update on what? i'm not watching this video.

Now I have a Machine Gun, Ho-Ho-Ho.

"Don't worry Tom I haven't given birth yet" (*wink* *wink*-it's not time for MI3 yet)
-OR- Xenu's pregnancies last a lot longer than ours.

Eeeeekkk!!!!!!! When he tried to imitate the Katie smile with tongue sticking out, that was just fucking creepy. Almost as creepy as that time when Land-Man tried to hunt me down in Crapville and use his horrible wit to make me commit suicide.

The Blackberry message was actually from the fetus. It reads as follows: Thanks for the gay gene, Dad.

Nah, that wasn't Katie. I bet, it was one of his cock buddies setting up a cock date to go and enjoy some cock in one of them cockhouses.

Guy's a total Looney Tune. It gives me the creeps that he cannot wipe that smirk off of his face. He also loves the cock.

And what's with all the head bobbing? Is that residual muscle memory from going down on Travolta in a "Thetan Release" exercise?

"The package has been subdued. The medicine has been administered, and the pillow is back in place."

I bet someone had a pistol in her mouth and she was crying as she was trying to send the message. I also bet that the e-mail contained the words "amazing" "incredible" "absolutely" and "glib".

Land-Man, are you sure that you're not NewGuy? You would have been better off typing "second" and shutting the fuck up.

ha ha ha ha HA, #5!
is it just me, or does diane look as disgusted/scared as the rest of us?

Geez, remember the days when Tom Cruise was a synonym for 'sexy star that every woman dreamed about'?? Those days are lonnnng gone. What a fucking psycho. With a capital FUCK.

He likes it when she sticks her tongue out like that because it looks like a happy little penis.

This is comforting and pleasing to Tom because ...

TOM LIKES THE COCK!

"She has this thing that she does with her tongue..."

Mmmhmmmm!

I've seen thalidomide babies cuter than KT. Even the ones with flippers for arms who poop themselves and stick their tongues out as a sorry excuse for smiling...

creepy

This TOTALLY UNSCRIPTED moment of true love and affection brought to you by BlackBerry. Because when you're out to convince the world that you don't really suck cock like a starving 13-year-old Taiwanese girl, only BlackBerry will do!

...seriously, though. Who believes this is real? Since when is it protocol to "interrupt" like that? It's not as though her message contained time-sensitive information or anything. What a stupid stunt.

Has anyone seen that Brad Pitt is on the lost of the World's 100 UNsexiset Men on MSN.com? I figured that I'd throw that in. With all of the crazy things he does, this is likely to become Tom Cruise central.

That was a total impromtu moment...MY ASS. You have to wonder about people who have to try so hard to show that they are in love. I'm just sayin'....

Thomas covets and aches for long, thick, pinkish-purple, veiny penii. Up his bum. Sometimes one in is mouth too.

I kid you not.

uuuhhh. I hate Diane Sawyer almost as much as I hate Oprah. Fake.

uuuhhh. I hate MeganHarris almost as much as I hate Kim. Fake.

The message reads:
"R U going to take the binky out after I make baby spawn it relly hurts my mouth and gives me crazy shark teeth LOL :) plz! And I'm sorry I called my mom and dad 2 tell him I was in labor it wont happen again :) In Xenu's name Luv, Kates"

MeganHarris does for this site what KFC did for the song "Sweet Home Alabama".

Apparently, he and Katie have lived in a previous life together.

"I really would have preferred being a brain surgeon or a research scientist in this life." Cruise, 43, told how he has known and loved his latest fiancee, Dawson's Creek star Katie Holmes, "many times in many lives before". He said: "When I was languishing in prison before being sent to exile, she used to send me notes hidden in the collar of her pug dog. She's my eternal soulmate."

Wait until he dumps her ass because of "contract negotiations". How's that for an eternal soulmate?

#17 and #19 - I though the exact same thing.

First, who acts like that?? Tom is not a great actor, and he has never been good at "drama". He's not good at pretending to be in love, either.

The email had "fake" written all over it, too. What a coincidence that he received the email during the interview so he could show it to Diane (and the rest of the world)! By the way, is Katie 13 or 27?

Fake fake fake.

Okay, I think I'm going to go back to ignoring the fat lesbian peanut gallery, and just ignore their posts. Last thought: I hope you hear "screwed" all the time when it comes out, can't avoid it! It stays in your head, in your dreams, on your way to work. Everywhere!

#27 - Here's another famous translation:
"Okay, I think I'm going to go back to licking the fat lesbian anus gallery, and just fingering their vaginas. I hope I hear "screwed!" all the time when it comes out, can't avoid it! It stays in my head, in my dreams, on my way to work, on my finger, in my sheets. Everywhere!"
I didn't hardly touch that last part. MeganHarris, you are a classic!

It wasn't really an interruption, it was while they were changing tapes ?

I think he was going to say: It drives me crazy that she doesn't have a cock because I love the cock.

#28 Classic. Yes. Like a classic case of scabies.

The blackberry stunt was probably orchestrated by his PR team to convince us of Kate's pregnancy.

Can scientology cure MeganHarris?

"I really would have preferred being a brain surgeon or a research scientist in this life." Cruise, 43, told reporters. "Because then I could take Gross Anatomy and I would get to see lots of wrinkly cocks preserved in formeldahyde. And I could take them home with me. And people under anesthesia would be at my mercy."

TCLTC!

What does she do that drives you crazy?

When she asks for sex, that just pisses me off, in my mind I'm thinking, sex with a girl? Thats so Heterosexual...ewwwwwwww....everyone knows I love the cock.........

whoops.. what tomcruise really said was "cocks under anesthesia"

ok, "changing tape" but there are still at least two cameras rolling, one behind crazycocklover and one behind the blond tv-newsman-lady.....ok.....and how weird is it that he says "she does this thing with her tongue, I have seen it in pictures" like he does not even live with her? there is no untangling any sense in this, he is beyond fucked-up.

"The thing about Katie that makes me crazy is when she stands in the window with the sun behind her, a halo forms, an aura. She transforms into a gigantic, glistening cock, pulsating, throbbing, dripping a little at the top. Then I take her inside me, all of her, silently. That makes me crazy."

clearly he has no answer for what she does that bugs him....that alone is enough proof that they are not real, if he said she never flosses her crooked teeth, those cold-sore-herpes infestations are not so attractive, she has un-shiney hair, then at least he would've been human, but this nothing, only 'good crazy' is just not real. the people i love have things that bug me too, that is life, unless you are in a cult, that is.

Woooh - now we're, don't say it... a PEANUT GALLERY. Ouch. Yo' mama wears combat boots.

FIRST!!!!!

#28: Once in a blue moon does someone make me laugh outloud. PapaHotNuts has done it a few times, LaydeeBug & ManUnited used to, mamacita & trotter, but holy hell, "and just fingering their vaginas". Maybe it's all the chitlins & assjuice I'm consuming.
You brought tears to my eyes in a way only meganharris could understand.

BARF. The fact that he keeps talking about how "cute" and "adorable" and "awww so cutey-wutey widdle girl" she is, compounded with the fact that he is seventeen years older than her, makes me wanna ralph. Fuckin freak.

Tom Cruise looks like a man who is blissfully in love with a wonderful woman & blissfully happy awaiting the birth of his child. I think all of you are jealous!!

sherry-co, bend over, i need to shove tom's blackberry up your ass.

Katie singing to Tom: I need a lover who won't drive me crazy!

Showbiz just announced she had it---finally.

hey sherry-co, do us a favor and slag the celebs, not yr fellow posters....I am not jealous of a mentally unbalanced egomaniac, really not.

just in time for MI3

..."respect the cock,... tame the cunt"

so... tom's assistant interupts the interview with a blackberry message that basically says nothing is happening.
And then Tom joyfully shoves the blackberry screen into everyone's face, and the camera, to show us that nothing has indeed happened.
Gotcha.

What does Katie do that drives Tom crazy?

Ummm, maybe she thinks about something other than stupid gay Tom Cruise.

Diane should have asked TC what he does to make Katie his-Stepford-wife-to-be-after-M-III. Oh I should have said what does TC do to make Katie crazy. As in amazingly crazier.

TC makes me want to shower in very hot water with bleach.

@43 - Tom Cruise is blissfully in love with HIMSELF -- he's a total controling, self-serving asswipe blissfully flaunting a young unsuspecting chickie that he lured into his cult. TCLTC and NOTHING ELSE!!!

"Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have welcomed their first child together, two inside sources have told PEOPLE.

No other details are immediately available."

inside sources = cultists
and according to other bits, is not TCLTC in europe promoting his crappy sequel, so he is so ecstatic at the imminent birth that he leaves the country......

Dear Tom Cruise

We know that you love the cock. All your pseudo-heterosexual antics are getting tiresome.

Yours sincerely

The World

TC fancies himself as an 'alpha' male--and what do alpha males do to show their the leader? Hump everyone else in the pack! His whole existance is based on humping!!!

Just announced on the news - the ANTI-CHRIST has been birthed!!!!

The spawn has been born and they named her SURI? What kind of jacked up shit is that?

well, TCLTC is a level VII operating thetan, so he alone knows that SURI is to XENU what krypton us to Superman. makes perfect sense. full name: Suri ElRonHubbardette

...and her name is Suri--is that pronounced like "Surrey with the fringe on the top"!?!

Tom Cruise loves the cock, but not as much as Jacq does.

From what I can tell, Jacq is a HOT chick--and should partake every chance she gets...God knows I surely would....go for the wood that is.....

What a beautiful couple, and what a joyous day this must be for them as they welcome there precious bundle of joy, Suri, into there lives!! I think you all are jealous!

what I find fucking hilarious about this is that she is so out to crucify/expose him, and when asked about her, he not only is stumped for an answer for an ungodly amount of time, but then he quotes stuff that has been printed in magazines. HAHAHAHAHAHA What a tool

i cant wait until he comes out of the closet. he is such a fag.

boy, sherry-co, that's a really bad stutter.
oh, yeah, we're REAL jealous.
*snicker*

I would be so pissed off if I was 9 months pregnant and stuck home and my boyfriend was off doing movie press and needed to be updated via blackberry on my condition. come the fuck home, idiot.
of course, this scenario really doesn't apply to these two, as katie was 11 months pregnant and guarded by scientologists. and brainwashed.

All of you are so jealous!! You have to say such vile things to give your own lame lifes a boost. They have it ALL!! and all of you have NOTHING!! CONGRATS to Tom & Katie..now they are not only the SUPER COUPLE, but now they are the SUPER FAMILY!!

FULL OF SHIT ANSWER! When he was asked, "Is there anything that she does that drives you crazy?" He was totally trying to find a mild answer, but lamely says nothing! This guy is so anal retentive he shits Astroglide.

In response to #66 - do you have anything else to say other than what have posted for the last two stories?

If you cannot take our humor here, perhaps going back to your Weekly Reader is more to your liking.

It's that awful fake smile that makes me want to punch him in the face every time. He has that same smile even when he is about to tell off some Swedish interviewer or scold someone for squirting water in his face or jump on a couch or bend over...

This is Tom Cruise's best performance to date. He actually uses his acting talent to play "normal." At the beginning of the clip he almost breaks character though, you can tell. He definitely dances around that "drives you crazy" question pretty well too. I would like to nominate him to the academy right now.

1 word = douchebag.

Lies. It was Xenu texting Tom. "Resist her charms. You love the cock. In the name of Xenu, resist!"

#66

Crawl out of your little happy place and see people for what they are. They have it all? And the plural of "life" is "lives". Just how does a 9 year old sneak onto mommy's computer and get to this site anyway?

Are you kidding me?

They don't have anything; TC does. Katie could be tossed away now that TC has his child/spawn.

Having a child outside of a marriage is a bad idea. A popular one, for sure, but when it comes down to protecting the rights of the munchkins and seeing to their happiness, not a smart choice to make. Unless you have the money to buy a gold-plated attorney/contract.

I wouldn't trade my life for TC's for one second. Money and fame don't buy you happiness.

It's not about having what want, it's about wanting what you have.

You're an idiot.

I agree that poster #66 is a total effen idiot. I nominate Sherry-co to take Trophywife's place on the most hated people list.

Maybe one day she'll bite off the tip of her tongue with those rat teeth. It'll just fall off and grow another Katie.

He is almost too easy to make fun of.

ill give you a big pile of money if someone can figure out what the to and/or from addresses are on that crackberry message. and by money, i mean fecal matter. but it will be soooo worth it.

sherrysherrysherry-co. It's obvious you work in the kitchen at the Scientology Center. Any normal person who hasn't been brainwashed can see that Tom Cruise does not have a life that anyone would envy. He is ridiculed around the world, not because of jealousy, but because he is a horses ass. He started out a completely insecure person with disabilities that was weak and wanted to believe in something that would cure him. They pray on the weak, and if you're rich, you're an even bigger target, it's what Scientology is all about. He's turned into a hidious creature that has a god complex. Now, take the Top Gun poster off your Scientology dorm room wall and quit posting here

#66 reminds me of Big Gay Al.

Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to "get" what it stands for. Its all about "EMPOWERMENT" Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to "get" what it stands for. Its all about "EMPOWERMENT" Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to "get" what it stands for. Its all about "EMPOWERMENT" Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

sherry-co drank the Kool-Aid. It's only a matter of time...

Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to "get" what it stands for. Its all about "EMPOWERMENT" Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

@82

Unfortunately, sherry-co will go to her grave knowing that she was a complete and utter failure. She DID drink the kool-aid, but she forgot the Nikes. The dumb bitch.

he was TOTALLY acting during that interview....what a fucking NUT!

Run katie...while you still can. let him keep the "baby" and run while he is sleeping in his pod!

#81 - You are clearly a freakish baby molester, right? I love how you capitalize Religion, as if the capital "R" makes it a real religion. That's how all of us Christians got in line. Some nut job standing on a sidewalk screaming at me about how I'm so fucking dumb that I "don't get it", that makes me think "ok, I'll try that." Plus, it's not like anything is shrouded in secrecy when it comes to Scientology, which makes it not cult-like. And it's not like TC (who LTC BTW) gets up and runs away from people who ask him for clarity. Check. Just making sure we're on the same page. Thanks for giving me the "empowerment" to get up and take a shit after I read your post. I also printed it and wiped with it. I have a bunch of vileness here with your name on it, turn and face me. Oh, and it figures that you would call us indigent when you have to be rich to buy your staircase to heaven (or wherever the fuck you go, hell or whatever) in Scientology. As a typical Scientologist, you would confuse being ignorant with hating Scientology. I want to pull a cinderblock from the wall of your cell at the Celebrity Centre (that's how they spell it, right? The fucking e at the end?) and dash your brains onto the fuckin' floor with it.

You are in the cross-hairs, Sherry. I WILL get you.

Damn! I didn't spell that right. It's Scien-TWAT-ogy. I hope you come back to defend your carcass.

LORD PLEASE, STRIKE THIS SINNER DOWN!!! GODDAMN TOM CRUISE SUCKS ASS!!!

Katie Holmes has a stupid fake smile just like TC.

And what are Scientologists doing here? Shouldn't you be sucking on an adult binky?

On another note, I've tried to parse sherry-co's sentence:

"Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning."

I can't. I simply can't. It's impossible.

Bwaaaaaaaaaa! Mommy, please make her go away! Please!

Hey Jacq..Bring it on..Go figure..only a TRULY IGNORANT person would think that the word IGNORANT had anything to do with HATE..plain and simple Jacq..Ill make it simplier for you to understand...IGNORANT=STUPID or in your case..IGNORANT=STUPID JACQ...wipe your ass with this post dummy...SCIENTOLOGY RULES!!! HAIL TO TOM CRUISE!!

go jacq. it's your birthday ***does cabbage patch dance moves***

TC kind of reminds me of my sister's boyf, who is french and is equally odd.And short.

@91

Actually, you fucking sea sponge, ignorant does not=stupid. What it=is the following:

1. Lacking education or knowledge.
2. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge: an ignorant mistake.
3. Unaware or uninformed.

On the other hand, stupid=

1. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
2. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
3. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless

In case you don't get it, I'll paraphrase. Ignorance=lack of knowledge, stupid=lack of intelligence. So, if WE'RE ignorant, and you can't DEFINE the word ignorant correctly, what does that make you? I'll tell you what it makes you-----a STUPID fucking tool in the shared toolbelt of Lord Xenu, Tom Cruise, and L. Ron Hubbard. Or, more likely, just a STUPID fucking tool, since you're just trying to piss everyone off and probably don't believe all that shit you're spouting.

Sherry - If you could read, I said it was typical that you confuse ignorance with anyone who hates Scientwatogy. I didn't say that hate and ignorance were the same thing. Step back into the real world you brainwashed, fuck. I'm sure being a Scientwatogist makes you feel like you are constantly under attack. Thanks for making it "simplier" for me.
OH MY GOD! IGNORANT = STUPID JACQ?! STUPID JACQ?! I'm going to cry and convert now... Quick someone come to my defense!
Thanks for summing up Scientwatogy for us! Is comes down to this - HAIL TOM CRUISE! You said it. You are the stupid fuck, you realize that you're idolizing a celebrity, right? You could never think as highly as him as he does of himself.
And have you heard Tom Cruise loves the cock? He must love you, too, because you are a total cocksucker. Er, wait, make that SUCKER.
P.S. YOUR CAPS SUCK.

Ugh, more overly coreographed =Sorry Mamacita, I know I misspelled that= ;)

Crap from Tom and Kaite, I was reading another interview with her where a suprise gift from Tom of a very expensive necklace just happened to show up during the interview so she could squeal and say "Thats My Man!" etc... Ugh, Can husbands die in childbirth?

@96

Yes, choreographed.

"Ugh, Can husbands die in childbirth?"

They can if I put a spike through their neck.

ok, got a question, I understand why Tom might fabricate a relationship with a woman to prove he's not gay (if he is gay), but what I can't seem to understand is why Katie would agree to having his child if that were the case -- a kid is a huge commitment that you'll have for the rest of her life...why would she want to tie herself up with a kid et al when she could simply marry him for career advancement. Any ideas? (and the answer b/c Tom likes cock isn't the answer I'm looking for, I'm serious --what would Katie Holmes motivation be for the kid? Yes the marriage could advance her career but a kid?

Here's the reasoning that Katie Holmes is using: she is insane now, and insane people don't use logic or reasoning. Seriously, I've read up a lot on Scientology and cults in general and once these people are brainwashed, they no longer have any original thoughts or opinions. The whole point of a cult is to make it so that the group is homogenous and the "leader" has a bunch of people to worship him and do whatever the hell he says, up to and including: abandoning marriages and previous children, signing over all money and/or property, cutting yourself off from friends or family that don't share the views of the cult, engaging in sex with the leader or someone else that the leader designates, etc. If the higher ups in Scientology told Katie to have a kid, she'd do it. Period.

sherry co you can defend Scientology all you want, although why you would choose to do so on this site is beyond me. Please humor us, enlighten us, tell us how you have been empowered by Scientology, I'm curious, really. Tell us in what way was your life fucked up and now it isn't because of Scientology, and more importantly, how much has it cost you??? One more thing, can you explain why Scientology felt the need to drastically sway a poll a magazine TRIED to conduct regarding Tom Cruise and Scientology, by using 10 computers at the Celebrity Centere to cast 14,000 votes, hhhmmm, please, really, explain for us