May 04, 2006
Britney Spears doesn't trust Kevin Federline
Britney Spears has allegedly hired a bodyguard to keep on eye on Kevin Federline and make sure he doesn't misbehave when he goes out. An insider tells In Touch magazine:
“The last thing Britney wants to do is accompany Kevin on all his club dates,” an “insider” told the mag. “That’s why she hired a babysitter — a person who will keep Kevin from misbehaving and report directly back to her.”The move reportedly came after one of Spears’ most trusted security guys, an ex-CIA agent named Richard, quit because of Federline’s partying. “Richard is a straitlaced guy, and he was upset with Kevin’s behavior,” a “pal” told the mag. Spears eventually convinced Richard to return — after promising to do something about her partying hubby. “I’ll take care of the Kevin situation,” she allegedly promised, “if you take care of me.”
Federline was not thrilled about having the round-the-clock sitter, says the mag, but “Britney told him it wasn’t up for negotiation.”
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have the kind of relationship I imagine Dr. Phil and Oprah to have. Where Dr. Phil pretends to speak his mind, but knows deep down in his heart that Oprah owns his soul. Kevin should just be glad he isn't forced to wear a leash and is allowed to pee without asking permission first.
Previous Entries
» Tom Cruise changes the law» Britney Spears is having a girl
» Celine Dion breaks own ears
» Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes get a prenup
» Kevin Federline reveals all
Comments
1. Posted by Lindz_Blowhan on May 4, 2006 11:46 AM
popozao has a sitter! how cute.
2. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on May 4, 2006 11:46 AM
FIRST! GO BRITNEY! Beat that SOB into submission!
3. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 11:47 AM
Being that we’re so often talking about whores on this site, I am curious to know the level of whoring that our posters engage in. Therefore, I am asking all females (no trannies) to answer the following questions:
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
2. How many men have you slept with?
3. How many women?
4. Ever done anal?
5. If yes to #4, did you like it?
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex?
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy?
4. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on May 4, 2006 11:47 AM
Damn.
5. Posted by SuperSpence on May 4, 2006 11:47 AM
"Kevin should just be glad he isn't forced to wear a leash and is allowed to pee without asking permission first."
REPLY: Assuming an awful lot, aren't you? How do we know that isn't how it is? I wouldn't allow that guy to take a leak without permission. He'd head straight for the nearest potted plant or sink.
6. Posted by Digypoke on May 4, 2006 11:48 AM
Why? it had said to him that it would remain beautiful and thin all its life? what a lying!
http://bilybop.free.fr
7. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on May 4, 2006 11:48 AM
That's weird. They have this new thing where you can't post immediately after you've posted, you've got to wait "a short time". Something about an effort to curb "abusive posts". How that's going to work, beats me.
8. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 11:49 AM
And I thought I was whipped.
9. Posted by Derek Hail on May 4, 2006 11:50 AM
In this particular case, the picture they posted on the last KFED post this one:
http://www.derekhail.com/2006/05/04/britney-spears-hires-babysitter-for-kfed/
Works the best with the following caption -
"Britney, I aint need no baby sitta. I'm gangsta."
Or maybe, if hes not gangster enough, he could talk about how he use to shoot at people as a kid to promote his rap album.
I can't decide if KFED is trying to be the polar opposite of eminem or not. Eminem did what he wanted when he wanted. KFED has to answer to Britney. How will anyone take him seriously?
10. Posted by Providentius on May 4, 2006 11:51 AM
I'm sorry, but is this woman retarded? I mean, till death do us part is all well and good, but COME ON! You are wasting your life with this douche!
11. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 11:51 AM
Maybe Tom Cruise will dress up like Mrs. Doubtfire and look after him.
12. Posted by MiamiGoldenPantherr on May 4, 2006 11:51 AM
#3 Do you really think any woman will answer those silly questions?
AS FOR KEVIN, HE IS S PARASITE, I CANT BELIEVE SHE S WASTING MONEY ON THAT PIECE OF SHIT LOSER.
13. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 11:52 AM
#12:
Certainly not an ugly one like you.
14. Posted by BarbadoSlim on May 4, 2006 11:53 AM
Doesn't the CIA teach its operatives to kill a man with like...I don't know, a Tampon?
She's not getting her money's worth.
15. Posted by djyuckfou on May 4, 2006 11:54 AM
another proud moment in there relationship..talk about beating a dead horse!
16. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on May 4, 2006 11:54 AM
Why doesn't she just get rid of him? What an embarrassment he is. I know she's pregnant again, but having him around as a "father" isn't exactly going to beneficial to their babies' lives. Little Sean Preston is going to grow up to be as much of an ass as his dad.
And Britney, can we talk? If you KNOW your husband is an untrustworthy, scuzzy loser, WHY, oh WHY, are you still having sex with him? And if you choose to have sex with him, be RESPONSIBLE to the next generation and get on birth control!
But this IS Britney we're talking about, and she's not exactly the picture of responsibility. *sigh*
17. Posted by Italian Stallion on May 4, 2006 11:55 AM
I hope her plan backfires and he falls in love with Costner..........
18. Posted by playahater101 on May 4, 2006 11:57 AM
#3 to answer your questions, 1)18 2)6, 3)0 4)tried it once, it hurt too bad 5)never did it 6)yes 7)no. I'm boring. Maybe I'm just a normal woman :)
I think Brit is actually smart to do that. There must be a good reason. I'm sure he's screwed around with a whole lotta girls without her knowing and I'm sure he's drinking, snorting, smoking whatever anyone hands him. He obviously can't be trusted. She needs to protect herself and her money before it's all gone.
19. Posted by playahater101 on May 4, 2006 11:58 AM
Then again, if she needs to hire someone to have him watched, then she needs to rethink this whole marriage. Trust is a big part of being married.
20. Posted by Lala on May 4, 2006 11:59 AM
She can't hold onto her baby...She can't hold onto her husband...She can't hold onto her figure...She can't hold onto that tiny shred of dignity she has left...the list goes on and on!
21. Posted by PocketRocket on May 4, 2006 11:59 AM
When will these inbred, mouth-breathing Swamp Rats run out of money? Maybe then they'll be out of the limelight
Tom Cruise Loves Cajun Cock
22. Posted by Lindz_Blowhan on May 4, 2006 12:01 PM
#11, almost spit my coffee! tc would feel right at home in women's clothes....hell, he's probably all over Katie's maternity wear.
23. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 12:03 PM
Thanks, #22, now if you will please answer the questions in #3 for me...
24. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on May 4, 2006 12:04 PM
#22,
He's also probably trying to breastfeed. I've heard that if you try really really hard stimulating the nipple, after a long time, you can actually produce milk, even if you haven't had a baby. No joke. It's in my "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book I got when I was pregnant.
25. Posted by pinky_nip on May 4, 2006 12:04 PM
@8 BigJim: I thought you enjoyed the whipping last night?
P.S. 15/many/5/yes/yes/yes... oh yes!!!!
26. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on May 4, 2006 12:05 PM
Let me get this straight - Britney employs an ex-CIA agent? No wonder the intel on Iraq was off base if this is the quality hires the CIA is making. How can this guy look at himself in the mirror every morning? How can he not draw his razor across his throat in disgust? Once a defender of America, of the free world, and now reduced to babysitting K-Fag?? On the next 24, Special Agent Jack Bauer plays nanny to Bobby Brown.
27. Posted by missscoobie on May 4, 2006 12:06 PM
Tom loves the hickory smoked cock too.
as far as brittany goes, I'm sorry, she's asking for it people.
any sympathy I had for this peckerwood has dried up like paris hilton's twat.
28. Posted by St.Minutia on May 4, 2006 12:07 PM
Britney is at least as retarded as k-fed. I am 100% behind any decision that will ensure the end britney's career. Team Spears-Federline!
Just as long as there are NO MORE statues of her giving birth. Please?
29. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 12:08 PM
#12, see #18 & 25 (and I'm sure there will be more.
Nyah, Nyah! Fatty!
30. Posted by Lindz_Blowhan on May 4, 2006 12:09 PM
If you must know......
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 18
2. How many men have you slept with? 14
3. How many women? 0
4. Ever done anal? yes
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? perhaps
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? yes
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? silly rabbit
31. Posted by 86 on May 4, 2006 12:12 PM
Duuuude. How can he still get it up? He's practically a woman.
32. Posted by BarbadoSlim on May 4, 2006 12:12 PM
Diary of a retired CIA agent entry:
All I remember was this, he had been standing on top of that Maserati, Po po Popozao PO PO POPO ZAO, POPO ZAO again and again and again, next thing I knew, I had broken his neck...now I live in Burma.
33. Posted by pinky_nip on May 4, 2006 12:12 PM
I've been looking to change careers... I think I would actually love to be K-fag's babysitter and scold him whenever he fucks up. Maybe I could put on one of those dog collars and zap his ass when he gets out of line.
I've got to go update my resume.
34. Posted by tinkerbelle on May 4, 2006 12:12 PM
britney has absent-daddy and controlling-mommy issues. she'll repeat this scenario the rest of her life. byeeeeeeeeee!!
35. Posted by tinkerbelle on May 4, 2006 12:14 PM
#32 - haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! great!!! I luv BarbadoSlim.
36. Posted by Binky on May 4, 2006 12:14 PM
I think # 3 should answer his own questions before asking others to.
(Of course the answer to the first is likely 'still waiting' so I suppose that excludes the others.)
37. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:18 PM
No kidding... how about a bodyguard for the babies??? (To protect them against K-Brit)
38. Posted by pinky_nip on May 4, 2006 12:20 PM
Oh yeah! Lameassbananas just posted! "It's" posts make me feel like I'm watching the Special Olympics Open-Mic Night!!
Hooray!
39. Posted by Gerald Tarrant on May 4, 2006 12:20 PM
I'll go play babysitter for this tool.
Me: What do you want?
7 year old fan: An autograph.
Me: Get lost kid, you are too much of a risk.
*later*
Me: What do you want?
30 year old guy: To stab K-Fed and piss on his body.
Me: Whoops, sorry Kev, that one slipped pas me.
40. Posted by Dr.Rokter on May 4, 2006 12:21 PM
BigJim:
I found you. You can't hide.
http://www.bachelorettepartystripper.com/
41. Posted by djyuckfou on May 4, 2006 12:22 PM
poor k-fed having such a dumb bitch for a wife
42. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 12:29 PM
Okay, Binky, but it's nothing too exciting, I'm afraid:
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16
2. How many men have you slept with? None -- I'm a hetero guy
3. How many women? 9, and I've been with #9 for 17 years.
4. Ever done anal? Nope, neither given nor received.
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? N/A
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? No, the wife won't go for it.
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? Also, N/A
43. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 12:31 PM
#40:
I wish I was as cool as that guy. Having chicks pay me to strip, that would be awesome. I'm flattered you thought it was me.
44. Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 4, 2006 12:32 PM
I wish Brittany would allow me to babysit him for just one day. I'd make him watch re-runs of Full House, Charles in Charge, Seinfeld, Hee-Haw, Threes Company, Bosum Buddies, The Brady Bunch, and ALF. I would force the whiteness back into him with lessons in grammer, etiquette, and fashion. I would make him say the word "nigger" in front of a high school football team. He would eat sushi, drink red wine, and shake hands, rather than "give dap" or "pound it". I would make him shave that fucking crustache on his lip and clean up the Joe Dirt white-trash beard. He could not interact with black people, except for the football team beating him up. I would make him drive a Yugo and wear slacks and a Polo shirt with a sweater draped over his shoulder. And right when he starts to act normal, I'd kick him in the nuts and call him whitey.
45. Posted by Lou on May 4, 2006 12:32 PM
# 3 I'm game but you will have to answer questions 1-6 yourself first. Feel free substitute appropriate genders.
Additional queries
7. Have you ever touched yourself at work?
8. If yes to #7 were you caught?
9. Aren't you Canadian?
10. If yes to 10 have you ever had sex in a mounty hat?
46. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:32 PM
pinky_nip: Why don't you grow up?! I didn't do anything to you and you don't know me..... and since
*****I know I'm better than you*****
I'll leave it at that.
47. Posted by asmith on May 4, 2006 12:33 PM
She doesn't trust her own husband?? SHOCKER!
48. Posted by Binky on May 4, 2006 12:33 PM
# 40 and #42
What the 'h' was I thinking !?!
Yikes - Too Much Info !!!! I need another coffee!!
49. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:35 PM
Don't spit on me and shame yourself
Because you wish you were someone else
You look so clean but you spread your dirt
As if think that words don't hurt
You build up walls no one can climb
The things you do should be a crime
You're idiot of superficiality
Keep your lies out of my reality
And when you're nice it's just a pose
You're one of those HATERS
EVERYTIME CHILDREN WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT ME THAT IS UNTRUE BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL... I'M GOING TO POST THIS. YES, IT WILL GET ANNOYING, BUT SO IS IMMATURITY.
50. Posted by Dr.Rokter on May 4, 2006 12:40 PM
Muddy Sludge
Crusty Bun
Shrimp Boat Tandoori
Mother-in-Law
Up Country 'tis of thee
This is my destiny
EVERY TIME CHILDREN MAKE ME SAD BY FUCKING WITH MY MIND I'M GOING TO POST CONCEPTUAL POETRY AND HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL I PASS OUT AND BREAK MY NOSE ON THE T.V. TABLE. THIS WILL DEMONSTRATE THAT I AM A GROWNUP.
51. Posted by pinky_nip on May 4, 2006 12:44 PM
@49: For once you & I agree... you're annoying.
52. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:45 PM
Here's pinky_nip:
http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/rids/20060503/i/ra3638003344.jpg?x=380&y=301&sig=.3TDMwGz1f4iLs48k3jM5w--
53. Posted by Italian Stallion on May 4, 2006 12:49 PM
@49 We have a new MEGANHARRIS everyone and this one is just as fucking stupid....
EVERYTIME HILARIOUS PEOPLE WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT ME THAT IS SO TRUE I'LL BLOW TOM CRUISE AT THE MALL...I WILL DO THIS. YES I'M ANNOYING BUT SO IS MY FACE.......
54. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:51 PM
Okay, not you are just being stupid... you have no idea about my person, yet you make comments about my... that makes you an idiot.
Introverted haters.
pinky_nip (after he ate Italian Stallion):
http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/rids/20060503/i/ra3638003344.jpg?x=380&y=301&sig=.3TDMwGz1f4iLs48k3jM5w--
55. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:52 PM
I find you annoying and your face is too, so were even (to stoop down to the children's level).
Do you understand that... or smaller words?
56. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:54 PM
Anyone who uses the "f" word if stupider than a house fly... you show ignorance and can't ever hide it.
Kind of like the huge mole on your face (see, dosen't make sence because I don't know you!!) But, you probably don't understand that, so, wasted logic.
57. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 12:55 PM
Now, I'm changing my screen name so you childish folks know even less.
58. Posted by MeganHarris on May 4, 2006 12:58 PM
Ugh GOD Kfed is annoying! i was hoping the announcement was the new baby is not his, and he's going to go back to being a back up dancer.
59. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 01:00 PM
Oh, that would be an awesome announcement!! I really don't like k-ed... he's bringing Britney down.
60. Posted by suzy on May 4, 2006 01:05 PM
ok, when you need to hire a babysitter for your husband... your marriage is over
that's just fucking pathetic
61. Posted by Lou on May 4, 2006 01:05 PM
#59 what's bringing Britney down is her huge ass.
62. Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 4, 2006 01:07 PM
@ 58
MeganHarris, was that really you in that picture posted this morning and yesterday?
Because if it was, you are the either the ugliest woman I have ever seen, or the prettiest water buffalo I have ever seen.
63. Posted by jess[hearts]you on May 4, 2006 01:08 PM
she cant trust him yet she's over here popping out his babies... wow, good job britney, you get three golden stickers
64. Posted by krisdylee on May 4, 2006 01:08 PM
I'll answer BigJim's questions on behalf of lambanas:
"I was 9 when I lost my cherry, I've been with 634 men, and one woman (my cousin Sally, who deflowered me at the tender age of 9)I love anal, especially with giant dildos greased up with butter, I always videotape it, to prove to my friends that I do indeed get laid, and each tape you order is 19.95, although for you BigJim, I'll do a two for one deal. One time only.."
65. Posted by mamacita on May 4, 2006 01:08 PM
lambananas, are you serious? Let me explain something to you. Changing your screen name will not help because your stupidity is such that it cannot be disguised by a mere screen name. It will show itself no matter what you do to hide it. Also, changing your screen name because you can't take the beating you receive every time you open your piehole is the height of immaturity. I'm just sayin'.
P.S.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
66. Posted by krisdylee on May 4, 2006 01:11 PM
mamacita, you delicious cunty bitch, I have missed you soooo much.
67. Posted by krisdylee on May 4, 2006 01:12 PM
Lambananas:
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo you and the horse you rode in on...
68. Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 4, 2006 01:19 PM
krisdylee, krisdylee
a name so nice I had to say it twice.
lambananas, lambananas,
a name so ridiculous I had to pray that you got hit by a bus, twice, just to be sure you died.
69. Posted by booface on May 4, 2006 01:19 PM
#40
That is some funny shit. BigJim you have been exposed!
70. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on May 4, 2006 01:20 PM
YAY, Dr. Rockter, that was way fun.
And krisdylee, nicely done. Nicely done.
P.S.
Lambananas, I thought it was just a typo to first time, then I started to doubt it when I kept on seeing it happen. It's DOESN'T, not dosen't. Spelling phonetically just doesn't (HA) cut it all the time. The English language can be a confusing bitch, huh?
P.P.S.
Don't quit your dayjob. Your poems are effing ridiculous.
71. Posted by booface on May 4, 2006 01:20 PM
Papa, What are you talking about? I thought MeganHarris looked like Kirsten Dunst in that picture.
72. Posted by Italian Stallion on May 4, 2006 01:23 PM
Mamacita, according to #56 we are showing our ignorance so I just put my FUCKING dick away.......
Lambananas, why must you keep showing this picture of yourself, it wasn't funny the first fucking five times, so he has one big testicle, big deal.......
If you change your screen name thats cool I'll just look for the 20 lame posts you always seem to write, really what you need to do is change websites......SHUT YOUR MANPLEASER, I can smell asshole and it's not becoming........
73. Posted by TaiTai on May 4, 2006 01:24 PM
Wait a minute people, let's focus for a second. The real story here is that after a distinguished government career in the CIA, you have a second career to look forward to....as Kevin Federline's babysitter! Geez, public service is a bitch.
74. Posted by booface on May 4, 2006 01:29 PM
PapaNutThack, I found you on myspace.
I'm on my way to the airport now. I'm stalking you!
75. Posted by purplepuppy on May 4, 2006 01:32 PM
If that's the way you need to conduct your life, then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MARRIED TO HIM!!!!! Why the F**K do you stay with him if you think/know he going to act like a sleaze-bag the second you let him out or your sight. You are a dumb c**t-bag Britney, no wonder he thinks he can get away with murder. He can party, spend your money, leech off of what's left of your fame, pay attention to the kids when he feels like it, etc., etc. and you keep him around. It's your own damn fault, get a brain and backbone moron!
76. Posted by mamacita on May 4, 2006 01:42 PM
@66
Sorry, krisdylee. I've been really busy being deliciously cunty.
77. Posted by Kbartender on May 4, 2006 01:51 PM
Yay this is fun!
1. 19
2. 4
3. 0
4. Yes
5. You betcha
6. Yes
7. I don't have the tape :(
78. Posted by pinky_nip on May 4, 2006 01:57 PM
Lameassbananas: don't fucking fuck with me. You've been blasted by the cool kids.
Run along now and go tell your mommy, you fucking tattle tail.
Fuck you.
79. Posted by booface on May 4, 2006 02:10 PM
#66
"Deliciously cunty bitch." I love it love it LOVE it!! What an honor.
80. Posted by gogoboots on May 4, 2006 02:14 PM
You mean "is not allowed to pee without asking for permission first". Anyway, HAHA! K-Fed the mega-loser is being baby-sat. Why waste the extra money and time B, just let him go?!
81. Posted by MeganHarris on May 4, 2006 02:19 PM
Yes. The Avatar image is me.
82. Posted by dark on May 4, 2006 02:21 PM
Since the last babysitter they had put a nice big crack in Sean P's head, maybe the new one will do the same for K-Fed.
83. Posted by Spindoc on May 4, 2006 02:34 PM
If we can all be serious for a second.....I have something to say to Britney.
You dumb fucking twat. If you don't trust him, dump him. Is that too tough for you to figure out shithead?
OK, I'm through being serious. Oh, but if anybody sees Tom Cruise, could you tell him I think I left my class ring somewhere and could he get it back to me next time he takes a dump?
84. Posted by gossipmonger on May 4, 2006 02:40 PM
http://www.myspace.com/mmateo
This is MeganHarris' myspace... for real.. linked from his own blogspot even...
So I still dont understand why a guy would continuously pretend to be female, and yet make it so easy to find out the truth...
just wonderin'...
85. Posted by TwiztidTeenWolf on May 4, 2006 02:42 PM
BigJim,
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 14
2. How many men have you slept with? 6
3. How many women? 1
4. Ever done anal? No
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? N/A
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? No
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? No
lmfao.
86. Posted by Jacq on May 4, 2006 02:49 PM
#76 - That sounds like something Hannibal Lecter would say, but I DEFINITELY think it's a compliment of the highest regard.
87. Posted by Italian Stallion on May 4, 2006 02:54 PM
@81 MEGANHARRIS what about the one in the Britney thread that shows you getting an award for scaring away the groundhog and getting us a extra 6 week's of winter......By the way thanks for that dickface.........
88. Posted by DuckBoy on May 4, 2006 02:59 PM
They look so nice in that picture. Good luck to them, and I don't believe everything I read in the tabloids or on this site.
89. Posted by BigJim on May 4, 2006 03:37 PM
My sincerest thanks to all who completed the survey (krisdylee, I would be far more interested to read about your responses, that those of the loser, fuckwit, inbred jerkoff lamebananauphisass).
I now have some fresh masturbation material.
90. Posted by krisdylee on May 4, 2006 03:58 PM
Just 4 U, BigBoyJim,
I was 18, ironically to a guy I used to call my "Italian Stallion" (no shit), I am not sure how many guys, around 17... is that high or low??? No women, :( but does it count that I would if I could??? Does that constitute cheating on my husband??? Anal, nope... other stuff, oh, yes indeedy. (ie, sex in public, the odd spanking, blindfolds, etc..) Video, I'd love to.... now that the Flames are out, you should make one of your own and then we'll swap...
91. Posted by TaftHartley on May 4, 2006 03:59 PM
NOTICE:
LAMBABANAS has changed its sign in name to
LAMEANDANASS
...By mistake
92. Posted by Just Jules on May 4, 2006 04:21 PM
Divorce looms on the horizon. I wonder if Britney was smart enough to get a water-tight prenup signed before she married this goldigging loser.
93. Posted by lomies on May 4, 2006 04:24 PM
was this supposed to be her big announcement?
94. Posted by Karen Rani on May 4, 2006 04:52 PM
There is no way those two clowns are going to make it.
95. Posted by mamadough on May 4, 2006 05:00 PM
hey, what thread was MEGANHARRIS's pic in?
and in case anyone gives a shit...
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16
2. How many men have you slept with? 3, currently going to get married to #3
3. How many women? 0
4. Ever done anal? nope
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? NA
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex?not yet, saving that for the honeymoon
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? hahahaha, no :|
96. Posted by ebayfan414 on May 4, 2006 06:19 PM
I heard that Britney makes Kevin pay a dollar every time he wants to use the john.
97. Posted by cibby on May 4, 2006 06:37 PM
can't wait for K-Fed's album to be released, so it can be scorned...
98. Posted by Fa Cube Itches on May 4, 2006 06:59 PM
Just more proof that Britney's a 'tard. I guess she hasn't been paying attention to the CIA's track record for the last two decades:
1. Fall of Berlin Wall? Nope, didn't predict that.
2. Fall of Soviet Union? Nope, didn't predict that.
3. Fall of Shah of Iran? Nope, didn't predict that.
4. Rise of al-Qaida and other muslim extremist groups? Nope, didn't predict that.
These guys have blown it more than Tom Cruise in the last 20. Even as dumb as K-Fed is, he'll probably be able to impregnate at least half of the strippers in North America before the CIA gets wind of it. Assuming, of course, that he invites Richard in, explains exactly what he's doing during the act and sends videotapes after. If he actually tries to hide it, the guy will never find out.
99. Posted by Iambananas on May 4, 2006 07:09 PM
Then I'll take your mother Dorthy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.
100. Posted by TrannyGranny on May 4, 2006 09:08 PM
I love quizzes!
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17... the same night I kissed a girl for the first time
2. How many men have you slept with? Just LandMan, and he cried like a little girl
3. How many women? 16, and I'm gonna bang the chick that runs the front desk before I check out.
4. Ever done anal? yes.
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? doesn't feel as good as the ol'hoo hoo
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? still photos
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? No, fuckbag, we erased it!
7. Have you ever touched yourself at work? I'm touching myself now
8. If yes to #7 were you caught? I'm in the lobby
9. Aren't you Canadian?no, but my dad was. he managed to escape.
10. If yes to 10 have you ever had sex in a mounty hat? No. but I have had sex WITH a mounty hat.
101. Posted by Sweetsens8tion on May 4, 2006 09:08 PM
E!News reported tonight that Britany called for a press conference yesterday in LA. A whole room of reporters assembled today to hear what she had to say...and she was a NO SHOW.
102. Posted by Sweetsens8tion on May 4, 2006 09:09 PM
They also confirmed that she had an ultra sound done today and she is having a girl. And was out shopping in LA for all things PINK.
103. Posted by TrannyGranny on May 4, 2006 09:16 PM
BigJim;
got so excited about a quiz, I didn't read to the part about no Trannys. Read it, and Cry, biach! Speaking of which, where is said Biacho? I am totally missing some vehement hatred and vicious down-puttings! Come Back! I swear the dp will be fun!
104. Posted by christee on May 5, 2006 01:56 AM
if it's not too late... here are my answers.
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16 (same night i got my 1st real kiss)
2. How many men have you slept with? 14, not counting a few random "oral onlies"
3. How many women? 0
4. Ever done anal? yeah, a few times
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? it was better than i'd imagined, but no hurry to go it again
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? no
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? if i ever do, you'll be the third to know
and for the love of all that is the english-fucking language, lameassednabananas (you gwen stefani rip-off!). the word is SENSE, not SENCE!!! but, it's apparent you have none, so who's got the wasted logic now?
105. Posted by Fa Cube Itches on May 5, 2006 03:42 AM
Welcome to the Karaoke Network (aka ESPN 6)... we now go live to Celebrity Karaoke Round Up with tonight's guest, Tom Cruise!!!!!
Tom: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare you gonna take me home tonight?
Impaaaaaaaale me with that big flashlight
Aaaaaaaaaare you gonna let your starfish out?
Tight bottom dudes, you make my rockin' world go round!
Hey, you are a cute lil' lad.
And I surely want you bad
Cuz' I knew life before I left my nursery huh!
Left alone with well-hung Danny
Who stuck it in my fanny
Red hot fella made a gay boy outta me!
Hey-hey woo!
I been shillin' for L. Ron
From dusk until the dawn
An I blew every blue-eyed hustler on the way
With my rough-trade kinda style
They all prolapsed after a while
Give me them tight tight starfish everytime!
C'mon!
Oh, won't you take me home tonight?
Impale me with your flashlight?
And then take all I've got?
Tight bottom dudes, you make my rockin' world go round!"
Announcer: "Uh, we ... uh, seem to be experiencing 'technical difficulties' at the moment. We, uh, will return to Celebrity Karaoke Round Up in just a few moments. *vomits*"
106. Posted by Fa Cube Itches on May 5, 2006 03:44 AM
Erm, wrong thread. Oh well. I stand by it.
107. Posted by becca11 on May 5, 2006 04:35 AM
im liking this picture of her, I haven't seen a good one in a couple years.
108. Posted by VenomousSwan on May 5, 2006 09:48 PM
1.How old were you when you lost your virginity? 18; I was a late bloomer.
2. How many men have you slept with? Four.
3. How many women? Two.
4. Ever done anal? Yes, sir.
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? No, sir. I don't like it. *horse from Ren and Stimpy voice*
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex?
With my luck it would get into the wrong hands, so no.
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy?
Only if you really want to vomit.
8. Have you ever touched yourself at work?
No, I work in a morgue. That'd be gross.
9. If yes to #7 were you caught? Eeew.
10. Aren't you Canadian? Shut up! I'm ashamed enough, okay? Fuck...
11. If yes to 10 have you ever had sex in a mounty hat? No, but I have boffed a member of the RCMP.