Archive for November, 2005

Paris Hilton has a shiny watch

November 30th, 2005 // 31 Comments

paris_hilton_watch.jpgParlux and Tourneau introduced the new Paris Hilton Limited Edition watch at an invitation only showing today and, at the request of Paris Hilton, will auction off the first watch created for Paris to benefit the Memorial Sloan Kettering for Breast Cancer Research.

Ilia Lekach, Chairman and CEO of Parlux, said, “I am very happy to be part of this charitable event, which allows us to introduce one of the finest time pieces ever created. This special white diamond-encrusted watch has been prepared with meticulous care and should serve as a source of considerable enjoyment for the wearer.”

It’s nice that Paris is thinking of all the breast cancer victims, but the watch they’re auctioning off is sort of a mess. Diamonds are nice and all, but sometimes when I look at a watch I actually want to be able to tell what time it is, and not have to close my eyes because the force of a thousand suns is blinding me.

Parlux and Tourneau Showcase the New Paris Hilton Watch [PRNewswire - Thanks Argyle!]

Posted Under:

Britney’s Baby is Jesus

November 30th, 2005 // 42 Comments

britney_thumb_1.jpgBritney Spears and Kevin Federline, pausing in their efforts to fill their swimming pool with beef jerky, have transformed their son Sean Preston’s bedroom into the nativity setting for his first Christmas. The gaudy decorations include six waxwork models and several life-size toy donkeys and cattle. Britney is so excited that she even bought a cherrywood style manger for her baby. A source close to Britney said, “It cost an absolute fortune. But at least she didn’t have to buy a baby Jesus – because Sean is playing the part.”

Considering that any baby’s Christmas list consists entirely of 1) food, 2) warmth, and 3) crapping everywhere, blowing thousands of dollars on worthless Christmas decorations seems kinda dumb. Britney could tape a cardboard box to his head and he’d be just as happy. Hell, Britney could tape a cardboard box to her own head and be just as happy. And if, instead of taping cardboard to her head, she taped herself to the underside of a bus, then I’d be just as happy. And then I’d cross off items 1 through 75 on my Christmas list.

Posted Under: ,

Tom Cruise likes to answer phones

November 30th, 2005 // 33 Comments

tcruise_phone.jpgA phone went off during a press conference for Mission: Impossible 3 in Shanghai today, and Tom Cruise apparently took it out of the reporter’s hands and started talking to the person on the other line.

When a reporter in the middle of a press conference took a phone call, the star reached over and removed the cell phone from the journalist’s hand

Posted Under:

Jude and Sienna Fighting over Christmas

November 30th, 2005 // 14 Comments

jude_sienna_thumb1.jpgJude Law and Sienna Miller have allegedly been arguing. In other news, Jenna Jameson was not a virgin on her wedding night.

It is understood they will spend the festive season apart because Sienna is filming Factory Girl in the US and Jude wants to spend time with his children.

Our spy reveals: “Sienna is angry and disappointed that she might not see Jude over Christmas. She’s made her feelings perfectly clear.

“She doesn’t seem to understand that Jude’s children have to take priority and it’s not all about her and what she wants to do. Jude has other responsibilities, but she seems to be trying to make him feel guilty.”"

I’m starting to get excited by these stories, because it’s only a matter of time before someone gets murdered. I’m putting my money on Sienna, since she seems to be carrying around a lot of rage, while Jude has the willowy physique of a malnourished twelve-year-old girl.

CHRISTMAS PARTED [The Mirror]

Posted Under: ,

Things Getting Ugly for Nick & Jessica

November 30th, 2005 // 28 Comments

simpson_lachey_split.jpgIf you thought that Nick & Jessica stories were over just because they’ve split up, think again. Apparently the two were so sure they’d be together forever that they didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement. And since Jessica made most of the money, with around $35 million just last year, she could end up paying Nick a mountain of cash. Therefore she’s hired divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who handled Angelina Jolie’s divorce from Billy Bob Thornton.

I have a feeling that Jessica had a lot less to do with hiring this lawyer than Joe Simpson, the Lex Luthor to Jessica’s Otis. Things are going to get very ugly. If Joe enjoys tormenting Nick as much as he enjoys ogling his daughters, then it’s only a matter of time before Nick ends up dead in a dumpster with a throng of Malaysian boy prostitutes.

BIG MISTAKE? [PageSix]

Posted Under:

Kate Moss still enjoys being naked

November 29th, 2005 // 34 Comments

THE KATE MOSS PLAN [Vogue]

Posted Under: ,
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next »