Russell Brand shoots down Lindsay Lohan

July 13th, 2009 // 51 Comments

Despite an on/off relationship with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan reportedly attempted to hook up with Russell Brand last weekend at Diddy and Ashton Kutcher’s Fourth of July party. Surprisingly, Russell turned her down even though he has a reputation for fucking pretty much anything in sight including a ton of prostitutes in Vegas Saturday night on Diddy’s private jet. The Sun reports:

A source said: “Lindsay is a very good-looking girl and she is used to getting what she wants. Russell has been on her radar for a while now but he doesn’t want anything to do with her. He finds her constant craving for attention and her heavy drinking a turn-off. It’s not like he is short of female attention anyway.”
The comic jetted to Las Vegas with P Diddy yesterday and on a video blog, filmed en-route on the rapper’s private plane, the pair joked that they would be using the services of some ladies of the night.

Jesus. Getting shot down by Russell Brand? That’s like having a dildo sprout legs and say “Hell no, lady” before jamming itself in a light socket. Or Paris Hilton. Same diff.

superficial

  1. Matthew

    first and Hohan is at it again! again I like to call an vote to banned miss hohan just like duche and miss douchebag here on the fish!

  2. adfaf

    first

  3. erica

    lohan’s cute

  4. “That’s like having a dildo sprout legs and say “Hell no, lady” before jamming itself in a light socket. Or Paris Hilton. Same diff.”

    LMAO!!! sooooo funny.

  5. He wouldn’t turn down Jessica Simpson.

    I’m just sayin’…

  6. your Bedazzler (TM)

    That’s because she’d compete with HIS constant craving for attention. Hello, Kettle? It’s Pot. You’re black.

    To his credit, he seems to have kicked the drugs and drink habits, though…

  7. LL

    “Lindsay is a very good-looking girl ”

    According too who for fucks sake!!

    Good and looking are two words that should never be used in the same sentences as Lindsay Lohan!

    Better looking 2 dollar skanks on every street corner!

  8. radio_babylon

    “That’s like having a dildo sprout legs and say “Hell no, lady” before jamming itself in a light socket. Or Paris Hilton. Same diff.”

    not QUITE the same. the light socket would be a clean death.

  9. blur

    No way. Didn’t happen.

  10. Chimaya

    Yeah, I call BS on this story simply because that scumbag would screw anything that moved.

  11. mary

    I don’t know number 7…don’t hear much about Russel and his constant craving of attention, I do not know…but Lindsay Lohan, when she says something like she is the hardest working person she knows…to me saying something as stupid as this and not accurate is beyond craving for attention, it’s desperate need of attention…with all due respect, I do not think that Russel Brand is quite there yet.

    Don’t have much respect for somebody like Lohan who has been given many chances many times to put her career back on track and did not! I think she isn’t very smart (blaming the parents of course) and she is not doing anything in order to become smarter. I honestly think she should go back to school to at least try to get her brain working…well at least a little bit.

  12. mary

    I don’t know number 7…don’t hear much about Russel and his constant craving of attention, I do not know…but Lindsay Lohan, when she says something like she is the hardest working person she knows…to me saying something as stupid as this and not accurate is beyond craving for attention, it’s desperate need of attention…with all due respect, I do not think that Russel Brand is quite there yet.

    Don’t have much respect for somebody like Lohan who has been given many chances many times to put her career back on track and did not! I think she isn’t very smart (blaming the parents of course) and she is not doing anything in order to become smarter. I honestly think she should go back to school to at least try to get her brain working…well at least a little bit.

  13. uh

    I think Russell Brand is into curvy girls. I saw him on Kimmel with Christina Hendricks (the redhead in Mad Men in case any of you watch good TV) and he was ogling her the whole time.

    And I mean, how would he and Lindsay hook up. It would be like, two people that are skin and bones…uh….

  14. Christina

    He’s probably already been there – Crap Shag?

  15. Hammertime

    @7: “To his credit, he seems to have kicked the drugs and drink habits, though…”

    I wouldn’t be so sure… check out that bottle he’s smuggling around in picture #5.

  16. Champ

    she’s grosser every fucking day.

  17. dirk

    Gee, they’d make such a great stinky, filthy zombie couple too. Damn.

  18. Anon

    Wow.

    Russell Brand doesn’t turn anything with a vagina down.
    He’d even say yes to the female posters on here.

    That’s got to hurt her ego something rotten.

  19. Tom K

    That was fucking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Superficial writer is getting funny. A+ for that.

    Lindsay is so pathetic!

  20. Tom K

    That was fucking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Superficial writer is getting funny. A+ for that.

    Lindsay is so pathetic!

  21. Alison

    Wow! What a meeting of the minds. I would love to see it, though. It would make for a future of fun at thesuperficial.
    Didn’t mixing coke and heroin kill Belushi?

  22. please stop putting that nasty meth whore on here

  23. anon

    those are the stupidest, ugliest boot things i have ever seen

  24. Hips

    Russel has child bearing hips.

  25. your Bedazzler (TM)

    #’s 12 and 13- If you knew him from the UK, or had read his book, you’d realize that he’s a publicity whore in his own mind; certainly. He just hasn’t convinced the U.S. media yet… but, that being said, your point is very well taken.
    (although, perhaps our exchange is just exactly what the cunning devil had in mind getting himself linked to her in the first place? Alas, I may only guess…)

    # 16 Surely you understood the ironic implications of my statement? Ketttle/Pot….

  26. Initial_G

    Oh you know this is made up when its starts off with “the source” describing LL as ” very good-looking girl and she is used to getting what she wants.”

    Yeah maybe back in 2004 before she pissed off Tina Fey and became Hollywood blacklisted.

    LL had to have pissed off Tina cause her career was hot up until Mean Girls. Then it nosedive faster than LL going after a dropped crack rock.

  27. your Bedazzler (TM)

    #25! Bwahahahahahaha!

    Does anyone care to wager on Russel’s impending girth?

  28. netstarman

    Even Russel won’t tap her ass, thats funny even he knows not to jump it with out wearing a hefty bag for a condom. Smart guy . Poor Lindsey she can’t get her kitty scratched.

  29. michael jackson's brain

    He has to be gay. No straight guy would wear clothes so tight. How does he breathe with those jeans painted on him?

  30. I would, turn Lilo down too, just to help her make up her mind on how serious she is in licking twats…its got to be humiliating for Lilo (if its true) to be turn down by someone who wears high heels than her….

  31. Shawn

    Russell is basically Samantha Ronson with a penis. It makes sense lindsay would go after him. Lindsay wasnt a real lesbo anyway.

    @ #30

    Russell is british, they all seem gay.

  32. Shawn

    Russell is basically Samantha Ronson with a penis. It makes sense lindsay would go after him. Lindsay wasnt a real lesbo anyway.

    @ #30

    Russell is british, they all seem gay.

  33. robert

    Wow, Russell Brand seems like the type who’d bang a girl with ebola. Did ole’ firecrotch pick up something new that we don’t know about?

  34. lulz

    hahaha. I love Russell all over again.

  35. Ding dong the witch is dead

    “very good looking”? Must be someone else then.
    I can only say one thing: Run, Russell, run as far as possible from this nasty freckled whore!

  36. Nathiest

    Why in fuck did you assholes decide to post this hear say bullshit?

  37. What the hell is she wearing on her pasty-ass legs? It looks like she went to Walmart and bought some decorative lawn fencing and wrapped it around her legs…And she got shot down by Russell Brand.

  38. Hayden Brooks

    Maybe Lindsay was on so much drugs she mistook Russell for a lesbian.

  39. Yank and wank they rhyme for a reason

    @33 from the country that produced Michael Jackson, ironic.
    So glad Russell turned down this ugly untalented Attention whore.

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  41. joah

    Lol he banged Kate Moss, but wont touch her. Ouch.

    PIN PIN!

  42. #40 – Shut it, limey! Shouldn’t you be out continuing Princess Di’s good work by running through militarized zones and checking for land mines?

  43. Rhialto

    I don’t think Lilo couldn’t sleep because of this.There’re lots of guys who aren’t sexual attracked to her.That isn’t a big deal.

  44. Gando

    Do we want to be sexual favored by everybody? I’d rather not.Creeps.

  45. Who’s Lindsey Lohan?

  46. satnswombat

    I don’t buy it.

    That suppurating pus pole would fuck a slash in the sofa and lick out an ashtray if a pube landed on it.

    A mere force ten crotch withering disease field wouldn’t even slow him down.

    Which reminds me – can someone over there feed this bitch? I keep thinking skeletor got cancer and having sympathy pangs.

    satanswombat

  47. Max

    Good story. I can’t believe I read every one of these comments. Wish we would all get a life and stop thinking about all of these attention starved neurotics.

    But #47 you gave me a good laugh, so it was all worth it.

  48. POTUS

    “Lindsay is a very good-looking girl …” I agree with #37, the artical here is nothing more then hear-say. Fish, you need to do a better job in the future.

  49. Chaim Paddaman

    Shalom
    Hollywood is going cold turkey on pork. Tinseltown is even importing sleaze from the United Kingdom. Russel Brand does Brand Hollywood no Favours. He is known in the United Kingdom for his Anti social and bizzare behaviour. He harrassed and abused an old gentleman. There was a public outcry in the press at the time. Million dollar question is, how did he meet the requirements for his green card? Please view my video, Chaim Paddaman: If Pigs could fly, Hollywood would be an Airport. Peyronnes Disease holds dire consequences for an industry where “payment in kind” is made in doodle. Horny David Letterman is in a position to validate this Big Bang Theory. The shit hits the fan. Disaster strikes on the casting couch. It is comedy of outrageous proportions. Give it a go. It is part of the Chaim Paddaman supports the Big Bang Theory on CBS. (Tag) It is Jewish tongue in cheek humour.

    Chaim Paddaman

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