i'd let james bond beat the hell out of me.

first.

Does he still like his martinis shaken, not stirred?

That's what I want to know.

DAMN YOU BOTH!

I was so fricking close to being first.

I would too. hahaha

ooh, domestic violence is so sexy. oh, i guess except when it's OJ.

Too much of his original fan base has died off for anyone to care.

The rest of us? Let's just call him the Tommy Lee of his time.

Italian Stallion beats his meat not women......

Damn you Jolie, I was watching that frickin' video of her in Namibia.

Anyway, I bet his ex-wife feels a bit shaken and stirred after all this.

Sean Connery has WICKED bad breath. I met him at a fundraiser several years ago and it nearly melted the plastic cup I was holding. It was almost like getting smacked in the face. But worse.

It was a fundraiser for victims of domestic abuse.

Of course his comments were taken out of context. Look people, we all know he's always hangin' out with junkies. They want smack so he gives it to them, nothing wrong with that, he's a giver, that's how he rolls.

Sean Connery was a dragon, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

#9 that is the funniest comment I've read all day. Did you offer him a mint? lol

Oh the humanity, almost first

I'd hit it
there I said it..i'd hit his scottish ass all thw way back to Scotland to eat some Haggis...yum yum

remember tcltc

7 out of 10 women are battered. I prefer mine fried.

Okay, so it wasn't really for victims of domestic abuse... it would have been ironic, no?

They should start a new fund-raising campaign for victims of Sean Connery's stink-breath. The worst part was, you weren't expecting it, so you're up really close ('cause he's famous, and you instinctively want to get close) and POW there it is, powerful and stinky, and you can't escape. GOD that man loves to talk.

I think the only thing Sir Sean should be hitting is the golf course.

It's the new Chappelle:
*WHACK*
"I'm James BOND, bitch!"

You expect me to talk? No Mr. Bond, I expect you to floss!!!!

I'd like a smack on my ass.

Bond, James Bond. Bitch where's my martini? Oh, hell no. I know you didn't stir it instead of shaking it. I will shake you. I will ram it up your arse.

Sweetcheeks, could you possibly milk that moment any more? We're all very impressed you met Sean Connery while on your garbage-man route.

You know the first thing a woman does when she gets out the battered women's shelter?

The mother fuckin' dishes if she knows what's good for her.

I would let Sean beat me back in his prime as long as he promised to talk dirty and give to me real hard afterwards. Crap, now I have to be turned on at work thinking about it.

Yeah, I went to this place the other day, it was called "Tempura House" I thought the food would be really good, then I found out it was a shelter for lightly battered women.

I used to like him, but now I've heard he says all this stuff... it's kind of hard to imagine he beats woman up, but not that I'm sure he does, I think he is really an idiot, James Bond or not.

damn, what is it with this man! i'd do him in a new york minute, and i don't even know what that expression means!! worst of it all, he's the same age as my father!

used to feel that way about harrison ford until he hooked up with that ali mc beal goblin. dear lord, did she suck the life out of him, or what??

i remember those interviews, and interpretd (sp) them as being somewhat tongue in cheek.

shit, i still don't care. if hubby says ok, i'm up for a little connery-smackin'!

but of course i don't condone violence. OW! WTF was that for???????

“Oh, I’ll play your game, you rogue. Let’s try the rapists for twenty.”

“Well, the game is afoot. I’ll take anal bum cover for $7,000.”

“I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will.
What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?
One’s a sick duck...
I can’t remember how it ends, but your mother is a whore.”

#24 That comment was strangely arousing until I realized your name is Lou.

#9... you actually just made me laugh out loud and my brother asked me what was so funny, and now he's on the floor laughing... you're awesome.

Well a man has to relax.

#28... umm, that's therapists

Another cock-free LandMan post. You are playing right into my hands! All too easy. Perhaps you are not as powerful as the Emporer thought.

#29, ha ha ha he he he

sweetcheeks? Huh?

Should have stopped while you were ahead.

who cares

lameassbananas: you are a complete idiot. Why don't you and your brother roll around the floor together. Your posts are making me want to punch babies in the face.

#23 good to see your still alive, I thought the male prostitute was to much for you to handle and I felt bad for sending him to your room........Now I don't feel as bad.....

#23 Papa, I swear I did all my chores while you were gone. But don't let that stop you from giving me the beating I deserve.

bananas -- my goal was to rid this thread of Land-cock and Land-balls, so by attacking me he has succumbed to my subversive manipulation. Kinda like a Jedi mind trick. Hence the Star Wars reference.

I hate LandMan and all of his compensatory gential references.

# 29 My name is Lou but I am a woman so you can keep thinking dirty thoughts:)

Sorry, nothing funny to write here. Beating up women is highly uncool.

Unless said woman is Paris Hilton, cuz I hate that whore.

Nothing funny for BigJim to write? What else is new?

I can't even condone beating up Land-bitch, because I don't think it's nice to hurt mentally retarded people.

It doesn't matter anyway, because the Darwin Award folks will be knocking on his door any day now.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

More wife beating jokes to come, if I can think of any more. You've been a great audience, I'll be here all week!

Remind me to leave for a week.

Consider yourself reminded, but why not a year?

#41 your first comment was strangely arousing until I realized your name is Lou and you're not really a guy

Hitting chicks ain't cool. Watching James Bond hit chicks is cool. Killing people ain't cool. Watching James Bond kill people is cool. Getting anal from scotsman ain't cool. Getting anal from James Bond is...wait a minute...

Sean Connery totally looks like a wife-beater. And if had a wife-beater on, forget it...

#9 i did not laugh at all.

#51, you're fired.

@45 ha ha...bad post bad post....ha ha

tcltc

#43 the only thing funny about BigJim is his manhood

...and Connery can beat whomemever the hell he wants..its Connery!

*whomever (duh)

I just like to be choked when I climax. Is that soooo wrong?!
For the record, he didn't punch me - I ran into his fist.

Ah, that's disappointing... the old James Bond movies had a lot of sexist dialogue - I guess Connery is a man from a different era...

LOL @ 9 Sweetcheeks.

> @ 24 Lou ..NASTY! Have you ever seen old man genitals? ...NASTY!!!.. You should work in a HOSPTIAL for a few weeks. After 50, people should have their fucking genitals permanently hidden from society.

The old women get long saggy vulva that hang down like hound ears around an unwashed spelunking-cave Ghole (that they don't clean, btw, because their sense of smell is shit and they don't know they smell like an infected Vegas sex shop).

The old geezers TOTALLY absorb their penises until they have a tiny (almost imperceivable) mushroom-head amongst a very few sparse gray 7" wiry hairs. Below their now-non-existant penis is a scrotum stretched (by 80 years of gravity), hanging, wrinkled, halfway to their knees, containing two barely-alive peanut testicles gasping for their last breath of air.

THAT'S SEAN CONNERY.

God Almighty, #58, that description hardly seems necessary.

I'm with #59 on that one. I just pretty much threw up all over the place.

#58...you sure you weren't Paris Hilton's gyne? I'm not sure it's age as much as mileage.

She most likely deserved it.

Yuck, I hate him now for sure...hitting women is SO wrong!

Yeah, he's James Bond though. You are allowed to beat women up when you are James Bond.