September 19, 2005
Cocaine is awesome
Britain's News of the World revealed today that Kate Moss, who just broke up with junkie "husband" Pete Doherty, has had a number of cocaine-fueled orgies, lesbian affairs, and - wait for it, wait for it - lesbian orgies. While high as a kite, she's been known to bed Sadie Frost, British television star Davinia Taylor, Sadie Frost and Davinia Taylor, and finally, Sadie Frost and former husband Jude Law.
Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Are you telling me that if I have an Alaskan winter's worth of white powder up my nose, supermodels and trampy actresses will have orgies with me? Because that's not what the former drug dealer that came to speak to our high school health class said. And... he wouldn't lie to us, would he? Would he? Oh man, no way. What about that reformed prostitute? Or that spunky quadriplegic? Or... Mr. Goldenberg? Not Mr. Goldenberg! He taught us to believe in ourselves!
Um. If you'll excuse me, I have to go do some blow, have sex with some Johns, and recklessly dive into a pool of shallow water. Apparently high school was full of lies, and when I'm high, I actually am invincible.
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Comments
1. Posted by Tommy Cruise on September 19, 2005 04:24 PM
If I was a lesbian, I'd do her. During an orgy. For sure.
2. Posted by WTFweretheythinking? on September 19, 2005 04:28 PM
Anyone know where I can buy some cocaine?
3. Posted by vercat on September 19, 2005 04:32 PM
i have got to start doing cocaine :)
4. Posted by Penis McVagina on September 19, 2005 04:42 PM
I do cocaine and I've never had sex with Kate Moss. What gives?
5. Posted by jon on September 19, 2005 05:10 PM
Once, she had sex with a female tramp right infront of me just because i told her i had some blow. I can prove it's true, it's just my brothers friend Dave has the tape.
6. Posted by carriebradshaw on September 19, 2005 05:19 PM
Ditto WFTweretheythinking, seriously, how can someone score some, say, if they were interested? I've got a friend who asked me to ask, yeah, a friend.
7. Posted by robinz on September 19, 2005 05:36 PM
Pics? :D
8. Posted by seminole on September 19, 2005 05:57 PM
for some reason, Kate Moss never interested me much.
but now I'm intrigued.
9. Posted by sparkydingle on September 19, 2005 07:24 PM
Kate moss is funny looking, I think she'd have to give me a mountain of blow to rub my face in before I'd go down on her.
10. Posted by mac2048 on September 19, 2005 07:28 PM
I feel that I would break her during our lesbian orgy... but I'd still be willing to give it a go.
11. Posted by celeb_hater on September 19, 2005 08:21 PM
too bad she hasn't od'd yet. I was really interested in knowing who'd play her in the made for tv movie. We know it can't Be Angelina Jolie, she already played the junkie model in Gia.
12. Posted by HillaryYoung on September 19, 2005 10:39 PM
Blowcaine makes you a lesbian whore... Good to know.
13. Posted by smurf on September 19, 2005 11:08 PM
Hahaha, you think she got that skinny by doing Pilates? Cracker please.
14. Posted by sweet as sugar on September 19, 2005 11:42 PM
So can Sadie really be that haughty about the whole nanny thing? Yes, Jude may have been banging the nanny while her children were around, but she was having lesbian orgies with coked up supermodels while they were asleep . . .nice parents. No therapy will be needed for those kids--nah.
15. Posted by Kangascoop on September 20, 2005 12:36 AM
See are you guys all British? Because I think that only works with Brit-Coke. I have tried every substance known to man on my lady friends (usually slipped into their Denny's Grandslam while they are in the ladies rooms), and too date I have not had one sex filled lesbian orgy. I suppose my being a girl would help...and a lesbian...
Damn my manhood.
16. Posted by AmberDextrose on September 20, 2005 06:19 AM
It's totally true: Mr Charlie = lesbian orgies! I only tried it once and ended up in bed with this mental Italian girl. Then I shagged her boyfy whilst she had his mate! Nothing going up my snout now, no sirree!
A mate of mine in London hangs out on the fringes of that Mossy/Frost set and she says that Mossy's daughter is actually Jude Law's and not her ex-fiance's. I didn't believe it at first because of the Moss/Frost best mates thing, but now it makes sense!
17. Posted by CapnAwesome on September 20, 2005 07:59 AM
Cocaine is all fun and games until you're Gary Busey.
-not Gary Busey
18. Posted by Ms. Dilligaff on September 20, 2005 09:55 AM
*Gasp* A model doing coke?
19. Posted by borictor on September 20, 2005 04:34 PM
it's a hell of a drug!
20. Posted by CastIronBitch on September 22, 2005 12:36 AM
Man, I barely knew who this chick was until she started doing drugs.
I'm a straighter woman than the day is long, but somehow...I'm intrigued...
The idea of that many beautiful people in one bed...hot damn.
21. Posted by bryansbaby on September 25, 2005 03:22 PM
And tell me, who exactly was surprised by the "news" that Kate Moss snorts cocaine?
22. Posted by Queen LaQueefah on September 26, 2005 04:11 PM
I just want to commend Kate Moss on such skillful blow-snorting skills. It's hard to see the lines when your eyes are placed on either side of your head like a fish, so she's obviously a pro