose? Idiot. I still win.

Its only 3:30 on my side of the country.... I still have an hour left of work!!

And willow, that used to happen in my last car, if I put my cell phone near my cd player. The speakers would go all funny when my phone was about to ring.

I should say continent, becuase i dont even live in the US

Yeah... what is that? Is it like the raido waves? I'm glad it happens to someone else, too.. waterranger

Its probably those same air waves that are going to give us all brain tumors from talking on cells!

Meh, that's a rumor! I don't think it's harmful... said my cousins extra mouth.

its probably the same air waves that are going to give us all brain tumors from talking on our cells!

oops

Meh, that's a rumor! I don't think it's harmful... said my cousins extra mouth.

#233 Yes. Because he lives on a "compound", which means he's a freak. And he's Catholic, which means he's an agent of the Pope (Satan) and his sinister plot to fool Americans into denying the Risen Christ and family values. I read it in "Alien-abducted Minuteman Weekly".

So Tranny, have you ever eaten camel? I hear those Bactians are pretty tasty, that's why they're calling them endangered, to keep them all to themselves. Those damn sneaky Mongoloids.

Hmm, I wonder if that Dehli sands fly is tasty. Must taste test.

#234 You're welcome. It's because Jessican Simpson retards my fight-or-flight instinct and lulls me into a state of semi-consciousness. Either that, or because I get to go drink heavily now and resolve my anger at bitter, bitter life that way. Adieu.

I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world

*a la Johnny Dangerously*

I'm bored with slappin' Jessica around. Bores me.

If she were actively seeking her own professional annihilation (see Spears, Britney; Lohan, Lindsay; Hilton, Paris [well, maybe not, as she doesn't actually DO anything but self-destruct]; Richards, Denise, etc.) it would be easier to beat on her, but she's just dumb and along for the ride. *sigh* I didn't mind her when she was just a small name singer on the fringe of fame. She should have stayed there.

Her hair looks very, very nice. Very ladylike and elegant. Brown-eyed blondes are always so pretty.

But that dress is really slutty and the shoes don't "go".

Tranny: gee, what are the odds that a Grizzly Adams-type guy from Colorado would be atuned to the occurrence of 4:20?

1 in 1, or better? :)

# 246 - I HAVE eaten camel. I had it at an international food fair in guangzhou, china. They bbq 10 pieces of it for, like 2 yuans. It was so spicy and good. yummm

I know that Tranny at least has eaten camel TOE.

253
Wow, you're brave. I'm not very adventurous in eating out-of-the-ordinary meat. Plus, we don't have too many international food faires where I live.

I draw the line at tripas.

oh the camel was nothing, 2 of my friends ate SCORPIAN!!! I have the pictures.

in the top row.. second pic from the left..

look at her knees.. one is higher than the other

wtf is that about?

There's no excuse to eat scorpion unless you're a circus performer. And in that case, dance, freakshow, dance!

one of her legs is bent, thats all

257
Her right knee is slightly bent, and the let one is locked. It's the perspective that makes it look like that.

oh, live a little, jane's eyre :P

*left*

#201 - i'm with you - i don't see what the problem is! She looks great!

Shit if she's ugly what the f**k is pretty?!!

Damn you, waterranger, I'm the freakin' know-it-all here!

oops, didnt mean to steal your thunder!!

#201 - i'm with you - i don't see what the problem is! She looks great!

Shit if she's ugly what the f**k is pretty?!!

I don't know about all this! I was bored with this post the minute I first posted.

Fa Cube... I literally mean grow up mentally. I really mean it. It's not just a cliche... I mean it. You relly need to mature.

LilRach... a classic beauty... like Julia Roberts, Renee Zellwigger, etc. People with class and brains.

258: Don't forget the Thai Scorpion Girls. That's a bizarre thing to see....

Fa Cube... I literally mean grow up mentally. I really mean it. It's not just a cliche... I mean it. You relly need to mature.

Did you see your last post? Do you lspeak like that normally? Idiot.

CAN WE GET MORE THAN 3 POSTS A DAY?? AND CAN AT LEAST ONE NOT BE THE SAME OLD BORING STUPID CRAP?

268: Gee, so I can be like you someday? Pass. I prefer things like sunlight, social interaction, not having dead transients stashed in my basement. But then again, that's just me, I'm childish like that.

So you think I get no sunlight and no social interaction and have something in my basement?

Well, I get a lot of sunlight, in fact, I'm beginning a wonderful healthy tan.

I get a LOT of social interaction.

And I have no basement.

SO, now that everything you've said has been disproved and everything I said still holds true, you've made yourself out to be quite the immature idiot.

273-
I was SO waiting for that...hehe.

Waiting for a juvenile comment to be disproved? You must be as big as idiot as he.

In this instance, I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you.

So, all you have is "I know you are but what am I", Ari. Ohhh, good one... check and mate.

Whipper: You know, this *might* be interesting if you didn't say the same exact thing to practically everyone here. Inane, boring, and repetitive is no way to go through life, son.

But then again, life really isn't for everyone.

Here are some more for you Ari, in case you run out of mindless simpleton remarks toward me:

-I know you are but what I am

-Oh yeah

-Consider the source

and my favorite---

-Sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Fa Cube...

If you didn't act like the same re re's than I wouldn't have to. Come up with something fresh to insult me with and I'll remark.

All you can do is make something generic up that has nothing to do with me and makes you look like a fool.

274: Actually, it hasn't disproven, it's merely been denied by you. Whilst I'm sure that in your own mind that accounts for quite a bit, it is, in and of itself, nothing. Proof requires a bit more than merely gainsaying something. But thanks for trying. It's cute when you get all indignant like that. *pats williow on the head*

Fa cube...

You make it six...

http://speed.pointroll.com/PointRoll/Media/banners/trans.gif

Gee Fa, when I went to school it was innocent until proven guilty. It seams the burdon of proof is on you.

And if you seem to think all these things you make up in your head are true, you're stupider than I thought. Here I thought you were just trying to be cute *Pats Fa on the head, then washes hands*... but you're really deranged.

282: If you say so. This is the same tired argument you continually trot out to anyone who bothers to speak at you. Yes, "at," not "with," as you seem truly inable to carry on a conversation of any sort.

No doubt your next canned riposte will leave me emotionally scarred for life, weeping, gnashing my teeth, and rending my garments at the utter futility of daring match wits with you, but oh well. I shall soldier on.

Yeah, Id reply to that, but I skimmed over it because it was so boring. Blah blah blah.

Whipper: Well, it seems when I went to school, the burden was on the teachers to give proper instruction on spelling.

Plus, given that The 'Fish isn't a court of law, your contention regarding the burden of proof is of little merit. But hey, thanks for trying.

Gosh, you can copy my actions. Truly sir, yours is a most dazzling intellect.

You call what I say canned? Wonder where you got that.... oh, yeah, it's coming back to me...

282. Posted by Whipper_willow on June 6, 2006 07:55 PM

All you can do is make something generic up that has nothing to do with me

All you can do are cliches and coping me?

Well, "The 'Fish" isn't a school, either... so you just disproved your own argument... idiot.

Whipper: still waiting for you to post something new that you haven't trotted out before against one of the regulars. But then again, I'm also waiting for the Parousia.

But then again, everything you say can be easily disproved. You're just not the type to come up with something intelligent unless it's been hand delivered to say or already types two seconds ago.

#127
just for symmetry ?

do let me know
how that goes for you :)

lol b... well you know the rest :)

#131

...and as you well know

its alotalot

In my opinion, she looks like Eva Mendes in those pictures.

#157
so if only someone
could mine
the experience
of you
fucktards
they would
know ... ?

wtf it all went dark ?

I agree, I don't see anything wrong with these pictures. But anything making fun of rich pretty people is fine by me.

ok, so we're screwed
it's still 666 somewhere in the world :)

where is that terminator?

oh hello. there yo are :)

293: Right. Gosh, but I feel so privileged to bask in your imagined glory, Chaucerian spellings and all. Perhaps you'd have a smidge more credibility if you were semiliterate. Love the pseudo-intellectual thing you've got going though. Very exciting.

Honest to Xenu, these threads are so fucking annoying with Whipper having 10-post-coversations with itself... How I long for the old days, sarcastic, cum-covered, expletive-filled good times....

The 50's look does kind of suit her - best she's looked in a while. I guess she got tired of Ashlee being called the pretty one of late.

252 Fa

Er....well.....shit, I got nuthin'.

But, I think "riposte" is an incredibly underused word, thank you for bringing it up. Do you, perchance, have any Cold Steel?

Jane's eyre

Camel toes are delicious! And, for real, this isn't any Tranny-raving, if you take a small scorpion, fry it (butter works) and eat it whole, it will ease your arthritus pain. Same thing with getting stung by a bee. Unless you're allergic, in which case you die. Asians been doing it for centuries. Also didn't learn that when I wasn't in Mongolia.

A million Whippers with a million computers working for a million years, still couldn't come up with a comment worth a shit..

Kris! Kris! Kris! *takes one hand off keyboard* kris...kri..kr...

An Open Letter to Whipper/Bananas,

Please go away! Yes, I'm sure that my post will cause you to label me either immature or an idiot, or both. But, that doesn't matter to me, because I come here to allow that part of me to surface. Many people used to post here in a witty, sarcastic, and yes, often profane manner on these highly-deserving celebs. I used to enjoy coming to this page, posting and reading what everyone else had to say. This used to be a place where people could let their freak flags fly, so to speak.

Then you came. Your comments are neither witty, sarcastic, nor appropriate; and your constant and increasing attempts at using aliases (how pathetic...if you have something to say, say it and own up to it!!!) to lecture other posters on both their syntax (ironic considering your poor typing/grammar skills) and their lives (areas where they live, etc...)and to subsequently base judgements about your superiority to them in terms of both their intellect and their position in the human race are not only obnoxious, but they are extremely hypocritical and, therefore, way off base.

I feel that I speak for most of the people here when I plead with you to go away. Please give us just this one website back, and try to remember a time when you were unaware of this message board; and kindly remember how superior to all of humanity you felt then too.

We all realize that we are depraved and ugly human beings both inside and out, but your constant reminders are unwelcome and not at all necessary.

And, one more thing...

wait for it

(gotta mimick your highly obnoxious, 13 year old style a little here...)

you are a fucking douche-bag, faggot, asshole, cunt, shit for brains, cock-breath, cum-yodelling, dirty-sanchez-giving, donut-punching mother-fucker, and I HOPE YOU DIE!!!

Oh, Tranny, Fa, and Kris all here. Too bad nitwit will crash the party any minute.

ALL TOGETHER NOW............. WE MUST WE MUST WE MUST INCREASE OR BUST !!!

Hear, hear Krisdylee! :)

Red Sonja;

What the fuck was the name of that awesome techno chick, I can picture the sexy naked devils on the cover, but I am drawing a blank on the band name...some dill hole stole that cd like 8 years ago.

Lords of Acid

Tranny: Yup. Collection of knives left over from the mil days, plus a batte-ready viking long sword. My neighbor is trying to get me into fencing (she does saber), but I don't think I've got the reflexes for it anymore.

*shiver*

Goddddddddddd I love men with weaponry....

Oh fuck, Satan, I thought we were cool. I beat you fair and square with that flush, and look what you fucking did. You fucktard bitch.....Whipper, thanks, that was driving me crazy. Now, please go insert a blender up your colon.

Fa; Best steel known to man, I have one of the original run kukri's, I was drunk one night, years ago, and demonstrated its durability by splitting a few rocks. The blade has a nick, and not a big one. It's what I take backpacking/hunting instead of an axe.

I've got a battle ready longsword also...in my trousers. It's not cold, but it is steel. Hard, hard steel, suitable for thrusting and vigorous stabbing.

And Iambananas is, sorry, has the sheath. Nice how that worked out for ya.

Rough Sex is also a good LOA song. Haven't listened to them in a long while...

Obviously, the real Whipper would have no clue about the Lords of Acid.

Tanny: Kukris are solid blades. Atlanta Cutlery sells some that are 100+ years old.

That's funny... you post under my name but everyone knows it's not me because I wouldn't ridicule myself. BUT if you were to post under my style, trying to put some class in this posting place, then it would only help me.

For the last time, It's not me who is doing the fakers. I have one name, and one name only. It is my only name and I like it. It is intelligent... unlike a lot on nonsenseical names here.

and I think it's hilarious that you say I have spelling errors, yet never point any of them out! What are, prey tell, these mystery errors?

317 Ya know, that was just starting to sink in, the writing style (succinct) wasn't the same, and LOA run of fame was over when dill hole was born. Nice job....Sorry Satan, nice burn!

Ari;

If hearing the words "collection of knives" does that to you, you will be non-stop power-cumming if you even get within 5 miles of my cabin. I think entering would cause an orgasmic death.

What's up whipper! Hey, I've got some great news... you have to call me... not now though... someones here (you know)... and this is the only way I can get a message to you... call me around 10 tomorrow morning. I kind of have to go now... see you in chem tomarrow.

Okay... later.

WAit, are you still there? Who's there? Is it who I think it is?

Fa;

I have incredible respect for the Gurkhas. When Asia fell during wwII, I think it is commendable that ALL the captured Gurkhas were put to death by the Japs, unlike the Sikhs, who merely became the prison guards of their former employers, the Brits. A-Cut have a website? Haven't heard of that bunch.

Shoot... gone... call me tomarrow, I get free incoming calls b4 noon.

u got it boyfriend, um Whipper_willow.

Yeah, i'll call you you stupid twat. Do they still accept collect calls at the asylum? You are BANANAS after all!

i'm gay.

I just came home & I gotta run....but - I've seen better lookin' legs on a piano!
There -- I said it -- and judging by the one sitting in the living room...I'd say this one wins!!
And it's not even ORANGE!!

320- Yeah, a man who can handle weapons, for whatever reason, just does it for me.

Orgasmic death? Well... everybody has to go sometime...

Nana... you're back... Do you have my NEW cell phone, or should I IM it to you?

Whipper:

"Gee Fa, when I went to school it was innocent until proven guilty. It seams the burdon of proof is on you."

Burdon was the lead singer of The Animals. The word you were looking for is burden.

Seams are what you find in pantlegs. The word you were looking for is seems. That would be two, just for starters.

i'm gayer.

i'm gayest.

Okay, really funny... considering I wasn't the faker, you're really being an idiot. I even posted at the EXACT same time that one of the faker(s) did.

COOB LTC

Tranny:

Yup.

http://www.atlantacutlery.com/webstore/eCat/Swords%20and%20knives/Knives%20Of%20The%20World%20/Eastern.aspx

And Tranny, the reasons I love YOU is because you realize that the little things in life are important....I will quit my stripper job as soon as Osh gets here to be my replacement. (Osh, I've been working on a new routine that goes to Bob Segar's "Come to Papa" - I'll show you)..And then we'll be together, Tranny..you and me.. surrounded by the heady scent of burned rubber, gasoline and corndogs. We'll laugh together when we tell children not to get too close to the Pinto..while we give each other that "knowing" look. We'll fall even further in love when we pick all the right pubes for the pillow and then talk about the best way to clean our fine washables.

Oh yea, and Tranny has eaten camel. CAMEL TOE. Love ya babe!!!!!

So, you found a homonym error... not a spelling error. I am still waiting.

Whipper_willow LTC

Damn, it IS annoying, isn't?

332- I can make the rest of your work day go a LOT faster. ;)

Trust me.

IM me Nana JizzJunky@worthlesstwat.com!!

Fa Cube... official member of C.O.O.B. (I've just been officially named a person who can name members.. and were' thinking of re-naming the club to C.O.O.W.B (Club of obsessives over whipper and bananas), but it would cost too much to re-paint the planes.

BigJims_Towel... a NEW member of C.O.O.B.

Nothing sadder than a confused fag with Multiple Personality Disorder. I want to catch! No, i want to catch!

Whipper please. Yet another spelling error would be Stupider. Stupider isn't even a word! More stupid would be the correct usage of the word.
homonym errors are still spelling errors because they are the Wrong spelling of the word.
So, you are no longer waiting.

rrriiiggghhhttt... I can play... if I were to make up fake names it would be A LOT more interesting.

but i thought you *liked* to catch for me, Whipper?

Whipper, email me at Whipper_willow.ismy.bitch@prisonsex.com

Ha! I posted this on the Christina thread below:

It looks like Christina and Parasite Hilton learned their posture from the same coach.

"C,mon now! Hands on hips, elbows splayed waaayy back, head turned, mouth open and - most important - hips, cooch and tits thrust waaayy forward! That's the ticket! Sexay!"

Looks like Jessica's also a client...Shoot the bastard!

god i'm hot for your banana, baby.

Whipper, you are going to make someone a fine gimp some day; after they cut out your fucking tongue first of course.

COOWB LTC

mmmmm, tongue fucking.

Fa;

Got it, I'll check it out on the manana.

Zanna;

I never thought I would meet a woman who understands the delicate concept of pube-gardening. We will eventually have an entire Turkish style Divan, full of homeade pillows, that we will tow with our Pinto, behind the corn dog stand as we reap the rewards of our Nascar life. I'm off to bang an 98 year old parapalegic with one arm and a speech impediment, Right Now, so I can have the Grey Hound bus fare waiting to bring us to eternal bliss. Love will bring us together, corn dogs, nascar and fumes will assure we stay together.

XOXO

343: That kinda blows your whole "I am not Iambananas" line if bafflegab, nicht wahr? Bananas and I haven't been talking. Just you and me, sweetpea. Such a cute simple-minded antelope.

As per your spelling: Burdon is a spelling error as it is not a word. And using "seam" in place of "seem" is also a spelling error. While some homonyms have identical spellings "bank" and "bank," for example, "seem" and "seam" don't. Wouldn't make it too far in Scripps-Howard, I'm afraid. But it's okay, I'll forgive you because you're so cute.

And for the record Willow, that thing you call Iambananas and have 'conversations' with, is not a real person, it's an old piece of fruit that you keep rammed in your ass for company.

I am fairly sure that if it was an actual person it wouldn't like you either.

Good night dear Tranny...I will fall asleep tonight with a smile on my face looking forward to our future together.

And one more thing..when you are banging that 98 year old you BETTER be thinking about me!

Until tomorrow, you sexy motherfucker!

@357-

Christ can you imagine the fruit flies?

Men do indeed like boobs. Even I like her boobs. Jessica is hot.

Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me Zanna is Feed Me

Zanna: Don't you mean gerbils?

Jess, stop taking the viagra.

So, here's the thing, Fa Cube... if you could only comprehend what you read.

Iambananas and MYSELF are the only people who can appoint people to the C.O.O.B. I have been named an official declarer. So watch out, because I will declare any obsessives. Maybe I should start a list, nana never did, but I think I will. All it takes is a little cut and paste!

That rhymed! I'm witty, aren't I! You wish you could be like me, but no one can impersonate this genius.

Iambananas and I are classmates at a Alexander Hamilton Senior High. Don't come and stalk us. (ehh, I'm wondering if I should post that... I'm kind of weary.) Okay, you people never go outside anyway, so I think I'm safe. School is well guarded and there's like hundreds of people there, so you would't know either of us. Don't be mad, nana.

I'm going to pretend to be a qualified profiler, just like Whipper bananas pretends to have a visible cock.

Whipper is effeminate, immature and seeks attention at any cost. He doesn't curse, and seems to be genuinely offended when others do so.

He's probably a repressed homosexual, too ashamed to act on his urges, which he views as disturbing, preferring instead to hide his true nature. He is effectively asexual.

He is poorly educated and underemployed, yet believes he is greater than others perceive him to be. He feels that society has treated him unfairly, and he is angry.

He is socially awkward, painfully so, and has few friends. He lives in his head.

Sound familiar Whipper?

awww they're still in high school. How sweet. Now that explains the raging egotistical ways.
Like, thats so neat. Like really.
Like meet you at your locker.

Wait, they probably don't know what city, anyway, so were cool. I cringed the second that I submitted that, I even got a little scared with all the threats we've been receiving lately, but it's alright.

365... if you're a male, you're name suggests the same about you.

If you're female, it suggests promiscuity... pick one.

365... curiosity question... what is your education?

I'm just wondering, since it obviously didn't teach you how to act in a society, mustn't have been a good one.

Whipper: still doesn't get you around the minor problem of me not talking to bananas and talking to you. If talking to you means that I am obsessing over bananas, Q.E.D., you are one and the same. I know it's a little difficult to get your mind - such as it is - around that little conundrum, but don't worry, ten years from now when you finally get that GED it will all make sense. And happy times those will be, as there will be much rejoicing in the land.

No answer to 368 OR 269... I thought so... ha ha. I win, once again.

Did I touch a nerve, Whipper?

Okay, Fa Cube, I am past the education level of GED as I have officially graduated High School, just now taking college prep courses. So, once again, your generic insults make no sense whatsoever and are disproved. That must bum you out, a lot.

372... No answer to 368 OR 369... I thought so...

And, no, you did not touch a nerve, so un-plume your feathers. You're insults could be directed toward anyone, and you know nothing about me, so, don't worry, I'm not about to shed a tear for a freak like you.

I don't think that Fa's insults were "generic." In fact, they were quite specific. In so many words, he called you a cretin.

365...

if you're a male, you're name suggests the same about you.

If you're female, it suggests promiscuity... pick one.

curiosity question... what is your education?

I'm just wondering, since it obviously didn't teach you how to act in a society, mustn't have been a good one.

#368, 369. I don't discuss my personal life with strangers over the internet. I am neither gullible, nor stupid.

#374. ... though so ;/

Then don't presume to know about mine.

Awww, fuck. This coob infestation has gotten fucking ridiculous.

I think I'm going to take a sabbatical from the SF for a while and hope it goes away.

I wonder if Valtrex would kill it. Or maybe napalm.

373: Congratulations! Are you going with Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey, or Cirque du Soleil?

And once again, nothing is disproved, it is merely contested. But, if you should be willing to post your academic transcript, I'll happily review it.

Yup, you got me on the whole "bummed out" thing. I'm *almost* as distraught over your post as I am over the fact that the bug that was crawling on my window just flew away. Almost. Couple years of intense therapy and some heavy doses of lithium and I'll be right as rain, though.

unfortunately BigJim I have been waiting and waiting hoping that it goes away. Alas it still lurks.

I think SF is doomed as we know it. SF will no longer be the witty and comical SF as we all once knew it to be.

I think we are stuck.

One last thing:

TCLTC can stand for both Tom Cruise and The Coob.

TCLT<====3

Jim: That's its only joy in life, driving others away. Besides, it's only the internet's own little trained flea.

You write too fucking much. Even though most of what you write is completely fabricated, there is enough tone and substance in your posts to draw a few conclusions.

I don't even read most of your shit, and I still nailed you, assclown.

ur right, i am gay, and lonely.

Wow, you're classy language sure puts me in my place. That education of yours that taught you how to communicate intelligently and act like a person of substance sure paid off.

Oh, wait, how about no.

i haven't been on for awhile and i have two questions: who the hell is whipper willow, and what the hell is a coob? and why does mention of them annoy me so much? ....and by the way nobody really cares enough about you to go looking for you at your school. those of us with actual lives have things like work and family to deal with. and by virtue of the fact that you posted where you go to high school, you aren't scared people will come looking for you, you're hoping they will. get a fucking hobby and stopp annoying people.

*fargin' icehole*

Don't you ever get tired of typing the same thing over and over?

And it's *your* NOT you're. I could understand typos or the occasional misplaced comma-that happens-but 'your' is posessive, 'you're' is a contraction of YOU and ARE.

Really not that difficult.

Yup, he's just hoping some Boy-butcher will come down from WeHo and give him a little of the ol' rough trade.

#386. "genuinely offended ..."

You are manipulated as easily as a small child.

Does the repressed homosexuality thing keep you from relaxing, or letting your guard down?

looks like someone is hoping to be promoted in the fall....to the 8th grade....

back to the whole jessica simpson thing...she kinda looks like a Q-tip with the whole sixties hair and white dress.

Not a bad looking Q-tip, though. Especially compared to the looks she's been sporting lately.

@394

yeah, but not as good as she used to look...but infinatley better looking then the whole Marilyn Monroe's been into the cheetos look she was trying before.

Tom Cruz luvs the cock, and so do I.

that's her issue...she hasn't been sporting 'looks' at her at all lately because everyone has been paying attention to her pesky baby sister.
Anyone hear that crap the other day about how she was spotted w/her papa Joe at a medical building where a particular plastic surgeon is located and he's been blowing smoke about how Jessica has an ulcer and was seeking medical treatment?
There's nothing left on her that ain't plastic - nuthin' and she gives me an ulcer just looking at her.

Yeah, she was definitely at her prettiest when she was unenhanced. When she first started to go mainstream pop, she was quite the cutie. Unfortunately, dad steered her into that whole "pop-whore" thing, and it's been all downhill since.

Ashlee has now taken the 'Jennifer Gray' route...I'm not down with that. I don't understand how you could look in the mirror and not know who is looking back at you.....and come to think of it - throw Shitney in there, too!

*Grey* - dammit!

i hope ashlee has taken the jennifer grey route, ie: got a nose job and is now going to fade into obscurity. soon there will be a blissful time when "pieces of me" is just one of those annyingly catchy songs that you occasionaly hear on the radio, and when your kids ask you who sung it, you turn to your spouse and say "I THINK it was the little sister of some pop star....Aileen Smith was it? No...but anyways I think she died awhile back."

one hit wonder fodder for VH1

401 - from Canada or UK?

Hi people -- Is whipperbananafucktardasswipe still playing his stupid games?

@319- Here's a spelling error for you, you stupid shit: It's PRAY, not PREY. Goddamn idiot.

You and lame ass are so goddamn pathetic. You are DESPERATE for attention and validation, to the point of fucking up things that others enjoy so you can get noticed. I guess your momma never breast-fed you or something, but that is not our problem. You need to take your fucked up shit to a psychiatrist and stop bothering people who don't give a fuck about you, wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, and would most likely shoot you in the face if they ever came across you. It's almost sad how Lameass is so hopefully posting comments and replies to other people's posts, just praying that someone, ANYONE, will give it some validation or attention. I guess it's stupid fucking ass never learned the difference between GOOD and BAD attention, unlike the rest of us, who learned it when we were 3. I have said it before, and I will say it again: PLEASE GO KILL YOURSELF, YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF MULE SHIT. EVERYONE ON EARTH (and probably in the universe as well) HATES YOUR FUCKING GUTS AND PRAYS DAILY FOR YOUR DEATH. NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BASIC FACT???? I can think of a million things you should be doing other than bothering us....like drinking some poison, falling asleep in the garage with your car running and the door closed, hanging yourself with your transvestite "mother"'s garter belt, slitting your wrists (vertically, NOT horizontally, we DON'T want you to survive), or simply putting a loaded gun to your head and pulling the trigger. Believe me, NOBODY will miss you, in fact, if you do it, I will host a kick-ass party at my house here in VA for all the Superfish posters, so we can celebrate the joyous occasion together. I will continue to let ou know just how much you are hated here until you finally do kill yourself and leave us in peace. I certainly hope everyone who hates you as much as I do will not hesitate to let you know their feelings on this matter so we can speed up the process. In closing, you suck, and go kill yourself NOW. Thanks, and have a NICE day....fucktard.

Sorry to the rest of you, I just feel compelled to let this tard know how much I hate him so he will finally end his delusions of being liked on this site, and go kill himself, hopefully painfully and slowly.

Such a desperate cry for attention

any man on this site who doesn't acknowledge an urgent and immediate need to touch her after looking at these photos is either a liar or a liar.

Jeezus christ DEREK SWANSON: can you possibly get any sadder or pathetic?? I just scanned some of the above posts you and your other personality were writing to each other... really fuckin sad.
What is it with you? You claim you only want to be able to post like everyone else and to be left alone, yet when people do... you can't handle being ignored!!! Grow the fuck up!!
You talk alot about "class", being raised "right", blah,blah,blah -- but at least we don't have to talk to ourselves, steal other people's identities or tear other people apart if they don't respond.
Oh yeah, that great upbringing of yours has done wonders for you! Get a fuckin shrink and some medication quick, you smug asswipe!

what the fuck is going on? I'm new to this site...can someone please tell me why the fuck iambananas/whipper willow feel the need to be so fucking annoying? This is the first thread I read and even I want to go through the computer screen and smash their faces, or should I say, face since it is pretty clear it is the same person.

He is totally ruining this site for everyone.

Not that I would be missed in any kind of way, but I think I'm just going to skip the "comments" section for awhile.
You'd think IT could take a hint by now...

Well come ON, you guys, please just ignore it. We all know that it CRAVES the attention that you're giving it, we all have guesses as to why, now please let's get on with our posts, and IGNORE IT. If you do not answer it, it will lather itself into a frantic frenzy, give one last spittle-laced gasp, implode, and DIE DIE DIEEEEEEEEE.

At least, that's what would happen if this were a perfect world.

But we can still do OUR part and NOT POST. It's not like you can move in any direction with it except for in circles.

"Yes, hello, my name is jane's eyre, and I have been Whipper-free for 4 days."

Join W-Anon. Be Free.

This site has completely gone to Hell. It was nice while it lasted.

Star: give it time, it will revert to back to form. :)

Everyone please stop feeding the troll!!!! Let it be ignored and it will go away.

It actually seems to be losing steam. Since the first instance on.. Saturday (?), it can't keep up the charade. Fizzling out, I hope.

I will be going around with a ruler to soundly rap the knuckles of anyone who misbehaves. You may all call me Sister Mary Kick Your Ass. And I am one mean school marm.

Corporal punishment is in. Responding to the troll is OUT.

Hi Ari.

It's time to use "contagious" in a sentence again.

Since the COOBEAST keeps being fed, its going to take this CUNT AGES (coowb)to fuck off and die.

Two things:

Fa, ala JD, don't you hate these forking iceholes?

WTF is a Whipper Willow? Is that supposed to be a tree? I've heard of Pussy Willow and Dark Dick Willow, but never a Whipper Willow.

Go figger...

I HEART YOU, FA... Will you be my Grammar General? I'll give you a sexy uniform to wear... or not...

Licky: I'ma gonna nail dere dworks to da wall! I'ma gonna put dere bells in sling! I'ma gonna cutta offa dere arms, and jamma dem uppa dey iceholes! Dose fargin' basteges!

Ooh...a general, huh? Very well, I accept this position and promise to do my duty to God and uh, Strunk & White's Elements of Style.

BASTAGES! LOL...

Priceless, I tell ya.

*sad face* I lost all my books in Katrina. I only took two cookbooks, because I was looking for a recipe, and HP5. I finished 4 the night before. Ever read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves"? Classic.

Damn, sorry to hear that. That well and truly sucks. Never read all of "Eats..." but I hope to. The bit I read was quite good. Richard Lederer's "Anguished English" books are good, too.

My sis in law had a book, "Woe is I", which I started reading years ago. I want to find that one, along with some others. Well, a lot of others. GRRR.
Reading "House of the Spirits" right now. Very good read; I do recommend it.

I wonder if he meant to name himself Whipporwill, which is a bird. Love the delusions of grandeur. Especially from a high-school kid, who, by the way, must have bypassed English4 on the way to his college prep courses.

What a dick.

I'll have to look into those. :)

Looks like she was on her way to pinch a dirtsnake and got asked to pose for a photo.

424
I read "Eats Shoots and Leaves". I loved it.
Have you read her new book? I've heard it's better.

I read this book called "Blood and Oil" by Klare. Check it out!

Also, why the hell are we talking about books now?

Hey Licky, if you like the Harry Potter books you should try one called "Cry of the Icemark" by Stuart Hill. I reluctantly picked it up after a friend told me I HAD to read it, and immedieately couldn't put it down. The female heroine is also a really great role model for young girls. I work in a book store and I've recommended this book countless times. Mr Hill should really be paying me.

Also, I read "Talk to the Hand" and found it just as good as "Eats, Shoots"

I can't believe the eagle eyed fookers on this site didn't catch that Jessie's pie-plate size NIPPLE is showing in this pic!

http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/images/2006/06/jessica-simpson-cdfa-fashion-06.jpg

Note the breastess on her right, and you'll see the aereola.

As for her fugly dress that Grandma Moses made - he's named Michael Kors, and something fucked up in going on with line last few years. It was a great line a few years ago then he went all Doilies are Fun and began sewing flesh colored lining into his dresses and they just simply look like shit made by 7th graders in a Home Ec class.

Okay and her tan from a can looks like some wacky beef au jus gravy exploded all over her body.

And...oh fuck it. I don't give a tit about her at all.

I'm far more concerned with the $4.1 Mil paid by People Mag Rag for the 1st photos of Brangelina's womb booger. Are they fucking insane?

#433

There is a weeping willow, maybe whipper willow is another sign that he can't spell.

Seriously, folks, there needs to be a big sign that says "DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS"

I don't post often but I enjoy the funny comments from the regulars and I hope people could seriously just IGNORE the trolls. That is the only way they will go away, when nobody responds to them at all. Ever.

Thanks for the good comments from the regular posters that make this site entertaining.

I can't believe Im about to defend this bimbo, buuut...

I don't really see anything wrong with her posture. I just think our society has forgotten how to stand up straight lol.

She actually has quite nice posture. but agreed, she needs to tuck the boobs away. Way to much cleavage.

"Way to much cleavage." Those are words in the English language that should never be put together. First, and most important, there is NO SUCH THING as too much cleavage. NEVER. Second:

To (partial definition):
In a direction toward so as to reach: went to the city.
Towards: turned to me.

Too (partial defintion):
Very; extremely; immensely:

I.E., He's only too willing to be of service.

I am out of here if this shit doesn't stop with these fucking posters who 1) try and provoke other posters 2) insult other posters for no reason.
There were/are some funny posts from funny people. Can I propose that they just ignore 'it'?
Seriously, I'd been laughing for six months at the comments here until these ninnies started in with their shit.

I would have liked my first post to be something a little funnier. Maybe the Superfish moderator can be made aware of the sabotaging of this site. And then we can band together to rid it once and for all of this scourge.

Just sayin'.

Oh, and if Jessica Simpson wants to bend over backwards to try and stay famous, let her. It's only a matter of time before she can tell Joe she's self-sufficient enough to do her OWN rimjobs.

That said, I am off to work, I have an 11 o'clock Brazilian wax to do. I hope to God (or Gordon Lightfoot, or four random white people) that at the end of the day when I check in here that there's something that makes all my hard work worth it. Have a good one, Regulars.

i cannot believe what i am reading. i cannot believe you people allowed the fish to be hijacked by some freak. i cannot believe that some of you who know better are giving it THIS much attention. it was going fine when nobody was paying attention to it. what happened? just ignore it. if it doesnt get attention then it will go away.

Hey guys! Did I miss anything?

How long do you think she practiced posing in that in front of the mirror before she went to the event? And really, what IS up with all the super short dresses/skirts lately? They're making her legs look thicker.

434 & 437 hit the nail on the head. just don't reply. Everyone should know better than to get baited over and over again by a high schooler from Tennesseeeee who bashes everyone else's education! I once saw a dead rat in a tampon factory who's opinion mattered more.

after further review...

it is now known that the two main pains-in the-asses are high school buddies...therefore, i believe it was a group of kiddies this past weekend on their pcs, i-ming each other, and fucking with everone...

i'm with those who say "just ignore them and they'll go away..."

besides...band camp starts in a few weeks...

HURRY PAPA! Get your website up so we have a "safe haven".

And, after you get your website up, allow me to "get you up"

I'm so bored I feel like beating myself with my ruler.

If they don't post something new soon it will surely result in hair-pulling and name calling, and eventually rioting in the streets with the obligatory looting and pilaging. Oh, and rape and sodomy. And drugs. And murder and junk.

i'm down with the sodomy and drugs...

I'm down 4 whatever, because that's what the ghost of 2pac told me to be down 4.

down on all 4's?...

whateva...

don't be a playa-hata...

ain't nobody hatin' bitch, this is how rough riders roll, we down 4 whateva thug life rocafella badboy and no limit uuhhhhh nana na nahh!! What u know about that?

I would do filthy filthy filthy things to her. so hot.

The best word to describe this woman is RIDICULOUS.

#319: one of those spelling errors is "nonsenseical". That's nonsensical. You're welcome.

450

i love it when you talk ebonics osh...

#124: Having your own website is hip.

She looks like a man dressed up as a woman trying to be girly and cute. There's something seriously wrong with this woman... her body is square, she has man-like wide shoulders and back, she has no ass, her boobs and arms are really ugly and don't match with her square body and wide back. Her feet are plain disgusting. Not to mention her nose, jaw and profile. And not to mention how this woman manages to wear such ugly ridiculous clothes and accesories that don't flatter her at all. She looks so fake and unnatural... it's like she's constantly trying her hardest to look sexy and she's so obvious she ends up looking ridiculous. By the way, the horrid ridiculous style doesn't help at all.

She looks Wilma Flinstone

the girl still has no booty, i've been sayin it for years...

She does look a little like a lizard. like you could imagine her poking her neck out and a little forked tongue shoots out to grab a fly... maybe some sort of hybrid alien/human... I don't know - but it is weird.

Give the poor girl a break, it takes tremendous mental power to hold in a fart.

she is beautiful.....please look at yourselves before you even make a comment about her...especially you females that always find a problem with every beautiful girl you see. HATERS!

I think she looks very beutiful and a knock out. Those who judge others are just jelous.Any man out there would never say no for some of that.

Be nice. It's not easy holding up those big, fake tits.

she looks like a football player in these pics

Top row second one over, I think she forgot to shave her armpit.
That dress makes her look even worse then usual.
.:E:.

Well, for all of you saying that Jess looks like a barbie, Barbie's are cute, and Jessica looks gorgeous as usual.