March 13, 2006
Charlize Theron back on the market
Arrested Development guest star Charlize Theron has ended her five-year relationship with movie star boyfriend, Stuart Townsend. Speculation has been brewing for a few weeks when she declared she had no intentions of marrying him. Luckily for Townsend, the break was completed before the Oscars, keeping him from being photographed next to the horrific Shoulder Bow Incident.
Hollywood’s rumour mill went into overdrive. And last night a pal said: “Charlize is free and single again. Her relationship with Stuart is well and truly over. They just grew apart. It wasn’t always easy because filming often kept them apart for months.”
And while most speculate it was Charlize who called it off (based on the "Who the hell could break up with someone as hot as Charlize?" argument), I'm going to take Stuart's side on this one. No matter how many 400-watt bulbs you bring into the bedroom, every once in awhile when you close your eyes during intimate relations, you're going to see Aileen Wuornos from Monster.
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Comments
1. Posted by GothamGuy on March 13, 2006 01:43 PM
Remember this..."Charlize and Stuart have declared they are to marry the day it becomes legal for gays and lesbians to wed in US."
Dude-like move Charlize. I like it -- that strategy is second only to the whole "faking your own death" scheme to get out of a lame relationship. What must it be like to hear, "Yes I’ll marry you, but only when puppies and kittens and gays…and fat people can get married too." Maybe Stu would fall for that one as well.
2. Posted by sammygirl on March 13, 2006 01:43 PM
I saw Monster for the first time this weekend, and I couldn't believe how UGLY Charlize was. Good god, I was blown away. She's pretty talented I think. And I don't throw compliments around very often, so I must be impressed with her. I understand why she got the Oscar. Reese Witherspoon, on the other hand, NOT a good actress. She's a total anal retentive TypeA control freak. In real life, I can see her being exactly like her character in "Election".
3. Posted by mamacita on March 13, 2006 01:44 PM
Maybe now, she and Christina Ricci can get together and fulfill their every fantasy. You know they want to.
4. Posted by Daniel on March 13, 2006 02:04 PM
Reese is a great actress. She blew that big ham Joaquin(sp?)Phoenix off the screen in "Walk The Line".
A friend of mine met her and her husband once and said they were both very friendly, FWIW.
5. Posted by bafongu on March 13, 2006 02:29 PM
If that thing bent over in front of me you would have a better chance of survival if you got between a ham sandwich and Orson Wells! I'd hit that so hard our grand kids would be dizzy. I'd bang that like a bass drum in the Mummers parade!
You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
6. Posted by Spindoc on March 13, 2006 02:32 PM
Daniel, yes, they were friendly but then again, in an orgy it is considered very bad form to be impolite to newcomers. ;)
7. Posted by Zegna on March 13, 2006 02:53 PM
Ugh! I have to say, the "Monster" headshot of her in the post is so disgusting I almost puked. Honestly.
8. Posted by LoneWolf on March 13, 2006 03:14 PM
#5 - Pray to J. I'd to the same-o same-o.
No real opinion about Charlize; just wanted to show that I got the reference.
9. Posted by sikofdis on March 13, 2006 03:44 PM
She's fine as hell, I'd hit it in a hearbeat!
10. Posted by Alacran on March 13, 2006 03:59 PM
She's freeee, maybe she'll pay attention to me now...
11. Posted by auh2o on March 13, 2006 04:02 PM
Yeah, stuff is awesome. I like it.
12. Posted by Jeremy1Esq on March 13, 2006 04:12 PM
Monster was not much of a stretch for this chick. Yeah, she is good looking with the Hollywood makeup and clothes on, but get past the surface and the makeup and listen to that raspy cigarette smoking voice and she is very average in real life.
13. Posted by Jacq on March 13, 2006 04:16 PM
I never thought he was that cute anyway. She needed to find someone WAY better looking to marry when pigs fly.
14. Posted by Grphdesi23 on March 13, 2006 04:27 PM
She was DEFINITELY the MAN in the relationship.
15. Posted by Grphdesi23 on March 13, 2006 04:28 PM
No matter how beautiful a woman is, someone is sick of her shit.
16. Posted by Grphdesi23 on March 13, 2006 04:29 PM
Well, Stuart Townsend WAS on an epsiode of Will and Grace, so............
17. Posted by stacyrose on March 13, 2006 05:35 PM
I can see her more with someone like Keanu Reeves *sigh* Sweet November will always be in my heart.
18. Posted by HughJorganthethird on March 13, 2006 05:56 PM
Do women that beautifull even have to put out? Or do they just get naked and let you whack off while they read Vogue.
Just wonderin'
19. Posted by Gerald Tarrant on March 13, 2006 06:25 PM
Hey Hugh, that the relationship I have with Charlize right now. Except they are movie caps, and she's not really here.....
20. Posted by gogoboots on March 13, 2006 07:11 PM
When was she on Arrested Development? I thought that show was off the air already...
21. Posted by MeganHarris on March 13, 2006 07:16 PM
Pretty face. No boobs.
If you have no boobs, you need to weigh under 110 to be pretty.
Megan Harris rules.
22. Posted by honey on March 13, 2006 08:23 PM
#5, Bafongu..
COLD got to be- shiiiiit
23. Posted by Shovel00 on March 13, 2006 08:31 PM
actually Megan, you have to weigh under 110 to be pretty even with boobs, hence the "boobs on a stick" fantasy
24. Posted by marcantony on March 13, 2006 10:40 PM
#22
Golly
25. Posted by hafaball on March 13, 2006 11:32 PM
Compared to the real Aileen Wuornos, Theron was still hot. And I have no idea who Townshed is, so I'll just keep it at that.
26. Posted by gogoboots on March 13, 2006 11:52 PM
The boobs need to be fake then, therefore you can achieve the "boobs on a stick" fantasy. It can be done I tell you look at Linday Lohan or Angelina Jolie (before she was preggers of course).
27. Posted by madonnasponytail on March 14, 2006 02:22 AM
i adore charlize.
28. Posted by breakitdown on March 14, 2006 02:24 AM
charlize is a super hot female.. i also likes the big bow dress. she looks great in anything
29. Posted by annadisaster on March 14, 2006 09:30 AM
NOW I can make a move on Stuart. I'd get him dressed up and make him go Lestat on me.
I thought they were a cute couple though, shame like.
30. Posted by Topaz Vamp on March 14, 2006 01:58 PM
Megan Harris said "Pretty face. No boobs.
If you have no boobs, you need to weigh under 110 to be pretty."
Which is it? First you say she has a pretty face, then you say she has to be under 110, which she clearly is not, to be pretty.
31. Posted by Mr. Fritz on March 14, 2006 04:07 PM
#25, I agree with you. Charlize is hot. She is just following the lead of another Oscar winner, that horse faced chick from Million Dollar Baby. Get a less talented guy, win an Oscar for best actress, then dump the dude when you need the press. Still, she is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood.
32. Posted by up_north on March 15, 2006 02:21 PM
Hey guys, you're missing the point. The reason Monster is so compelling is that Charlize is much more attractive than that. Also the fact that she was willing to shed her glam image.
Cheers.
33. Posted by April on March 17, 2006 02:02 AM
#29, that's what I was thinking. Stuart Townsend was completely yummy as Lestat. He could bite me anyday.