December 23, 2005
Jessica Simpson hates her judge
Jessica Simpson apparently wants the judge assigned to her divorce case to be removed, and filed legal papers in Los Angeles on Wednesday that accuse him of being biased. Extra got their hands on the documents and they say: "The Judge is prejudiced against Petitioner (Jessica Simpson) and/or Petitioner's attorney. He and/or Petitioner cannot have a fair and impartial trial."
Don't read too much into it though, since a source says the papers filed were a formality and that Simpson and Lachey are in negotiations to have a private judge hear the case. Unfortunate, since I was picturing the judge leaning back in his chair after watching an episode of Newlyweds and then all of a sudden jumping out and pointing his finger at Jessica yelling, "You're fucking stupid! I sentence you to death!"
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Comments
1. Posted by ashscully on December 23, 2005 08:22 AM
When I was a kid, I remember my grandpa taking me on a walk through the woods. After we had walked for a while I asked him how we were going to find our way home. He said, "Simple, my boy, I've been dropping bread crumbs to leave a trail we can follow out." "But grandpa," I said, "won't the animals of the forrest eat the crumbs?" At this point he started to cry and ran off. I walked for what seemed like an eternity and eventually found my way to a truck stop and called my parents to pick me up. We never did find grandpa.
2. Posted by SkyeZ11 on December 23, 2005 08:29 AM
Ummm...am I missing the joke in that last comment? (Jessica Simpson's a smelly pirate hooker)
3. Posted by crabbyoldguy on December 23, 2005 10:46 AM
Hey Ashscully, your Grandpa is at our house - come pick him up soon, 'cause he's sort of creeping us out.
Thanks.
Oh...and I watched "The Simpsons" again last week - I still can't figure out which one is "Jessica".
D'oh!
4. Posted by Lynette Carrington on December 23, 2005 11:28 AM
I think Jessica is upset because the judge won't write in crayon and divide up the marital assets according to color groups.
5. Posted by ~S.Starr~ on December 23, 2005 12:01 PM
This just further proves that no good can come of a court case involving a SIMPSON...
6. Posted by joseph_m on December 23, 2005 12:30 PM
Hey, ashscully, it's ok, I still remember once when we were walking on the beach and I looked down and only saw one set of footprints. I started to cry and asked why you left me, and then you said, that you were there the whole time...
7. Posted by chibanii on December 23, 2005 04:46 PM
I wonder if Jessica is related to Homer.
They seem to share the same brain...
8. Posted by MacMac on December 23, 2005 07:49 PM
"I wonder if Jessica is related to Homer.
They seem to share the same brain..."
While funny, I disagree. One brain says, "Mmmm. Donut." *insert slobbery noise*
The other one says, "Mmmm. Smiling like a donut." *insert slobbery noise*
9. Posted by cap077 on December 23, 2005 10:26 PM
You know I saw an episode of Law and Order, where this same thing happened. Except it was a murder trial of a 10 year old and her mother was the accused. Oddly enough, the DA put forward a motion claiming the judge was biased (favoring the mother). After putting forward the motion, it just happens that the judge reviewed it and decided against it- and so the DA scratches her head and asks her boss "So a biased judge gets to decide if he is biased?" and the dude says "Basically, yes". OK, I know its hard to draw the parallel here, but if we apply the "Law and Order" case to the "Newlyweds" case then we can clearly see that I watch way too much tv.
10. Posted by sugarbullet on December 24, 2005 09:37 AM
hrm. i think jessica's punishment should be to put her in a labyrinth with a minotaur and signs that she has to actually read in order to get out. and no...daddy simpson cannot come with her. hrm. on second thought, maybe we should just feed her to the minotaur.
11. Posted by HollyGolightly on December 24, 2005 09:48 AM
cap077: Thank you for that. I needed a good laugh.
12. Posted by Jewbacca on December 24, 2005 11:00 PM
JESSICA HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH JEWBACCA AND NICK FOUND OUT, IM SORRY NICK BUT THAT KOOZE WAS TIGHT. I WORE IT OUT NOW, TOO BAD.