1

I'm better than you

first

Yes the first to comment.

One of my life goals has been met!

Okay, so about this story... that bathing suit is aweful!!!!! And she's a skank... like anyone in the bordering states of California and New York haven't seen her nipples and her... umm.. never mind, lol.

She thinks shes so so great and she's only a skank who dosen't understand money.

She also has no shape to hold the suit up!

Okay, I wish I would have just put that all into one comment without taking up all that space, but I kept thinking of thing after I pushed send!!! Sorry guys!

HA LAMBANANAS!

You'll have to move faster beat me.

To comment on the pictures.

There's barely anything there.

She's a no talent flat chested bimbo.

EWWWWWWWWWWW that be nasty. What whoreriffic picture tho!

That wasn't a "slip". That was done in hopes of distracting us from her god awful music. Too bad we all realize she is nothing but a cum guzzling slut with pus-filled lesions on her hooha. Is the burn of herpes hot Paris?

Sadly, that's the most covered I've seen her in a long time.

Sadly, I have to agree with you bergdof.

Sadly I've got nothing original to say about Paris Hilton.

Sadly, my grandmother wears the exact same suit.

Sadly, I still think she's whoreiffic.

It's lame music, but it isn't awful -- we're not talking Boyzone or Westlife here. She's got a nice enough body, she's entertaining enough that the superficial (and everyone else) keep writing about her -- and hot enough to drive BSfan & Iambananas to post multiple cutdowns just wishing they could have a chick half as good-looking even give them the time of day.

Thanks, Paris, for the nip slip, and for all the entertainment.

What I want to know is, where's the *proper* video, not some AOL shite? I want to see the nipple in the video, not some pixelated crap.

I am SO TIRED of Paris Hilton being famous. I don't get it- I thought her 15 minutes ended, like, two years ago. I'm not even going to call her names, I am just OVER IT. Please, can't we start pretending she doesn't exist?

Sadly, orbital1420 is completely retarded.

she looks scrumdiddlyumptious to me :)

Look at all the sand up her cooch
I can't believe someone is desperate enough to produce her music, if you can call it that.

16

Paris Hilton is an ugly bitch. Quite frankly if someone like her gave me the time of day without me asking I'd run the other way.

The folks from Aaron Spelling productions called. They want their costume stash from Charlie's Angels back PRONTO!

Sadly, orbital is a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome.

i can't stand paris hilton, but i actually really like that bathing suit.

22

Charlie's Angels two is on right now.

Hehe

BSfan -- if so, why are you still watching this post? Why didn't you just skip it?

krisdylee, yep, you could be right -- or you could keep going and let's see if you can't come up with a more intelligent retort. By the way, if you need to look up that last word, I recommend http://dictionary.reference.com.

Jpike; Just finished doing a body shot off a toddler, does that count towards the syndrome?

and, paris AHHH, My Eyes!!!!!

yes..I looked...but is that kleenex in her top??? Is it to enhance the boobage...or to sop up the pus that is Paris Hilton

What is that on ger nipplr? Is that part of her suit. I hope her CD flops and she goes into deep depression and hides in some corner of the world, never to be heard from again.

WHEN did this site become The Skanktacular Life of Paris Hilton? Aren't there other people in the world? Ones who won't give me superherpecrabetitis by just looking at me? Ignore her/it. Media blackout. MEDIA BLACKOUT!!

29

Meh that never works.

The same thing happened to Mariah Carrie and she's back now.

But still any reprieve from her AT ALL would be ver appreciated.

When did she get fat? (Simple Life, first season, she is easily 10 pounds smaller).
One pik, she has a little pooch; in the TMZ video her butt spreads out when she's flipping for the camera. Maybe since she's not friends with Nicole & Lindsay, she lost her coke connection??

Honestly, all you "people" that come on to these threads, and say happy crappy shit like "you're just jealous" or "you all wish you could have a chick as half as good-looking as Paris" really confuse me. This isn't a recipe swap board, this isn't a place to learn better parenting techniques, this is the SuperFuckingFicial, and most of us enjoy a good laugh, some sarcasm, the odd cunt and cock comment, and some good-old-fashioned Celeb-bashing, inter-mixed with the odd sexual innuendo. So really, if you can't say anything nasty, don't say anything at all.

Nice to see The Superficial posting some nip slips again, even if it's only Paris Hilton's over exposed nip.

When did Paris grow a beer gut?

krisdylee -- I agree entirely. But molebashing is so much more honest and easy... in any case, not many will be as fucking funny as the story writers, so we might as well bait the "me too!"s

Or is that a semen gut?

#24,,,have you ever been to Hawaii??? That bathing suit...Hilo Hattie's $24.99...Paris might be a skank...but she's a frugal skank

She sounds about as good as Gwen Stefani.
That's my way of saying she sucks, but it'll be a hit!
And that's because people nowadays have absolutely no taste.

Her stomach is bigger then her breasts.

the slip may of been an accident, but her ass is huge.
hahahahahahaha

look at that big palm tree emblazoned purple ass!

and she looks like she came out a blonde 2006 cereal box.

Krisdylee;

Way to sum it up, you hot babe.

To continue with the 'sadly' theme...

Sadly, this video reminds me that sex on the beach isn't nearly as awesome as you'd think. Sand + friction= not good.

Such a nice idea though...

Sorry, I don't have a comment on Paris that hasn't already been made at least a few thousand times. I am laughing at her though... pretty much constantly.

Anyone notice thast the Paris Hilton threads are the most popular threads here? you all pretend not to like her, but you can't wait to see what she's doing now. Or who she's doing now. Which would be me, virtually, and I touch myself while staring at her perfectly formed small boobie.

huh...she looks a little ..um pregnant in shot #3 there...

and whats that? a michael Jackson glove too?

She looks like she's having an orgasm while posing for a Big Lot's ad.

She looks like Jessica Simpson half the time.
On the rest of pics, she looks fat. Finding a bathing suit to make one of the most hollywood-obsessed, you really have to make an effort. But to also make it this ugly - whoever was picking that up for her ddeserves some kind of award or recognintion...

actually looks like a little tater-tot in shot 3, 4 & 8..

either that or shes gettin a little fat

@16...watching midgets wrestle is entertaining, this bitch is a no talent rotten-crotched scumbag...i hope you meet a girl like her and your dick and/or vagina falls in the toilet...i'm trying to watch the basketball game,and i had to read that dumb-fucking post...

@46
hahahahahahaaaaa

crawl bitch, crawl in the sand!

Paris has breasts? Well, I'll be darned.

What's to slip out? Hell yeah she had to pull the top down. That's the only way those bug bites were going to come out of that bathing suit. What an attention whore!

How can anyone say she's fat??!?!? She is the exact opposite --- she has NO shape! But she is not not not fat at all. 90% of the people you say are fat on this site are not. Sometimes it's a little hard to believe.

i liek yher suit.. myabe is it is because i am kinda not drunk adn is yd dads brithday and i am bakred him a cake and i am not drunk and i ant call my boyfriend. you know? yeah because i can trype percectley!

What... the FUCK.. is she doing in that video.

And Paris isn't fat. Her ass looks nicer with whatever little weight she has. Altough I don't get the belly bulge. But a little bulge doesn't make her fat.

Pregnant perhaps? With a demon spawn?

"I love lamp."

-Brick Tamblin

***AND***

-Paris Hilton

Get it... because they;re both dumb. She isn't even smart enough to keep her parts in.

I don't think "1" counts... you have to write something funny, the superficial guy said it. (he dosen't like the "first" thinggy.

Fa Cube, where are you baby?

I just had a horrible thought that I need you to tell me is ridiculous...

I know you live in Santa Monica, but please tell me your office isn't on the 16th floor of an Encino office building...

MEh

I was rushing.

Altough you have to admit my demon spawn remark was funny? Wasn't it?

And if I was rushing I would have added the part where I say being first is one of my life goals that was met.

I have that exact same shitty posture...the only difference is that I'm fucking 6 months pregnant.

K-fed needs to bangulate and pregnify PH next. That way, at least her posture would makes sense.

Who ?

(Tit's ok Paris - Blame the beach)

The end of the world draws nigh!

Paris' herp-ridden crabs have escaped and will undoubtedly breed with the local crabs on that beach, creating a mutated species of evil super crabs that will rampage across the planet, killing all in their path.

Flee! Flee for your lives!

#62

*flees*

this PH stuff, beaming out into the universe...it gets picked up by a superior culture and you know what? They'll wipe us all out and who'd blame em?

#63:

If you are referring to another of Paris' infestations, that would be "fleas."

65

No I was replying to 62 where a comment was mad about fleeing from mutant crabs.

However the words could have eaisly been flipped.

One usually doesn't use the word wallow unless one is one is referencing shame, self hatred, or a sty full of pig shit; but somehow it works here.

Last week at the beach I saw a homeless Viet Nam vet performing the same sandy gyrations after downing a bottle of Wild Irish Rose and falling face down in the sand.

And strangely enough he was wearing the same bathing suit.

He probably smelt better too. And carried less disease.

That is the most unflattering swimsuit to surface the planet. It's like Three's Company meets Wonder Woman meets grandmas crusty girdle.

Yes, what's with all of the sand in her crotch? And her nipple was showing? Gosh, I'm shocked. But look at the photos in the first row, #3 and #4 from the left: she is really just ugly. Why is she "famous?"

Wow she does look pretty bad.

Especially #4 where her stomach and her but are bulging out

What I fail to understand are the slouchy gold dish-washing gloves with the granny-suit. Was she washing gold dishes? Is it some weird take on Michael Jackson's glove from the 80's? Any clues?

My nipple was out the entire time I read this.

She has some muscular man legs going on. Combined with her fake tan and pecs for breasts, she could be in the Mr. Universe contest.

I can't wait to see her "music career" fall faster than an oversprayed hairdo.

PS Motherfuckers, I LIKE Gwen Stefani.

Completely horrific Outfit Choice. Paris looks like a grandmother in that thing! I like the print and it would make a fine two piece, but somehow Paris tends to look pregnant whenever she wears anything like Satin or Spandex. Obviously if you are a cokewhore you don't work out so I wasn't completely shocked. Her thighs are much bigger than I thought, though. Anyhow, I also think I saw a 5 o clock shadow where it shouldn't have been in the first set of photos. She's so disgusting. I've been over big bird since I was 4.

I KNEW this day would come! HA! I've been envisioning this for so long:

Paris on the beach, looking all brain dead, probably thinking about money, herpes, or money, when suddenly...*gasp!* she begins to have a seizure, or some kind of condition which causes one to writher around like a dying snake, and no one helps her because.....huh? What is this you're telling me? Paris isn't dying? That's her trying to be SEXY? Oh crap. Ah well.

What a wonderful dream. If only it was real.

*looks around for 3 goats and a bridge*

Lotta fuggin' trolls aboot (nod to our Canadjun friends) today.

[monotone]Oh no. What shocking news. Paris Hilton has exposed an inappropriate part of her anatomy. How shocking. I am shocked. Because it is shocking.[/monotone]

Good god, she's so full of herself. I mean...look at her. No, no, I take that back. Don't.

whoa, that girl is developing some thick thighs. I remember her looking like a stick all the time. Since she has no boobies she shouldnt be wearing a one piece swim suit. She should of worn a two piece. Also, that swim suit has a horrible pattern, she should of worn something much more flattering...I bet that suit is probably by some top notch designer, and thats the only reason shes wearing it even though its UGLY. =[

43: Ari - that's why you have to go out in the water, love. The fish nibbling makes it kinda kinky. :)

58 - Ari: Nope, my office is downtown, facing the Disney Center. Nowhere near Encino. :)

I don't know if anyone's said this yet, but what is up with her freakishly large man-hands?

Where's the picture where the tide comes in, bearing a large Great White who was drawn to the shallows by the stench of rotting carp, and drags her back into the water, amidst a flurry of bloody foam and muffled shrieks?

Oh darn. That was just me daydreaming.

*sigh* I think Paris' nipples are the only things that have seen more camera time than Chris Meloni's cock - and that's only 'cause OZ ended.

#80

I imagine that in the voice of the teacher from Ferris Bueller. Don't make me say it.
Okay.

Bueller. Bueller...

Crabs on the beach....

Fa Cube, #82, I absolutely adore the way your brain works and;

#83, thank God. So you're handy to the Central courthouse. I always wound up lost in Chinatown coming back from there.

Yeah in the #3 pic her stomach is HUGE...swollen all the way to her vagina...either she's pregnant or Brandon Davis is missing............................get it.........missing........like he fell into her vagina and couldn't get out..........ummmm...get it.

86: He (Ben Stein) was actually a professor at my law school. Abso-fuckin-lutely hysterical to be in one of his classes. Fortunately, he's got a pretty good sense of humor about it.

#89

Or maybe she ate him

#90 Thta's so freakin cool.

Anyway its been nice bashing celebs and fighting ignorant assholes with you all but I'm over to get some sleep so I can do it all over again tomorrow.

Cya

Hmmmm....Paris on the beach
Hmmmm....Paris with scorching herpes

Call it a clam bake?

Ari: Chinatown's not so bad -- good grub there.

Know what you mean, though. When I had to commute from C-bas I missed the turn the first few times and launched a series of one-man invasions of East L.A. (And Fa no es un Vato!)

87: I don't think Paris has crabs so much as she has facehuggers from "Alien"

Dudes, I just finished cleaning up fresh cat puke on my kitchen floor, so I thought I'd give a shout out to sherry-co and Edna.

Hey cunts!

I like Chinese food, but I like Americanized Chinese food. I don't want the weird parts of the critters used in my dinner. I'm the same way with Mexican food.

Yes, I'm a white-girl wimp.

This video looks awesome. I bet it will redefine the medium.

Fa Cube:
That's right, Ben Stein, i couldn't have remembered his name if I tried...must have been those Pacificos...
Anyway, that's awesome he was your prof. I would actually WANT to go to his class. He's had an interesting career, and I want to know where he gets that money that you can win...

96: Agreed. I avoid the stuff like Bat Nipple Soup. It might be the best cuisine ever, but I can die contented without knowing that.

TrannyGranny,

I stand corrected on the "Babe the Blue Ox" thread. It turns out that Paul Bunyon folklore actually originated in Quebec and worked its way across the border. The "Blue Ox", however, is purely a Minnesotan invention. For your information, I'm also Canadian ;)

Oh Krisdylee..I feel for you. I just had to scoop a dead goldfish. Throwing up again just thinking about it. Those fuckers are as slippery as my cunty.

99: Bat Nipple Soup? Hehehehe... Now I'll giggle every time someone talks about bats...

I have a friend who's husband's family is Mexican, and every time they have some sort of get together, she'll be eating something and ask people what it is, and they tell her she doesn't want to know. She shrugs it off and finishes her meal. And yet, she gags at the thought of lima beans.

I watched part of this on E or something like that earlier and they were talking about the "slip". At one point, I really thought it would be her beaver popping out. Sigh of relief...

I'd rather scoop a dead goldfish than pull the guts out of the Thanksgiving turkey. *gag*

I want to poke it with a stick or drop it down into the dry well in my basement.

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS HOSE AGAIN.

102: Heh. I've got a buddy who loves Conch, but thinks escargot is the nastiest thing on the planet. Small snails, he can't handle, but a big ol' honkin' sumbitch of a snail? Gobbles it like Tom Cruise does cock.

103: How much you wanna bet her beaver has teeth that can put any of the mammalian ones to shame? Although, if we get lucky, maybe some trapper will come and shoot her for her beaver pelt.

106: Ew. I think the weirdest thing I've ever eaten was snake. Rattlesnake, even. It's actually pretty good.

@102

Us Mexicans are so DIRT POOR that we use all of the animal--that's why you get food made from cabeza, tripas, lengua, and salivary glands.

but I'm not that desperate and will stick to the muscle portion of the animal, thankyouverymuch.

107 I'm going to have nightmares about that.

What does 105 want to poke with a stick?

what nipple? it looks like a mosquito bit to me...
and that purple thing, who wears that?

@104

I made my first Thanksgiving turkey last year. It helps if you give pretend it's Paris Hilton, so it's actually enjoyable to rip its gizzard out.

Salivary glands? What dish is that? It sounds interesting.

I have a few things to comment about this:
1st why does she wear a glove?
2nd it looks like shes a little bloadded
and 3rd HAHAHAha her nipple is showing
(nothing weird with that tho, i mean the girl has sex tapes out)

If you buy the breast only, you can avoid the gizzards. You know, my granny boiled them for juices the gravy. Nasty. I hate that bitch.

108: Owl for me.

Did you ever go to that restaurant in (I think) Beverly Hills that once a year serves something really bizarre? A couple years ago, they had lion. Can't imagine it would be anything but gristle, but who knows?

Just got done with a set only to log on real quick and think that the night crew sucks all except for kridylee and feed_me.

Okay, and Ari, and Cruising and Fa.

But after that the night crew sucks.

Wasn't Ben Stein a speech writer for Nixon?

116

OWL?? What did that taste like?

113

That would be chorizo. You read the ingredient label, and it' there. I used to eat it when I was little, before i found out what was in it. So delish, but I just can't do it anymore. Plus, the very last time I ate it, I got food posioning. NOT FUN. I stick to soy chorizo, and it's actually really good scrambled with eggs.

Thanks, Zanna, you sexy little stripper bitch. And I mean that in the best possible way.

119: Thanks for the warning. Sorta like the way some salami lists the ingredients as "beef" where others are more specific "beef heart" (shouldn't it actually be "cow heart"?). In that case, ignorance is bliss.

Chorizo is still a step up from scrapple, though.

When the music started on Paris' video, I could've sworn it was the Chicken Dance.

119: Owl is similar to any game bird, I guess - sort of like duck or squab, if you've ever had those. Greasier than I would have thought, but that might have just been how it was cooked.

118: Yeah, I think so.

So Paris Hilton is going to talk about Lindsay Lohan being a fire crotch, yet her nipples look like big meatballs - Somethings wrong here!

ZANNA - I wish I could comment more during the day but the HR Manager signing on as cruising for cocks...seems wrong.

You can get a lap dance here for free - if you join the night crew.

121: Forgot the lymph nodes too. Doesn't that sound like more trouble than it's worth?

And have you ever read the ingredients list for head cheese? And I want to know who buys that shit. It's got bits of "meat" floating in gelatin. That's so wrong.

@121 Before moving to PA, I had never heard of scrapple, people around here love it....I've never tried it, that's some Fear Factor nastiness

@126

You're on enough during the day for me not to consider you "night crew". I design web sites during the day so I have access online all the time then. Stripper Geek!

Dammit. I'm having modem issues...

#116, no, I never spent a lot of time in Beverly Hills. Now, Culver City, there are a couple of awesome hole-in-the wall places there.

Great legs tho. Gotta love that.

131: Yup. Some great mom & pop mexican.

#132: Yup. Nice tight little body. I'd feel her up. Of course, my saying that will enrage the ugly girl support group that has taken over this site.

133, Tito's Tacos!
I talked to a guy once, who lived in Culver City and had never been there. I asked him why not, and he said, "Because it's always too crowded!"

Uhh.. I don't know about his logic, but when a really pretty scuzzy looking restaurant is ALWAYS busy, that's somewhere I want to try.

And, just around the corner from that, Johnny's Pastrami. Awesome.

127: Scrapple is what is made from the remains after hot dogs (which are just lips and assholes anyway). Distinctly unpleasant.

128: Good call not trying it. :) I spent a few years in eastern PA. I miss the birch beer (sorta) and cheese steaks (quite a bit), but that's about it. Well, Yuengling was ok, too.

Scrapple sounds like something I wouldn't feed my dog.

Yuengling?

A mirror!? Does her dressing trailer not have a mirror?!? For God's sake, have a gander in the mirror before you go out in public in that!?!

Ok. There's one thing about Paris that you all must agree :

She's - consistant.

So is 'W' - and he's always getting re-elected.

Look out Hillary.

137 Its a brand of beer brewed in Pottsville PA

And They Call Her Hook_Nose McGee.

BTW....Last!!!!!!!! :-/

i learnt the other day that her eyes aren't even blue.. she wears contacts all the time. her eyes are brown

Seeing Paris Hiltons boob is like seeing a gay guy on Will and Grace. Its just not impressive anymore.

I have a new nickname for her: Pancake Hilton.

Not that I endorse boob jobs or anything, but when you have that much money and spare time, and you're that flat, well...

It looks like she's trying to copy Madonna's style with that bathing suit...maybe she's hoping for a duet at the next MTV music awards?

The song didn't make my dog howl like I was expecting it to. Then again, I thought it would sound like a drunken sailor singing a rap song.

what a stupid little cunt she is

Hey the bathing suit may be bad, but as someone pointed out, its the most clothing she's had on in a while....

Saying that Paris is classy is like saying that Britney is a good parent.

#143 shaun, sweetheart, have you been living under a rock??

Seriously, what is the deal with that bathing suit?? No one should ever wear a bathing suit with a belt. What's the point? I hate random accessories that were invented to serve a purpose (such as belts) which are used for no reason whatsoever. At least she's not wearing another sweatsuit, I guess.

I find that with a belt, you can easily carry all necessary beach accessories without your hands.

You know, how else am I going to get a flask of Wild Turkey, a gun, a novelty condom, an all-purpose Swiss Army Knife down to the shore? Fuckin' A.

She's lining her crotch with sand for better traction.

oh, the korean britney (the superfish guy put up awhile ago) is so much hotter without squirming around like a..purple anteater (http://www.no-pest.com/Creature-of-the-Month.htm) yea, paris is uglier than the anteater,they're actually kind of cute; paris is not cute.

how does the korean britney look like again? i remember shes hot she doesnt squirm,she can dance and shes younger than paris

After filming ended, the HazMat team that was on standby immediately laid a lead coating over the perimeter surrounding the area. Venereal contamination levels should begin to come down in approximately 1,000years.

Afterwards, FEMA shot and burned the bodies all involved in the production, per special Paris Hilton Protocols.

I ate cougar meat once.

Does anyone know when her "Screwed" CD will be out? It's been 2 years and no CD has been avalible whatsoever.

Janice Dickinson was tough and leathery though.

Don't you need a CD and songs to make a video?

Now we're gonna have to deal with her on MTV talking about how her video is "hot" and "awesome" and how everyone should buy it. Like she says about every other thing in her life.

I bet she was rubbing sand on herself to help relieve that pesky crotch itch.

#156, it was postponed until Sept b/c they couldn't get her to take the random cocks outta her mouth long enough to sing the songs.

@151 don't forget to take a travel sized bucket of KY jelly. :)

you know, for emergencies.

I bet her crabs are enjoying all that sand.

What has she been eating. I mean look at the gunt on her.

In some sort of pavlovian reaction, it's obvious that the moment her nipple appears, she assumed blowjob position.

no 44 her threads are popular because she is the easiest to make fun of. it gives the commenters here great material. whats not to make fun of?

and actually , tom cruise is the most popular here not paris.

@163, that's a fact, Tom Cruise is very popular here. His popularity stems from his enthusiasm for the cock and all things cock related.

and thats why he rivals hilton as the most popular. somehow toms love for the cock is way more amusing and endearing than paris'. awww i miss TC posts.

I lost 10,000 riel on Paris when I was in Cambodia. I figured on her to win in a mixed-animal pit fighting competition, but a fingerless four-year-old orphan headbutted her in the crotch in the third match, and she went into a coma induced by septic shock. All this after she had defeated the heavily favored feral boar in match two by biting its testicles off. Cunt. That 10,000 was supposed to be my hooker money for the weekend.

Okay.... who pick out this Barney meets your Mom in the 80's bathing suit!!!! Paris is a rail... but in the shot of her coming out of the trailer her legs look heavy. The suit is NOT flattering!!!!!

You'd have to do alot more than show a nipple in that suit to make it sexy!!

Showing your nipple while you have pasties to hide your nipples under the suit & probably topstick to hold up the halter is so far from anything sexy.... more like ouchie!!! No one wants to see that!!!

I have to add her flailing on the beach looks more like a seizure....

#85...thats great!! So true.... we can also add Bill Paxton's ass in "Big Love" to that list.

& Whoever said she is just trying to distract us from how bad her music is.... I whole heartedly agree!

All I have to say to to the Purple People Eater.... Ms. Hilton...... PLEASE GO AWAY FIRECROTCH!!!!

Such pornography! I will pray for all of us. Jesus saves.

Vapid twat in a grandma bathing suit...that's hot.

Oh yeah, I forgot. SMASH!!

I love you Edna Slamprick.

I'm still amazed that - given every human in the civilised world has seen her giant flapping minge - her nipple popping out is classed as newsworthy.

Knock yourself out Edna, grab a cup'o coffee and enjoy the show.

Gee, they make those shoes in a Men's size 14!

I don't think her stomach's fat as much as she has a bad case of noassatall. All the free time in the world you think that bitch would lift some fucking weights or something. She is totally doughy. Also, her ugly ass bathing suit looks like Farrah Fawcett's circa 1976. I think she's going for that whole Farrah look judging from her 70s hairdo. I can't wait til the day when she's asup and sad as Farrah is nowadays. Oh well, I guess she luckily still have her money. Dumb twat.

*that's as "shriveled up and sad as Farrah

My bad.

Barbado -- I also keep a stash of glycerin enemas tied to the belt. You never know when being able to take a dump on command will come in handy.

PARIS HILTON

definition: That nagging itch in your left nut

Hmm, Paris' boob......... Again.
Paris is one of the only girls I know of who has man boobs!

You know, as I sit here in my custom taylored mankini I get the impression she got that swimsuit off the rack at JC Penney's.

I'm gonna get another beer, god, I need to shave too.

somebody spray some raid around her, she's showing signs of mosquito bites...

I hate getting in on the end of a long thread! Good comment krisdylee.

Two words - wonky eye.

I want to slap her in the face with a stack of ones. Overrated hooker.

Edna:

"Such pornography"?

Where the hell have you been? This isn't porn. Not even close. Go down to your local adult video store and rent a view porn flicks so that you can better understand what you vilify. Tell the clerk that you are looking for lots of anal and DP scenes, as well as facials.

I blew in a chick's face once. It's overrated.

HER MOTHER WAS A PORNO ACTRESS AND SHE IS JUST FOLLOWING HER MOTHER'S EXAMPLE. SHE WANTS TO BE A WHORE JUST LIKE HER MOM

#137 Yueng Ling is awesome beer!!

#180 Slim, please post pictures of said mankini at your earliest possible convenience. Thank you.

She is trying to do that retro 70's pornstar look. The look that Madonna is going for. All she needs now is some black knee highs and Ron Jeremy.

I'd like to see Ron Jeremy ass fuck this bitch. They could swap STDs.

I used to think Paris was skanky but cute so she could get away with it a little. Now I see what she actually looks like. A drag queen. A skanky, dirty, ugly drag queen.

Ron Jeremy was awesome in, "John Wayne Bobbit: Uncut".

Stallion likey Yuengling but doesn't get the connection with the chinks. Never saw a slant eye in Pennslyvania......

And Pottsville is so false advertisement, What a wasted 1 hour drive.......

#180, arrangements are being made and you'll be posthaste :)

#185, explain this Kathy Hilton porn connection please, any...."useful" links would be greatly appreciated as well.

My interest is purely academic, I like to study all porn.

ooops

#180...should read: "notified posthaste"

She needs to learn how to shave that bush. It's leaking over the edges of her ugly swimsuit. YUCK! MY EYES! MY EYES! Excuse me now, I must go vomit.

thats more clothing than i expected to see her wearing when shes making a video...

A nip slip is porn now? Clearly someone's led a sheltered life.
I used to work at a video store and I re-stocked more porn than most people have ever seen. Stole some of it too...love the titles they come up with for them, like "All Hands on Dick" and "Sleazy Rider."

damn, how come I never get invited to a ho-down, this is a picture of a ho-down, isn't it?

I'm sure that lame ass bananas favorite movie is Men in Black Men.

How cute...she brought her own crabs to the beach.

Sandy vagina

198-- or Anal Invaders

I'd hit it. With a tidal wave?

@ everyone, go to Paris thread before this one, last Papa comment........good stuff....Think it's #276

Top five things I'd rather listen to:

1. Cats mating at 2:30am

2. A ringing telephone that everyone refuses to answer

3. My neighbors having sex at 2:30am

4. A weed whacker at 8:30am on a Saturday

5. Anything by Yoko Ono...and you know that shit's bad!

@203

I think the mating cats and Yoko Ono classify as the same thing.

the only question left to ponder: is she really dumber than brittany?

oh sweet jesus! I just had a brilliant epiphany that involved paris waddling around LA with a womb full of kevin federline's spawn.

Anyone else think she looks like she's trying to copy Madonna's 'Hung Up' video? The purple bathing suit where Madonna had a purple leotard... and the Farrah hair. The undeniable blonde Farrah hair... which make's Paris' face look really, really wide.

I miss MeganHarris

Ooof, I don't know about that Yoko Ono one, words can't explain how suicidal her, ahem..."music" makes me.

I'm really torn.

for those sick of paris, check out how hot brandon davis looks in this photo from yesterday:

http://www.nypost.com/photos/pg605262006f.jpg

He looks like a drunk, fat, brown eyed Elvis. Ha no offense if you like him.

204 & 208 so true..!!

Okay so recap. I'm back. Paris has herpes.

Hey do any of you feel bad that we make fun of people we haven't even met an have only learned about through media. We pick apart their apperence and blow all their minor flaws out of proportion just to make us feel better.

Does it worry you that maybe the trolls are right? Maybe we're just horrible people with low self-esteem and nothing but bitter feelings toward the world?

Yeah. I'm just asking you guys cause it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Nice call 86, yup, the fat sweaty Elvis. I bet he smells great too.

yuck

Nope, I'm not worried at all. The people I DO actually know, I treat very well. If they don't belong in my life, I get rid of them... generally in a very nice way. Like moving out of state.

This is my outlet, the one place where my mommy's, 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' teachings get thrown by the wayside.

1) Paris has a beer gut.
2) Why does anyone still acknoledge the god damned 'Edna Bambrick' alias.
3) Paris has a beer gut.

wow 202, some shit went down yesterday. whatever everybody knows poor people fuck better anyway. what else can you do when you theres no heat or light?

I love that when I'm just scrolling, I see little gems like "semen gut" "what would that taste like?" and "sandy cunt." The conversations here are awesome! Only here, only here.

She's gaining weight. Her stomach looks bloated and fat.

By the way it took me weeks to realize that "I am bananas" name was not "LAMBANANAS", which i pronounced "LAME-BANANAS" in my head.
Carry on.

#217

We are awesome onversationalists

#218

Yeah she has definatly gained weight but I wouldn't say she's fat. So she has a little paunch what's wrong with that?

The real question is... when is P. Hilly not slipping a nip? Or a vagina?

America cries for more.

#202 - Stallion, it's actually 275, but anyone who can read will figure this one out. Send Whipper the picture that you sent me. I know it was really you.

Just to make sure everyone sees...
Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 26, 2006 10:37 AM

Just so everyone knows, Whipper is actually lambananas. That fucking tool actually emailed me this yesterday:
"I am Bananas, and you are mean mean mean. Why do you constantly say "going to ignore" to me when just saying that constitutes communication? You're a real idiot."

This is her/him/it's contact info:
"Simon Garfunkel" whipper_willow@yahoo.com

She/He/It's actually usues Simon Garfunkel as her/his/it's name.

I have full intentions of sending this bag of pigshit enough fucking porn and spam that Homeland Security will press charges...

#219 - They're the same person, the handle lambananas - which I pronounce the same - got banned and the dumbass came back - HEY IT'S STILL ME!! Then all of this moderating started and HWMNBM is STILL HERE.

To quote the awesome 80's movie Heathers:
I want to fuck Paris gently with a chain saw.

Make sure you address Mrs Bananas by her proper gender: "female", she was ADAMANT about it. Think it has something to do with some women's lib thing. Anyway, we wouldn't want to be impolite or politically incorrect.

What's with the gold mesh gloves and the belt hiked up to her chin? Why would you need to wear a belt with a bathing suit? And the suit looks like it was fashioned from remnants of an old jazzercise outfit. Let's get physical, physical!

214

My thoughts exactly. This is the only place where I get to say nasty things about people, and get away with it. Except when the trolls come out and start picking fights. Then it's go time.

219

Yeah, I knew about that, but I still prefer to call it lamebananas.

#220 Nothings wrong with that. Unless you are strutting around in an ugly ass bathing suite like you are hot and rolling around in the sand like an idiot exposing your 12 year old girl boobs and spreading herpes and god knows what else to all the poor little sea creatures.

was it really bananas? that willow came off more mean and creul than immature, annoying and stupid like bananas. who knew KKK members have access to computers?

#224 Slim, when you wear your mankini in public do you cover it with a sarong or a grass skirt and coconut bra combo?

224

I think it was insisting that it is male, (I think the words were "oh my gosh, you guys think I'm female, you're such SLIMY SLUGS!"), but I'm sticking to female.

You guys are provoking the beast.

Upon further review of the nip slip her suit was definatly stuffed with something. Either that or her breasts were taped. Either one is a way to make the breasts look better and either way failed terrible.

bananas is still posting under original screen name - me thinks it is new punching bag.

Its like when you stand in the dark in front of a mirror and chant Blood Mary. Then she shows up and posts 7 scroll-downs of crap!!!!

#228 - Can you say schitzophrenic? Lame is the harmless personality. Whipper is the stupid one. Like in Multiplicity, where the last guy is so dumb that he just licks the pizza and stuffs it in Stevie's wallet.

My nipple slipped out? OOPPs (giggles) That'll make my video sooooo hootttt!!! I am soooo HHOOTT. I sssssssiiiiizzzzllleee.

Nothing but sarong baby. When you have as much upper body hair as I do you just wanna show it off for the ladies.

Am I right fellas?

#235 I can say Schlitzophrenic but that's only after a few beers.

235

Ha ha! "I want pizztha".

237

Added bonus for the chest hair o'plenty, the ladies' fingers get tangled up in it, and then they can't get away.

...covering 'Oops I Did It Again' would perhaps be more appropriate.

"lambananas"/Whipper_willow" actually have serious problems and you should take pity. I got a letter from him yesterday, and ethics prevent sharing it here, but I will give my response.

Dear "lambananas",

It sounds as though you have some fairly difficult questions. I hope my response will help allay some of your fears.

First off, the "strange swelling and hardening" of your penis is not, as your classmate suggested, an, "instant tumor". In medical parlance, this is called an "erection" (EHR-WRECK-SHUN). It is perfectly normal, and you needen't fear for your health.

Secondly, the, "thick, sticky white stuff" that came out of the part of your penis, "where [you] normally pee" is not an indication that you are dying, despite what your grandfather told you. this is seminal fluid (SEH-MIN-UL FLOO-ID), and is a natural substance found in males. For more information, please read chapter 12 of my best-selling book, "BoyMan: Being the last of your peers to come of age".

Thirdly, when your pal from your, "after school Dungeons and Dragons Club" told you hair growth around your penis indicated you had, "contracted lycanthropy and should save versus disease at +2 to avoid turning into a werewolf" I think he might have been having a joke with you.

All of these things are symptoms of a stage we call "puberty" (PYOO-BERT-EE), and you don't need to worry. The fact that some of them first occurred while you were doing a Vin Diesel image search does not make you "weird". You might notice, for instance, that some of your chums enjoy chocolate or vanilla milkshakes after school. this doesn't mean you can't enjoy a banana split, now does it?

This can be a confusing time for people your age. If you have questions, you should talk to a trusted grown up (e.g. a teacher, priest, policeman, or one of your mother's "dates"). they can probably help you work things out.

As always, thanks for your questions. Kepp them coming!

In Perfect Health,

Dr. Rokter

Back to the skanketalic whore, why was she prancing to her car like that? Was that part of the video?

237 And you know the ladies likey the hair vest. OHHHHHH YEEEAAAHHH.

242

SOM!!!!!

#242 - Marry me.

#219 - THANK YOU! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that (and will continue to refer to it as so)

242

Thankyou

dear sweet mother of shitting christ.

that is all...

@249

**pulling you by the ear**

..pottymouth, stay in the corner..

#235 I was thinking the same thing with a twist...its a hermaphrodite with multiple personality disorder and he/she has a whole string of personalities, all with bad spelling and absurdly long posts. PapaHotNuts, do something quick!

#245: clean yourself up, then!
#246: only if we can have a Wiccan wedding. I hear those bitches like to party.
#248: You're welcome.

Sorry about the length, it just came out that way for some reason.
As the bishop said to the actress.

I want a ponie ride. A really BIG one.

Argh. Is there really a lifeform on the planet who has not witnessed the nips of SkankyHoCrustyPants? Bigger news would be that K-Fuck has knocked her up...

rub the magic lamp and watch me turn into a "stallion"

she nasty. if writhing around in the sand like a whore while singing songs about getting physical is all you have to do to make millions...why aren't more people millionaires? people act like it takes so much talent and pizazz to make it in hollywood. paris hilton is prove that you can be completely useless and still be famous. which is sad.

My nether regions are already tingling, and I've not even mounted the saddle!

yooo yo yo

mount that saddle cause this ponie has just gone stallion

Is it afternoon delight time? Alright!

I just slipped off my chair

Who needs a saddle? Bareback, baby... all the way.

260

It's only 10:50 here, but you go right ahead.

I'm going to go see X-Men 3 toniiiiight! I heart Hugh Jackman. His name sounds like a porn star name. Who else could look so hot in muttonchops?

262

I like the stirrups.

And the spurs.

And the whip.

266--I find a riding crop much more manageable.

@259 Only one Stallion, and he is typing this comment foolio.......Stallion SMASH ponies.........(M@CE, sorry it was needed to be used, please don't sue Stallion)

Whatsa matter, Stallion, can't handle a little competition? =)

This sucks, i want a new post.

@263 Seeing Hugh Jackman gets me moist and lusty

I agree, the Superfish guy is slaaaackiiiingg.

Is this what we're stuck with all weekend long? And that's a beer belly, folks. It's what happens when you do nothing but party and drink.

what a ju high or what? what arr ju freekin nutts.

www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=513

Stallion loves competition, although I always lose a good sex race, Ponies go to fast but Stallion is like Energizer Bunny, I keep going and going and going.......

(in homer voice)
Mmmm...Hugh Jackman...

268 and 275

Stallion like refer to self ion third person.

Make BSfan laugh for no real good reason.

SLACKING! he better come up with a bunch of new post that will totally blow us away for at least a week

275

I'm not sure about liking the going and going part, bouncing in the saddle too long gets me sore.

Satllion think BSfan pretty funny too, Stallion realize he's new though....When Stallion younger he bite head off rat too just like BSfan's Idol, Stallion win that bet and buy lots o grass from Omish farmer, good eating that week..........

its friday and its a 3 day weekend. maybe mr. fish is out enjoying himself. its 220pm. can it be 430 already!

the thing about ponies is that they're young studs...

ride em' and use em', it's all good...

Stallion, are you drinking? You're starting to spell like HWMNBN.

I like bitches, all kind's of bitches, to take of my shirt and pull down my britches, if she's got big titties, I'll squeeze them and hold them, while she sucks my dick and licks my scrotum, and if shes got a friend I'll fuck her too, together we can play a game of switcheroo, I ain't the type, that gets all mushy, I like to sit back and watch them eat each others pussies, weak people might say I'm insane, but thats the fucking other level of the game, I'll turn your sister out if she fucks with me, you want to know my identity.......Stallion

-Ghetto Boys

BSfan happy Stallion find him funny.

Bsfan wonders if Stallion could give him name and address of said Omish farmer.

YEA I DONT LYK THE SWIMSUIT BUT SUM OF U GUYS WERE CALLIN HER FAT! R WE LUKIN @ THE SAME PERSON HEA! NO WONDA SO MANY GURLS HAV EATING DISORDERS!

You better not fuck with me man, cuz I know Mexican judo...

Ju do know if I gotta knife...

Ju do know if I gotta gun...

she needs to die

Fore the record, it's *whispers* Amish.

*For* ha ha, dumbass.

My mind was set on *fore*play.

Always before 'nip slip' make M@ce tingly in 'special place'.
Make M@ce tight in pants.
This one make M@ce feel sick in stomach.
Make M@ce soul hurt...make M@ce want to SMASH!!

I think the Superfish guiy figures this Paris story is enough to keep us going all weekend long!

#288

Indeed

OK, since the Superfish guy has started the Memorial day partying early (good for him!) I thought this story may give us something new to talk about.

CHECK IT OUT!!!!!!

http://tmz.aol.com/article2/_a/tomkats-bathroom-mission/20060526121209990001

Tom Cruise won't even let Katie Holmes pee in peace!

O and for those of you who don't like the suit atleast its a step up from the outfit she's wearing in the last article.

For reference that's the place we got into the huge fight with LAMEbanannas aka Whipper_Willow aka Asshat.

Tom was afraid that Xenu would pop out of the toilet and tell Katie some Scientology secrets that he himself doesn't know.

295

After reading the article you posted I can only hope they washed their hands.

And I'm glad to see I'm not the only one craving a news update.

Also Paris has a wierd gut and a flat chest. Why is that hot?

I've watched my wife "do her business" plenty of times, but at draw the line at watching her change her tampon. That's just gross.

I jsut saw the video of this on tv this morning. Was she trying to look sexy? because she was not hot at all: I think I've had sexiest movements while I make my coffee.
Doesn't she realise she only make a fool of herself?
(#301? :))

295

I wonder if he keeps a tally of her bowel moments and urination.

He also likes to harvest some of her turds, to roll them in miced almonds. You know, Almond Roca.

LOL..BigJim @287. You funny mother-fucker!!! I almost blew diet pepsi out of my nose when I read that.

Carbonation hurts in the nasal passages. And jizz in the eye stings.

#296 - What a freak show. His kids will eventually totally resent the fact that he turns their games into photo-ops. It's doubly nasty because I bet that she's still bleeding.

#303 - Keeps tally or just flat-out keeps?
He probably makes her go in there with him because he thinks his shit doesn't stink.

Stallion,

Please be my bitch for the weekend.....

that "paunch" of Paris' is going to turn into one of them fat-lady "hump-cunts" if she doesn't be careful. You know, when the belly get so fat that there is that sick looking "overhang" that makes you ask them how far along they are. Yea, that there is a hump-cunt.

Zanna, were you blowing the Pepsi delivery guy?

@309. Yea I was blowing the Pepsi guy. He gives me a bunch of those bottle caps for free so I can get free ringtones.

http://www2.pepsi.yahoo.com/ringtone/index.php

Don't take much to make me happy!!! ha ha! :)

MystressJade, Stallion not a bitch but whatever foats your boat, Stallion needs a Mystress for the dirty stuff........

The jizz in the eye thing had me curious. You don't live in Crapville, do you? I just want to make sure we're not blowing the same guy.

I wonder if any talent will ever slip out. Other than talent for whoring.

Working today sucks. Anyone else working?

Well, depends on your definition of "Crapville" but I'm in good old Massachusetts.

@313 Talent only slipped out so Worthless and Spoiled could fit their dicks in......

@303 ...He probably does, it's on a clipboard hanging on the side of his custom alien toilets.

All of his bathroom fixtures are cock themed of course.

314 yes but i get to break out of here in one hour

What's up hustlers?

http://www.sikvid.com/index.php?vid=2137

Papa and I posted at the same time, now I feel all warm and cuddly!

#314 - Hardly working.

Tranny, I love coming together, don't you?

Papa, want to get together and shag all weekend? I want to lose my virginity around a major holiday so that I never forget it.

Show of hands, please -- Is there anybody in America who has NOT slept with Paris Ho-ton?

317
And the alien toilets are fitted with a special extension that slips up his asshole, to keep him from falling off.

Yuck, that sounds painful.

314

Unfortunately, yes. But apparently not hard enough to not be able to come on here and post.

Well, Tranny...thank you for that (@320)...it gets my point across re: the hump-cunt...

#315 - It's where Mamacita and I founded the Scatology Research Center. It is at an undisclosed location somewhere along the Texas/Louisiana border. Not Massa-two-shits. I'm in good ol' San Antonio, the best little city in Mexico. San Mexico. It rains here whenever Eva Longoria drinks a Pepsi.

Jacq; I always like it when the girl comes a few times before we come together.

Sissybelle' I was drunk and tried sleeping with her once, but her crabs kept dragging me out of the room. They were like "No, man, don't do it, we are the cleanest thing on her body, you don't know what it's like in there" Thanks again, crabs, drinks on me if you make it out the mountains.

#324, I heard a rumor about some guy in Kansas City, but he turned out to be gay.

Yup, the only guy who hasn't slept with Pris Hilton is a Kansas City faggot.

Ahh, yes the "SRC" - it's kind of like area 51. Where is mamacita these days?

*Paris*

has everyone seen this dog?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL6JBGrICzo&search=crazy%20dog

Everyone have great Memorial Day weekend and be sure to get laid! Peace and a can of hair grease. Goodbye turkeys!

Her parents must be so proud. All that hard work from generations past to build up the Hilton hotel empire, and now any of their bellhops or doormen can take a break and go jack off to one of their daughter's online screwing/stripping/sucking vids. I say we draft her into the army, slap her in a flak jacket, throw her a rifle, toss her on the Iraqi front lines, and see what happens.

Happy MD to u 2, PapaHo.

First.

And stallions and ponies can be the same thing. An adult male pony is a stallion.

I'm bored.

Jacq;

I got thinking about it, and when I was in highschool I deflowered some chick on Memorial day. I think she still celebrates the holiday by yelling "Ouch" and using way to much teeth while eating picnic hotdogs.

This one's for you #335

Timeline: Iraq, September 15, 2006

Reuters:

The US Army has released a statement explaining that it is closing the investigation of Pfc. Paris Hilton. The army is satisfied with eyewitness accounts from her unit-mates that she was shot in the back by a sniper sixty seven times. The sniper is believed to be a member of the Taliban and a crack shot, seeing as he managed to hit her as the unit's C5 Galaxy transport was flying over the Atlantic.
No other investigations are planned.

PARIS HILTON... The Entreteiner of the Year hahahaha

Are "picnic hotdogs" different from regular hotdogs?

tits_on_snack

give a ponie a break will ya', I'm the shadow of the stallions former self...

Zanna; Hump-cunt? Do I have to read the whole thread to find out what that is? Oh, checked out your link, that looks like the nicest strip club I have ever scene! I started throwing cash at the monitor just browsing.

Tits on

I actually did my Doctoral Dissertation on the nuances and function of your various tube-shaped meats. Fascinating reading, if I do say so myself. I posted it online at www.dr.tubeshapedmeat/backdoorfunction/harvard.edu if you want to check it out.

279--that's why you gotta ride bareback. That way, there's nothing to interfere with feeling every movement of the powerful beast you're straddling...

And Tranny--I'm still waiting for you to throw me up against a wall and fuck me til I can't walk.

(yes, I'd say Superfish guy needs to post something new)

Ari;

Name the State, name the Date, and consider yourself fucked. Not just against a wall either, I'm talking bent over a couch, in the shower, standing up in the middle of the living room, and any other place I can toss you to. Your feet won't touch the ground all day! *sniffs* Thats gotta be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!

B-slim;

I just randomly scrolled in the middle of this thread and "custom-made mankini" will be etched into my brain forever. Rock on!

Tranny: hump-cunt is at 308....

And YOU, sir can come down for a free lapdance anytime!

I wish Zanna would come strip in Canada. We got pretty lax rules in our strip clubs.

Well, BigJim....if there is a will, there is a way and there are NO rules when its a private dance.

This is where I'd like to see Zanna:

www.frenchmaid.com

Zanna; Whoo-hoo, free lap dance! You will never see a grin as big as mine! I gotta get to the east coast this year, Stallion offered to take me partying and now this!

Hump-cunt is nasty.

Zanna, I'd like an order of scrambled eggs between your legs for breakfast.

I just took a closer look at the 3rd pic. She looks like she is thinking "Wow, I wonder if anyone else can smell my pussy? Mental not: talk to ob-gyn, I don't recall it smelling like old milk and artichokes when I was younger."

damn, I meant Mental note

346: What about my knees? Can my knees touch ground?

Ari; Damn, girl! Where have you been all my life!

Tranny--does that mean the knees can touch?

(I'm near Ft. Worth right now.)

How do you like living on the outskirts of nowhere? I've lived in or near big cities all my life, and the sort of... general chaos of my environment gets to me sometimes.

Take me camping and do me against a tree. :)

Ari, ever been twirled around like a helicopter.

It's my understanding that skankula paid for the album.

Sounds like good ol' Paris. Constantly finding new ways to crap her inheritance down the toilet on stupid endeavors.

It's all about being famous you know, hence the stupid Barbie poses for the camera everytime she is at a red carpet event.

Hey everyone, LAMEbananas is on the Denise Richards article. If you missed yesterday nows your chance to get out all your hate. Enjoy.

I hope she keeps doing her shitty projects til she runs out of money...

bigponie: no, but have you ever come out of a sexual haze and realized you had eight perfect nail imprints on your ass?

Just asking...

361--I'm working my damndest to keep control of myself so I don't respond to it.

But if everybody else starts up, I may as well join in, right?

Ari' I love where I live. I have actually lived in Dallas, San Fransisco and Phoenix, but I'm happy where I'm at now. I live in the boondocks, but I am still under an hour away from a major city. There are no houses behind me for like 35 miles. My dog attacked a bear in my front yard to drive it away from my front door.
Anytime you want to go camping, let me know, nature sex Rules! I think Dallas is an 8-10 hour drive from my place.

Ari

I already did. I told him exactly what I think about him.

Ari, never had eight imprints only twenty-four and it spelled the word "GOD"

Ari; I actually have a scar on my back from where this chick dug in. It's 3" long and looks like someone tried to steal a kidney. Yes your knees can touch the ground! I'm into working together for ideas...

It's official, I Am Going Home next week...woohooo!!!!!!!!!!!

Tranny, that's awesome. I can't believe your dog attacked a bear. Holy shit, my dog went after a rat once, and I think it scared her half to death. She's 85 pounds of big damn baby...scared of the neighborhood cats.

I would love to have a cabin up in the woods someday...nothing but the sounds of the animals and the squeak of the bedsprings reaching my ears.

BSfan--hehe... I was referring to my nails, and you're funny.

*bows*

A thousand thankyous.

wow i really hate paris hilton. Som1 please slap her

An ex of mine gave me hickies in the shape of an inverted cross once...

Nope, not relevant to anything.

Tranny--for some reason I thought you'd headed home already, but just recently.

My bad.

hey BSfan, those fingernails belong to me so go find your own.

bigponie, but you never answered the question.

Well?

Ari, read #366

Argh. Sorry 'bout that...you guys just get me so excited I forget what I'm doing.

Where else can I see this video? It won't open on my Mac, as AOL is a WORTHLESS ASSBAG when it comes to Mac users.

I'm just gonna have to punish you by makin' you work overtime on me

Ari; My dog bit the bear right in the ass, it was scary at the time, but friggin hilarious later.

"sounds of animals and bedsprings" That is exactly what my cabin is like....I should send a pic.

Ritzy, no one can slap paris hilton. The phenomena know as a "black hole" has been located by scientists in the vicinity of her lower torso, and any object moving in for close contact becomes invariably sucked in and lost forever. Although Maximillion almost made it out till that shitty little robot iced his bad ass.

#379, I do enjoy my work, but I need enthusiastic feedback to be at my best.

Tranny--what do you do out in the middle of nowhere? Personally, I can picture...umm... sex, sleeping, hiking, more sex, maybe some reading in there somewhere...?

(Yes, I'm always like this. To quote my ex, when I would wake him up in a *very* nice way in the middle of the night, "GOD WOMAN! WILL YOU NEVER LET ME SLEEP??")

let me put it this way Ari, by the time we're finished with each other humpin' and pumpin', there'll be nothing left of us but the puddle of love sweat on the bed.

#378, I have AOL and a Mac. I rarely use the Mac online though, because of this kind of shit. It's great for other stuff, but yeah.. AOL and Mac are really not so great together.

Ari; Well, when my ex was still with me, it was sex, hike, sex, 4-wheel, sex, shoot guns (naked), sex...I think you get the idea. I usually have the winter off from work, so I snowboard damn near every day, ride snowmobiles, have bloody mary's for breakfast at the local dive. Summertime, BBq-s, hiking, scaring the shit out of wildlife, visiting my sis in So-Cal and surfing, cooking, making wine, and insulting people on the fish. New hobby as of about 3-4 weeks ago.
This year I am going to learn how to kayak, buy a dirtbike, and find someone to have more sex with.

Oh, I also spend a bit of time building houses or lounging in my hammock, drinking beer. Not Coors. I really do piss in their watershed.

I have a question to ask you all that think Paris is ugly..why do you think that? I think that she is gorgeous and has an amazing body. I can only dream about looking like her. Anyway, seeing her show her nipple isn't anything I haven't seen before. As much as I like her, I do think she is a whore..she should get a better life and a better boyfriend.

You cook? And where have YOU been all my life?

I love a guy who can cook, especially when I avoid it whenever possible.

bigponie, now you've reminded me (somehow) of that classic Tone Loc song, "Wild Thing"

..that's what happens when bodies start slappin' when doin' the wild thang...

Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who gets tunes in my head and it takes days (sometimes) for them to go away. Janice Joplin's "Bobby McGee" is THE. WORST. for that. If I ever go totally postal, it'll be because that song was on endless loop in my head.

#386, Paris Hilton's lifestyle is what prompts every remark. Where love may be blind, dislike or disgust with someone will allow you to find (or invent) every fault.

KnockoutXO21, Gisele Bunschen is gorgeous. Paris has a hook nose, doll hair and size 11 feet.

You know in the 6th picture she sorta looks like Jessica Simpson! I think overall she's tryin to resemble her...hence the hair style!!! It doesn't matter anyways, they're both dumb, ugly, bitches who occasionally look good but not too often, and with no talent whatsoever so keep on mimmicing!

BTW, is that a band-aid on her nipple?!?!

Oh yeah, and i need to clarify myself on the comment i made about the 6th picture...it's the 6th small picture. I wasn't counting the main picture for the article. I just wanted to set that straight cuz if you just glance at it without magnifying it...she looks alot like Jessica! yuck i just gagged again!

Ari; I cook Italian, Mexican, good ol American, Lebanese. I experiment a lot, and love making people enjoy the food. I hate doing the dishes though. I like having friends over for beers, cooking something awesome and just laughing and hanging out, good times.

Shit, does this sound like a friggin personals ad? I may have to get on another thread and rip someone a new ass in a minute, just to keep up appearances!

Last time i comment i promise...it's just that i got thru reading most of what everyone else wrote and well i'm just gonna ask....does she really have crabs or herpes or whatever cuz in one of the pics around her crotch i noticed a discoloration and i just thought it could be either a bad wax job or razor burn!

Does anyone know how tall she is and how much she weighs?

Wow. She's pretty ding dang disgusting. I'm not saying it to hate either. That sandy nipple band aide picture almost made me physically ill.

Da nigger I: Yes, she has herpes. If she had more crabs, she would have to keep an iceblock on her knees to keep them fresh, A pair of old underware she threw at gene simmons tested positive for syphilus, the foamy, cottage cheese like substance noted by #69 is chlamidia. She does not currently have AIDS, but she has a long-standing invitation to Rock Hudson to fuck her, man-style, not knowing he's dead.

Knock o: she is 6'2", and weighs 123 lbs, american, according to Better Homes and Gardens, February 19th, 2006

That is one bearded clam that needs to stay in the flippin ocean!

Hara - It is tape on her boob that you see. I modeled in my 20s...they are really free with tape and the breast area. That is to keep the nipple from puckering so it doesnt ruin the shot. I know I know, you guys like that!

They will also tape boobs up to be higher, and believe it or not...they will tape asses to make them higher, tighter, etc.

It was frightening to see the design assistants with that flippin tape roll. Just got nipple tremors thinking of rippin that stuff off. I think I have PTSD from it.

Pagan, luv ya, but please, give the ocean a rest, haven't we done enough?

Tranny

You are right, BUT if she has been in the ocean, I think we figured out the true reason for the overgrowth of microscopic critters commonly known as the "red tide".

So now I ask you, who is being cruel?

There once was an heiress named Paris
Whom nothing, it seems, could embarass
While she cooed, "That's hot,"
We saw this nip shot
And then she was run over by a logging truck

Pagan; Man that was funny shit, wanna get some coffe for I blow town? Bring hubby, I ain't much of a weirdo!

what is with the ugly 70's bathing suit?

Tranny - we could damned sure try. No promises...they got me working on a proposal now....so I am pulling some after hours as well.

Pleistocene LOL that was a good one!!

In honor of Asian-American History Month, a heartfelt haiku

Peaceful beach destroyed
Paris Hilton has the herp
Red Tide killing fish

You know that came from deep down, way deep down. I just need a moment to recompose myself.

Are we surprised her nipple was exposed? It's not a full day unless she's showing her baps at people.

#394, Tranny-- will you make me breakfast the next morning? I'll do the dishes.

Uh, if we don't break them all when we get crazy on the kitchen counters, that is...

Ari 383 - AOL eats asstube like Clay Aiken. I have them, I can't let them go, and I HATE Firefox (which is the ONLY way I can update my profile photos). If only I wasn't an aojunkie.

I feel like I'm a Greek shipping heir stuck pelvis-deep in Paris's g-hole gasping for air but still going for another dive. Why the fuck do I do this to myself?

I'm just too addicted to making I-Movies of my neighbors salving the schlong with their shades up. Speaking of which, can you pull up your kitchen sink shade about 6"? ;)

Poor Paris, once again the double sided tape has failed her. Her music seriously does suk,and she should slap her stylist for putting her in that horrible bathing suit! But I still think she's hot...even with her new little ponch.

She's definately not fat, but she has gained a shitload of weight since the first installment of the Simple Life. The world must be coming to an end, because I never thought that there would come a time that I would actually be thinner than Parasite Hilton.

#405 I like your haiku

I'm just really shocked she didn't opt for a bathing suit with way less coverage (Even with the new little belly; I don't think she's the shy type.)

As someone else noted, she's talking about her inflamed, disease-ridden hoo-ha when she's always saying, "That's hott!" I'll bet it is, honey --

camel toe.

It's really not so terribly exciting or suprising that Paris had a nip slip...her whole fame and fortune is based on the potential nip slip or pussy slip, really..

Man, she has some terribly disgusting legs and feet.

Oh, the riot.

Is that toilet paper sticking out of her stripper costume, err, bathing suit?

Paris better watch out that phtographer on the left looks like he might be Viet Cong.

Chad Lowe looks like more of a woman than Paris Scumton. Ugh. She has NO curves!

Last!

Fourhundred twentieth

that's hot...

blah blah blah

if anyone HASN'T seen her tits... I'd be surprised. every red-blooded american male wacked to her 'coming out' sex tape, so this shouldn't be new.

The most underwhelming and disgusting thing to ever happen to PH...whatever...

i wonder if that bathing suit caught HERPES from the hilton??

Wow. I've always dreamed of seeing Paris' tit's but I knew that I would never see them because of her high moral standards and extremely private lifestyle. I fear her reputation shall be ruined forevermore.

68, you made me laugh out loud with glee. Now my office is looking at me funny.

I bet Paris gets to guest judge on American Idol after her "album" comes out. Every contestant she'll just say "That's hot". Then maybe Simon will tell her off.

who makes the bathing suits though?????
honestly, theyre cute and i want them.

stincky leaky wet Hilton pussy is polluting the beach with the puddles of Herpes juice she leaves behind! Yuck!

They should call her Herpes Hilton