Megan Fox’s ass is awesome and other news

- Artie Lange was busted for DUI this afternoon. Wow. It took that long to pick this guy up for driving under the influence? Was the officer feeling lazy today or something? “Hmm… One ticket short. What’s Artie Lange doing?” [PopEater]

- Angelina Jolie flew Shiloh and Zahara on her private plane making her the coolest mom ever. Until she pulls a JFK Jr. — Too soon? [Just Jared]

- Lindsay Lohan continues to be a walking object lesson on the dangers of snorting blow then Tweeting. [Lainey Gossip]

- Paris Hilton showed up in court today to defend herself against a lawsuit that she didn’t properly promote National Lampoon’s Pledge This! I don’t get it. Paris Hilton disassociating herself is probably the best thing she could’ve done for this movie. Short of literally dying in the middle of it. [The Blemish]

- David Beckham named his son after Tom Cruise. I’m going to assume this was the only way to rebuff his advances. Nothing like the ol’ “How about we not have butt sex and I name my kid after you?” maneuver. Works every time. [Celebslam]

- Rachael Ray underwent vocal chord surgery and will be unable to speak for a few weeks. But she can still cook and therefore should marry me provided she agrees not too seek alimony in the divorce next month. [ICYDK]

- Joe Simpson wants Ashlee to make an album of Michael Jackson covers. Wow. I didn’t think this guy could do anything worse than be obsessed with his daughters’ breasts, but hats off to you Joe. You pulled it off. [PopSugar]

Photos: Flynet