Brooke Hogan lumbers about and other news

July 9th, 2009 // 48 Comments

- Hayden Panettiere does Details magazine yet doesn’t flash her panties which officially proves Emma Watson is the improved model of cyborgs sent from the future to harness my love. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Gwyneth Paltrow claims she was “fat” last month and used her “Clean” detoxification process to shed the weight. I’m now convinced this woman isn’t insipid. Just goddamn insane. [Lainey Gossip]

- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie try to pretend their preferred methods of conveyance isn’t a child-powered rickshaw. [I’m Not Obsessed]

- Katie Holmes is showing emotion again. I guess somebody didn’t check the batteries in her shock collar. Suri. [Celebslam]

- Jennifer Aniston continues trying to make Brad jealous by starring in a Mr. and Mrs. Smith rip-off with Gerard Butler who’s just along to spelunk the legendary Ice Crevasse. [PopSugar]

- Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson plan to adopt which normally I’d say is admirable, but let’s not pretend Scarlett’s breasts aren’t a vital part of the gene pool. In fact, I’m pretty sure they can cure cancer, so I volunteer myself to reproduce with her. For humanity’s sake. [Just Jared]

superficial

  1. mondo

    brooke hogan scares me and kind of turns me on at the same time

  2. mondo

    that’s how you do first without saying first

  3. mondo270

    third too?

  4. Albin Bainbridge

    In the words of Lil Wayne: Damn she bad, damn she thick.

  5. Tad Bit Tipsy

    Damn, girl looks like she could almost bench press…. my cock.

  6. she looks just like her gold digging, trailer trash, whore of a mom. her thickness does kind of interest me though

  7. diddleysquat

    those meaty legs are givin me a hulking boner

  8. oermens

    in #4 she really looks like a tranny. cover up everything below the neck and tell me thats not a man.

  9. oermens

    but then she takes off her glasses and shes a woman (or at least less of a man)… what is this the transexual equivalent of clark kent?

  10. AmericanWhiteTrash

    A line backer in a wig.

  11. uh Uh UH! Yeah

    > let’s not pretend Scarlett’s breasts aren’t a vital part of the gene pool.

    Once silicone become part of human DNA, maybe. until then, go look at the titties and ass in Lost in Translation. they seem to have grown in leaps and bounds, and please don’t give me the ‘she was young and grew into them’ line.

  12. dude_on

    One can only hope she has the decency not to prey on drunks at closing time.

  13. Hill

    Robert Crumb’s dream girl

  14. BitchPlease

    There’s no doubting she’ll be her mamas’ girl.She already looks like Mom(and not in agood way, manly, like her dad as a girl). Pretty soon she’ll be a fat grotesque girl/MAN. Beware the Hogan tranny genes. Her brother’s a bigger girl!

  15. BitchPlease

    The only fat things on Gwyneth are her fucking mouth and ego.
    Ah-Ah-Ah-SKANK

  16. say yes to anorexia

    When you have those genes, the only thing left to do is starve yourself.

  17. K

    Clear heels? Really?

  18. Zippy the Wonder Slug

    I want her. Is that bad?

  19. Venom

    Brooke, I think it is time to go into the ring.
    Time to reignite your father’s legacy.

  20. Yes

    “Lumbering” is the best word to describe her locomotion. I could even hear the “TROMP TROMP TROMP” in my head looking at those pictures.

  21. sarah

    girl needs to learn how to dress… omg brooke why?? look at the girl in pic 14, lil sarah silverman… u see brookes body isnt that much wider than hers… but the awful pink dress showcasing her monster thighs??? NO!!!

    no love handles is good tho. at least u work out

    but keep it low key… thighs to a minimum, trust me… shoulders covered!!!

  22. rick

    While she’s well made, she’s not sexy at all.

  23. Rich

    I would love to see her & another girl undress each other & have them fuck each other with strapons, that would be so hot.

  24. Rich

    I would love to see her & another girl undress each other & have them fuck each other with strapons, that would be so hot.

  25. captain america

    THIS THIRTY NINE YEAR OLD IS STILL ACTING LIKE A TWENTY ONE YEAR STARLET, folks.
    …………………sickmaking?
    weel, MORE TO SAY SAD if AMERICANS ARE EAGER TO REACH THE SPOTLIGHTS LIKE THIS!!

  26. jojo

    her and Britney are really starting to look alike – no style, no class and both chunky white trash!

  27. jane

    She is beautiful..and I heard she has meet the gentalmen whom she is dating with on a

    site ^^^cougar matching . co m^^^ on that
    site, there are some of her hot pictures and the wordings show she needs a soulmate in a

    hurry.

  28. chuck

    dude i had to dictionary the word “insipid” … first time i had to ever look up a word.. hah

  29. crush

    Those thighs would crush my cock…. but it would be fun trying to slide my stiffy into her gigantic wet patch.

    ……………….\m/ \m/ …………………………..

  30. Bomber Fish

    Just LOOK at those legs!! Yummy!!! They’re freakin’ perfect.

  31. Darth

    I almost didn’t rcognize her and i had to look twice but did she lose some weight?

  32. Nero

    How much would she ask? $20?

  33. Aerialgreen

    No matter how nice this amazon woman might be in “real life” someone is laughing at her back for convincing of wearing those sausage casings, It’s cringe inducing shit right here.

    Seriously, what, if anything, suits for her figure? come on people, whip out those PhD’s and bring Broke a hope of light to the darkness of her genetic $3.99 pool.

  34. I found a great site “”"”"B l a c k W h i t e L o v i n gDoTc O m “”"”"” It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a sexy beauties and even hot celebs and make it true!

  35. Is this a bad angle? how do you be this thick with no azz???

  36. mikeock

    I bet she’s ripped dicks right out of the socket. Fucking She-Hulk.

  37. She is so sexy as like her mom.

  38. StEvec

    someone said thick ? how about fat ? what a cow she is….ready for the WWE tag team with her cartoon-faced dad

  39. Ian

    That’s got to be a tranny.

  40. Christina

    attractive but i mean somethings just off. how can she have no ass? her bottom half is very masculine? and her chin is too chinny for me..
    But shes got nice blonde hair and a tight figure.
    Um i would say nice breasts but, theyre just god awful..

  41. Racer X

    I’d fuck her for 2 days straight.

  42. berlinista

    In the first pictures she looks as if she has a shaved beard….see that greyish shadow around her mouth? Strange…someone applied some little photoshop action to make her look manlier? Also what´s with the chin in pics #2 to #6??? Well, not everyone enjoys the blessing of their parents genes…but come on girl, get some class!

  43. Toolboy

    Brooke, Serena Williams and Khloe Kardashian are going to be in a spin off of Charlie’s Angels called Charlie’s Sasquatches.

  44. The only thing real on Brooke “Hogan” is that she’s a real idiot.

  45. whattheshit

    Kind of reminds me of that video of sasquatch from the 70′s, only sasquatch is blond, tan and covered in pink Lycra.

  46. chupacabra

    oh my god, I’m eating kielbasa and sauerkraut, and looking at the pic with her flip flops on, I’m almost barfed. NOT DURING LUNCH!

  47. Jill

    I hate when girls toes hang over the end of their shoes..gross.. it screams “stripper”.. go buy shoes that fit..

  48. @47 I think she’s like a size 12… and no, I don’t mean her cock.

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