first?

silly ho

damn!

wow first AND you posted a story i submitted! outstanding.

wow. you can download a cell phone game? now i have something to take the place of uhm.. minesweeper?

the gameplay is probably you controlling paris as she runs around gobbling diamonds. she should have been gobbling cocks. then it wouldnt have mattered what the name was.

Hi, I am such an attention whore that I would let anyone use my name for a prise and then not even care to mention the correct name. BTW those are not teeth they are hepes sores.

looks like she lost the reception in her ear piece that was telling her what to say - that's why she didn't get the name right - Paris is incapable of extemporaneous speech and independent thought....but we knew that....

i assume the way you play the video game is to awkwardly hump the console until it gives you chlamydia. Then the console posts a videotape of it all on the internet.

Which is odd, because I've been doing that for awhile now.

I was switching stations the other night and came upon the last 5 minutes of "The Simple Life". Nicole was heavier and had ugly black extensions weaved in with ugly bleached hair. They were at a nudist camp and had to talk about what they loved about their bodies. Of course, Paris spoke in that slow valley girl drawl and said "I love my stomach, face,....." Nicole gave her an annoyed look and I guess this is when the wheels started rolling inside her head.

looks like she worked alot on that project

they just wanted her name on the product to sell, and she can't even get the name right

maybe her next game will be appropiately called " cockquest".

Paris is the Alchemist of the 21st Century:
Everything she touches turns to shit.

paris hilton is a genius boys, i won't have a bad word said against her. genius you hear

Paris Hilton's 'BrainQuest' would be impossible to win at .

lol does she think gamers are actually going to buy this

This is no big deal. I walked into McDonald's the other day, lost my train of thought, and ordered two brown pelicans, a bag of concrete, an 8-track of "Urban Cowboy", and a baby koala bear.
Shit happens when you're a genius.

The game should have been called herpesquest, the quest for the skank heiress of bel air.

"Paris Hiltons Jewel Jam" herpes included....

What exists in a perfect vacuum? Let's open her skull and find out! It would be doing science - and the world - a service.

Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam. The RPG experience of the year!

"Part 'Grand Theft Auto", part 'Countin' Cookies at Sesame Street'. Jewel Jam's rich, free-flowing club scenes sparkle!"
-GamePlayer Magazine

"Experience the thrills and spills of psuedo-celebrity in simple, understandable competitions involving shapes, colors and numbers! Outwit credit card officials, crash your daddy's car, sleaze your way past bouncers. Make sex tapes for extra $$$ or just 'hang' with your famous AI friends!"
-Gamebuzz.com

"Five out of Five stars! Jewel Jam delivers a non-stop action ride and challenges gamers to see if they have what it takes to leech off everybody for 120 hours of pure gaming thrills. Snort drugs like a maniac, make decisions about what shit products to endorse. Fuck everybody and everything in sight. Decide whether your character will play 'good' or 'evil'. Move over Tony Hawk, this is the *real* American Wasteland!"
-VideoHo Monthly

It hurts my head to think of how stupid she is

Hmmm i notced that there are no nice comments about any of these socialites. Is that because no-one posts any or because they are removed to give the impression that no-one likes them?

Perhaps i have wasted around 43 seconds writing this because this might not be posted either because i don't agree with the host of this websites views. God whatever happened to free speech!

#19- excellent!

#21- I'll bite: Aren't Paris' lesions looking lovely today??

Actually no comments are removed, just no one here likes Paris Hilton.

Well i think Paris is great! So what if she's rich and beautiful and boasts about it! I know i would if i looked that good!

I could see where people are coming from if she was really ugly and going around saying "I'm hot, i love my face, my body etc etc" but she is hot!

This game will finally answer the age-old question: how many damage points does it take for an orc to kill a slut?

Is the goal of her video game to fish out the usded condoms burried deep in her Std ridden snatch?

Dear god I hope at least one of the std's she has leaves her sterile. I cannot handle the thought of her reproducing.

Heard that the premise of CockQuest is rather simple: As a two-player game, one player is Herpes Hilton and the other is Tom Cruise. They advance through varying levels of difficulty in a great pursuit of cock.

#24 you scare me. You're prez of her fan club aren't you?

She has a fan club? Actually i wasn't aware of that, but now that i am, i'll consider joining. Thanks Znuffy

...and they call her HookNose Magee.

And in related news, the makers of "Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam" have officially renamed the game to "Diamondquest". The game's Executive Producer Paris Hilton is quoted as saying "I like Diamondquest, it's hot."

And it looks like xannalvshallax is Sherry-co but in Paris worship mode.

#24 People who look/act like Paris used to be exposed at birth. Back when society worked. Try these sites:

http://www.absolutely.net/Paris_Hilton/link.htm

Lotsa places to talk about how groovy that silly piece of shit is!

#24 I bet you are the real Paris Hilton! It's the only way to explain that you "like" this useless publicity whore. Either that or you've had a labotomy.

Actually, "cock jam" would be the most appropriate name, given how many of them she's always trying to cram into her various orifices.

Oh My Gaw Dr.Rokter please do NOT encourage retarded people to play on the computer.

I rescind my comment about xannalvshallax.

Definitely not Sherry-co. xanna is a total fucking whack job with complete celebrity worship. This site was designed for the likes of her. Because she's ugly and all the celebs are beautiful.

#30 maybe people would like Paris more if she was smart, or talented, or nice for all I care. But the reality is, she's not really any of these things. For fucks sake she can't even make a good porn tape.

Have any of you played Paris Hilton's "My Vagina Will Kill any Living Thing on the Planet, even Roaches"? It's great in hi-def.

#36 Why, exactly, are you picking on me? Is it my cologne?

And tell your mom to stop calling me.

I wish she would have called in Blister Attack- or Sore Score ot Herpes Invaders or How many tootsie rolls can you stick in my vagina

that explains everything...

her brain is right below her vagina and her poop chute is that hole in the front of her head.

Oh no, is xannalvshallax the new

He Who Must Not Be Named?

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/sohall/HeWhoMustNotBeNamed.jpg

'Cos, you know, Paris would totally pull a three-syllable word like "gravity" out of thin air. Not even if it were printed all-caps on cue cards, toots.

Oh, yeah...

FIRST!

xannalvshallax if there isn't a fan club, I'm sure you and your room full of posters of Paris will make a great meeting place for it.

Paris Hilton would never call *anything* "Gravity Shapes" because she doesn't know what gravity is: "Is that a kind of STD? I don't think I have that one! Yippee!"

this reminds me of the unaired episode of "The Simple Life" season 1 - "The cock coop" in which the cameraman trips while trying to keep up with a jubilant Miss Hilton, running towards the family farmhouse, only to catch up, showing a shot of young Paris sitting in the middle of the coop, a confused "where's my panties" expression on her face, plucking a feather from the corner of her mouth. Don't get it? PARIS LOVES COCK SWALLOWING... (paid for by PETA, Inc.)

"LABIA BOIL INVADERS"!!

OKAY SHE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY IS A.....

Okay, I won't pos tthe song, you know it by now, but she's really stupid. That's what you get from not haivng to use your brain or work your whole life.

Please don't feed the troll.

They should call the game "Dirty Ho Jam" where you follow her around from club to club and see how many bathroom blowjobs and back seat sex romps you can get her to do. How many people you infect with herpes scores you extra points.

She'll whore out her name and image to anyone or anything regardless of how stupid it is.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/05/01/paris_hilton_promotes_sparklin.html

Her OTHER video game involves a cute orange HERPES SORE jumping around on a 3D Paris Vagina!

The trick is too avoid the her OTHER deadly VD strains.
See Here:

http://www.thelogbook.com/artwork/dec99/q-notalk.jpg

I want to meet the people, no wait, actually I NEVER want to meet the people who actually buy the products she promotes! I mean who, what ??????

The only game you can play that will give your joystick herpes.

When you get Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson to be your spokesperson, what would you expect? They screw up the names of your game or the jeans they really like to wear (shrug)

Jewel Jam? Did this name conjure up images of David Cross slathered in "Diamond Creme" for anyone else but me? No?

Anyhow, how the fuck is she supposed to remember what the fuck it is she's hawking in between blowjobs? All that sucking can really take it out of a girl! And besides, doesn't syphilis start to make one lose it? Tiny pupils? Forgetfulness? General asshattery? Not coke...nope. It's tertiary syphilis.

You would think people who like her (enough to buy something she's selling) would fear technology. You know, like fire, ziplock bags and twist-ties?

Ok people it's the same damn thing right? Jewel Jam, Diamondquest, what's the difference? She only has roam in her brain for one thing at a time, ok?

What is up with her eyes? they look like she has white circles around them and almost like someone stretched the skin around them tightly. Maybe she just got done with a few botox shots? And those lips, she has a pencil thin upper lip and a big fat lower lip.

Here is the video of her at this expo where she says the wrong name of her game

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YniD_I9L4iI

Today a video game, tomorrow, Paris for President.............okay, now I'm sick to my stomach....

Today a video game, tomorrow, Paris for President.............okay, now I'm sick to my stomach....

#43

You have way too much time to kill where ever you are...so do I apparently cause I was laughing for an hour

Oh. give her a break, She wouldn't be Paris Hilton is she actually got the name RIGHT.

#58, surely she could use the help of a good analrapist. or has she been downing forget-me-nows? either way,

phltv.

It is obvious just like Al Capone died due to complications of syphilis, he died from mental inertia just like Paris Hilton has, it is just a matter of time before syphilis deteriorates her brain - one can only hope at this point.

You can't really blame her - she has a lot of things to remember i.e. breathe in then breathe out, right foot forward then left foot forward, her name, up and down on cock etc etc

Oh, Paris Hilton...we need to get her on a fast moving bus filled with tipsy models.

I'm sure hilarity will ensue.

I just saw the video: her parents must be so proud! My 4 yers old son can articulate more words that she can. what a waste of--- everything.

paris hilton: 'tamponquest'
attempt to discover the tampon in the vast concavity that is paris hilton's vagina! dodge such obstacles as herpes sores and crabs! fight off the evil greek spermatozoa!
WARNING: this game is extremely advanced. it is near to impossible to find even a superplusmegauber tampon in the black hole of paris' vag.

What a stupid fucking whore. I want to kick her teeth in.

@52-

Ooh, now maybe we can get "He Who Must Not Be Named" BANNED for good. He is SO reported.

The people who made that game must be so pissed that she can't even get the name right! LOL!!! I'm sure they spent a whole lotta money getting her naming rights and actually getting her to show up there, too. Is she ever gonna fade away? PLEASE let her fall off the face of the earth!

Funny thing, I thought her vagina was already featured in a game were space marines faced the legions of hell while trying to escape their ultimate fate, it's called: DOOM.

#64
You are correcto-mundo. I am wasting time at work because I have absolutely nothing to do.

Plus I like to make myself laugh. It's so awesome. I'm glad I made someone else laugh too.

silly stupid b*tch, ...
buy an island with all the money you're making off gullible suckers and go live there... just go away.

I think she should go en route ashley "non-talented" simpson and get a nose job. And a vaginal reconstruction as well, while she's at it. I mean, do you know how loose and gigantic her pussy must be by now? It's like an overstretched rubberband. Except it's a vagina.

Howdy folks!

I haven't read this thread at all, so I'm just going to submit this for your approval blind:

If Paris had as many dicks sticking out of her, as she had stuck in her, she'd look like a porcipine.

*takes shot*

The surprise hits at this year's game convention:

"Paris Hilton's 'Call to Duty 3: Valtrex Rising'"

"Paris Hilton's 'World of Whorecraft'"

"Paris Hilton's 'AHOL 2'" -- in this version, you can play the white blood cells or the virii.

"Paris Hilton's 'Fumunda & Hurl'"

I was driving down the freeway yesterday, and I thought, huh, this tunnel is long and dark, then I realised I accidentally drove into Paris' vagina. I honked my horn for 45 minutes before the car behind me backed up so I could escape.

True Story.

you honked your horn for 45 minutes because that is how long it took for the first echo to bounce back and be heard!

And she has manhands. So what with the nose, ,lazy eye, herpes and all, you'd wonder how much cock she's actually getting. Less than TC I'd bet.

Another example of trash with cash. Just grab your can o' sparkling wine and play Jewel Jammed up her vagina and dang - what is better on a Friday night?

Remember - you get 5 extra points for each valtrex pill you run over and a new victim for each tube of zoverax (sp) cream. Now that my friends, is excitement.

Pass the flippin cheetos - goes good with the can o' sparklin wine.

Paris, the next time your valtrex withdrawl kicks in, and you need another name :

Jizz Journey
Cock Crawl
Queeb Quest
Wong Walk
Schlong Seek
Cum Cruise
Sack Search

...

Superficial you're right! I'm glad that she wasn't there to promote Tetris too...her entrance would've been like:

"Hi everyone, sorry I'm late...but my herpes were flaring up! I'm really excited to introduce my new game that ALOT of people already know about...Hepatitis...I mean...Yeah, no that's right...Hepatitis!"

"Gravity shapes"? I don't think so. Does Paris know what gravity is? I don't think so. I'm almost inclined to think that she'd stuggle with identifying something as a shape.

PARIS HAS WARTS.

GENTIAL WARTS THAT IS

#37 - U wish i was ugly :P But unfortunatly for you i'm not but i'll guess you'll never know that because you'll never see me - Thank god, i get the vibe your a devil worshipping person of monstrosity who wears black. A lot. Yawwwn

Hey #87, I scrolled down with the intention of saying just that; "Does Paris know what gravity is?"

#14, your question began; "does she think...". Stop at that, and the answer is no. Nice and simple. (OWMAJGAWD Like the name of the show)

Stupid people, especially those with herpes, should not be allowed to play videogames.

Actually video games is probably a good idea for people with herpes, as long as they are not inserting the joysticks anywhere they shouldn't be.

Does anyone know where I can buy a copy of Paris Hilton's HerpeQuest? I know a handicapped kid that would just love it.

CrabQuest: The Invasion should be out this Summer, that maybe more fun than HerpesQuest. You know, the gift that keeps on giving and all.

Just remember that as you slave away for 45 hours a week for some goddamn asshole just to make your monthly nut.

This silly bitch gets to have her own video game, but she can't even remember the NAME during the 12 seconds she shows up to announce it at the year's biggest trade show.

Punch in. Smile and dial. Hustle for tips. Take the overtime.

"Diamondquest..."

Damn.

I'm glad she's not self concious about her lazy eye...or her sex tape.

her hands look a little dry an chapped, probably from vigorously flogging Greek shipping heir cock.

#85--"sack search" FABULOUS LOL.

at first i didn't believe this story? paris at e3?? sounds goofy. does she even know what e3 is? so i had to ask my friend who was actually there and story does check out...she was there. i am still in shock!

Is it me, or does she look like a wax figure straight out of Madame Toussaud's? What a whore...

okay so why is she so over-the-top famous?

shes so fucking dumb.. ugh she pisses me off.