March 27, 2006
Paris Hilton has brothers

Ever wondered what it would be like if Paris Hilton wasn't the most screwed up one in her family? Yeah, me neither, because the thought is so frightening I crapped my pants just talking about it. Anyways, above is a picture of her 12-year-old brother Conrad. He's only 12 so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but things aren't looking so promising for him. It's usually not a good sign when looking at a picture of a 12-year-old makes me want to punch through my monitor in anger.
You can check out 12-year-old Conrad's Myspace here and 16-year-old Barron's MySpace here. I'm not saying the Hiltons were bad parents, but their children probably would have turned out better if they had just found a cave in the woods and left them there to be raised by bears.
Previous Entries
» Stavros Niarchos is a rich bastard» Keira Knightley turns 21
» Randy Quaid sues Brokeback people
» Jessica Alba tired of sexiness
» Friends reunion killed by Friends


Comments
1. Posted by Jacq on March 27, 2006 03:43 PM
So, what's the point? They have herpes?
2. Posted by Ms Crackalackin on March 27, 2006 04:01 PM
Ugh, he looks as arrogant and empty-headed as his big sis. Just another brat with a pretentious name and no purpose in life other than to dress in expensive clothing and look vacuous.
3. Posted by Fisher55 on March 27, 2006 04:07 PM
my friend barrie was the nanny of that kid, swear to god. never sure he existed til now tho...
4. Posted by urockmysocks on March 27, 2006 04:11 PM
hahaha they both look ugly. the 16-year old looks like a drug addict
5. Posted by ob1 on March 27, 2006 04:11 PM
Looks like his sister passed down her oral skills to him. Wider Conrad, wider!
6. Posted by SuperSpence on March 27, 2006 04:17 PM
I've taken craps bigger than that kid's brain.
7. Posted by PapaHotNuts on March 27, 2006 04:23 PM
Take it from me, whooping the shit out of a rich kid is A LOT more fun than beating up a middle income kid.
8. Posted by CoJo on March 27, 2006 04:26 PM
C'mon! Yes. The kid is destined to be a arrogant prick, but it's not his fault. Not yet anyway. Let's see -
His Mother has exposed her tits (and then some) all over L.A...his Dad probably has spare pussy stashed in every city around the globe and his sister has not only made a porno, but more people have seen her vagina and tits than Jenna Jameson's. Clearly - the child doesn't stand a chance.
I wonder how many times he's seen "One night in Paris"?
He does look like a little fucker, though.
9. Posted by HughJorganthethird on March 27, 2006 04:26 PM
Fetal alcohol syndrome anyone?
Hey kid when you see your mom tell her nice tits for me.
10. Posted by pixelbasic on March 27, 2006 04:32 PM
Sweetness! The date-rape and night-club gunplay trials are going to make Paris' escapades look sooooo 1986.
11. Posted by Fisher55 on March 27, 2006 04:36 PM
it's really not cool to make fun of retarded kids, guys
12. Posted by suzy on March 27, 2006 04:36 PM
lol, he's 12, maybe he's making fun of Paris? who knows...
maybe he'll even be the normal one in that family... we'll just have to wait and see when he becomes famous for doing nothing!
13. Posted by thatsnothot on March 27, 2006 04:40 PM
i just looked at barren's myspace and he is not much better than paris for his age. in all of his pictures he looks stoned or he's going to be stoned (he has a cigarette in his hand). this kid above does not look a day over 7. there is no way he's twelve. but then again we all know he probably has the brain of a clove of garlic.
14. Posted by Italian Stallion on March 27, 2006 04:41 PM
#8 What do you mean how many times did he see "One night in Paris" ? You mean to tell me you didn't see his name on the credits? The little fucker filmed it!!!
15. Posted by Zed on March 27, 2006 04:42 PM
I try so hard not to pick on the underaged, but in this case I'll make an exception. I'm guessing he'll be up on coke charges in about 2 more years. Maybe less.
16. Posted by CoJo on March 27, 2006 04:48 PM
LOL #8, I thought that line in the "One Night in Paris" credits where it said, "Special thanks to Conrad Hilton" meant it was filmed AT the Conrad Hilton, not BY Conrad Hilton!
That explains a lot!
17. Posted by turdhead on March 27, 2006 04:51 PM
The most interesting thing about that picture is whether the eagle or the snake is going to win that epic battle shown on his t-shirt. I got 10 on the snake because if he can get himself stuck up a bird's ass like that he's probably fairly resourcesful and/or lubed.
18. Posted by Jay from the Bay on March 27, 2006 04:57 PM
That's a boy? Does "he" have blower's cramp or is he just special needs? Someone get a bib.
19. Posted by bigfatmomma on March 27, 2006 04:59 PM
geez these people are like frickin rabbits. enough already. if i never see another hilton in the news, i'd die happy
20. Posted by playahater101 on March 27, 2006 05:04 PM
So we have 2 more Hiltons? Wonderful. Why didn't their mother do us all a favor and swallow a few times? Hopefully they'll be public disasters.
21. Posted by Douchebag1 on March 27, 2006 05:07 PM
Put him and his sister together and we have a candidate for my new blog:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.blogspot.com/
22. Posted by saltpeanuts on March 27, 2006 05:16 PM
Kids are amazing these days. Only 12, and look - he's already got the "drunk and junked" look perfected. At 13 he'll likely get a headstart on the ever popular "Manorexia" look.
And little do most of you realize that the cost of his private school Manhattan education costs more than the average American makes in a year.
23. Posted by Roxie on March 27, 2006 05:17 PM
this picture is so gay i'm turning gay just looking at it ... are u sure this isn't ryan seacrest as a child?
24. Posted by diedl on March 27, 2006 05:24 PM
*choke* am I really supposed to believe that according to Barron's profile that the Hiltons are CATHOLIC!??! you gotta be kidding me.
25. Posted by maiira on March 27, 2006 05:28 PM
Ugh. More pretentious fuckwads famous for doing absolutely nothing.
And don't even get me started on myspace. I hate that site with a passion unmatched by anyone anywhere.
And aren't you supposed to be 14 before you can even HAVE a myspace?
26. Posted by superficielle on March 27, 2006 05:30 PM
that picture is so so sad.
27. Posted by Spindoc on March 27, 2006 05:44 PM
I thought that was the kid with Downs Syndrom who played "Corky" in "Life Goes On"
http://www.nndb.com/people/380/000086122/
It looks like he is also practicing one of his sisters Stock Poses.
http://starophileimages2.free.fr/wallpapers/paris_hilton_006.jpg
28. Posted by Kg on March 27, 2006 06:13 PM
Hey Elton John called, he says he wants his shoes back
29. Posted by LRonHubbaHubba on March 27, 2006 06:21 PM
that's hot.
30. Posted by krisdylee on March 27, 2006 06:22 PM
So, hey, is the name Barron primarily only for rich fucker's to name their sons???? Or does the Donald have no originality at all??
31. Posted by honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah on March 27, 2006 06:25 PM
I'd hit it.
32. Posted by rds0811 on March 27, 2006 06:33 PM
Damnit, that little turd rocket is gonna inherit millions upon millions just for being born. I swear, the injustices in life are just astounding.
33. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on March 27, 2006 06:39 PM
MySpace makes me frown.
34. Posted by Juhaina on March 27, 2006 06:43 PM
Hold on...
didn't Donald Trump name his new kid Barron too???
35. Posted by ifihadahifi on March 27, 2006 06:53 PM
Was this pic taken during detention?
36. Posted by MeganHarris on March 27, 2006 07:03 PM
Aww. Cute kid. He looks just like her!
i bet she bought that t-shirt from him. its a H&M if i'm not mistaken.
37. Posted by teffi on March 27, 2006 07:14 PM
Oh my god..... what makes it worse is if you read his messages, Lindsay Lohan's in there, buggin him to "hit her up" Maybe that's why Paris hates her now!
38. Posted by Merebear on March 27, 2006 07:26 PM
awww is his myspace URl title an abbreviation for "living dat shit?" How cute. I want him to grow up fast, get his herpes, and see how shit his life is really going to be real soon.
39. Posted by Merebear on March 27, 2006 07:33 PM
Ooops, my bad. It's probably "loving dat shit", since he knows herpes and anal are hot, though sister should warn him not to mix the two.
40. Posted by Lala on March 27, 2006 07:38 PM
He looks like the spawn of Ralphie from "A Christmas Story".
41. Posted by muzikarly on March 27, 2006 07:42 PM
haha i love how there are cubbies in the backround of the picture.. dont they have them for elementary school students?
42. Posted by sometimesboy on March 27, 2006 07:54 PM
ah..give the kid a break..you know his myspace profile is just there so he can pimp his 'secret' sex tape...
he's really going to miss those carefree nights of passion....in Neverland....
43. Posted by Dee on March 27, 2006 08:01 PM
he looks snotty...with that stupid look on his face...
44. Posted by Kelly on March 27, 2006 08:05 PM
This kid look both like he likes the cock and he rode the short bus. I can see him being like the Alexis Arquette of the family.
45. Posted by Marceelf on March 27, 2006 08:08 PM
I would sleep in a box under a bridge before I would stay in a Hilton hotel. Who could possibly want to contribute to the income of this family. They can make plenty of money with their real skills, offering sex to anyone who stops within ten yards of them and drug dealing, this kid looks like he's already a pro at one - which one is your guess.
46. Posted by Jayne on March 27, 2006 08:09 PM
Barron has good taste in music.
What.
Barron..
Named after Barron Trump?
Celebrity parents lack originality.
47. Posted by Evangelia on March 27, 2006 08:16 PM
#24, why so surprised?
catholics make the best sluts
and the best little boys to get diddled by priests
does this explain conrad's facial expression? i hope not. perhaps he's just preparing to get communion, hilton-style.
48. Posted by LB on March 27, 2006 08:24 PM
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=14470
Barron has such nice friends.
Man, while the rest of us will grow up and realize we were little dipshits in middle and high school, these kids will simply continue acting this way, forever and ever, until Paris Hilton's grinding World War III veterans with her bony, wrinkled ass as the worlds skankiest granny and this little kid is making that gay pose from a wheel chair (due to some back condition related to swinging your hips as a guy, I'm sure).
God, please let the Hiltons end with this generation.
49. Posted by gardeniagirl on March 27, 2006 08:24 PM
rode the short bus! that's a good one. if i was their mother, i swear to GOD i would've bitten down HARD on a 9mm by now just to draw some of the attention away from horrifying spawn.
50. Posted by gardeniagirl on March 27, 2006 08:27 PM
he sort of looks like he's attempting a Dior turn....he DOES have that kind of face you'd want to slap. good thing i'm not his nanny. he'd be running FAST in the other direction.
51. Posted by no.name on March 27, 2006 08:52 PM
He's posing like Paris does. I bet he grows up to be the gay one of the family... with his own talk show.
52. Posted by Namennayo on March 27, 2006 09:32 PM
This is the yearbook photo Luke Skywalker never wanted us to see.
53. Posted by ir0ny! on March 27, 2006 09:40 PM
That one's gay for sure.
54. Posted by LaydeeBug on March 27, 2006 09:48 PM
I'd hit it.
Then I'd spank it. Then I'd make him make me some toast and pull his ear til he cried, like his big bitch sister does.
55. Posted by NoraBalora on March 27, 2006 10:03 PM
why do 12 year olds have myspaces?
56. Posted by Pez_D_Spencer on March 27, 2006 10:21 PM
To quote Foghorn Leghorn:
"There's somethin - I say there's something kinda Yeeeeeeeeeesh about that boy!"
57. Posted by Evil Willow on March 27, 2006 11:26 PM
Too much money + intelligence of a bowl of oatmeal = danger. This family is going to bring about the apocalypse.
58. Posted by carrie bradshaw on March 27, 2006 11:34 PM
He's got the Corey Haim look down pat, that's for sure
59. Posted by sid on March 28, 2006 12:16 AM
"makes me want to punch through my monitor in anger,"
I can't top the Super.
Oh, jeezus, the lives of these people are nuthin but a shit carnival, and the half dozen people who own every tv channel in America INSIST THAT WE HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM.
Oh, we just "love to hate" them. Nahhh. I would be really happy to hear that the whole clan was wiped out by a flesh-eating disease delivered by Paris.
Now that I think of that term, that is, by the way, what killed JIm Henson–an internal version of the flesh-eating disease. Kills ya in less than 2 days. A gentle genius such as Jim gets killed, Stevie Ray Vaughn goes down in a copter, and the Hiltons keep coming.
GOD HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Sorry for the extra exclamation marks; I'm angry enough to punch my monitor.
60. Posted by URalllosers on March 28, 2006 12:43 AM
#58
You know you love the Hiltons. Don't try to act all above it. Wanting to see them all die painfully is further proof of your jealous love obsession. Own it.
61. Posted by ivri on March 28, 2006 12:59 AM
oh god. okay, if paris hilton was even remotely attractive, i'd just feel bad that we idolize people cuz of their looks. but honestly, she's not even easy on the eyes, so what the fuck is the point of her?? and her lil bro looks the same. a fucked up little ugly person. man.
62. Posted by jon on March 28, 2006 06:04 AM
HE HAS MASSIVE HANDS
63. Posted by MissyDra on March 28, 2006 07:48 AM
That's not his hand. That's his man-teacher reaching around from behind.
64. Posted by Sassy on March 28, 2006 08:31 AM
I'm clearly the only person left IN THE WORLD who doesn't have a MySpace page.
65. Posted by casiopt1 on March 28, 2006 08:54 AM
teacher: sit down conrad and finish your lunchables!
conrad: but don't you wanna see it, ms greentree? (thrusts pelvis at teacher)
66. Posted by Reli on March 28, 2006 08:57 AM
He's adorable. I think he's quite obviously making fun of Paris.
But to echo the other people: I'd hit it.
67. Posted by Don'tPanic on March 28, 2006 09:20 AM
Barron does have good taste in music. His taste in movies isn't too bad either. Conrad's profile was set to private so couldn't check it out.
It's a safe bet that these two are wastes of human space.
68. Posted by chiris on March 28, 2006 09:21 AM
I don't have a MySpace page, either.
69. Posted by hot_stewie on March 28, 2006 10:07 AM
You all should be ashamed of yourself! I think he is cute. :)
70. Posted by can't help myself on March 28, 2006 11:13 AM
10 years ago I used to work in the hotel that this idiotic clan called 'home' in NYC; the Waldorf Towers (in the Waldorf Astoria). The girls were just young teenagers, and this scary scary boy Conrad was a toddler. Horrible (non-existant) manners, nasty personalities, and zero discipline. And that was the father! Seriously. Although, even then it seemed like Nicky was just ever so slightly more tolerable than the thing called "Paris". I remember having to call the Towers manager to ask him to ask the Hiltons not to let their brood 'hang out' in the lounge where the paying customers were trying to have a quiet snack. Ugh. Horrible people.
71. Posted by NaughtyBits74 on March 28, 2006 11:52 AM
This child is on his way to "gaydom"...dontcha' think?
72. Posted by gogoboots on March 28, 2006 02:31 PM
Hahaha! Someone on Conrad's myspace page told them that the superficial linked his page! These boys are total brats...
73. Posted by LOOKWHATICANDO on March 28, 2006 02:47 PM
I'm sorry, but he looks retarded, terrible pic.
74. Posted by sid on March 28, 2006 02:47 PM
59: Nope. Because Paris is a dog. Check her pre-makeover at awfulplasticsurgery.com
Woof!
75. Posted by Sweet_cheeks on March 28, 2006 03:10 PM
did anyone see the comment that was left for older douchebag?
" hey [whatever the hell his name is (too lazy to scroll back up to find out )], some douchebag posted your link on superficial.com, wanted to give you a heads up "
or some crap like that.
at least his friends are keeping him informed
76. Posted by OhHowCynical on March 28, 2006 03:33 PM
Ha! Ha! Ha! I thought it couldn't get better. He sure is learning a lot from big sis. He's like a pint-sized, gay version of her.
77. Posted by OhHowCynical on March 28, 2006 03:33 PM
Nothing against gay people, but c'mon, check out the flowery shoes....
78. Posted by xd on March 28, 2006 03:38 PM
aww that kid is cute
79. Posted by Phoenix on March 28, 2006 03:52 PM
I know this is wrong of me to say as he's still a kid but I really wanna kill him.
80. Posted by Equalparts on March 28, 2006 04:01 PM
If I have to look at one more gaping hole that is a Hilton Mouth....
Niki Hilton's legs are half the length of her torso.
http://nickyhilton.celebscentral.net/photo/33489/
A family marked by sasquatch feet, hook noses, lazy eyes, jutting lower jaws and just plain ole nasty sluts. Woo. Ya. What American Royalty.
81. Posted by miadm2002 on March 28, 2006 05:08 PM
He looks like a droid that has malfunctioned or is that his sexy look?!
82. Posted by LaydeeBug on March 28, 2006 08:02 PM
He's just another reminder of the blond hair and blue eyes that Paris was not born with. D'ya think she hates him? He is cute though, and yes, he looks like you'd wanna slap him.
83. Posted by Drunk Blogger on March 28, 2006 10:43 PM
This kid is absolutely screwed. Well, not financially, but with everything else. Well, maybe not, but I hate him.
84. Posted by sid on March 29, 2006 03:39 AM
I wish that was a pic of him just about to die from carbon monoxide poisoning.
Damn. I shoulda posted that earlier.
85. Posted by missjackson on March 29, 2006 07:42 AM
I think it's sad that everyone is bashing him just because of who he is. Seriously the kid is 12, cut him some slack, it's not his fault he was born rich just like it's not ours that we weren't. As far as how he looks in the pic, I'd love to talk to someone who has never had a bad, stupid, silly photo taken of them, especially at 12 years old. I also think that it sucks that their myspaces were put on here, they're minors and they deserve their privacy. They didn't ask to be celebs.
86. Posted by Magus on March 29, 2006 09:39 AM
ok, how long before his gay sex tape ? ...
... with Maculay Culkin ?
87. Posted by if-its-pink-i'll-take-it on March 29, 2006 11:58 AM
god help us. there are still two more hiltons to be unleashed onto society. i dont know if i am going to be able to deal with having to read about all four of their drunken, sexual antics. i wonder what it must be like for the boys to know that one day soon they are going to be VERY famous for doing absolutley NOTHING. i wonder if the boys are going to be worse than the girls? they have probably started sleeping their way aroung hollywood to try and keep up with their sisters already.
88. Posted by pitap on March 29, 2006 12:32 PM
Two Brothers, Two Sisters, a Fucked up Family.
Does anyone remember Flowers in the Attic?
89. Posted by Sarah on March 29, 2006 01:30 PM
You may hate the Hiltons but I don't understand why. Their hotel business is actually quite good for me. See, my dad is an engineer and I am a college student. Whenever there is a natural disaster, such as a flood, etc. that causes a great deal of damage to be done (or if a building just needs a "facelift" of sorts), my dad is the one sent out to renovate the property, making it look as good as new or better. Bring in many natural disasters in a short period of time, all of which bring in a good deal of money, and that brings my family into prosperity. What does that mean for me? More spending money, more vacations, more opportunities to succeed in this economy. Thanks, Hiltons! Without you, I'd have to look to Disney and Trump! (kidding). So next time you want to hate people you've never even met, think of it this way: they could be helping you in ways you've never even thought about.
~Sarah
90. Posted by boredatwurk on March 29, 2006 05:22 PM
Sarah-
I don't think that the people on this post are hating the Hilton's as much as they hate hearing about the drunken, slutty exploits of their offspring (namely Paris).
Just because someone contributes to our captilist society does not mean that they automatically deserve our respect or admiration. This goes doubly for their children.
Most of us do not "hate" the Hilton's, we just seem to agree that we do not care for them, especially considering that their children seem to spend most of their lives pursuing self gratification.
There are plenty of wealthy people with children who use their advantage to make something of themselves. When someone spends their life partying, spending money, and trying to gain popularity by being promiscous, they typically are the butts of blogs like this.
It is a fact of life. They brought it on themselves.
91. Posted by Equalparts on March 29, 2006 06:32 PM
Sarah...is Disney, Trump, or Hilton the only three establishments you can possibly come up with when you think of vacation lodging? Pa-leeze. Your vacations that are funded by daddy's capitalization on natural disasters and your horrible grammar tell me that I'd hate you as much as I hate Paris.
And I promise you, the Hilton Fam has never once in any way, shape or form, "helped" me. Even if I was homeless and a Hilton Family member him or herself offered me free lodging until I got back on my feet, I'd trade it all in if Paris Hilton disappeared from the limelight for the rest of her unnatural life.
92. Posted by Andy on March 29, 2006 07:05 PM
Okay so Conrad's MySpace got deleted, perhaps his parents see the horror of Paris and now take a more active role in child rearing. Considering what goes on up in myspace, it's probably for the best. I mean, if myspace had been around when I was a kid, I wouldn't have wasted countless hours searching my dad's office for his hidden Playboy mgagzines, I would have just met some real girls on myspace, know what I mean?
As for Barron, I asked to be his friend. He seems cool. We actually have some of the same friends, oddly enough. He has a lot more, though.
93. Posted by MizScarlett on April 3, 2006 12:03 PM
I hear Michael Jackson just sent him a plane ticket to Bahrain. "Don't cry, Conrad. Here, have a sip of my Coke."
So sad the way he's trying to dress all hippedy-hop, but Mommy's still making him wear that little navy blazer from the Ralph Lauren Wealthy Boy Collection. The whole fam's just a freakin' waste of protoplasm.
94. Posted by PeteWentz'sGroupie on April 3, 2006 09:00 PM
LMFAO right now...
I may be mistaken, but didn't I see that same T-shirt in the Junior Girl's department at Target?
Oh, sad.
And that's exactly what you're saying. The Hiltons were bad parents. They were too busy having sex with anyone that money could buy but their spouses that they just didn't have the time to pay attention to their kids, Goddamit!
95. Posted by Ashton on April 16, 2006 09:16 PM
facts: Barron is absolutely normal, you guys are wasting ur time.
Uhhh... decent boarding school in quiet Connecticut, and when he's not there he's enjoying VIP at clubs in NYC and LA.
You guys... not so much.
sooo blame your parents and democracy for your non-boarding school attendingness (:
... as for his little brother... he's 12. Ummm, aaaaaand you guys are in the process of making him famous... for, like you said, absolutely nothing.
PS. What kid growing up in a city or @ boarding school doesn't smoke and/or drink. and at the same time end up owning the U.S. anyway. exactly.
just stop hating "Haters"
Boarding School 4 Life!