Brooke Hogan lumbers about and other news

July 9th, 2009 // 48 Comments

- Hayden Panettiere does Details magazine yet doesn’t flash her panties which officially proves Emma Watson is the improved model of cyborgs sent from the future to harness my love. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Gwyneth Paltrow claims she was “fat” last month and used her “Clean” detoxification process to shed the weight. I’m now convinced this woman isn’t insipid. Just goddamn insane. [Lainey Gossip]

- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie try to pretend their preferred methods of conveyance isn’t a child-powered rickshaw. [I'm Not Obsessed]

- Katie Holmes is showing emotion again. I guess somebody didn’t check the batteries in her shock collar. Suri. [Celebslam]

- Jennifer Aniston continues trying to make Brad jealous by starring in a Mr. and Mrs. Smith rip-off with Gerard Butler who’s just along to spelunk the legendary Ice Crevasse. [PopSugar]

- Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson plan to adopt which normally I’d say is admirable, but let’s not pretend Scarlett’s breasts aren’t a vital part of the gene pool. In fact, I’m pretty sure they can cure cancer, so I volunteer myself to reproduce with her. For humanity’s sake. [Just Jared]

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BROOKE HOGAN GETS A QUALITY DATE AND MORE: WRESTLING RELATED NETFLIX STREAMING UPDATES
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A meeting that wasn't, the Big 12, Dr. Seuss and a Hose tribute
Raised some eyebrows. Kind of like if Brooke Hogan held a seminar on the evils of reality TV. But never fear, Mountaineers fans. "They didn't have one," said WVU coach Bob Huggins. "That's just Truck." Bryant has been part of WVU's ongoing problems.

Comments (48)

  1. mondo | July 9, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    brooke hogan scares me and kind of turns me on at the same time

    Reply
  2. mondo | July 9, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    that’s how you do first without saying first

    Reply
  3. mondo270 | July 9, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    third too?

    Reply
  4. Albin Bainbridge | July 9, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    In the words of Lil Wayne: Damn she bad, damn she thick.

    Reply
  5. Tad Bit Tipsy | July 9, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    Damn, girl looks like she could almost bench press…. my cock.

    Reply
  6. jacob | July 9, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    she looks just like her gold digging, trailer trash, whore of a mom. her thickness does kind of interest me though

    Reply
  7. diddleysquat | July 9, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    those meaty legs are givin me a hulking boner

    Reply
  8. oermens | July 9, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    in #4 she really looks like a tranny. cover up everything below the neck and tell me thats not a man.

    Reply
  9. oermens | July 9, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    but then she takes off her glasses and shes a woman (or at least less of a man)… what is this the transexual equivalent of clark kent?

    Reply
  10. AmericanWhiteTrash | July 9, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    A line backer in a wig.

    Reply
  11. uh Uh UH! Yeah | July 9, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    > let’s not pretend Scarlett’s breasts aren’t a vital part of the gene pool.

    Once silicone become part of human DNA, maybe. until then, go look at the titties and ass in Lost in Translation. they seem to have grown in leaps and bounds, and please don’t give me the ‘she was young and grew into them’ line.

    Reply
  12. dude_on | July 9, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    One can only hope she has the decency not to prey on drunks at closing time.

    Reply
  13. Hill | July 9, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Robert Crumb’s dream girl

    Reply
  14. BitchPlease | July 9, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    There’s no doubting she’ll be her mamas’ girl.She already looks like Mom(and not in agood way, manly, like her dad as a girl). Pretty soon she’ll be a fat grotesque girl/MAN. Beware the Hogan tranny genes. Her brother’s a bigger girl!

    Reply
  15. BitchPlease | July 9, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    The only fat things on Gwyneth are her fucking mouth and ego.
    Ah-Ah-Ah-SKANK

    Reply
  16. say yes to anorexia | July 9, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    When you have those genes, the only thing left to do is starve yourself.

    Reply
  17. K | July 9, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    Clear heels? Really?

    Reply
  18. Zippy the Wonder Slug | July 9, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    I want her. Is that bad?

    Reply
  19. Venom | July 9, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    Brooke, I think it is time to go into the ring.
    Time to reignite your father’s legacy.

    Reply
  20. Yes | July 9, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    “Lumbering” is the best word to describe her locomotion. I could even hear the “TROMP TROMP TROMP” in my head looking at those pictures.

    Reply
  21. sarah | July 9, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    girl needs to learn how to dress… omg brooke why?? look at the girl in pic 14, lil sarah silverman… u see brookes body isnt that much wider than hers… but the awful pink dress showcasing her monster thighs??? NO!!!

    no love handles is good tho. at least u work out

    but keep it low key… thighs to a minimum, trust me… shoulders covered!!!

    Reply
  22. rick | July 10, 2009 at 12:14 am

    While she’s well made, she’s not sexy at all.

    Reply
  23. Rich | July 10, 2009 at 12:38 am

    I would love to see her & another girl undress each other & have them fuck each other with strapons, that would be so hot.

    Reply
  24. Rich | July 10, 2009 at 12:39 am

    I would love to see her & another girl undress each other & have them fuck each other with strapons, that would be so hot.

    Reply
  25. captain america | July 10, 2009 at 12:58 am

    THIS THIRTY NINE YEAR OLD IS STILL ACTING LIKE A TWENTY ONE YEAR STARLET, folks.
    …………………sickmaking?
    weel, MORE TO SAY SAD if AMERICANS ARE EAGER TO REACH THE SPOTLIGHTS LIKE THIS!!

    Reply
  26. jojo | July 10, 2009 at 1:32 am

    her and Britney are really starting to look alike – no style, no class and both chunky white trash!

    Reply
  27. jane | July 10, 2009 at 1:33 am

    She is beautiful..and I heard she has meet the gentalmen whom she is dating with on a

    site ^^^cougar matching . co m^^^ on that
    site, there are some of her hot pictures and the wordings show she needs a soulmate in a

    hurry.

    Reply
  28. chuck | July 10, 2009 at 1:53 am

    dude i had to dictionary the word “insipid” … first time i had to ever look up a word.. hah

    Reply
  29. crush | July 10, 2009 at 2:19 am

    Those thighs would crush my cock…. but it would be fun trying to slide my stiffy into her gigantic wet patch.

    ……………….\m/ \m/ …………………………..

    Reply
  30. Bomber Fish | July 10, 2009 at 3:24 am

    Just LOOK at those legs!! Yummy!!! They’re freakin’ perfect.

    Reply
  31. Darth | July 10, 2009 at 3:47 am

    I almost didn’t rcognize her and i had to look twice but did she lose some weight?

    Reply
  32. Nero | July 10, 2009 at 3:51 am

    How much would she ask? $20?

    Reply
  33. Aerialgreen | July 10, 2009 at 4:27 am

    No matter how nice this amazon woman might be in “real life” someone is laughing at her back for convincing of wearing those sausage casings, It’s cringe inducing shit right here.

    Seriously, what, if anything, suits for her figure? come on people, whip out those PhD’s and bring Broke a hope of light to the darkness of her genetic $3.99 pool.

    Reply
  34. kelly | July 10, 2009 at 5:41 am

    I found a great site “”"”"B l a c k W h i t e L o v i n gDoTc O m “”"”"” It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a sexy beauties and even hot celebs and make it true!

    Reply
  35. ROUGH daddy | July 10, 2009 at 5:53 am

    Is this a bad angle? how do you be this thick with no azz???

    Reply
  36. mikeock | July 10, 2009 at 6:17 am

    I bet she’s ripped dicks right out of the socket. Fucking She-Hulk.

    Reply
  37. desiredlogen | July 10, 2009 at 6:24 am

    She is so sexy as like her mom.

    Reply
  38. StEvec | July 10, 2009 at 7:03 am

    someone said thick ? how about fat ? what a cow she is….ready for the WWE tag team with her cartoon-faced dad

    Reply
  39. Ian | July 10, 2009 at 7:55 am

    That’s got to be a tranny.

    Reply
  40. Christina | July 10, 2009 at 8:19 am

    attractive but i mean somethings just off. how can she have no ass? her bottom half is very masculine? and her chin is too chinny for me..
    But shes got nice blonde hair and a tight figure.
    Um i would say nice breasts but, theyre just god awful..

    Reply
  41. Racer X | July 10, 2009 at 8:27 am

    I’d fuck her for 2 days straight.

    Reply
  42. berlinista | July 10, 2009 at 9:19 am

    In the first pictures she looks as if she has a shaved beard….see that greyish shadow around her mouth? Strange…someone applied some little photoshop action to make her look manlier? Also what´s with the chin in pics #2 to #6??? Well, not everyone enjoys the blessing of their parents genes…but come on girl, get some class!

    Reply
  43. Toolboy | July 10, 2009 at 9:26 am

    Brooke, Serena Williams and Khloe Kardashian are going to be in a spin off of Charlie’s Angels called Charlie’s Sasquatches.

    Reply
  44. DrPhowstus | July 10, 2009 at 9:31 am

    The only thing real on Brooke “Hogan” is that she’s a real idiot.

    Reply
  45. whattheshit | July 10, 2009 at 11:02 am

    Kind of reminds me of that video of sasquatch from the 70′s, only sasquatch is blond, tan and covered in pink Lycra.

    Reply
  46. chupacabra | July 10, 2009 at 11:31 am

    oh my god, I’m eating kielbasa and sauerkraut, and looking at the pic with her flip flops on, I’m almost barfed. NOT DURING LUNCH!

    Reply
  47. Jill | July 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    I hate when girls toes hang over the end of their shoes..gross.. it screams “stripper”.. go buy shoes that fit..

    Reply
  48. DrPhowstus | July 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    @47 I think she’s like a size 12… and no, I don’t mean her cock.

    Reply

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