October 26, 2005

Paris Hilton and Tom Sizemore have met

Ever since Tom Sizemore claimed in his homemade sex tape, Tom Sizemore’s Sex Scandal, that he and Paris Hilton had sex when she seduced him in his home gym after a house party, Hilton has vehemently denied ever meeting the actor, let alone getting together with him to reenact a scene from the worst Red Shoe Diaries episode ever. But the distributor of the DVD, Vivid Video, has called Hilton's bluff and released a photo of the two, which they claim was taken at the party in question. Although it doesn't prove they slept together, it does prove that they can coexist in the same universe, and that's really all the proof I need to know God is dead and that he never really loved us.

There's a higher resolution photo after the jump, but I'd advise you not to click it. Because after I looked into Paris Hilton and Tom Sizemore's eyes at once, I passed out and woke up naked in a dumpster in Pittsburgh. And I'm not entirely certain, but I'm pretty sure that now my soul has herpes.

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