Whitney Port in a bikini

July 20th, 2009 // 64 Comments

Here’s Whitney Port hitting South Beach yesterday while taking time off from her Hills spin-off The City. Anyone else read the words “Hills spin-off” and reflexively try to give yourself a vasectomy because, God forbid, you bring a child into this insanely fucked up world? Or was that just me? Also, really starting to wish I didn’t use a spork. But it was handy. MEDIC!


  1. HAHAH!! FIRST!!!


  2. Pat

    Nice bruises.

  3. Erica

    LOL that black fuzz looks like her pubes are growing out of her bikini bottoms.

  4. dedalus

    Classy bruises…
    No tits, no ass, no go.

  5. Rock Steady

    She’s hot but that black fringe is NOT flattering… like a nasty giant bush is about to gobble up that bikini.

  6. Take it all bitch

    Yes the bruises shape mysteriously like fingerprints screams class.

    At the same time it makes the desire to pound her in half even more.

    If some guy is holding on to you so tight that he is leaving bruises…you might be a wild and fantastic fuck.

    I think it’s time for a trip out to Miami and hang around South Beach for awhile.

  7. JayOne

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Dude, you KILL ME!!!! Please do stand-up!

  8. badruffle

    that ruffle was a bad choice, wasn’t it. it does really look like bush.

    but – no tits? for someone thin and without implants, in that style of swim suit (which could make anyone look smaller chested), she actually has some decent sized knockers.

    no ass? yes. you are right there, but at least its not lumpy.

    overall a nice body, shape, weight, etc.

    and her face is pretty.

  9. Casey

    Why does it seem to be that she always has bruises?

  10. Juh

    Serious design problems in that bikini.

  11. Wow Whitney enjoying summer break while paparazzi enjoying taking picture.

    stretch mark removal

  12. Fucking ugly. Not hot at all. The bikini bottom makes her look like an Armenian with a black pube rug that can’t be contained.

  13. Dirk Diggler

    #3, I came here to say the same thing.

  14. Taz

    id pump her

  15. Buell

    Are you serious? You find this girl attractive? Please…

  16. Throbbing Meat Pipe

    That’s what a bitch should look like. Que all the fatties talking about 12 year old boys and high standards. You are NOT supposed to look like Serena Williams you disgusting pigs. Run to the fridge and drown your sorrows until hubby gets back from work.

  17. DP Trainer

    I see some underboob in picture one.

  18. My dick would sprout arms and tenaciously hold onto my thigh, screaming in horror, if I told it to fuck her…

    Actually, that’s not very believable… because I meant my shins… it would hold onto my shins…

  19. Maggie May

    Lmao!!! now thats hilarious

  20. JC

    those black ruffles on the bikini bottoms look like a GIANT BLACK BUSH trying to come out… lol

  21. jesus

    gawd what a sloppy old ass she has. i’d hit it….

  22. Is that fur or her bush poking out of her bikini??

  23. Deacon Jones

    Nice body.

    FISH, try to dig the video up of Erin Andrews from ESPN – she was taped by a peeping tom in her hotel room with a spy cam.

    “I’d buy that for a dollar!”

  24. very.very.observant

    Same weird ass as the lohan…like I told LiLo, ‘I’ll pass’.

  25. Jay Gatsby

    Nice Rolex lol

  26. Jon

    Clearly I’m not the only pervert who reads the site as I am apparently the 5th person in the first 25 comments to say that her bikini bottom makes it look like she has a giant 70′s bush.

  27. Wow!

    Sex is no good unless you’re bruised up afterwards. Am I right? Yes I’m right.

  28. v sexy female

  29. v sexy female

  30. Wow!

    @ 18…HAHAHA! Nice.

  31. Ill bet she can carry twins on her upper hip with no distress, they wont even slide down…other than that she looks swell…Whitney is a port!

  32. ken bodine

    I agree with #20 – first glance at those ruffles and I thought WTF!? There’s somebody who needs a waxing

  33. Duuude

    @23… It is not that hard to find. If you know how to use torrents you should be ok. EA is sooo fucking hot. She does not disappoint.

  34. The Jerk

    Nice, just what I wanted to see this morning..saggy tits and bruises on her thighs. Thank you SF.com for posting more useless pictures of these whores from THE HILLS. You can stop it now.

  35. AmericanWhiteTrash

    No ass

  36. RtSS

    I’d bend her over like in image #17, and drill her until she was wet and screaming for more. Then I’d dig deep into that dirt tunnel of hers. She’s a fine POA.

  37. RtSS

    After ‘reviewing’ these images, that has to be the ugliest bathing suit ever. How the heck can you have money coming out the Whaazooo, and go into some store, and say… “Oh, this suit is so cute, I think I’ll buy it…”? How does that happen? Those bruises look like finger / grab marks from when someone was scrogging her from behind. Good to know she likes it rough in the poopchute.

  38. toobroketoeat

    Looks like a young Uma Thurman.. Flabby tits and ass, but a nice lay no doubt!


  39. Erik

    I love the fingermark bruises from when she gets folded up by a pretzel and is railed.

  40. ballsack

    looks like she really needs a wax!

  41. ballsack

    looks like she really needs a wax!

  42. titsonsnack

    #39 I’m trying to picture someone getting folded up by a pretzel, it’s kind of interesting.
    LOL Fagz, u like to imagine other doods having sex.

  43. Tom K

    Fucking nasty! She looks like she is 80 yrs old. What are those on her upper thigh liver spots. Ugly!

  44. Darth

    Shouldn’t she get a good shave? Her pubic hair is growing out of her bikini panties.

  45. Rhialto

    Somethign tells me that this girl isn’t a natural blonde.

  46. pirhan

    A black lined bikini bottom is not the best of ideas…

  47. Galtacticus

    It’s no wonder that women were wearing long legged swimming wear about a century ago.

  48. Disgruntlordd

    Any Port in a storm my friends.

  49. Gando

    What’s Abraham Lincoln doing in her panties?

  50. ETphonehome

    She looks like Borat’s sister from the waist down…NNIIICCCEE!!!!

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