February 15, 2005

Britney Spears is fat

Thanks to Suzie for sending in these horrifying images of Britney Spears and adding five minutes to my masturbating tonight. And thanks to Britney too. It’s nice to see you smoking and drinking in front of your core audience of 12 year old girls. Maybe later you can go to Disneyland and rip off Mickey’s head. Or, you know what, fuck it, just go ahead and slaughter a unicorn right there on the deck. Dance in it's blood. Those kids are gonna cry themselves to sleep tonight anyway, why not just take thier innocence once and for all.

And, nobody asked, but these were taken at the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey, where I used to work until they fired me for being too handsome. I’m not really sure why she would be hanging out there, but I don’t have a good explanation for why she put on two hundred pounds either.

More after the jump, even a high-res, which you probably think you want to see, but trust me, you don’t.

You can see even more of this gallery here, at what appears to be a Britney fan site, which completely fuckin baffles me. By the way, when you're so in love with cigarettes you don't even put them down to go swimming, it might be time for the patch.

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