May 31, 2005

Jennifer Aniston is losing it

I’m unbelievably foxy. I’m also hilarious and the son of an oil baron, so none of my supermodel girlfriends have ever broken up with me. And that’s why I totally can’t relate to the mental breakdown Jennifer Anniston is having while watching her still-husband Brad Pitt span the globe in a sexy way with Angelina Jolie. But apparently it’s kind of killing her. And she hasn’t even seen them make out in Mr. And Mrs. Smith yet, in scenes so hot that the director is worried it will inspire boycotts. From something he calls “huge Jennifer Aniston fans”. I wouldn’t really worry about that, cause “huge Jennifer Aniston fans” means they probably watch Friends, which means they just barely don’t need to be lead around on a leash and are mostly guys downloading fake Courtney Cox nudes while sitting on a saddle dressed in a bra and panties or girls too busy dressing up their cat Colonel Mittens to put together any kind of coherent protest.

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